Authors: Unknown
She sat erect on the front steps, her hands folded on her lap, and her feet neatly placed—as a circumspect young lady would sit—and entered her dream world.
She heard a vehicle drive up some time later, and opened her eyes in time to see Hudson step out of a sleek, powerful car. He was looking fairly sleek and powerful himself, she mused, as she took in his immaculate dinner suit, the white shirt front complementing his tanned face.
‘I knew I'd find you here,’ he said cheerfully, easing his long frame down on the step, and adjusting the knife-edge crease on his trousers carefully.
‘I always hide in the same place. I make it too easy for you,’ she said with a smile.
‘Oh, I wouldn’t say that, Serenity James.’ His hazel eyes laughed at her. ‘May I say you’re looking exceptionally lovely tonight?’
‘You may,’ Serenity returned his gaze steadily. ‘You're cutting quite a dash yourself. No wonder the simple-minded village girls fling themselves at your feet.’
He grinned wickedly, ‘You’re not including yourself in that category?’
‘No, I'm not,’ she answered, as cool as the evening breeze outwardly, though her heart was thumping.
His hand stretched out to touch the froth of lace at her throat. ‘You look so demure. Wouldn’t you like to fling yourself at my feet? I think I’d enjoy the experience.’ He was too close for comfort. With a swift movement she was on her feet in a swirl of skirts. ‘If I ever feel the urge, I’ll restrain myself.’ She walked over to the rambling old moss rose, and breathed deeply, loving the heavy perfume.
He followed and picked a bud from a yellow rose bush, handing it to her with a well-executed bow. ‘This one is called Peace.’
‘Thank you.’ She accepted the rose. ‘Do you need me for something?’
‘What would your answer be, if I said I really needed you, Serenity James?’
‘I’d tell you not to be silly, that you have everything you need already,’ she said firmly.
‘Yet you have the capacity to make me feel young again. To believe in all sorts of stupid things like purity, chastity, faithfulness . . .’
‘What’s so stupid about purity, or chastity?’ Serenity demanded sharply.
‘It’s extinct. . . like the dodo. Like believing in fairies at the bottom of the garden; when you grow up, you know there aren’t any. It’s not a popular choice any longer. . . too old-fashioned.’
‘Just because something is not popular is no proof that it no longer exists.’
‘Well, I haven’t met it for years . . .’
‘You’ve met it tonight, so back down.’ Serenity’s eyes darkened dangerously.
‘I could almost believe you. You’re chock-f of surprises,’ he laughed lightheartedly.
‘You’ll be in for some more surprises if you dawdle round here and leave your partner cooling her heels. She’ll be wanting her pound of flesh.’
‘So you know she’s a lawyer. Did you see her this morning?’
‘I saw her, but she didn’t really see me.’
‘And were you impressed? Not exactly the pathetic lump you envisioned.’
‘Certainly not that,’ Serenity agreed blandly.
‘Well, what did you think of her?’
‘I think that she should fulfil all your expectations,’ Serenity declared solemnly.
‘That sounds ominous. Which expectations are you referring to?’
‘You’re not offering love. You don’t want it in your marriage. With her as your wife, I don’t think you need to worry. Apart from that, it should be a fine arrangement. She is highly intelligent, well educated, of excellent social standing and, at a guess, wealthy.’
‘And you didn’t like her?’ Hudson had a speculative gleam in his eye.
‘I liked her as much as she liked me,’ Serenity said firmly.
‘But you think love is important?’
‘Yes, I do. But then I’m not like you. Money, position, background are not important to me. When you offered me your credentials that first day, you gave me your parents’ track record. I didn’t even know my father, my mother was a doctor’s receptionist, yet I feel no less a person than your Madeline Buchanan. It would be nice to have had the privileges that you have had and she has had, but I don’t feel in the least deprived because I haven’t got them. It’s what I make of my own life that counts.’
‘Very commendable, but you didn’t answer my question. Do you think love is important in a marriage?’
Serenity met his gaze steadily. She’d forgotten his habit of not letting go when he wanted information.
‘Essential. But again, you and I have nothing in common. You think marriage is part of the throw-away society. I believe in the “till death us do part” contract. I want my marriage to last. I will work at it. I will bring everything I have to offer to make that happen, and I will choose a man who feels the same way. I have a good mind, and a good body . . .’
'I’ll vouch for the body.’ His mouth twitched.
‘Don’t be flippant,’ she flared at him. ‘You asked for my opinion, you’re getting it. Marriage is more than loving, it’s a commitment—of the mind, of the emotions, and especially of the will. You have committed yourself to this station. You don’t cut and run when things go wrong; you stay and hold in there till you make it come right again. A professional soldier or athlete commits himself to a certain way of life, and when things are rough, he’ll probably hate it, but he’ll stay with it because it is his choice. It’s the commitment that counts, but you can’t carry it through without love.’
‘And John feels the same way you do?’ He looked at her curiously.
‘Of course,’ she snapped. Then honesty forced her to add, 'I'm sure he does. I’ve never spelled it out for him, but he never asked me, and you did.’
‘I hope he’s man enough for the road,’ Hudson commented. His hazel eyes bored into her as if reading her thoughts.
Serenity bit her lip and looked away. John wasn't, but she wasn’t going to marry John, only Hudson didn’t know that. She didn’t even know where those words had come from, but she knew for certain she could never marry John now. She did not love him enough.
‘You know, Serenity, you sounded just like Sarah Tarrant. She used to lecture me just like that. I wish you’d met her.’
‘So do I,’ Serenity said passionately. ‘You don’t know how much.’ Then, more quietly, she asked, ‘I don’t want to keep you. What did you want?’
‘You’re not keeping me. I'd like to stay and talk to you, but unfortunately I have a previous engagement, and duty calls . . .’
‘If I ever had a date with you, and you called it unfortunate, or duty, I wouldn't be pleased.’
He grinned. 'If you ever have a date with me, I’d never describe it as duty, and certainly never regard it as unfortunate.’
‘I told you I prefer sincerity to flattery,’ she said angrily, stepping away from him.
‘And you think I’m not sincere?’
Again there was that curious look in his eyes, and her heart started to pound. Something was happening here that she didn’t understand, like the time he told her about his girl dying. She felt excited, and vibrantly alive, yet intensely vulnerable, as if she were swimming out of her depth. The heavenly fragrance of the garden and the gathering dusk combined to make her more aware of him than she had ever been of any other man. She wanted to run, yet knew she wouldn’t.
‘Oh, Cam is up at the house. He thought he’d visit with you in case you were still upset about your ring, and I thought you might be a bit nervous being left on your own.’
‘You asked him to look after me?’ Serenity demanded furiously. 'I don’t need a baby-sitter. I
told
you, I like solitude. You’re late. Why don’t you go?’
‘Because I’m enjoying myself. Sarah always walked to the gate with me. Are you going to walk me to the gate, Serenity?’
‘Yes, I’ll do that. Come on.’ Anything to get rid of him, now. There was danger all around here; she sensed it. She didn’t need to look at him to know that he was smiling. She led him by the hand, trying to urge him to hurry. If she could only get him into the car, she would be safe. Could he feel her trembling?
At the car he stopped, but did not release her hand. ‘Oh, I meant to mention, Madeline will be staying here tonight, or what’s left of it by the time we get home.’
She took a deep breath. ‘That should be interesting.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Well, this morning she asked me if I had your permission to call you Hudson. Do you think I should call you Mr Grey while she is visiting?’
‘Certainly not. I love you calling me Hudson.’ Serenity tried to release her hand, but he held it firmly, so she just stood looking up at him.
‘Madeline is not used to West Coast ways. We don’t stand on ceremony. She’ll change.’
‘No, she won’t do that, Hudson. You’ll be the one who changes.’ It came out thickly and charged with emotion, and she cursed herself for giving so much away.
‘So you like me as I am, do you, Paleface? What a delightful surprise.’ He chuckled and pulled her closer.
She knew he was going to kiss her, and far from wanting to stop him, she wanted him to more than she had ever wanted anything before. With shining eyes and her mouth softening into a smile, she put her free arm about his neck and lifted her enchanting face to his, and gave herself to an experience that she knew would shatter her world into a million pieces. She knew in the moment before his firm lips came down on hers that she had fallen in love with Hudson Grey.
She had been playing with fire from the moment he had joined her in the garden, and now the fire was out of control, searing her, scorching her with its intensity, carrying her to heights that she had not believed existed. And she met fire with fire, feeling boneless and floating free, her hand in his auburn hair holding him to her, holding the moment so that time itself would cease.
At last he lifted his head and stared down into her eyes. ‘I don’t often make mistakes. I should not have asked you to stay.’
She felt his arms free her and she stepped back, away from him. 'I’ll leave tomorrow,’ she offered quietly.
‘No. A deal is a deal, and anyway I think it’s too late. I must go. Goodnight, Serenity James.’
‘Goodnight, Hudson.’ She watched him get into the car and reverse out to the track, then watched the lights sweep across the paddock as he took the road for town.
She turned her steps towards the house where Cam waited. So Hudson was sorry he had kissed her. Well, she wasn’t sorry. She was glad, she was so glad. She felt shaken to the depths of her being, but now she had a yardstick, a measure to gauge her feelings. Unless any other man could make her feel the way Hudson had, she could not even consider marriage as a remote possibility, and she did not believe that such a man existed. Only Hudson.
Suddenly the moon rose over the snow-clad mountains, huge, round and golden, flooding the darkened valley with light, and she danced the last few yards to the house. Would Cam notice anything different about her? She felt an entirely different person, changed, more vital, impulsive, intoxicated with happiness. Would it show on the outside?
‘Good evening, Cam. It was nice of you to visit me, but as I told Hudson, I’m not scared of being on my own. Don’t feel you have to stay.’
‘I won’t. I had to come over and give Milo a few turns. He’s coming on fine. He respects the rope now, and it’s important to keep to a routine or I’ll have to start all over again.’
She looked up at his tall, lanky frame. 'Is that your full-time work? Breaking in horses?’
‘Hardly. It’s my hobby. I love horses, and have always been good with them. I’m on vacation just now from College, so I’ve been working with Hudson on these horses, and enjoying it.’
‘Agricultural College, I suppose?’ she said as she went to plug in the kettle. ‘Tea or coffee?’
‘Tea will be fine.’
‘Have you had dinner, Cam? Can I make you something?’ She suddenly realised she was starving ... so it couldn’t be love. People in love didn’t want to eat. Funny, it felt like love.
‘I had a sandwich with the boys when they came in, but if you’re cooking, I’m eating.’
Serenity laughed. ‘How about an omelette?’ She felt like singing, as if an orchestra was playing, swamping her with music.
'I
’d enjoy that. Anything I can do to help? You look different tonight, Serenity. That dress is fabulous— surely you’re not going to cook while you’re wearing it?’
She had forgotten her dress, she had forgotten everything except Hudson, and his kiss. 'I'm not a messy cook. How do I look different?’
‘Starry-eyed. Like someone in love,’ Cam said, smiling. ‘Hudson said you’re getting married in a few weeks.
I know the feeling, but I’ve got to wait until I get my degree. By the way, I’m at Saint John’s, in Auckland. I’m a theological student.’
Serenity turned in astonishment. ‘You’re going to be a vicar?’
His eyes were vividly blue. ‘Don’t you approve?’
‘Yes, but it’s such a surprise.’ She continued to beat the eggs, and quickly poured them into the pan.
'I
t was a surprise to the family, too. They’re getting used to it now, but Dad was fairly provoked by my decision. Eldest son, and all that, supposed to go on the farm. Still, I explained the old English style was to give one son to the Church, one to the Army, and the idiot son stayed on the farm.’
Serenity asked with a smile, ‘Have you an idiot brother to fit the part?’
‘Two, actually. No, they’re very competent, but younger, so Dad will still have the running of the place for a few more years. He thought he was going to offload it on to me.’
‘Do you get on well with your father?’ Strange how easy she felt with Cam, as if she’d known him all her life, yet she had been petrified the first time she had seen him.
‘Oh, there’s the ordinary friction that occurs in most families, but on the whole we get on well. I’m probably closer to my mother than I am to him, especially since this church business. She came from a church family, so she understands, while Dad thinks I’m just a good farmer going to waste.’
Serenity served the cheese omelette and listened to Cam talk of his family and his girl, only half listening, really, her mind busy with her own thoughts. She had come here, in the first instance, to trace her mother’s family, and secondly to find the man whose photo her mother had kept, but falling in love with Hudson had eclipsed everything else. Suddenly, discovering whether Robert Blair was her father or not had become unimportant. Finding out about Sarah Tarrant, that was different. Her grandmother was the one she would have loved to know.