“Hey, how are you feeling?” Trish’s worried voice wipes away my troubled thoughts.
“I’m okay, but you shouldn’t have come. The quads need you.”
She waves me off and says, “Jake is with them, plus my mom is there. Besides, you don’t want Jake here. LT’s caveman state of mind is all you need.” Trish leans forward and whispers, “I feel bad for Sophia. I wouldn’t want to be in the same room with LT. I just hope he won’t get into trouble.”
“How’s Brian doing?” I ask, but my mind is stuck with the name Sophia. Is she the one that hit me?
“It’s hard to say. You know he’s so quiet, unlike Jake and Cody. He just sits there, but you can feel his tension. It’s . . . it’s very nerve wracking. I think I’d rather have Jake go caveman, instead of being like Brian.” She narrows her eyes at me sensing the trouble I’m trying to hide from everybody. “Something is wrong. What is it?”
She knows me too well, and I owe her so much not to be honest. “When dad was talking to the boys last night, I overheard Brian tell LT and Cody he never wants to have kids. That explains why he has been ignoring me every time I ask him about it.”
“That’s a typical guy reaction though, T. I mean, guys don’t typically wake up one morning like we do and have the desire to want a child. It’s a common reaction if you ask me.”
“I don’t know, Trish. It’s not like I want to have a child right now. He could have expressed the willingness to have one, but at the same time stress the fact that he doesn’t want one immediately. I would have understood that, but giving me nothing except total silence means something else.”
“I don’t know. I think you’re over thinking it. We’ve all been under a lot of stress, and only now we’re relaxing. I’m sure having kids is one topic he doesn’t want to discuss.”
“Maybe.”
A part of me wants to accept Trish’s take on this, but the other part of me, where logic lives, tells me to reject such thoughts. There’s something unsettling about his absolute quietness and elusiveness on this subject that doesn’t sit well with me.
“Stop that! There’s no maybe between you and Brian. Do you need me to call Roxy to set you straight?” Trish raises her brow at me while tilting her head to the side.
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m the one who sets both of you straight. I’ll try not to think about it, alright? But, I’m not going to ignore it either.”
Sighing, she reaches for my hand. “Tami, Brian adores you. Heck, he’ll do anything for you just like Jake would for me and the quads. For now, I want you to ignore anything other than getting better, okay?”
“Why don’t you ask LT to drive you back? I’m sure Jake is worried sick. You know how he gets when you’re not around for a long period of time. Kiss the quads for me, will ya?”
“Jake is fine, besides he wants me here. I’ll send Brian in. Hopefully, LT’s done grilling Sophia.” She giggles then says, “It’s weird calling her that, you know. She’s super nice and wants to meet you by the way.” She abruptly stops to look at her phone, then smiles showing me Jaelin and Jillian sleeping next to Jake.
“Jake is so in love with them, Trish.”
“We’re so in love with him, too.”
My mom walks in just as Trish is kissing me goodbye. They talk for a couple of minutes more, of course, about the quads until my dad walks in with tension veiling his face.
“Sweetheart, how are you feeling?” My dad’s familiar voice calms me.
“I’m fine, Dad. Trish mentioned Sophia. Is she the one that hit me?”
“LT’s asking them questions while they field their own. He may have exchanged a few choice words with Ms. Sophia Andrews.”
My jaw drops with my dad’s revelation. “Are you serious? Sophia Andrews, as in the President’s daughter? Wait. . . . you said LT is grilling her? Poor girl.”
Dad shakes his head and grins, “That’s LT for you. He’s fiercely protective of those he loves, and he doesn’t cower over titles and status.” My dad’s cell rings twice before he picks up and mouths ‘Jake’ as he follows Trish out.
My mom’s silence allows my heart and brain to focus on Brian. My heart dances, it pulses its normal strength, leaps its normal height every single time the mere thought of him enters my mind. I can’t fight the attraction; I can’t deny my feelings any more than I can lie to my heart. But, that has got nothing to do with what I need to know, what he needs to admit, and the painful reality of knowing the truth. My mom always tells me, there’s a time and a place for everything, and while my heart wants to ask ‘the question,’ lying in this hospital bed isn’t the right place.
Though, there may never be a right time for someone to break my heart.
BRIAN
“I don’t need to be checked! I need to know if she’s okay.”
“For once, if you’ll listen and follow rules, I think you’ll find yourself less involved in situations like this,” LT’s remark earns him a stare down from one of the Secret Service agents, and a death glare from the President’s daughter, Sophia.
Agent Taylor, who’s standing in front of Sophia raises his hand. “I suggest you stand down, sir.”
LT smirks and says, “You want me to stand down? We don’t know what’s going on with one of our own because of irresponsible decisions made by yours.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve said it a billion times,” Sophia’s shaky voice slices through the stress filled air in the room.
“How about you say that to her parents, then think about yours and how disappointed they’d be hearing about this,” LT answers without blinking an eye.
I let LT square everything away. As I sit here and wait, I’m finding out how painfully exhausting this waiting can test someone’s patience. LT’s little outburst occupied my brain for a good minute or two until my mind drifts back to her. After Jake’s cancer scare and Cody and Roxy’s close call with the cartel, I’ve been on edge, knowing that anything can happen that could tip the balance of my life.
This accident tipped it, alright.
Gunny walks back into the waiting room, jerking his head toward the direction of Tami’s room. Not waiting for him to say anything, I walk out and straight to my heart. I know she’s feeling like crap as she’s all banged up, and seeing her in this state makes my blood boil. So, I brace myself before I push aside the curtain that separates us.
“Angel, how are you feeling? I think I’ve aged ten years since we got that phone call,” I blurt out as I kiss her on her forehead.
I let my lips linger as I normally do. If only I could attach myself to her, I’d do it. I’ll never forget the look on Roxy’s face when she came running to let us know what happened. My heart literally stopped. Even as my training kicked in, it can only take me so far. When fear of the unknown threatens the love of my life, everything stops.
It stops—but what makes me move is the love we have.
“I’m okay. What happened?”
My eyes are steady on hers while I link my fingers with her cold ones. “You’re not going to believe it, but the President’s daughter T-boned your car. Gunny and LT are still talking to the Secret Service.” My wandering eyes move about her face, but never stray anywhere else. “How are you really feeling?”
Inhaling deeply she answers, “I’m really okay, except . . .” pointing to her head, sighing slowly. “ . . . this persistent headache that doesn’t want to go away. Hopefully, it will soon since I really want to get out of here.”
Now that I’m here, facing my angel, I’m tongue tied; only because before we got the call, LT and I were shooting the shit regarding neither of us wanting to have kids. My guilt of being away from Tami, and what I was saying gnaws at me. I should’ve been with her, instead of sharing with my boys a secret that I should’ve told her from the very beginning.
I let her sleep, or more like I told her to do so. I sit here and watch her, memorizing the shape of her luscious lips, her almond shape eyes, her delicate nose, and her widow’s peak that shapes her face. When she wakes, I hope she opens her grey eyes to meet my green ones to ease the ache I feel.
After almost an hour of watching her, a nurse walks in, checks her blood pressure which wakes her, and tells me she’ll be spending the night since it’s still above normal. She goes back to sleep, and before she totally goes under, I start running my thumb against her cheek, one of my favorite things to do.
“Angel, open your eyes. We need to tell your parents you’re spending the night.”
Her eyes flutter for a moment before opening. “Hey,” she mumbles, then licks her lips.
I don’t ask for permission, I just cover her lips with mine. A few pecks turn into something more, and momentarily, my heart calms, my guilt diminishes as my lips devour hers, my tongue spearing, invading what’s mine, and giving her what’s hers. Reluctantly, I let her go after a few more pecks.
“What was that for?” Her eyes dance with something I can’t pinpoint. It seems to be part happiness, part sadness. . . . sadness from what I don’t know.
“I just miss your lips, angel. I’ll be right back.”
As I’m about to turn, she pulls my hand stopping me. “Wait. Why don’t you go with them? I’ll be fine here.”
“No! I want to be where you are,” I say, looking at her incredulously.
Does she want to get rid of me that badly? Somehow, I think she does.
When you carry secrets, guilt isn’t that far away. Simple words are given different meanings. Actions are misconstrued. Relationships are strained. Motives are questioned. Life—life becomes complicated.
“I just want you to be comfortable, Brian.”
Giving her a small smile, I turn to leave while my brain is stuck on her wanting me to leave her. Rarely would she want to be alone, hence, the late night call when Jake was in the hospital.
LT gives me a chin nod as soon as he sees me. “Last time I checked, Tami’s doing okay, what’s with the face?”
“Something is off. I can feel it. Where’s everyone?”
Pursing his lips he says, “You’re just on edge, man. Don’t put meaning to everything. They went to the cafeteria.”
“Well, just let them know Tami is staying overnight. Everything is good, the nurse said, it’s just precaution. I’ll call first thing in the morning.”
“Okay, I’ll let them know,” LT says as he prepares to leave.
“Wait. What did the Secret Service say?”
Shaking his head, LT says, “Spoiled brat daughter broke protocol. How she talks her way into doing what she’s not supposed to is beyond me. I’m telling you right now, if I were watching her, she’d do as I say. Thank God, I don’t have that job. She’s like Roxy, but ten times worse.”
“No one is worse than your sister, man.”
Slapping my shoulders, he walks toward the elevator as I give him a two finger salute. As I walk back to Tami, I can’t help but think, God may be playing a trick on us since our group seems to always end up in the hospital somehow.
BRIAN
TEN O’CLOCK THE FOLLOWING MORNING,
we’re driving back to the farmhouse, and Tami is noticeably quiet the whole time. Not wanting to prolong the awkwardness, I take a detour and drive toward the rose garden next to a trail, instead of heading straight for the farmhouse.
She turns to me and eyes me suspiciously. “Why are we stopping?”
“Is something bothering you? You seem off, angel.”
She turns her head away from me, and I wait until she opens her mouth. Tami doesn’t play games. She’ll call it the way she sees it. Her silence is getting to me. This is supposed to be a week of letting loose, and her indifference isn’t my idea of relaxation.
She speaks, finally, “I’ve asked you many times over the past couple of weeks if you want to have kids. And, if not now, then when. It’s not like I want to have kids, right now. I thought I made that clear, and even with that, you haven’t said a single word. Why is that, Brian?” Then, she swings her gaze to me.
I start the car to buy me some time to think of a response. Why can’t she just let this baby making shit go? I feel as though I’m being cornered, and my impulse is to run. The truth is, I want to have kids . . . just not now. I’m not fucking ready.
The five minute drive from the garden to the farmhouse is nothing but silence, on both our parts. I go around to open her door as I thank God for small mercies since she actually stays put. I reach for her hands, linking our fingers with one plan in mind—I need to take her in our room ASAP.
Tami isn’t a nagger. She gives me space and time to think, but I know that once we set foot inside our room, it’s game on. Closing the door behind me, I watch her walk straight to the window as she waits on me.
Clearing my throat, I begin, “What’s up with the baby fever, T?”
Shaking her head, she answers, “I ask you a question, and you answer it with a question of your own.” She asks as she turns to face me, “When will you ever give me an answer? There are only three possible answers, Brian. One is yes; the others are no or wait. I’m not asking you to marry me. I don’t understand the apprehension.”
Typical male that I am, my solution is to have sex with her; one because I want to and second, it’s a distraction. I stalk toward her, not breaking eye contact. Now that we’re face to face, I give her an answer she wants to hear, and a half truth I’m willing to divulge.
“I want to have kids, of course, just not now. I want to enjoy us. Now that Jake is cancer free and we’ve dealt with the cartel, I want to just be with you. I want to do regular things couples do like go on dates, a walk on the beach, shit like that. I want to travel with you, go on a vacation with nothing to worry about. Is that acceptable?”