Authors: S. R. Mallery
The return trip was slightly uncomfortable. Martha looked totally depleted by the time they reached her house; Harry, overly subdued. As the car pulled up, her mother came flying out, shaking her head and asking Harry what the blazes he thought he was doing. Harry ended up apologizing, but not before Martha hugged him hard and in a loud voice announced, “This…this was…a wonderful…wonderful…day. Bye, Sonia…bye…Harry. I love…you both…”
After the front door slammed, Harry ambled back to the car, opened the driver seat side, and slid in. “I guess I'm in the doghouse with her mom, but I'm really happy she had such a good time. How ‘bout you? Did you have a good time?”
Sonia leaned back in the front seat and closed her eyes. “Would you like to come over to my place for a while?” She could hear his breath intake and opened her eyes. “I mean it, Harry. Do—do you want to?”
His eyes never looked so dark and she could only imagine the thoughts sifting through his brain. “Okay,” he muttered, and switched on the ignition.
It was like manna from Heaven. Halloween candy for a kid. Petra couldn't get enough of Harry. The second he sat down on the couch, she practically attacked him with purrs and rubs. Sonia had to laugh, never remembering anyone getting this much affection from her. She went to her fridge and opening the door asked, “White wine okay for you?”
“Sure,” was his measured answer as he kept stroking Petra's fur, releasing wisps of cat hair and dander everywhere.
Back on the couch, Sonia gently removed Petra from her new love, and sat close to Harry. He said nothing, just watched until her thigh was touching his. “Why the sudden interest? Where's Mike?”
“I don't know, tonight I don't care,” she answered, taking two big swigs of her drink before placing the half empty glass on the coffee table. She was feeling all those familiar twinges in her body and she knew, once they were there, there would be nothing to stop her from going full steam ahead. She crossed one leg over his, and went in for his mouth, her lips parted, her eyes closing.
He stopped her. “Wait. Wait. Let's do it my way.”
“What?”
He started to caress her hands, fingertip-by-fingertip. She sat still, annoyed, frustrated, yet fascinated. When she tried to reach for his groin, he pushed her hand away, muttering, “Not yet. Not yet.” What the hell was going on? she wondered.
Pulling off both his shirts and unbuttoning her blouse, he moved on to her arms and shoulders. His kisses were like flutters, gentle, sensuous, totally unlike any of her previous lovers. He let her touch him now, but it was obvious his rhythm was slow, and picking up on his cue, she followed his style, enjoying every part of his body, not just the genital areas. More clothes were being shed and as each item was removed, the flesh underneath became a target of more strokes, stronger kisses. Soon, her entire body felt as if it were on fire, as if she were being swept up in something far greater than herself.
By the time they moved to the bed, she was in a fog of desire, unable to differentiate any one sensation, just feeling wave upon wave of pleasure and when Harry finally entered her, it didn't feel like her usual, urgent drive towards release, simply a long-awaited explosion from everything that had been.
Afterwards, she fully expected to be lying awake next to a sleeping man, but instead, he surrounded her with his arms, his legs, his warm breath on her neck as they talked for hours.
“Harry?”
“Umm?”
“I have a confession.” In the dark, she could feel him pull back.
“What's your confession?” His voice edged slightly.
“You know all those case studies we've been reading, about the covert ping-pong ruminations in people's heads?”
“Uh-huh,” he yawned.
“Well, that's me. Every waking hour of the day if I'm not occupied, my mind is like a tiny racket ball court, with the ball bouncing around, never ending unless I do another activity.”
“Does it make you miserable?”
“A little scared, like a person wondering if they're going insane, you know?”
“Remember when we first met in the group and you told Mark off about solutions to this problem not having to do with drugs? Well, you could look into those. I'll help you look into those behavioral solutions.”
She half-smiled, half-yawned. “You remember when I said that?”
He hugged her closer. “I do. I also remember when I first met you, you were nonstop tapping and over-organizing your papers.” He sleepily indicated her messy work area.
They both laughed.
For once, she entered sleep first, a deep unconsciousness filled with Adriana choosing Alice Paul over Sarah Braunstein, then switching back again to Sarah, then Daria and Joe. Waking up well after ten a.m. the next morning and staring at the rumpled, indented pillow where Harry's head had been three hours before, she had to admit her body felt rested beyond belief. Satiated was the word that kept coming to mind, but her confused, overactive mind was another thing all together.
By the time the phone rang, her brain was well into its proverbial run.
“Hey, Babe! Need to see you.” Mike wouldn't take any excuses.
A few feet away from Mike's dressing room, Julius and Steve were head-to-head in a deep conference when Sonia knocked on his door. Inside, he was pacing the room like a Bengal tiger, shoulders hunched, marking his steps with a slow, territorial gait. Seeing her he stopped.
“What's going on, Mike?”
“Pete. The shit's hit the fan since I called you.”
“What about Pete?”
“Seems like Julius made a mistake. Pete wasn't the one who took the money. He's been released and will be back with the band. As a matter of fact, he'll be here tonight.”
“Well, that's just what we wanted, isn't it?” She canvassed his face carefully.
His eyes avoided hers. “Sure, sure it is.” He started taking his guitar out of its case.
“What did you need to see me about?”
When he shrugged, she got up to go. “Stick around, Babe, please. I sure could use your support tonight,” he exclaimed, putting his guitar back and coming over to her. He pulled her to him, a man claiming His Woman, but when he kissed her, she flashed on Peter making an uninvited pass at Sadie.
“So what relative are you here for today, hum?” Sam's question was tinged with a sneer.
“The Andrei chronicles,” Lily answered as he waved them on to their task.
Upstairs Sonia kept thinking of the last time she was there with Lily and Harry. How different it seemed today, interesting, but not as warm and friendly. She started handing Adriana's childhood books over to her mother, marveling at the courage it took her great-great aunt to leave her family and follow such a different path from them.
Lily nodded. “You want different paths, just wait until you read Andrei's stuff.” She took out the boxes, lining them up on a neighboring side table. Then, opening up the box marked
Andrei and Eugenia
, handed over several journals, adding, “In Andrei's journals, you'll see the Bulgarian on top and underneath each line is Adriana's complete translation of his words. Thank God. Otherwise I would have had to spend a fortune on a translator!”
There was a medical release form from Ellis Island and a ticket to the Detroit Auto show, dated 1915. “Take a look,” she smiled.
“Wow! 1915. That's so early. And what's this?” Sonia held up a brochure.
“That's the Ford Model T brochure. Look how detailed it is. See all the different parts?”
“That was mentioned in Adriana's chapter, right?”
“Yes, it was, but here you can see it for yourself. Wild, isn't it? Can you imagine car manufacturers today giving the customer that much information?”
“What's this, Mom?” Sonia was holding up a note written in a floral European hand.
Lily leaned forward. “Oh, that was Andrei's attempt at remembering some English phrases.”
Sonia snickered. “In Detroit, Life is Worth Living? An odd choice, don't you think?”
Lily nodded absent-mindedly. She was viewing a crushed rose in an old English primer book with an English translation of the words, ‘in
memory of better times…
’
The sadness in her face stilled any questions, and once the two women had loaded up the trunk again and moved back down to the den, their mood had turned somber, thoughtful, just in time to see a non-thoughtful Sam refilling his glass with rum and coke.
“You know, Dad. These discoveries are wonderful and they're quite helpful to me.”
He looked dubious. “How so?”
“Well, for one thing, I loved your letters, all about your experience in Vietnam.” The second she mentioned the last word she knew she had made a mistake. One of his cheek muscles began to flinch. “I mean, I know it was bad for you but since you never talk about it, it's the only way I can get an insight into what you had to go through over there. Can't you understand that?”
He sat suspended in his chair for several seconds. “Those letters mentioned events, but didn't dwell on the depth of my feelings.” He watched Lily coming to join them.
“What do you mean, Sam?” she almost whispered.
He took a big swallow. “I don't really want to talk about it.”
“Maybe it's time to do just that, Sam,” Lily half-squawked. “Just talk to us, Sam, please?”
He took a huge swig. “Well, that beautiful, delicate Vietnamese girl with her baby…turning out to be NVA…” He was already transporting.
“NVA?” Sonia broke in.
“North Vietnamese Army.” Sam and Lily were in sync.
“Anyway, that Captain Carbini was a bastard, you know?”
Both Sonia and Lily nodded.
“And when he made me pull the trigger…it just…it just destroyed me…maybe permanently…” His last two words spun out in sobs.
“But honey, that wasn't your fault,” Lily exclaimed.
He jerked away from her. “What would you know about killing someone!”
“Is—is this what it's all about? Me not being there with you?” Lily uttered.
Husband and wife locked onto each other for a couple of seconds. Lily tried again. “Is that why you told me your life was over, with no one to help you, particularly not me?” Crying softly, she began wiping her eyes with the edge of her index finger.
Off to one side, Sonia stayed out of it, watching old wounds playing out.
“Well, I've never forgotten how you called me a coward for trying to get out of the army!”
Sonia suddenly thought of that night so long ago, when her mother had begged her to come over; how Sam had said something so harsh to her. Was this was it was all about?
Tiptoeing out of the room to give them some privacy, she went to the bathroom to reflect. Wow! All these years of non-communication, of unsettled issues. As she started to wash her hands, she pictured all her family members going through the same thing. Rose and Peter leading separate lives, Tony and Daria living on different planets, Adriana, choking on her father's wrath. And now her own parents, too afraid of opening up Pandora's Box. But by the time she had returned, she couldn't help grinning. There they both were, Lily on Sam's lap, leaning into each other, paying her no mind.