Unnatural Relations (Lust and Lies Series, Book 1) (11 page)

She combed her fingers through her hair as she considered his interpretation of the legal words. "I'm not so sure. That might be stretching it a bit, but it could give me some power if it ever came down to a battle."

"Besides that," he continued, "I've been thinking. It isn't right that your child should suffer because his father's an asshole. What if you can't go back to work right away? I mean, I wouldn't mind supporting you both... if I could. But there's no telling how long it'll take me to get on my feet. And then there's still the rest of the doctor's bill and the hospital, and let's not forget rent, utilities—"

"Okay! I get the point. I need money. Dr. Roselli said I should be feeling better in a few more weeks then I can get back to work—"

"And what if you can't? Some women
can't
do it all, you know."

She wanted to argue that statement but her stomach chose that moment to rebel again and she rushed to the bathroom.

"See what I mean?" Russ said, following close behind. "You need to consider the worst possible situation." He automatically made a cool compress for her forehead and poured her a cup of water with mouthwash to rinse with. "What I'm getting at is this. You sign the agreement and demand receipts for everything. That way, whenever you need money you can sell something."

The fact that he could continue to carry on an important discussion on top of her gagging said a lot for their peculiar relationship. By the time she was relatively composed again, he had convinced her that she should sign the agreement.

"By the way," he said once that was decided, "I stopped by the restaurant today. Everybody asked about you."

"Oh,
gawd.
I really need to call in again."

"No, you don't. I told your boss the truth and he understands. He said to tell you he's got to hire another girl, but whenever you're ready to get back to work, he'll try to find room for you."

Barbara couldn't believe her ears. She didn't know which angered her more, his taking on another responsibility that she hadn't asked him to or that her illegitimate pregnancy was no longer a secret. "You told
my
boss that I'm pregnant and too sick to return to work? How could you do that? I've worked for him for almost two years. It was up to me to tell him what my
problem was,
not you!"

Her angry tone caused him to respond in kind. "Oh, yeah? And just when were you going to tell him? While you were vomiting or sleeping?" With each word he closed in on her until he was shouting in her face. "I was only trying to take care of something that was long overdue and save you some embarrassment. But could you just say,
thank you, Russ
, and shut your mouth? No way! Not the high and mighty 'I can do it all myself' bitch goddess! If you weren't so busy feeling sorry for yourself, you might have noticed that you haven't done one goddamned thing by yourself lately. Well, I'll tell you what you can do now. You can go fuck yourself."

He raised his fist as if to strike her, then abruptly turned and strode out the door.

For several seconds, Barbara simply stood there, staring at the open door in utter confusion. Had she been wrong to be upset? Would he come back? Did she want him to?

Yes. No. Maybe. It was all mixed up in her head. She didn't want to need him, yet she did. She had clearly come to rely on him, even though she'd never asked for his help.

Between being sick and the argument, she barely had the strength to walk to the door and close it. What she needed was a short nap, then she could think about it more clearly when she awoke. Before lying down, she took one of the pills the doctor had prescribed to settle her stomach. As her eyes drifted shut, she tried to remember when she had last thanked Russ for his kindness. In her determination to do it alone, had she failed to be the least bit appreciative, as he had accused? She would also think about that... after her nap.

* * *

She felt something touch her cheek and heard her name being whispered, but it wasn't enough to make her want to surface from the murky darkness.

"Barbara. I'm sorry."

She felt her body being shifted to make room for his alongside her. Howard was such a big man. They really needed to get a larger bed. She sighed and nestled into him as his hands stroked her hair. He was sorry. Everything was going to be just fine again.

"I shouldn't have gotten angry. It's just that I've been trying so hard to be the man you want me to be and not push you into anything before you're ready."

That wasn't Howard's voice. Nor was it a dream. The smell of cigarette smoke drifted into her nostrils and she forced herself to concentrate on waking up.

"I can't keep pretending. I can't keep lying here beside you without touching you night after night. It's making me nuts. All I think about is fucking you and sucking on your tits. They're so much bigger than they used to be."

Through her cotton nightgown, Barbara felt his hand molding her breast but she was still struggling to resurface. Only when he shifted his body and his mouth closed over the bared peak, did she find the energy to open her eyes. "Oh, Russ. No. I don't—" He sucked hard and a spear of pleasure shot through her, stealing away her breath and her words.

"Don't say no. Say yes. You need this as much as I do." His fingers ran down her abdomen and cupped the soft flesh between her thighs while his mouth captured hers in a searing kiss.

Her body responded before her mind could form an argument. He was right. She may not want Russ the way he wanted her, but she did need this—the fundamental proof that she was still a desirable woman. She suddenly, desperately needed to lose herself in physical pleasure, to be assured that she could still feel something good.

Without waiting for her verbal answer, Russ pushed up her nightgown and pulled her panties off. Only then did she realize he had come to her bed already undressed and fully aroused. A second later his teeth clamped down on one of her nipples and he sucked the puckered flesh into his mouth so hard it hurt.

"Ouch!
Remember, I'm tender."

He released her breast only to assault the even more sensitive area between her thighs with the same aggressive manner.

"Please, slow down," she complained. "You're hurting me."

Drawing himself up, he practically growled at her. "I can't slow down. You made me wait too long." And with barely a pause, he pushed her thighs apart and rammed his penis into her body.

Thankfully, it only took him a matter of seconds to finish and roll off.

"Oh, babe, I knew it was going to be great between us. Next time, though, we'll get you started before me. That way you'll want it as
hard and fast
as I like it."

Barbara was stunned. It was incredible to her that the man who had given her such gentle care while she was sick could be so thoughtless when it came to lovemaking.
Next time?
She shouldn't have given in once, let alone repeat the animalistic act again.

As she got up to go to the bathroom, she saw the satisfied smile on his face as he lay sprawled on her bed. He actually thought what had just happened between them was great! She cleaned herself up and bolstered her courage in preparation for the talk they needed to have. She appreciated his help but she was not willing to thank him with physical favors. He had caught her at a weak moment. Had she been thinking clearly, it wouldn't have happened. The best thing for both of them would be for him to move out as soon as possible.

Her firm resolve disintegrated when she returned to the main room and heard him peacefully snoring. He had been pushing himself so hard lately, trying to get his business started and taking care of her around the clock. He certainly deserved one good night's sleep before she rejected him again.

Damn!
She was so confused. She knew she hadn't requested his help and shouldn't feel obligated because of it. Yet she had allowed it to go on. Every time she thought of ordering him to leave, she felt guilty because she knew how hurt he was going to be.

The more she thought about it, she even became confused about what had happened that night. She could have said no, up front, but she didn't. Was it his fault that he wasn't able to make her feel the way Howard had? She thought of Russ's words,
hard and fast.
With Howard, hard and fast had been exactly how she had wanted him. It was always perfect with him.

She wiped away the tears that instantly built up when she thought of Howard. Surely this grieving would stop someday, but obviously that time hadn't come yet. With a sigh of resignation, she took another pill and put on a clean nightshirt and underpants.

Not wanting to disturb Russ, she pulled out the lower mattress for herself. The effort strained her lower back a little, but she figured it was from lack of exercise.

The next morning she knew differently. Her lower abdomen was cramping as if she were having a very bad period, and when she went to the bathroom, there was a dark stain on her underwear.

As always, Russ was hovering close enough to hear her groan. The next instant he was at her side. "What's the matter?" He saw the blood before she could answer and rushed to the phone. Within minutes, he'd arranged for Dr. Roselli to meet them at the hospital emergency room, had called for a taxi and was helping Barbara dress.

"I can't afford a taxi
or
the emergency room," she protested, but he wouldn't discuss it and Barbara didn't have the fortitude to fight with him.

Once again, it was simply easier to let Russ take care of everything.

Chapter 5

Dr. Roselli's orders were quite explicit. Since Barbara could not afford to stay in the hospital for observation, she was to take a cab home and go directly to bed. She was not even to get up to go to the bathroom for the next forty-eight hours. After that, she could be on her feet a few minutes each day, but otherwise, was to remain in bed for at least four weeks. The only exception was for her doctor's appointments. Sex was absolutely forbidden. She was given a shot, a supply of pills, a bedpan, and the warning that if she did not do as she was told, she would be risking a miscarriage.

All the way home, Barbara thought about that warning. Had she miscarried naturally, it could have solved a lot of problems. But if she purposely ignored the doctor's instructions and lost the baby, in her mind that would be the same as getting an abortion.

Russ held her hand and repeatedly told her not to worry. He would take the very best care of her.

She reconsidered her only alternative—going home to her parents. Now that she was practically an invalid, it was more unthinkable than it was in the beginning. She rationalized that she had a way of paying Russ back for his help. If she sold the jewelry Howard had given her, the money could support both Russ and her and help him get his new business started. And since the doctor had warned them not to engage in intercourse or any other strenuous sexual activities, she no longer had to deal with that problem.

When they arrived home, Russ insisted on carrying her up the stairs. Since she had already decided to heed the doctor's warning, she didn't bother to dissuade him.

"Have you ever considered making a career out of being an angel of mercy?" she asked as he lifted her off the ground. "You have a real knack for it."

He grinned and winked at her. "I just like having
you
at my mercy." Briefly tightening his hold on her, he made a growling sound and pretended to bite her neck.

"Miss Mancuso!" a man's voice called from a short distance down the sidewalk.

Russ turned and Barbara recognized Simon Decker hurrying toward them, ever-present briefcase in hand. In the midst of everything else that had happened, she had forgotten that he was coming that afternoon. "Put me down," she whispered to Russ. "I don't want him to know anything's wrong."

"No. You are not climbing those stairs. I'll cover for you."

Decker was slightly out of breath by the time he reached them. "You weren't here when I arrived, so I thought I'd take a walk. Hello, Russ. I didn't expect to see you today. I was sorry to hear about the, uh, confrontation you had with Mr. Hamilton." His gaze narrowed as he took in the couple's intimate embrace. "But I see that you're not suffering overmuch."

Russ laughed. "She promised to play Scarlett for me if I showed her my Rhett Butler imitation." Decker either didn't get it or didn't want to.