Unconditional Love (11 page)

“Um…I was um…” I couldn’t even think straight.
What in the hell is wrong with me?
I was whacking myself off in the shower and now I’m talking to my mother. I reached for a towel and quickly dried off.

“Michael, if you’re with a girl, just call me back.”

I quickly shook my head and wanted out of this conversation. “Mom! For shit’s sake, I’m not with a girl. I was in the shower and I thought you were Azurdee and I didn’t want to miss her call and…”

Oh shit. Fuck me. I’ve just opened up Pandora’s box.

I heard her let out a little squeal and I was pretty sure she clapped her hands. “My oh my. What a beautiful name. Now who is this Azurdee girl? Michael, did you meet her at the wedding yesterday? What does she look like? What does she do for a living? Oh please tell me she doesn’t know you have money, sweetheart. You know how women can be.”

“Mom. Please just stop with the questions,” I said as I ran my hand through my wet hair. I looked down at my poor dick and sighed.

“Well, I’m sorry but that is the first time you’ve mentioned a girl’s name in years. I’m just curious. Can a mother be curious about what is going on in her son’s life?”

“Sure you can, Mom, as long as that son is Tristan and not me. Hey, speaking of, did you know he is dating someone?” I said as I sat down on the bed and let out a small laugh.

“Don’t even try that with me, young man. Come on. Spill it.”

I let out a loud groan and said, “Fine, Mom. If I tell you a little bit about her, will you drop it?”

“Yes.”

I could picture her now with her fingers crossed and a wide smile on her face.

“Azurdee is Jessie’s best friend from college. I met her last year right after Christmas. No, she has no idea how much money I have, nor does she care. She owns a coffee shop in Wimberley, Texas and is fixin’ to open a small restaurant. Her father is filthy rich but she won’t take a dime from her parents. She’s beautiful, with long dark hair and caramel eyes that sparkle in the daylight, she speaks Spanish and we just started…” I trailed off. What did we just start? Fucking? Dating? Could you call it dating when all we’ve done is had sex?

“Michael Lark Williams. You like this girl,” my mother said, with shock pouring out of her voice.

“Well of course I like her, Mother, I’ve…”

“You’ve what?”

“Um…well I’ve um. I’ve ah…it doesn’t matter. There. I told you about her. Now can we drop it?”

She let out a laugh. “You have to bring her down to the ranch. What about Christmas? Tristan is bringing his
friend.
It would be wonderful to have you bring a friend home, Michael. Please say yes.”

“Wait. Tristan is bringing a girl home?” I asked as I quickly put my mother on speakerphone and sent a text to Tristan:

Me: What in the fuck? You’re bringing a girl home for Christmas? Are you out of your damn mind?

Tristan: Yes I am. I’m bringing Ryn home. She’s fun and not looking for anything. Plus it buys me time with mom.

My mother was going on and on about Tristan’s girlfriend. She had no idea that Tristan had been fucking two different girls at once since he couldn’t decide which one he liked better.

Me: What about Liberty? I thought you liked Liberty.

Tristan: I do like Liberty but she keeps talking commitment. Ryn is more of the type who just goes with the flow.

Me: She won’t be once you bring her home to meet the ma and pop. Jesus dude, nothing spells commitment like bringing the girl home to meet the parents. Are you out of your mind?

Tristan: Fuck off Lark and go back to doing what it is you do best, avoiding feelings altogether. At least I’m happy.

I stared at my brother’s last text. “Michael, are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, sorry, Mom. So Tristan is bringing home Ryn, huh?”

“Yes. And oh, honey, it would be amazing if you brought Azurdee home, too.”

I rolled my eyes and said, “Sorry, Mom. That’s not going to happen. I just started um…we’re just taking it one day at a time, so don’t be going and getting your hopes up. I’m perfectly happy with the way my life is going.”

I heard my mother let out a sigh. “Well, if you happen to change your mind.”

“I won’t. Listen, Mom, I need to get dressed. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Tell Dad I said hi and I’ll see y’all a few days before Christmas.”

“Okay darling. Please call me if you need anything, Michael. You know I just want you to be happy. I want you to find love, honey. You deserve it. We will see you soon.”

I dropped my head and barely said, “I know you do, Mom, and I wish I believed that. I’ve got to run, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I hung up and sat there staring down at my phone. I saw that I had four text messages and two voicemails. My heart began beating in my chest as I opened up the text messages.

Not one was from Azurdee. I didn’t know why I felt so disappointed by that. I told her I would call her when I could.

I scrolled through them and they were all Sherry begging for a FaceTime fuck session.

I deleted them all and then went to my voicemail. One from Sherry and one from Scott. I listened to Sherry’s first.

Lark. I need you desperately. Come on baby, call me back and the next time I see you I promise you can fuck my ass and screw me until your dick doesn’t work anymore. I just need you this one time. Baby, please.

My dick jumped at the idea of fucking Sherry in the ass. She had been hinting at it for the last year. I’ve used her vibrator to fuck her ass but she never would let me do it. I went to push the call back button when I stopped. Azurdee’s beautiful face popped into my head. I backed out and hit Scott’s message.

Dude, call me as soon as you can. It’s important.

My heart began beating faster
. Azurdee.
What if something happened to her, and here I was, the asshole almost about to call Sherry.

I panicked and before I knew it, I was dialing Azurdee’s number.

“Hello?”

I let out the breath I was holding when I heard her sweet soft voice.

“Lark? Are you there?” she asked. I could hear noise in the background and wondered where she was.
Was she out with someone?

“Hello? Lark, can you hear me?”

I cleared my throat and said, “Hey, sorry about that. Bad connection I think,” I barely said.

“Is everything okay? You sound like something is wrong.”

“Nah, I’m just really tired,” I said as I slipped on a pair of sweats.

I heard her talking to someone else. “Will you please excuse me, I have to take this call.”

That’s when I heard a male’s voice reply with, “Of course.”

I balled up my fists and instantly wished I hadn’t called her.

The noise slowly faded away as I heard a door open and then shut.

“I’m sorry, I’m at a fundraiser for my father’s company and wouldn’t normally answer the phone but when I saw it was you I…well…I…”

I instantly relaxed and smiled. “You what,
mi amor
? Talk to me.”

She let out a giggle and said, “I feel so foolish, like a high school girl with a massive crush.”

I fell back onto my pillow and pictured the flush covering her cheeks. “Tell me, Azurdee.”

She sucked in a breath and said, “I missed hearing your voice. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to call to just hear your voicemail but I thought that might make me seem like a stalker, so…”

I let out a laugh and said, “Maybe just a little.”

“Is your work done? Are you going to be heading home soon?”

My smile faded and I closed my eyes. She can never find out what it is I do.
Never.

I heard someone talking in the background. “Mom, I’ll be right in, just give me a few more minutes.”

I opened my eyes and asked. “What are you wearing?”

She giggled and said, “What?”

“What. Are. You. Wearing?”

“Um…a black skirt with a white blouse. Why?” Her voice changed and I knew she was already turned on.

I reached down into my sweat pants and began stroking my dick again.

“Is there somewhere you can go and sit down outside?” I asked, and my breathing increased a little.

“There is a little bench next to an oak tree, but…”

“Go sit down, Azurdee.”

I heard her walking. “I’m ah…I’m at the bench.”

“Are you sitting down?” I asked as I slowed down my pace. Just the sound of her voice could push me over the edge.

“I’m standing and leaning against the tree because my heart is pounding.”

I smiled and asked, “Why is your heart pounding?”

She barely whispered, “I’m not sure.”

“Lift up your skirt and slip your hand in your panties, Azurdee, and tell me if you’re wet.”

“Lark…” she whispered.

“Do it for me,
mi amor
.”

She sucked in a breath of air and moaned as she whispered, “Yes.”

“Yes, what? Yes you’re wet, or yes it feels good to touch yourself?”

“Both. Lark, what are you doing to me?”

I began stroking my dick faster. “Azurdee, I want you to make yourself come, baby, while I make myself come. Put your leg on the bench and let me hear how it feels.”

She whispered something I couldn’t understand. “Azurdee?”

“Lark, I’m at a fundraiser, anyone could walk out here at any time.”

“I miss you, Azurdee…I want to hear you come,” I whispered as I slowed down my pace.

I heard her let out a gasp and I knew she had begun touching herself. “Talk to me, Azurdee.”

“Oh God…I feel so…oh…it feels so good.”

I stroked my dick faster as I asked, “What are you doing to yourself, Azurdee?”

Her breathing was beginning to pick up and I knew she was close. “I’m rubbing my …my…I’m touching my clit. Are you…oh God.”

“I’m stroking my dick and the sounds of your moans are pushing me to the edge, Azurdee…I’m so close.”

Then I heard her whimper. “Oh God…Lark…I’m coming. Oh God, I’m coming...”

Two fast pumps and I was coming right along with her. “Fuck,” I hissed through my teeth. “I’m coming, baby…ahh… God I want to be inside you so damn bad.”

“I can’t breathe…oh God. I can’t believe I just did that!” she whispered as I grabbed my towel and wiped myself off. I shook my head and couldn’t believe how incredible that was.

“Jesus, Azurdee. You’re my weakness, I swear,” I said as I tried to get my breathing back under control.

She let out a giggle and whispered, “Um, excuse me, Mr. Williams, I do believe you are my weakness. I can’t stop thinking about you. Dreaming of you making love to me again. I woke up this morning and was touching myself because you were taking me to heaven and back in my dreams.”

I let out a long breath and rolled my eyes into the back of my head. “Azurdee, you can’t say things like that to me or I’m going to make you go home and do this again.”

“Lark…please tell me you’re coming back soon,” she whispered.

“Tomorrow, I’ll be back late tomorrow night.”

She let out a little whimper and said, “Will I be able to see you as soon as you get back?”

Don’t do this, Lark.
“Yes,” I whispered before I could stop myself from saying it.

Guarda mi corazón.

“I mean, if I can make it happen. I’m not sure yet, though,” I closed my eyes and felt like a dick instantly. I wanted to see her more than anything, but I didn’t want her to know that.

Silence. “I see…um…I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Azurdee, wait.”

The line went dead and I slammed my hand onto the bed and yelled out, “Son of a bitch.” I jumped up and ran my hand through my wet hair. I couldn’t believe I just did that to her.

I hit dial and her phone rang twice and went to voicemail. “Fuck!” I yelled out.

I redialed and again, two rings and then to voicemail again. “Come on, Azurdee, answer your damn phone.”

I called her back again and this time it went straight to voicemail. She must have turned off her phone. I sank down onto the bed and all of a sudden I was so damn tired.

I texted Scott and told him I’d call him tomorrow.

I lay there in bed and stared at the ceiling for what seemed like forever. This is exactly why I needed to guard my damn heart. I couldn’t afford to get all tied up emotionally with someone.

Not only could my heart not take it, but also my life depended on it. I slowly gave myself over to sleep.

Guard your heart…always.

I picked up my phone only to see another missed call from Lark. He had texted me late last night to let me know he was home. I knew it was shitty of me to ignore his calls today, but I couldn’t shake the hurt feeling I had when he blew me off the night before last. I had felt so used after he just brushed me off.

I closed my eyes and thought back to the dance we had together at the wedding.

I’m not sure if I can be what you want me to be.

I felt a tear run down my cheek. I knew what I was getting myself into with Lark. The idea of him meeting up with another girl had my stomach turning. I knew he said he wouldn’t do that, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was hiding something from me.

I thought back to my conversation with Jessie earlier this morning.