True Colours (18 page)

I had a couple of weeks in which to get up the courage to give in my notice to Imogene. Even then I trembled at the thought of telling her face to face. Drew had arranged a meeting with Rosie Sams for a Thursday afternoon for me so that I wouldn’t have to take any time off. He’d also suggested giving in my notice before I went for the interview as it was a foregone conclusion that I’d get the job. When I went in to work on the morning of the interview I took my letter of resignation and put it in Imogene’s in-tray on her desk, hoping she wouldn’t see it until after I had left. I felt really guilty about doing it that way. I’d never done anything as underhand before. I knew I’d have to face her on Friday morning but by then my meeting with Rosie Sams would have taken place and I’d have the prospect of a new job to give me confidence.

At twelve-thirty I left Fantaisie and rushed home to grab a bite to eat and change. At three sharp I was waiting in reception for my meeting with Rosie, my heart drumming and excitement making my stomach churn. At last the telephone on the receptionist’s desk rang and she nodded across at me.

‘Miss Sams will see you now.’ She got up and walked across to open the door for me and I entered on trembling legs.

The office was like something out of a Hollywood film set, all ‘Art Deco’ and ankle deep carpet. Rosie Sams got up from behind her desk, a small petite figure, her dark hair cut in a shining bob. She wore a plain black suit and pristine white shirt.

‘Katie MacEvoy,’ she said holding out her hand for me to shake.
‘How nice to meet you. Please have a seat.’ Sitting down again she took my drawings from a folder and spread them out on the desk. ‘These show a lot of promise. Well done,’ she said. ‘Andrew was insistent that I meet you.’ She looked up. ‘He tells me your ambition is to enter the fashion world one day and I can see that you have the necessary approach.’

Andrew?
For a moment I was puzzled then I realized that she meant Drew. ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘It’s always been my dream and I could hardly believe it when Drew – er – Andrew said you were willing to give me a job.’

She frowned a little. ‘Did he? I’m not sure that he gave you the right impression,’ she said. ‘You understand of course that I do have half a dozen junior designers working for me at the moment.’ She looked at me. ‘They have all studied fashion design at college and are already qualified. Even so they do not earn a fortune as you might think. However, working for me will help them on their way as they move up the ladder. Do you understand?’

I wasn’t sure that I did. What was she trying to tell me? But I nodded anyway.

‘And so you see I couldn’t offer you an actual design place.’

My heart plummeted as the truth struck home. ‘Oh! So, what…?’

‘However, you would be very useful in the workroom,’ she went on. ‘Helping with the making up, alterations, modifications and so on. And of course at our shows where you’d be invaluable doing running repairs and helping the models to make their quick changes.’

A dogsbody. That’s how she saw me! I could have cried. In fact I felt my lower lip beginning to wobble and clamped my teeth over it, swallowing hard. ‘So, would there be room for promotion?’ I asked.

She smiled. ‘Perhaps, if you were to work hard and get some qualifications.’

‘I see.’

‘You’re disappointed?’

‘A bit, yes. There’s no way I could afford to go to college,’ I said. ‘I’m on my own and I have to work for my living.’

‘Well, I’m sure you would gain invaluable experience with us
here and I’m willing to give you a month’s trial if you’d like to accept a job in the workroom.

I stood up. ‘Thank you, Miss Sams but that isn’t what I wanted at all,’ I said as firmly as I could. ‘But thank you for seeing me, and for your offer of a trial, but I’m afraid I have to say no.’ Suddenly remembering my drawings I turned towards her desk. ‘So obviously you’ll have no more interest in these.’ I gathered them up and stuffed them into my bag.

She looked a little taken aback. ‘Of course. Well, thank you for coming in to see me, Katie.’ She got up to shake my hand again. ‘And good luck with whatever you decide to do in the future.’

Outside I stood on the pavement for several minutes, trying to steady the angry thumping of my heart. Drew had sent me here on a wild goose chase. He must have known what the real situation was. Did he really think I’d take a job in the workroom, running around like some kind of lady’s maid after the way he’d buttered me up? He’d insisted I give in my notice first as well. Suddenly my heart almost stopped.
My notice!
The letter of resignation! It was still on Imogene’s desk. Was there a chance, the
slightest
chance that she hadn’t seen it yet? I almost ran to the Underground station and leapt on the first train to Kensington, hoping against hope that I’d be in time.

As I opened the door of the shop I could see that Imogene was engaged with a customer. She glanced at me in surprise and I indicated by mime that I’d left something in the office. Thanking my lucky stars that she was fully occupied I slipped into the office and closed the door. To my dismay I saw at once that the in-tray was empty then I remembered that Imogene had a bad habit of sometimes sweeping her post into the top drawer of her desk to put off dealing with it.

I opened the drawer and began to rummage among the contents. Suddenly I saw my handwriting and grabbed the envelope, but as I did so my fingers touched something hard underneath. I pulled it out and saw that it was a framed photograph lying face downward at the bottom of the drawer. Turning it over, I saw to my surprise that it was a wedding photograph of Imogene and her husband and I vaguely remembered that it had once stood in pride of place on the desk. Imogene looked radiant in it, clearly in love as she gazed
up at the handsome man at her side. I stared down in disbelief at the image. It was
him
– Andrew –
Drew
. So it had all been a cruel con trick all the time! He’d been trying to poach me away from her so as to ruin our chances of success at Fantaisie and I’d fallen for it hook, line and sinker! How could I have been so naïve?

‘Did you find what you were looking for?’

At the sound of Imogene’s voice I quickly closed the drawer and pushed the resignation letter into my pocket. ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘It was just a bill I’d forgotten to pay.’

She threw herself down on her chair. ‘Put the kettle on, Katie, there’s a love. I’m completely knackered.’

I took the kettle through to the kitchen at the back and filled it. When I came back she was pulling the day’s post out of the drawer.

‘I suppose I’d better deal with some of this before I go home,’ she said. ‘By the way, I’ve hired out two more of your wedding dresses this afternoon. At this rate we shall be needing to open that second branch before you know it.’ She smiled up at me. ‘Don’t know what I’d have done without you, Katie MacEvoy,’ she said. ‘I’d have gone under without you. If you ask me you’re a bloody angel in disguise!’

Just as I’d expected, the first couple came back with a better offer. I got the call as I was on my way home from school one rainy evening in late November. It wasn’t quite up to what Rex and I had agreed on so I explained to the agent that I’d have to get my husband’s approval on it. I promised to get back to him as soon as I could and I called Rex that evening. This time he answered his phone almost immediately.

‘Hello, Sophie. You’ve had news?’

‘Yes, another offer from the same couple; a bit better this time.’ I named it and added that in my opinion it was near enough. ‘We’re getting into winter now and the agent says the market will slacken off until spring so maybe we’d be well advised to go with this.’

‘I agree,’ he said. ‘To tell you the truth I can’t wait to get out of this hole I’m living in.’

I remembered his resentful remark about me still living in the comfort of Greenings. ‘Where are you living, Rex?’ I asked. ‘You might as well tell me.’

‘It’s a grotty bedsit in a Leicester back street if you must know,’ he replied. ‘It wouldn’t be so bad if I had to go out to an office each day. Working from home means I’m stuck inside these four walls twenty-four-seven and it’s driving me barmy.’

I felt a pang of guilt. ‘I’m sorry, Rex. But it was you who walked out.’ When he made no reply I added, ‘I expect you’re planning to buy yourself a flat with your half.’

‘I haven’t got any plans?’ he snapped. ‘Have you?’

‘We’ve got the formalities to get through first,’ I reminded him. ‘As we own this house jointly we’ll both have to go to the solicitor’s to sign the papers and so forth.’

‘I suppose we will.’

‘So, I’ll let you know when and where, etcetera.’

‘Thanks very much.’

‘Rex.’

‘Yes?’

‘Look, I’m sorry – about us and everything, I mean.’

‘Right. I’ll hear from you later then. Got to go now, bye.’

I snapped my phone shut with a mixture of exasperation and despair. Clearly he wasn’t going to give an inch.

I’d thought a lot about Fran since our last meeting when she’d told me about her teenage pregnancy. I kept meaning to ring her and Katie to arrange another meeting but what with the house sale and talking to Rex I hadn’t got around to it. As I travelled home from school next afternoon it was high on my list of priorities and I decided to ring Fran as soon as I got home. Even if she wasn’t free to meet up we’d be able to catch up on our news, but what was to follow wiped the intention completely from my mind.

I saw that the red light on the phone was flashing as I closed the front door behind me. There were two messages. The first was from the estate agent asking if the couple who were buying the house, Sarah and John Cooper could come round and discuss fixtures and fittings. The second was from my mother. She sounded fraught.

Sophie, I thought you should know that your father is in hospital. He had a severe heart attack last night and he is in intensive care. Ring me if you want to see him.

With my heart beating fast I lifted the receiver and dialled the number. When she didn’t reply at once I assumed that she must be at the hospital and suddenly I remembered that I didn’t have a mobile number for her. She hadn’t mentioned which hospital Dad was in and I began to panic. They’d think I didn’t care and….

‘Hello.’

‘
Mum
!’ I was breathless with relief. ‘I’ve just got in and found your message about Dad. How is he?’

‘Oh, Sophie!’ She sounded close to tears. ‘I was with him all night
but they sent me home to get some rest. He’s on the critical list; breathing with a ventilator and heavily sedated.’

‘It sounds serious.’

‘It is. Oh, Sophie, I’m so worried. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose him.’

‘Mum, which hospital is he in?’

‘You want to see him?’

I winced at the surprise in her voice. ‘Of
course
I do. Look, wait there and I’ll come and pick you up.’

I hastily rang the agent and explained that my father was ill and I’d get back to him about the Coopers’ visit as soon as I could. Then I rang Rex. To my surprise his phone was switched off. So he must get out sometimes, I told myself wryly. Without waiting to change I ran back out to the car and headed off in the direction of Little Penfold.

Mum looked pale and drawn. She clearly hadn’t slept. In the car she told me what had happened.

‘It was last night. We were getting ready for bed. He’d been complaining all evening of indigestion and then just as I was getting into bed I heard him call out from the bathroom. When I got to him he was slumped on the floor clutching his chest.’ She turned to me, her lips trembling. ‘He was in absolute agony, Sophie. I’m afraid I panicked. I didn’t know what to do so….’ She glanced at me. ‘I rang Rex.’ When I didn’t reply she went on, ‘He’s been so wonderful, Sophie. He couldn’t have done more if he’d been our own son. He took over as soon as I rang him, organizing an ambulance and everything and he came straight over.’

I swallowed hard, resisting the urge to ask why she hadn’t rung me.

She touched my hand on the steering wheel. ‘It was Rex who insisted that I ring you,’ she said quietly. ‘I wanted to but I was afraid you might refuse to come.’

Appalled, I glanced at her. ‘Oh, Mum. I’m so sorry, sorry for all the horrible things I said.’

She patted my hand. ‘No, darling. All forgotten now. Your dad is the main priority at the moment.’

When we arrived at the hospital Rex was already there and it soon became clear that he’d been at Dad’s bedside since Mum had
been sent home to rest. She glanced at him enquiringly but he shook his head.

‘No change I’m afraid, but at least he’s stable. They’re talking about a bypass operation when he’s fit enough.’ He glanced at me and reached for my hand. I took it gratefully. The sight of my dad, his pale face distorted by the ventilator and wires attaching him to the life support machine shocked me. I felt shaken but I knew I had to be strong for Mum. She smiled at Rex.

‘Thank you for staying with him. Why don’t you go and get a cup of coffee now that we’re here?’

He nodded. ‘I won’t be far away. Come and fetch me if you need me.’

We sat beside the bed side by side and after a few minutes Mum reached for my hand.

‘Sophie, there’s so much I need to say to you.’

I shook my head. ‘Not now, Mum.’

‘Yes,
now
,’ she said firmly. ‘There is so much you don’t know. I know that you feel we failed you as parents.’

I winced, remembering things I’d flung at her the last time we met. ‘No, you – you gave me everything.’

‘Except the one thing you longed for – a mum and dad to be with you, to play with you and bond properly. Most of the time we were absent.’

‘It’s all in the past now,’ I insisted.

‘But it spoiled your childhood, Sophie and we are responsible for that. You’ve grown up bitter and resentful. It will never just be in the past.’ She squeezed my hand. ‘Let me at least tell you how it was for us.’

‘Not now, Mum. We’re here for Dad.’

‘And this is what he’d want me to do. When he wakes up I’d love to be able to tell him we’re a family again, the family we always wanted to be.’ She looked at me. ‘I’ll be completely honest with you, Sophie. We never intended to have children. You already know that both of us grew up without parents. Your dad never even knew his. He grew up in a children’s home. Mine died before I was five and my grandmother brought me up.’ She smiled wryly. ‘Rather resentfully if the truth be told. It wasn’t a happy childhood. Neither of us ever had any role models. There was never anyone to teach us
how to be good parents.’ She shook her head. ‘I know that sounds like an excuse but it’s true. When Dad and I met and married we made up our minds that we’d make a success of our lives in spite of the bad start we’d both had. I’d trained as a hairdresser and your dad was good at business. We opened our first salon and after two years, the second. We were on our way. It was hard work. We worked fifteen hours a day, every day and we decided to forego having a family and concentrate on the business.’ She sighed. ‘Then out of the blue you came along.’

‘You didn’t have to go through with the pregnancy,’ I told her. ‘Even back then.’

She looked shocked. ‘I couldn’t have had an abortion. I’ve always hated the very thought of it. It was a shock at first but we thought of it as fate, something that was meant to be. I worked in the salon right through to the end.’

‘You must have been so resentful,’ I put in, but she squeezed my hand again and smiled. ‘No. Maybe in the beginning, a bit, yes. But as the time went by and I felt you move and kick inside me it began to be the most important thing in my life. And when you were born and your dad and I first held you and saw your dear little face we were both completely bowled over.’ She looked into my eyes. ‘We loved you so much, Sophie. Whatever you think, we always loved you. We always will.’

I couldn’t speak but I returned the pressure of her hand in mine and after a moment or two she went on.

‘I stayed at home with you until you were four and believe me, they were the happiest four years of my life. Then things began to go wrong with the business. We lost one of our salons through lack of trade. It was the late seventies and there was a recession going on. Another of the salons began to go downhill and at last we decided that there was nothing else for it but for me to go back to work – take over and manage the failing salon before it fell apart like the first one.’ She peered into my eyes. ‘I made the mistake of thinking that you didn’t need me any more now that you weren’t a baby, that someone else could take my place.’ She sighed. ‘I was so wrong. But it wasn’t just for our future that we worked so hard. It was for yours too. We desperately wanted to build it all back up for you, to give you the privileges that neither of us ever had.’

I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat. ‘
Things
didn’t matter to me though, Mum. I’d rather have had a mum and dad who were there for me.’

‘I know darling, but we had no choice. We’d created standards, a lifestyle that we couldn’t bear to give up. We wanted the best for you. We tried to give you all the things that children like, to make up for not spending time with you. Friends had suggested sending you to boarding school but we couldn’t bear to send you away. And we’ve never believed in private education so you went to the local comp. You did well and we were so proud of you. I always believed you were happy there.’

‘I was.’

‘But not at home – not with us?’

‘All those luxuries – they weren’t important to me,’ I told her. ‘They were just things. When other children talked about their parents – trips, picnics and days out at the seaside I boasted about my TV and video recorder, my pretty bedroom and the clothes other girls would have given their eye teeth for. I quickly came to know that I only had to ask for something and it would be mine. I know I became a horrible spoilt brat.’ I looked at her. ‘And that’s something that has stayed with me. It’s why I wanted Greenings so much and why I resented Rex so much because he wasn’t as keen as I was.’

‘And it was why you were so resentful when we loaned Rex the money to finish it?’ She nodded. ‘I can see that now, but you know, Rex didn’t come to us to ask for a loan,’ she went on. ‘He came to ask our advice. He said he was worried about you. You were doing far too much and he couldn’t help as much as he’d have liked because he needed to work.’ She smiled. ‘He’s a man, darling. He hated the idea that you were earning more than him. It was your dad who suggested giving you both the money to finish the house. Rex said he’d only accept it as a loan and we eventually agreed that it could be paid back without interest once you were on your feet again.’

‘But he did it without consulting me.’

‘Because he knew what you’d say. Dad and I were so upset when we realized how angry you were about it. And devastated to think it had caused a rift between you.’ She looked at me. ‘Rex says
you’ve asked him for a divorce. Is that true?’

‘I asked him if
he
wanted one.’

‘And he said…?’

‘He said it was probably the only thing left for us to agree on.’

‘I think you both know, deep down, that’s not true. You really should talk to each other.’

‘I know.’

She looked towards the bed. ‘Seeing your dad like this makes me realize that nothing is as important as the people we love. I hope and pray that I don’t lose him, Sophie. If you still love Rex don’t let him go without a fight.’

I smiled in spite of myself. ‘We’ve done all the fighting.’

She smiled with me. ‘You know what I mean. Why don’t you go and find him now. He’ll be in the cafêteria downstairs.

I found him sitting over his second cup of coffee. He looked weary. I sat down beside him. ‘Hi there.’

He looked up. ‘Any change?’

I shook my head. Suddenly a huge lump filled my throat and the tears welled up and spilled over. ‘Oh God, Rex, you don’t think he’ll die, do you?’

‘No.’ He reached out and took my hand. ‘I spoke to the doctor last night and he said that the sedation is giving his heart time to rest and heal. Once they let him come round and he can breathe for himself they’re going to do a bypass operation. They have a big success rate for those here.’

I looked up at him. ‘Have you been here since last night?’ He nodded. ‘I don’t know why you’re so good to us,’ I said.

‘Geoff and Maggie are part of my family,’ he said. ‘I’d have done it for my own dad.’

‘Thank you, Rex. Mum and I have had a long talk. A lot of things are clear to me now. I think we understand each other at last.’

He smiled. ‘I’m glad.’

‘I’ve been an utter cow, haven’t I?’

‘You were passionate about the house,’ he said. ‘It meant much more to you than bricks and mortar. And at the time I thought it meant more to you than I did. I didn’t really understand at the time but I can see it now. Oddly enough it was your mum who made me see it.’

‘Rex,’ I whispered after a pause. ‘Are we over? Do you really want a divorce?’