University Park Series Box Set: Books 1-3 (23 page)

“How did you two get in last time you
were here?”

Damn, did she have to bring that up?

As much as I didn’t want to recall my
last time with Raven, it definitely took my heart to a place that made me feel
all warm and fuzzy inside. It was a good time, a memorable one that I’d never
forget.

“We snuck in through a side gate.” I
pointed to my right.

“Seriously?” Delaney followed my hand.
“And you didn’t get caught?”

“Nope.” I inhaled deeply as I battled
with the side of my brain telling me to get up and leave. That I was stupid for
coming here with her. That I had no business trying to capture Raven’s
attention.

“Maybe they let y’all in because of
Raven.” Delaney got up and stepped up to the gate, pressing her head against
the thick, black bars.

“No, I don’t think so. We pretty much
went in without authorization. Aside from the guard knowing, we had to be
careful that we didn’t get caught.”

“I guess you got lucky.”

I kicked a few small pebbles, making
them fly across the sidewalk. “I guess so.” The question was, had my luck run
out? Was I that lucky girl that got a chance to be with the star football
player, only to never been seen with him again?

“Sorry you had to wait.” A short guy
appeared wearing a white PHU polo shirt and khakis. He punched a code in the
keypad on the opposite side of the gate and it opened.

“It’s okay.” Delaney smiled at him and I
followed her.

“Raven will be on the field in a few
minutes.” We trekked behind him, going down a few stairs until we were in front
of another gate that led directly to the field. With a key, he unlocked it and
pushed it opened for us. “When you’re done, wait here and I’ll let you out.”

I nodded and Delaney responded, “Okay.”

The guy turned and walked down a path
toward the locker room area, disappearing behind a set of double doors.

“I’m going to wait in the bleachers,
okay?” I pointed to the right.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come on
the field with me?”

“I think it’s best if I stay here.” I
took a few steps back.

Delaney shrugged. “If you say so.”

She walked through the gate and it
closed behind her. I sat on the metal bleachers and immediately was glad the
sun was shining brightly. A cool breeze wisped around the stadium and I
shuddered.

If only Raven were here to wrap his arms
around me.

No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop
thinking about him. I really missed him. I sighed and hoped that being there
wouldn’t make him mad. That was the last thing I wanted, but I had to make an
effort. I’d give him one last chance and after that, I was done. I refused to
chase him, especially if he didn’t want to be with me.

Delaney walked to the center of the
twenty-yard line and set her bag on the ground. Hopefully her idea would work
and he’d call me to come to the field. Unzipping my backpack, I pulled out my
book and flipped it to the last chapter I had been reviewing. I stared at the
page, but I didn’t read one word. All I could think about was Raven. I pulled
the book closer to me, trying to focus, and started at the beginning of the
chapter for the third time.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Raven
walk on to the field fully dressed in his football uniform. My heart rate
picked up at the sight of him, but I forced myself to stay calm. The guy that
opened the gate for us followed behind him, lugging a cart of footballs. Raven
immediately acknowledged Delaney and then caught my gaze. I released a gentle
smile, unsure of how I should greet him. What I really wanted to do was rush
the field and jump into his arms. He raised his head slightly as though noting
my presence, but didn’t smile or wave. The fluttering in my heart seized and my
lungs deflated as I let out a huge sigh.

Maybe this was a bad idea after all.

I leaned against the hard metal bleacher
behind me and crossed my arms, soothing myself once again the best way I knew
how. What had happened to all the excitement between us? The special attraction
that neither of us could deny? I knew mine still existed for him, but what
happened to the feelings he had for me? Had my innocence scared him off?

Snubbing my mom’s voice in my head that
continuously reminded me that Collin was the one I should be with, I picked up
my book. I ran my hand over the page and then slammed it shut. As I started to
place it in my backpack, another voice filtered through my muddled mind.

Don’t leave.

I stopped and opened the book. If I
left, I’d never know if he was glad to see me. If I stayed, I could wait until
Delaney was done taking pictures and go talk to him. This was my chance to ask
him what was going on in person. Of course, he could lie to me or avoid the
question, but I had to ask. I wanted to know what had changed over the past
week to make him standoffish. He owed me an explanation.

Over the next hour, I kept one eye on my
book and the other on Raven. Delaney took several shots of him throwing and
catching the football, running on and off the field, and different poses that
made it difficult for me to stay seated, much less read or study. Why was he so
damn sexy? Every ripple, bulge, and muscle seemed to call to me, despite his
refusal to look at me. I buried my face in my hands. I was such a hot mess.

How the hell did I get like this?

I was supposed to be smarter, not to
mention more discerning, when it came to guys like this. I knew better. I
blamed my lack of experience and my sheltered life for it, because I had no
other way of explaining it to myself.

The Raven’s trap was an addiction that I
couldn’t get out of my head, my mouth, off my skin, or stay away from. I was in
too deep to walk away.

I wanted him.

I needed him.

I had to have him.

Shit! This totally sucks.

“Thanks, Raven. I’ll let you know when I
have everything done.” Delaney’s voice echoed in the distance.

I quickly glanced up, just as Raven
walked off the field. He didn’t bother to say bye to me. All hope for us
vanished in a second and I felt so stupid for going there. Delaney looked at me
with a heartfelt expression, even though it wasn’t her fault. She had tried and
I had attempted, for the second time, to see him. I had failed once again. For
whatever reason, Raven was no longer interested in me.

Grabbing my things, I headed toward the
gate when Raven turned around. Our gazes caught and I saw a look of regret
cross his face. I continued weaving through the bleachers until I stood at the
gate leading to the field. The guy that had been helping Raven pushed it open
for Delaney and started to shut it when Raven spoke up.

“Lexi, can I talk to you for a moment?”

The sound of my name rolling off his
tongue always sent my body into a frenzy, but this time it was so aloof that I
knew what he had to say wouldn’t be good.

“Do you want me to wait for you?”
Delaney glanced at Raven and then at me.

“No, that’s okay. I’ll see you at the dorm.”

She gave me a quick nod and then leaned
forward, whispering, “Go easy on him.”

My head retracted, somewhat taken back
by her comment. I mean, whose side was she on? The guy stepped back and allowed
me on the field before disappearing with Delaney.

“Is everything okay?” I tried to feign
ignorance. He pursed his lips together and his eyes narrowed. He had seen right
through my little act but it was worth the try.

“Let’s sit down.” He pointed to the bleachers.

We walked through the small gate and sat
on the nearest bench. Sitting next to him dressed in his protective gear and
huge shoulder pads, I felt so small. Fragile. Docile. I reminded myself that I
was no longer that person. Things had changed and I was slowly changing, too.

“I’m sorry that I came.” I shrugged off
my backpack and set it in front of me.

He sighed and then said, “I’m not upset
because you came with Delaney, if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s just that…”
He held his helmet between his massive hands and I imagined me between them.
Feeling their warmth and soothing touch. His thumbs stretched across the front
mask area and he fiddled with the sun visor, flipping it up and down. The
helmet was covered in reptile markings with a dragon sketched on the side. The
purple paint shimmered under the bright sunlight and it really was beautiful.
Just like him.

“What?” I leaned forward, trying to
catch his gaze, but he refused to look at me.

“Lexi, I… I really like you. I do.” His
head lowered and my heart sank.

Even though I had a feeling he was going
to tell me he didn’t want to see me anymore, I had hoped I was wrong. I took a
deep breath and in one breath, said, “Let me guess. You don’t want to see me
anymore.” My chest squeezed and my stomach did a somersault. I had said it,
even though I didn’t want to.

“I’m not good for you, Lexi.” He slowly
turned his head in my direction.

“Don’t say that. You’re a great person,
Raven.” I pressed my lips together and blinked a few times, feeling the onset
of tears. Why was I on the verge of crying? I may have liked Raven, but I
didn’t love him. Or did I?

“It’s the truth and you know it. You
deserve to be with a guy that has his shit together and isn’t a total screw up
like me.” He set his helmet on the bleacher.

I knew at that moment that my intuition
was completely on target. What had sparked the change in the way he was acting
toward me had everything to do with what his mother had said the other day.

“But you’re not a screw up Raven. Can’t
you see that?” I pivoted my body and grabbed his arms, turning him to face me.
“You’re a great guy and an awesome football player, with a great future ahead
of you.”

“Lexi, my family isn’t like your family.
We’re all effed up.” His eyes darted to the side and then back at me, pain
circling around them. I knew this was hurting him, just as much as it was
hurting me.

“I’m not here to judge you, Raven. I
know you’ve had it rough and you deserve to have someone that will be there for
you. Encourage you. Support you.” I wrapped my hands around his. “I want to be
that person.”

He pulled back, forcing me to let go of
his hands. “I wish you could be, but it’s better that you aren’t. You’re too
good for me.”

My body slumped forward, but I
straightened, forcing myself to get through to him. “I’m sorry that you think
that I’m Miss Goody Two-Shoes, but I’ve got news for you. I’m not as innocent
as you think.”

“Oh, come on.” Raven shot me a
disdaining look. “Who are we kidding? You had never drank a beer or took a shot
of liquor until you met me.”

“That was my choice. I didn’t have to
drink the things you offered me, but I did because I wanted to,” I assured him.

He cupped his hands around my face and I
relaxed into them. It took all my effort to keep my eyes from closing. It was
so easy to get lost in his trap. The trap I loved being a prisoner to. “I’ll
destroy you, Lexi. Trust me.”

I covered his hand with mine. “No, you
won’t. Because I won’t let that happen to either of us.”

“Lexi, my problems stem deeper than you
can imagine. All of the forces of nature couldn’t keep me from doing some of
things I know I’m not supposed to do. I’ll just pull you down with me and I
can’t do that to you.” He stared deep into my eyes and I waited eagerly to see
if the connection we once had would take over and make all of this better
somehow. But it didn’t.

“Raven, don’t do this.” In that moment,
my heart broke all over again. How had I fallen for him so quickly?

 “Please, Lexi.” He rested his forehead
against mine, but his hands drifted away from my face. “Don’t make this harder
for us. Just go back to your fiancé.”

“What?” I jerked my head away and sucked
in a deep breath, pissed that he had the nerve to tell me to go back to a guy
that he knew nothing about.

“You heard me, Collin is waiting for
you.”

“How do you know that?” I pressed him
hard for an answer but he didn’t say anything. “What exactly did Delaney tell
you?”

“Not much... really. But I know who
Collin is—”

“You know Collin Norris? Personally?” I
snapped. Every word he spoke reminded me of something my parents would have
said. The last thing I needed was another person telling me what to do.

“Well, not personally, but I know of
him.” His forehead creased and his eyes narrowed. This might have been hard for
him, but he hadn’t even considered what it was doing to me. He had assumed he
knew what was best for me. Why was he making this so hard on both of us when he
didn’t have to? “He’s a good guy. His dad’s a preacher and he’s the one you
should be with, not me.”

I shot up. “Oh my God! You know nothing
about him, yet you’re ready to dump me at his doorstep. I guess you really
don’t care about me or what makes me happy because it sure isn’t Collin.”