Twice in a Lifetime (Carina) (17 page)

Liam was true to his word: he never looked back. She tried phoning him several times before her flight took off, but it always went to voicemail.

When the plane landed in Edinburgh it was pissing with rain, and the night was as cold and dark as her mood. She pulled her jumper over her yellow summer dress before she went to look for a taxi. She hated having to get a taxi but it was the middle of the night so there was no airport shuttle for another few hours and she just wanted her bed. She wanted to take a hot bath and then cry surrounded by everything familiar.

Sarah swung her backpack over her shoulder and made her way through the airport. Waiting outside Immigration was Leslie. Sarah ran to her and threw her arms around her. Leslie wasn’t usually the cuddling type, but she wrapped her arms around Sarah and hugged her back.

“How did you know I was coming in tonight?”

“Your man called your granny and she phoned me. She would have come herself but I couldn’t get her Zimmer frame in the boot.”

Leslie handed her a travel mug full of hot tea. She fully believed all problems were lessened with a nice cuppa. Leslie was a wise woman, so Sarah took a sip. “Thanks for coming to get me.” She felt tears starting to form again but she squeezed her eyes shut.

“Did he hurt you? Because, as God is my witness, I will walk there and rip off his arm and shove it so far up his arse,” Leslie said. And Sarah didn’t doubt it. She was never fiercer than when she was in mama-bear mode. Leslie didn’t often show people she cared, but if you messed with one of hers, you knew all about it.

“No. It was all me. I was stupid.”

“What happened?”

Sarah didn’t want to talk about it but Leslie wouldn’t let it rest. “I happened. He wanted to get married and I just flipped.”

“Like last time. When will these men learn to stop asking you? You do make it clear you don’t want to get married, right?” Leslie asked. She opened the back door to her tiny Fiat and Sarah threw her bag in.

“It’s not like last time. I didn’t love Richard.”

“And you love this one? Don’t want to go marrying a man you love. Can’t have that. Think of what everyone would say.”

“I know. I know. I’m a mess. I really screwed things up. But I did get some really great sex out of it,” Sarah said glumly, trying to look on the bright side.

“Great sex, you love him, and he is rich. I am saying nothing, hen. You hurt enough already.”

And she did.

Leslie dropped her off at her flat, promising to bring the cat around in the morning. But they both knew Dave was probably happier with Leslie—all furry creatures loved her, especially the otherwise feral ones.

Sarah slid the key into the lock. She took a deep breath. It was over. She was home. Sam was safe; she had accomplished what she had set out to do; that was all that mattered. So why did she feel as if she had been kicked in the gut with a steel-toe shoe?

Her flat was freezing. She had turned off the hot water and central heating before she left. The frugal side of her must have known she was going to be gone a while. She put her bag on the counter and went to bed. She missed Liam’s body. He was warm and his arms were strong. She liked the gentle pressure of them wrapped around her; they made her feel safe. Before she could stop herself, she picked up the phone and dialled his number. It went straight to voicemail. She hung up rather than leave a message. She didn’t know what to say that hadn’t already been said.

Liam turned off his phone. He didn’t have the strength to send another call to voicemail. Christ, he missed her. He wondered when that would wear off. He knew he needed to find another woman quick if he hoped to move on, but he couldn’t imagine doing it yet. No one was going to make him laugh the way she did. No woman was going to make him rock hard just by looking at him. No one was Sarah.

But he would get over her. He had before, and he would again. And this time he would not be stupid enough to let her back in. People didn’t change.

He pulled out his laptop and emailed his lawyer to ask him to make arrangements for Sam to be transferred to a rehab centre in Scotland. Sarah wasn’t his problem any more. If she wanted to waste her life looking after Sam, he wasn’t going to stop her.

Finally he was washing his hands of both of them. It had taken ten years, but it was over.

The Bright Horizon Centre was set on forty acres in rural Fife. The landscape was dotted with gentle rolling hills. As far as rehab centres went, this was one of the best. Sam was lucky to get a spot. She didn’t know why he had not gone to the centre in Arizona that Liam had arranged for him, but she was glad Sam was back on Scottish soil.

Sarah was shown to the day room. She had visited the centre before so she said hello to the staff and clients she knew.

“Hey, stranger,” Sarah said. She wrapped her arms around Sam. He looked like hell, even rougher than last time she saw him, which was saying a lot.

“Hello, gorgeous.” Sam held onto a stained mug for dear life, his hands shaking. His fingernails were yellow from nicotine. He had obviously traded in heroin for coffee and nicotine; it was a common substitution. He had a long road ahead of him. But he could do it, if he wanted to enough.

“I missed you, boy. You had me worried.”

Sarah hugged him tighter to her. Thank God he was safe.

“I must have. You even went to see him for me. You must really love me, missus.”

“Of course I love you. But that better be the last time I have to save your ass from a firing squad.” She shook her finger at him. “I was terrified it was the end for you.”

“Ah, Sarah, you should have known better. I am like a bad penny. I will just keep turning up.”

She smiled. “I hope so, but I can’t be involved with your treatment any more. I am too close to you. I love you more than I could love any brother so it is fair to say my judgement may have been clouded. I can be your best friend for as long as you will have me, but you need another drugs worker.”

“You sound like you have been talking to Liam. Where is lover boy?”

Sarah shrugged. “In Dubai, I guess. I haven’t spoken to him for a month.” Three weeks and four days, but she wasn’t counting, and she wasn’t calling any more. Well, that was a lie. She had phoned Gemma to see how he was doing, and his secretary said he was right as rain. Those weren’t her exact words, but near enough. He had got over her. Liam always could do whatever he put his mind to.

“You want him back,” Sam said knowingly.

She shook her head. Sam knew her too well on that score.

“You want him more than I want another hit. He is your drug of choice. Always has been.”

She did not bother denying it. “Well, I abstained from my drug for over a decade and so can you.”

“Nah, you want him bad. Just phone him and tell him you hooked up with me. He will be over like a shot. Idiot would rather die than see us together.”

“I wish that is all it would take. It’s over.” At least she managed to say it without crying. On the inside it felt as if a rabid animal were trying to claw its way out but at least she looked as if she had it together.

“Call him. Tell him you want some Sam bad. He will come a running. Don’t you worry.” Sam laughed. He gave his nipple a squeeze and gave his most seductive look. Ten years and a mouth full of teeth ago, he would have passed as handsome. She never saw it but there were always plenty of lassies willing to drop their drawers for him.

“Is that the best you got? You give shit advice.”

“Shocking! A drug addict with poor judgement.” Sam snickered.

Sarah stopped off at the shops before she went to her granny’s flat. She still refused to move in with Sarah, so Sarah had essentially moved back in with her. She still went home to her flat in Craigmillar every night to sleep, but she took all her meals with Granny. Tonight Granny wanted mince and tatties so Sarah had to stop off for some potatoes.

“Hi, honey, I’m home,” Sarah called as she let herself into her granny’s sixth-floor flat.

“Hen, ya dinnae need to keep comin’ over. I can look after myself. I looked after you all those years.”

“I love you too. Yes, I had a good day, thanks for asking.” Sarah kissed the top of her grandmother’s head. Gladys Campbell had never been a tall woman, but, thanks to osteoporosis, she now barely reached Sarah’s shoulder.

“Of course I love ya, hen. I just know you have better things to do than look after yer gran.”

Actually she didn’t. Her granny was all she had been bothered with since she got home. She had returned to work but she was just going through the motions. She wasn’t even interested in food or chat shows. The only thing that she got excited about was putting Liam’s name into a search engine and hoping something new would pop up. But there was always a moment of dread when a new article appeared—she worried it would mention a girlfriend.

“Call him again, hen,” her granny said as if she had been reading her thoughts.

“I can’t. I have called too many times already. Any more and he will take out a restraining order. Not that he ever answers.”

“Really? He always answers for me. Here, use my phone,” Granny said.

She glared at her grandmother. “Thanks but that is not helpful. You are banned from speaking to him.”

“Ya cannae bar me from speaking to the laddie.”

“Aye, I can,” Sarah said indignantly. But she couldn’t stop her granny from doing anything and they both knew it. “Call him all you like, but if you say his name again I will throw away every lighter in the house. No more fags for you. I mean it.”

Granny shook her head. “Fine, make yourself miserable. It’s your life, hen.”

“Aye, it is. Now sit down and I will put the tea on.”

Sarah put on a pink spotted apron and started peeling potatoes. She heard her granny’s phone ring. Sarah popped her head around the corner to make sure she could reach it, but she had already answered and was chatting away. She could only begin to guess who she was speaking to. Gladys Campbell could not leave the flat without making a new friend.

“Sarah, I need ya, hen.”

Sarah dropped the potato peeler and ran into the living room.

“Take this to the bin for me, would ya?”

Sarah eyed her granny suspiciously. “I thought you were hurt. I will take it down with the rest of the rubbish after we have our tea.”

“It’s leaking. Go on and put it in the big bin out back.”

“It is pouring down. I am not going to make two trips. I will put it in the sink until I leave.”

“Sarah Louise Campbell, you are not too big to take over my knee.”

“Sheesh,” Sarah sighed. She grabbed the bag and headed for the door. She realised when she got to the stairs that she had forgotten an umbrella. Too late—she would just run across the play park. Hopefully she wouldn’t get soaked to the bone in the process. Man, she missed the sun. Almost as much as she missed Liam.

Sarah dashed across the yard. Sitting on the swings was a man so tall he dwarfed the dilapidated structure. His head was down but, from where she stood, he almost looked like Liam. She squinted. The way his white shirt clung to his muscular chest looked a lot like Liam. But Liam was thousands of miles away.

Sarah shook her head. Was this going to be her new thing, thinking she saw Liam everywhere she went? She might as well check herself into Bright Horizon alongside Sam, because that would drive her to drink.

She brushed a piece of wet hair from her eyes and kept walking. The closer she got, the more he looked like Liam. It must be the rain water in her eyes.

And then he smiled.

Sarah’s heart stopped. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She could not move.

“Nice weather,” Liam said. He held up his palm to catch a bit of the downpour.

She still could not speak. There was so much she wanted to say but she had no words. She wet her lips. Was it him? Was he really here in Scotland?

“I can see why you were so desperate to get back.” He grinned and the dimple appeared in his cheek.

“Liam,” she said at last. “You’re home.” She ran to him and threw her arms around his neck.

“Don’t cry, Sarah.”

She wiped her eyes on his wet shirt. He hadn’t dressed for the Scottish weather. He was wearing chinos and a T-shirt. “Of course I am going to cry. You are here.”

Liam ran his hand down her back. “Yes, I am here.”

“What are you doing here?” she asked through gasps of air.

“I came to get what is mine. You’re mine, Sarah. You always have been and you always will be.”

She nodded. She opened her mouth to speak but he stopped her with a raised hand.

“Don’t say anything, Sarah. I love you more than my next breath but you talk a load of rubbish when you are scared. And I know this scares you, the thought that you have to depend on someone for anything. I love how independent you are but you don’t have to do everything alone. You have me—you will always have me. You have had me since I was six years old. There has never been anyone else for me and there never will be. I love you and I need you. I am better with you. I need your optimism. I need your strength. I need you to tell me when I am being an arse. And you need me. You need a man that will love you for ever. You need someone who knows all your crazies and would not change any of them. We need each other, Sarah.”

Sarah nodded. She glanced up to her granny, who was smiling down at them from the sixth floor. She was right. Granny always said Liam would come home. She smiled back and gave a small wave.

“I am not going anywhere without you. I still think Scotland is a hole but my life is shit without you. So if you want to stay here and wallow, we will wallow.” Liam dropped to one knee and produced a small velvet box. “The mistake I made last time was giving you a choice. That is where the other guys went wrong—they asked you. You need telling. Sarah Campbell, you are marrying me.”

She nodded again. She could not speak through the tears. Liam slid the diamond onto her ring finger. “Wow, it is so big. Is it a ring or a weapon?” She laughed.

“It is a reminder that you belong to me. Every time you get worried that I am going to leave, look down at that and remember that if we get divorced you get half my stuff. And I have a lot of stuff.” Liam leaned down and kissed her hard, claiming her. His mouth was hot against hers. After a minute he pulled his head back. “You never said yes. I need to hear the words.”

His face was so serious, so worried. She brushed his cheek with her hand. He was here. Her heart felt impossibly full. She closed her eyes against the torrent of fresh tears. He was here. Finally.

“Yes. Of course, yes. I love you, Liam. I love that you came here, I love that you know I like peanut-butter cheesecake and sunflowers. I love that you get my crazy. I am sorry about that—I panicked. I was so stupid, so epically stupid.” She shook her head and began to cry again.

“Careful—that is my future wife you are talking about.”

His wife
. She smiled until her cheeks hurt. “But I have to tell you this so you know. I love you more than anything. More than this place, more than my cat, more than my job. I just need you. And babies, I need lots of sandy-haired babies. So, yes, I will marry you. And you can build me a house. But not in Australia. I want a house on the beach in Dubai. With a garden for our kids and a granny flat.” Sarah kissed him again. “Please,” she said, remembering her manners.

“I like when you say please.” He grinned before he leaned in and kissed her again.