True Love (52 page)

Dad told me about the clinic in Switzerland. I know exactly what each one of them wants me to do, but I told them
I’ll
decide. I know they mean well, but I’m so mad at them for not talking to me sooner! It’s my body
.

June 8

Talked to Dr. Neely this morning and he explained how my immune system would have to be destroyed before the transplant—three days of radiation and ten days of chemo. The worst part is that I’ll have to go into isolation! Ugh! I don’t like that idea. But isolation will cut down on the risks of secondary infection, he says, which is very dangerous. Only medical staff and my parents can come see me, and everyone will have to be “de-germed” before they can come inside my room. He told me Mom will be my donor
.

He also cautioned me that the transplant may take, or it may not. There are no guarantees that it will work, or that I really will be “cured” of leukemia. Most of the time, a BMT improves a recipient’s life immensely and does produce a cure, but not always. This bothers me. To go through all this torture and have my cancer return would be the nastiest trick life could play on me. But if it works … well, I could dance again. I could be with Jesse
.

Anyway, I’ve got lots to think about. I’ll e-mail Jesse and talk to him about it
.

TO:
Ballerina Girl

Subject:
Transplant

Just get well. I want to hang around with you for the rest of my life.

Jesse

TO:
Melinda

Subject:
Transplant

Isolation? What’s wrong with that? Can I join you? Seriously, friend, I know it’s a big decision, but if the transplant works, then all this medical stuff will be over. That will be a GOOD thing, don’t you think? Besides, if you go off to Geneva, I’ll never see you. Here, I might be able to wave at you through a window!

Bailey

Elana’s Journal

June 11

I talked with a woman today who had been a marrow donor for her brother. She told me what to expect from the procedure. I’ll be under a general anesthetic and doctors will remove a pint or so of my marrow (which the doctor says I won’t miss, because my body will step up production immediately to replenish my supply). They take it from my hip bones, and afterward I’ll be sore, but back on my feet in no time. As soon as they harvest my marrow, they take it to Melinda for infusion. The downside is that I can’t be with her during the infusion, because I’ll still be in recovery. Lenny will hold her hand
.

I asked Dr. Neely if there’s anything I can do to make my marrow “better” for Melinda and he said, “No. You’re not responsible for whether it takes or not, either. It either does or it doesn’t.”

Can I accept knowing my marrow didn’t work if it doesn’t take? That would be very hard for me. Knowing her chances are lowered because I’m not
a “perfect” match is also hard. A sibling would be so much better, but Lenny and I could never have another baby after Melinda. We always wanted more children, but it never happened. Now Melinda’s life is in jeopardy and a brother or sister would be such a blessing. Still, Dr. Neely assures me that unrelated donors help cancer victims all the time. I pray my marrow does the job for her
.

TO:
All Concerned

Subject:
BMT

June 12, noon

Melinda’s decided to go ahead with the transplant. Elana will be her donor and I’ll be around to support both of them. I’d give anything to do more. In a few days Melinda will go into isolation, where they will begin giving her drugs to destroy her immune system. We’re all scared silly.

Lenny

TO:
Ballerina Girl

Subject:
I’m coming!

June 13

Mom and I are coming to Atlanta BEFORE you begin the BMT process. When I came home from work last night, she gave me your dad’s e-mail message and said she has a little money saved up and that she’s going to spend it on the trip. She’s reserved a room for us at a residence-type hotel that’s near the hospital.