Her lips parted. She seemed mesmerized by my words.
“She consumed my every waking hour. When I wasn’t with her, I wanted to be.”
“Go on,” she said, stepping closer.
“I couldn’t give her anything, but I wanted to give her everything. I wanted her to marry me.” I was dangerously close to stumbling, falling into a hole I could never climb out of, but I couldn’t seem to stop. “She made me want to be a better man. She made me believe I could accomplish anything.”
“What happened to her?” she whispered.
“I lost her.” My eyes fell to her lips when she moistened them with her tongue. “I was a stupid, jealous kid. I should have trusted her, but I couldn’t. Deep down, I couldn’t believe a woman like that could love someone like me.”
“Do you ever see her… talk to her?”
I turned my back. I hated lying to her, hated the lie I was living. I wanted to break down and tell her everything, but if I did, I’d lose her again.
She walked around me, stopping with our bodies barely touching. “I didn’t know you’d been in love like that before. I thought you’d never really had a monogamous relationship.”
“She was the exception… to everything. There was no one else like her, before or since.” I stroked Maura’s face reverently. “I haven’t felt this way since then. You remind of those days, of the way I felt back then.”
Maura’s lips parted as though she wanted to say something. After a moment’s pause, she said, “I know what you mean. Matt…” She cleared her throat. “He made me feel that way, like he existed for me and me alone.”
I felt frozen. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. For a guy who always had a plan, I was lost in the moment, in her, in the past. “Maybe he did.”
I did.
“A love like that is all-consuming, isn’t it?” She scanned my face as though noticing something she’d never seen before. “That person owns you. You own them. It’s a big responsibility, especially when you’re so young.”
“It is.”
“Do you have any regrets about it?” she asked. “I mean, when you find a love like that when you’re young, sometimes it’s a hard act to follow. You may never meet anyone who makes you feel that way again.”
“I didn’t think I ever would.” I brushed a hair off her face. “I never expected to find you…”
Again.
“But I’m so grateful that I have. I know you don’t want to get in too deep, but I have to say this. I’m not the same man I was before you walked into my life. You’ve changed me. I had a plan, and now that’s changed. Things I thought were important aren’t anymore. The only thing that’s important to me right this second is making you happy.”
Her eyes trailed over my face, my body, as though she was looking right into my soul. She seemed as stunned as I was by a merging we’d never anticipated. “I know what would make me happy right now. You. Inside me.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. I’d never wanted anything more. I needed her, needed to feel that connection that had always make me feel grounded, even when I was hopelessly adrift. “Yes.”
I reached for the tie at the back of her neck. She was wearing a shapeless red sundress and, I now realized, no undergarments. When the scrap of fabric fell to her feet, she was completely bare to me.
“Wow, if I’d known this, I wouldn’t have made it through dinner.” My voice sounded shaky, not at all like me.
“You like?”
“I love.”
She looked startled, but I didn’t give her time to question my words. I crushed her against me, taking her mouth in a bruising kiss. Maybe I was punishing her for making me love her so much that nothing else mattered. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with her again, but I had. Her hold over me was as powerful as it had ever been, maybe more so because I now realized I could travel the world and never find another woman who made me feel
this
.
She wrapped her legs around my waist as I backed us toward the sofa, then gently lay her beneath me. Cupping her full tits, I tasted her, spinning my tongue around her nipples until she lifted her lips, reaching for that elusive connection.
“Blaise… God, I love the way you make me feel.”
I cherished her words, letting them slide over me and heal old wounds I hadn’t even realized were still open and exposed. I could still make her feel. There was still hope we could find our way back to where we’d been before some madman tore our lives apart.
Her body was so soft, so supple, and every stroke reminded me of fine silk. I couldn’t get enough. My hands were everywhere, stroking and provoking her before my finger finally dipped inside her dripping wet channel.
She was thrashing, so I pinned her, forcing her to take the pleasure she craved. I slipped another finger inside, watching with fascination as she let go of her inhibitions and gave herself over to me, to this moment of ecstasy. Hooking my fingers deep inside her, I hit the exact spot that sent her plummeting over the edge to an orgasm that would shake her to the very core.
“Soak my hand,” I growled. “I don’t just want you to come, baby. I want you to burst for me.”
She cried out, sinking her teeth into her lower lip as her nails pierced my shoulder.
“I want you to come so hard you see stars. But not until I tell you to. Got it?” I wanted to build it up and let it recede until she was desperate for release.
“Oh god, I’m there,” she panted. “Just like that. That spot. Oh God.”
“Open your eyes. Look at me.” When she did as she was told, I nipped her lower lip before gliding my tongue over it to soothe the pain. “Hands over your head, angel. Keep them there.”
She groaned, arching her back, thrusting her breast into my waiting mouth.
I lapped at her skin, savoring the scent of it mixed with the musky fragrance of her arousal. “Fuck, I can’t get enough of you. You’re so hot, so sexy.”
“I need to come, Blaise. Oh God, I’m so close.” She tipped her hips up, her eyes glazed as she tried to focus on my face. “Please…”
“Not yet, angel.” I slipped another finger inside, stretching her farther as my thumb whirled around her clit.
The furious pace made her scream as she dug her heels into the couch.
“Fuck, you’re so wet.” My cock was painfully hard, demanding release, but delaying the relief we both needed was sweet torture.
“I’m gonna come…”
I withdrew my fingers abruptly, kissing her neck to distract her from the frustration. “Not yet.”
“Please.” She linked her hands above her head. “I need this. I need you.”
I need you.
Those words set off a firestorm of hunger I couldn’t contain. Thrusting three fingers deep inside her, I pumped hard and fast, the pad of my thumb spinning around the bundle of nerves tied to her pleasure. “Come. Now.”
She cried out, her release tearing through her. I watched the bliss on her face as she reached the pinnacle. Her body was covered in a light sheen, her thighs clenching my hand as though she never wanted to let go. She was thrashing, her tits bouncing, and I was ravenous for a taste of her.
Sliding down her legs, I peeled her lips apart. “Fuck, you’re so perfect.” I swiped my tongue up and down her seam before slipping inside her pussy.
“Blaise, no! I can’t.” She grabbed my shoulders, trying to sit up. “It’s too much. I—”
“Lay down and put your hands above your head. Now!” I lapped at her juices, her flavor bursting on my tongue and making me lose my mind. Pinning her hips, I forced her to endure the erotic onslaught. “You’re gonna come again, baby. In my mouth, around my cock, while you’re sucking me off…” I couldn’t contain the wild yearning building inside me. “I wanna feel your pussy throbbing against my tongue, pulsing so hard you scream and cry and beg for mercy.” Between my words, I tickled her clit with the tip of my tongue, just enough pressure for her to feel it but not enough to take her where she was desperate to go.
“I can’t hold off much longer.” She cupped her breasts, her mouth slipping open. “Fuck.”
“Don’t touch yourself unless I tell you to,” I ordered. “Or I stop. Now.”
“Okay.” Her arms fell back, her hands locking above her head. “Please, don’t stop. Make me come. I want to come again.”
With laser focus, I fixated on her body, listening to every hitch in her breathing, every sigh, moan, and exhalation. My mouth possessed her, manipulating her body, getting inside her head, demanding every bit of her attention. I wanted her world to begin and end with me. “Come.”
It was the word she’d been desperate to hear, and on cue, she exploded like a thunderstorm rolling in, crashing, shaking, and trembling with the force of her release. I softened my approach, giving her the opportunity to catch her breath. I continued to gently lap at her before kissing my way up her body.
“Wow.” She tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a broken sob. “I can’t believe you. You’re… incredible.”
“That was just the beginning, angel.” It was a whispered warning to let her know I wasn’t done with her, not by a long shot. Something about being back here in this place stirred the beast in me, making me remember things I thought my mind had forced me to forget.
She was so wet that my cock slid in with ease, but her pinched expression told me she was tender. I would have to take it slow to avoid overwhelming her. I wanted her crazy, just like I was, but I preferred the slow build.
Distracting her with a fiery kiss allowed the orgasm I wanted her to have to build slowly. My body was fierce and demanding as I tried to rein in the manic thrusts that would send me plummeting too quickly. My cock glided in and out of her in time with my mouth, demanding she give more than she thought she could.
“Oh God.” She tipped her head back as I turned my attention to her neck. “Jesus, Blaise. You’re going to break me.”
“I don’t want to break you.” My voice was a fierce whisper. “I want to own you. I want you to be mine.” I hadn’t said that to a woman since the last time I’d said it to her. I never thought I’d be that desperate to possess a woman again, yet there I was, using my body to demand her complete and total surrender. I drew back to look at her, my eyes fastening on hers as my stiff shaft filled her, reminding her of everything she stood to gain if she gave herself to me. “I’ll give you anything. Everything you want. Just tell me… tell me you’re mine.”
Instead of responding, she clenched my cock, erupting without warning. She wasn’t ready to give herself to me yet. I saw the fear in her eyes, the doubt lurking beyond the passion as she tried to distract herself with physical release. I knew only emotional submission would give her the satisfaction she craved.
She was insulating us in a bubble of growing need I felt helpless to escape. She milked my cock while kissing my neck, silently coaxing me to yield. It was too much, too intense. I couldn’t hold on another second. I flooded her, yet felt compelled to give her more. I wanted to give her all of me. To fill her, surround her, consume her the way she’d consumed me.
When my body was finally lax on top of her, she stroked my back and whispered, “I needed that. I needed you tonight. Thank you.”
Just for tonight?
It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but it was a start. “I meant what I said.” I kissed her gently to punctuate my words. “I want you to be mine.”
She laughed nervously as she tried to claim some space between us. “I’m not even sure I know what that means.”
I rolled onto my side, propping my head in one hand. I tossed the cushions on the back of the sofa aside to give us more room. Maura reached for a throw on the back of the couch, and I was grateful. I’d been so caught up in her I hadn’t even thought about my tattoo. Thankfully I’d kept her too busy to notice.
“Angel, look at me,” I said when she settled in.
She tipped her head up, her eyes traveling up to meet mine. “Yes?”
“I know you’re afraid. I am too. But I don’t want to go back to New York questioning where we stand. I want you. I know you want me too. Let’s just…” I didn’t know what I wanted. Reassurance? A promise she would be waiting for me when I returned? A commitment? “Lay our cards on the table.”
She inhaled deeply as her eyes fell to my chest. “You’re right. It’s only fair.” Her hand rested right above my heart. “I think you’re a great guy, Blaise.”
My gut twisted painfully when I heard the unspoken ‘but’ hanging in the air.
“But I can’t get into another relationship right now. It’s too soon. I’m too raw, too vulnerable. You’d expect more than I could give.”
That was true. I’d expect her to give all of herself to me. I’d refuse to settle for less. “So where does that leave us?”
“I don’t know.” Her hand moved to my shoulder and drifted down my bicep. “Maybe we could just play it by ear, see how we feel when you come back to town.”
I knew I would want her just as much then as I did now. That would never change. “Okay, but…” I had to tell her this, but I wasn’t looking forward to it. “I have something to tell you.”
“Okay?” She frowned. “What is it?”
“I told you I have to return home because of a prior commitment.” I searched for an explanation, knowing there were no words to make this seem as insignificant as it was to me. “It’s a birthday party.”
“Oh?” She looked curious.
I could tell her pride was preventing her from asking who the guest of honor would be. “A girl I’ve been seeing for a while asked me to accompany her to her thirtieth birthday party. It’s no big deal. She asked me a couple of months ago, before I met you and—”
“A girl you’ve been seeing?” Her whole body tensed. “By that you mean a girl you’re sleeping with?”
I tried to put my arm around her, but she pushed it aside. “She’s Malcolm’s daughter. If it were anyone else, I’d tell them I couldn’t make it, but I can’t bail on her. Her father is—”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me.” She sat up, covering her chest with the throw.
I was glad that I was lying on my side, covering the tattoo I didn’t want her to see. “Maura, don’t read too much into this. I just—”
“You’re sleeping with other women.” She stood, tossing the blanket on top of me as she reached for her dress. “Of course you are. I don’t know why I didn’t assume that.”
I could see her throwing up the walls I’d just started tearing down, and it frustrated the hell out of me. I wanted her to trust me, though I’d done nothing to deserve it. I’d never want to share my bed with another woman as long as I had a chance with her. “Baby, I slept with other women, past tense. I haven’t been with anyone else since you and I—”