Twice Shy

Twice

Shy

By

Patrick Freivald

JournalStone

San Francisco

Copyright ©2012 by Patrick Freivald

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or

mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system

without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical

articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel

are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

JournalStone books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

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www.journalstone.com

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views

of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

ISBN:  978-1-936564-50-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-936564-57-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-936564-58-3 (ebook)

Library of Congress Control Number:  2012941730

Printed in the United States of America

JournalStone rev. date: October 26, 2012

Cover Design: Denise Daniel

Cover Art: Philip Renne

Edited By:  Dr. Michael R. Collings

Endorsements

“I’m betting there’s a darned good chance you’ll feel just as at home with Ani as I did. I’ll just say that I adore Ani, and her story often reminded me of my own.”

—
Lisa Morton
—
Bram Stoker Award®
-
winning author of
The Castle of Los Angeles
and
The Halloween Encyclopedia.

"With TWICE SHY, newcomer novelist Patrick Freivald approaches the zombie concept from a brilliant new angle. Teens and adults should take a bite out of this. Inventive, fast-paced and freaky-fun."

—
Jonathan Maberry
—
New York Times
bestselling author of ROT & RUIN and FLESH & BONE

"A compulsively readable and pleasantly different zombie tale, all the way to its pull-no-punches end."

— Kirkus Reviews

Dedication

To The Redhead(tm). You're why I write.

Acknowledgements

To Phil, Mark, Jake, Brooke, Amy, Mom, and all of my beta readers, for the support and for telling me what sucks. To the Mansers and the Wastoids, who might not have many answers, but sure know how to party.

To the reader who gave this book a chance.

You rule.

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Available through your local and online bookseller or at

www.journalstone.com

Chapter 1

Tiffany "Fey" Daniels smoothed the black lace down over her fishnets. "Picture day sucks," she said, tugging the dress down to expose the silver ankh hanging at her waifish neck.

It's worse when you're dead
, Ani thought.

She rolled on blood-red lipstick to avoid answering, blotted it and threw the tissue into the trash. She glanced at Fey. Tiny frame, ghost-pale, black dress, black lipstick, black nail polish, black-dyed hair and too much mascara. In another life they could have been twins. "You look good, Fey." Her tongue stud clicked off her teeth.

Fey sized her up and snorted. "You should eat more." She walked out of the bathroom. Ani turned up her iPod and let
Kill Hannah
drone at her as she finished her makeup. With a sigh for what couldn't be, she stuffed the headphones into her purse. She tromped out after the queen of the Ohneka Falls Upper School emos to join the line of juniors waiting their turns in front of the camera.

*  *  *

A blinding flash and it was done. The photographer turned the monitor so that she could see it. The screen showed a gaunt, pale girl in a long black wig, a nose ring, three rings in her left eyebrow, and innumerable earrings. The black mascara was halloweentacular: a dead-eyed raccoon in a long-sleeved black dress. The woman gave her a doubtful frown. "We can take another..."

"It's fine. Whatever." Ani walked out of the gym as the bell rang.

Trig time
, she thought.
FML
.

*  *  *

She sat in the front of the class so she wouldn't have to look at anyone. 'SOHCAHTOA TEST TOMORROW!' splayed across the assignment board in red dry-erase marker. She copied it into her agenda and practiced breathing, using the beat of her pacemaker to time each inhalation. She felt Mike Brown's gaze burning into her back.

She closed her eyes and saw his, green and dazzling as they played under a sunny sky. She strangled the memory. He was a jock, forever off-limits now that she was condemned to live by her mother's rules. She might as well have moved to another planet.

High heels shredded her reverie. "Nice boots, Cutter. Salvation Army?" Devon Holcomb's murmur was acid. Devon was a senior—athletic, blonde, and popular—everything Ani could have been. Devon gave her a viper's smile as she stalked past and pecked Mike on the cheek, bending low to flash too much leg. Mike flushed and glanced away, and Ani turned to the front of the room as Mr. Gursslin began the lesson. It was review for the kids who didn't pay attention the first time.

She closed her eyes and mentally worked on her most recent secret composition, a poppy dance number to make Ke$ha proud, and blocked out the sounds of flirting from behind her.

*  *  *

She didn't have to work, so her mom gave her a ride home in the Audi. Her mom's athletic frame had suffered a little since her job change, and her curly auburn hair was gray under the dye.
She might be the only school nurse in the world who drives an Audi.
They rode in silence, honoring their unspoken deal. Ani didn't complain about the rules, and Mom didn't complain about the medical practice she had given up to protect her daughter.

Dinner conversation was functional. Her mother ate off of her own plate, and another sat in front of Ani just in case someone dropped by. It all smelled like nothing.

"Did you finish your homework?" her mother asked between bites of chicken salad.

"Yeah. I have a trig test tomorrow, but it'll be easy. I finished English in study hall." She sat with her hands folded in her lap, black fingernails against white skin.

"Work?"

"Not tonight. I'm working five to ten tomorrow." The incense in The Dragon's Lair clung to her clothing, which helped obscure the formaldehyde smell that permeated her skin, and the game store was one of the few places where no one would look twice at an emo girl.

"Good. You should get in the bath." Her mom shoveled another bite into her mouth.

"Mom!" Ani didn't quite stifle the whine.

Her mom set down her fork, patted the corner of her mouth with her napkin, and stood. Ani tried not to roll her eyes as her mother grabbed her head and looked in her mouth. "Your gums are still receding. Formaldehyde doesn't do any good if you're not in it, so if you have down time, you need to be in the bath. We can put on some music. Something you like. I'm working on a new mixture, something that works as well but won't toughen up your flesh so much."

In the end they compromised. Ani watched
Dancing with the Stars
while she wrote out what she had composed in her head earlier in the day, practiced piano on the Baby Grand for forty minutes, and dragged her feet up the stairs to the bathroom. She set the iPod to B.o.B, turned on “Genius,” and cranked the speakers. She took off her clothes and slid into the bath, a slippery mixture of noxious chemicals and crushed ice that would keep her body from decaying any further. She pressed the 'close' button and the hydraulic lid slid into place, pressurizing with a soft hiss.

If they found out she was a zombie, they'd burn her.

Chapter 2

Cold rain sloughed off Ani's umbrella as she waited in the pre-dawn gloom. Trig identities floated through her brain, entwining and interfering with the melodies she was constructing to the falling drumbeat. A low rumble triggered the end of her peace for the day. She opened her eyes and stepped aboard the bright yellow bus.

She shook out the umbrella, closed it, and stepped over the white line. She froze. Mike sat in his old seat. He hadn't sat there since they'd transitioned to the Upper School at the end of 10th grade, a year after she'd died. She tried not to look at him, his perfect eyes, and sat across from him—as she had for eleven years.

"No ride today?" she asked.

She caught the headshake in her peripheral vision. "Senior Picnic. Devon left for Darien Lake an hour ago." He smiled. It was dazzling. "Nice weather for it."

She looked out the window at the drizzle. Anywhere but at him. "They let seniors drive to Six Flags?" In her imagination the yellow VW careened off a bridge and erupted into a fireball on impact. "I wouldn't have guessed that." She looked at him, anxious.

His smile turned timid, almost nervous. Under high cheekbones, his square jaw sported a hint of stubble that he probably didn't need to shave, and his lettered jacket emphasized his muscular frame. The scrawny boy she had played with a lifetime ago was gone, replaced by this man, this stranger that she could never have, never get close to.

"What?" he asked. She realized she'd been staring.

She looked out the window. "Nothing. Just remembering."

He shifted, turning away from her a little bit as the bus stopped. "I wonder..." He cleared his throat. She didn't dare interrupt. "I—"

A shape interposed itself, blocking her view. Fey sat next to her and handed her an ear bud. "Black Rainbow. Totally wretched." Despair and relief warred on Mike's face. Fey glanced across the aisle as Mike looked out the window, then reached up and closed Ani's mouth with a finger. "You're catching flies."

They rode the rest of the way smothered in music as bleak as the weather.

God, I hate this crap,
Ani thought.

*  *  *

By noon the sky had cleared. It looked like the senior picnic wouldn't be a complete disaster. Ani stood outside the cafeteria, trying not to smile as she basked in sunlight through the window. UV rays would damage her skin, and she couldn't just moisturize with aloe. Her mother's injections stimulated some healing, but not enough. Never enough.