TRAPPED (Breaking Free Book 2) (19 page)

This is pure fear, fear of the unknown and fear of her feelings towards him, this is new territory for Lottie, and I get that she is apprehensive about the future. I just do
n’
t know what to suggest, I do
n’
t want her throwing away a good thing out of misplaced fear. Anything could go wrong at any time, tha
t’
s life, but you never find the good if you do
n’
t take the risks, and I know her heart is a big risk for her, her family trampled it enough when she was growing up.

I hold her gaze as I talk to her, hoping to alleviate some of her tension and worry
.“
Lottie he is
n’
t your Mum and Dad, he is
n’
t going to one day turn on you and leave you to fend for yourself. Relationshipsare always unknown, look at me with Dan, but I would
n’
t have found Hunter without going through what I did. Are you really willing to throw away something that could be the best thing that ever happened to you? Do you not think Harry could feel the same, from what I can work out you and him were similar in previous relationships, but even Hunter appears shocked at how smitten he is with you
.
”

I pause to allow her to sink it in
.“
What happens if you wake up one day and are bored with him, does it not work both ways? And what if you both end up making each other so happy that you spend the rest of your lives together. Could you really turn your back on that possibility?
I’
m scared, but Hunter is a good thing in my life, and as long as i
t’
s good I am not going to take that for granted and throw it away
.
” I end on a deep breath.

She stares off in to space, deep in thought. I just hope she is contemplating what I am saying, and not already made her mind up. I honestly think Harry would be a good thing for her, and from the looks of things he is head over heels.

I could throttle her family for making her so insecure, the only people she has ever opened herself up to are my family, and myself, even that took years for her to fully believe we were not going to up and walk away from her.

I’
m nervous for her, not because
I’
m worried about her being with Harry, but because
I’
m worried she is going to toss him aside and end up hurting herself a million times more than she is right now.

Her hands are ringingin her lap, as she continues to think
.“
I suppose
.
” Comes from her lips so quietly that I almost missed it.

“
Lottie do
n’
t do this
.
” I plead, already knowing I was too late, my words have had no impact and she has already made up her mind.

Her eyes snap to me and she gives me a resigned smile. She knows
I’
m right, but that is having no effect on her decision. The stubbornness of this girl is ridiculous, she is going to cause herself pain by doing something completely irrational.

I watch her gulp
,“I’
ll be back in fifteen, Ijust need to pop down to the concierge
.
” I shake my head, defeated. She is braving herself to end it, I know she is. I can read her like a book.

Harry and Hunter step back in to the room, Harr
y’
s face falling when he notices the tears forming in Lotti
e’
s eyes. God, this is killing me, so I have no idea just how bad this hurting her.

He looks between the pair of us questioningly, and a brief look of panic shows on his face when her voice comes out flat and monotone
.“I’
m sorry harry, I just do
n’
t see us working
.
”

“
Lottie
.
” I call, as I turn to watch my best friend walk away from Harry without so much as waiting for him to speak, completely dismissing him.

“
What
?
” She calls back. She looks between the three of us, her face softening at the pain on Harr
y’
s, but hardening once she spots the looks of shock and pity on mine and Hunte
r’
s, I literally watch the shutters come down and her emotions turn off
,“
Oh come on Connie, he was boring me to death and my survival instinct kicked in
.
”

I look on in astonishment as she continues to walk away. We all follow her, Harr
y’
s face showing nothing but agony. Reaching the bank of elevators she steps inside without glancing back.

Harry appears to snap himself out of his shock as the doors begin to close and speaks loud enough for her to hear
.“
This is
n’
t over Lottie, and you know it
.
”

The final image I get of Lottie before the close doors fully,is her flinching at Harr
y’
s words. God, she is so in love with him, but too scared to be with him.

“
I give up. The woma
n’
s driving me insane
.
” Harry appears utterly heartbroken, and
I’
d bet good money on Lottie feeling exactly the same. I inwardly curse my silly cow of a best friend for throwing a good thing away out of misplaced fear.

We step back in to the apartment, Harry seeming unsure as of what to do. I place my hand on his arm and give him my full attention
.“I’
m sorry Harry. She really does like you, sh
e’
s falling big time. Lottie just has a tendency of steering clear of serious relations, and
I’
m guessing you both got heavy pretty damn quickly and scared the shit out of her, am I right
?
” I already know the answer, if there were no feelings involved, Lottie would still be shacking up with him and bouncing about the room in all her bubbliness.

His eyes drop to the floor, and he scratches his head in thought
.“
If by serious you mean telling her I love her, then yes I did, because I do love her, more than I have ever loved anyone. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. She has been off with me since I told her last night, and I guess I now know why, she clearly does
n’
t love me back
.
” He steps back from me, nodding at Hunter who appears unsure as of what to do
,“
I need to make some calls
.
” And he steps away down the hall.

“
Sh
e’
s scared, she loves you, Iknow she does. Sh
e’
s just so afraid you are going to hurt her. Please do
n’
t give up on her,
I’
ll talk to her
.
” I call after him.

He turns briefly towards me
,“
I know she is, but
I’
m scared too.
I’
m not giving up on her, and the sooner she realises that the better. Does
n’
t mean her saying those words did
n’
t hurt me though
.
” And he turns and walks out of sight.

I breathe a sigh of relief, truly hoping that Lottie lets him in and he sticks around long enough to see it is fear keeping her away from him, not her lack of feelings. Any other man would walk after hearing those words, but Harry is still sticking around. I have never met men like Hunter and Harry, and
I’
m so thankful they came in to mine and Lotti
e’
s lives. We both needed them in different ways, but needed them just as much as the other.

“
Do you want to go and find her
?
” I jump from the hand Hunter presses against my stomach and pulls me to his chest.

If ther
e’
s one thing I know about Lottie, i
t’
s that if I go down there now she will shut me out, and any doubts about her making a wrong decision she will quash out of stubbornness. Tell her she is wrong and she will go against you to prove a point.

“
No, she needs to figure this out on her own for the moment. If I go down there now I will do more harm than good.
I’
ll talk to her in a bit onceshe has calmed down
.
”

And I will as well, if I honestly thought this was what she wanted then I would be by her side, but I know this is the furthest from what she wants, and
I’
m not giving up till she realises that herself, and does something about it.

We all have our demons, and i
t’
s time Lottie faced hers head on.

Hunter:

I left my girl playing with Alex and Lily in Lotti
e’
s front room and went in search of my boy, Harry. In all the years I have known him, he has never uttered th
e‘
I love yo
u
’ words, and as far as I can tell, not even to his own parents.

To find out he has openly told Lottie he loves her is .. wo
w
… I am completely gobsmacked. I did
n’
t know they were this close, but I suppose I have been so wrapped up in Connie, that the outside world, friends included, have sort of been placed on the back burner as of late.

I’
m always there for the people whom I call my family, but they are going to take second place when it comes to my girl, I just need to be more attentive and observant towards them.

I find Harry sat on Lotti
e’
s bed, head in hands, completely unmoving
.“
Mate, you just gonnalet her walk away like that
?
” Harry wo
n’
t appreciate me going soppy on him. When he wants something, he takes it, so the fact he has allowed Lottie to walk out of here like she did is baffling.

His head snaps to look in my direction. The pain in his eyes nearly knocks me back a step, but I pull myself together. Harry needs a kick up the arse, what Lottie said was wrong, but even I could see she did
n’
t mean a single word she said, now to prove to Harry that he needs to fight for her if he truly loves her, cause if he does
n’
t, then letting her go is the right decision.

He heaves a sigh
,“
I do
n’
t think I had a choice, you heard what she said. Wh
y’
d I do it man? To open up to the one person who could use it against me and destroy me, and she does just that. I gave her a loaded gun and she has practically pulled the trigger
.
” He shakes his head and heaves another sigh
,“
I know she has a shitty past, I know I was a playboy, but she was the female version of that too. I ca
n’
t let her go, I just do
n’
t know how
I’
m going to get her to take a chance on me and stay
.
” His voice is a mere whisper, defeat and heartbreak being what I truly hear.

“
You start by going after her, you tell her you love her and that no matter what she says, you are not letting her go unless she truly wants you gone, cause mate, I do
n’
t for one second believe what she just told you, and neither do you
.
” He looks to me with hope in his eyes, as if my words are a lifeline he is clinging to.

He does
n’
t reply, and the silence begins to become a little unnerving, when Harry literally jumps to his feet and pulls himself together before my eyes
,“I’
m a fighter, I never let something go that I want, and fuck me do I want Lottie
.
”

He stands with a silly smile on his face, love hearts practically dancing around in his eyes at the thought of Lottie. God, he looks like a love sick fool, and I cringe at the fact that I probably look exactly the same at the thought of Connie. I would
n’
t change a bloody thing though, even if I do look like a sap.

“
Anyway
,
” Harry snaps himself to the present, giving me his full attention
,“
we have several leads on Dan, but all are coming back dead when we pursue them.
I’
ll give the bloke his due, he covers his tracks well. Either that or he has help
.
” And just like that his personal problems are pushed aside and he dons his work persona.

Put a needle in a haystack and Harry and his team will find it effortlessly, but for some reason Dan is evading them. I ca
n’
t figure out where he could be staying, how he is doing the things he is doing and getting away with them. I
t’
smind boggling, the man is
n’
t a genius, far from it, he seems to be one lucky fucker. His luck has to run out eventually though, and when it does,
I’
ll be there to take him down.

“
So what do we do
?
” I need to nail this fucker.

I jerk forward as Harr
y’
s hand slaps me a few times on the back
.“
Keep doing what yo
u’
re doing. Watch out for Connie, keep the security detail on her, even when you are around, and leave the rest to me. We will get him, I promise you
!
” Harry assures me.

“
Yeah, I suppose. I cannot understand how he has
n’
t been picked up yet, how can he evade you for this amount of time
?
”

Harry darts an irritated glance my way
,“
Mate, we are searching the homes of every friend or family member of his, even work colleagues and friends of friends. He has
n’
t shown at work, he has
n’
t been home, he has avoided his Mu
m’
s, and unless he leaves us a breadcrumb as to his whereabouts, we do
n’
t have a trail to follow
,
” he shakes his head in exasperation, at me or the situation I am unsure of
,“
he is a sly fuck, i
t’
s only a small amount of time before we have him, but until then i
t’
s a process of elimination and putting pressure on people who are likely to see or help him. If you ask me h
e’
s gone in to hiding, he is far too quiet all things considering, now we just need to find out where he is hiding
.
” I get that, I do, and i
t’
s not Harry being unable to find him that has me pissed, i
t’
s more to do with being frustrated that Dan is still out there, and my girl is at risk.

“
Sorry mate, it aintyou,
I’
m just fed up. We both know Dan is
n’
t going to stop until he has Connie, and tha
t’
s what makes this all the more nerve wracking. We do
n’
t know his game plan, or when he is going to strike. I really do appreciate what you are doing though bro
.
” His lips slant in to a teasing smile.

“
Fuck me, is the famous Hunter Jacobson apologising? Surely not
!
” He says on a laugh.

“
Oh piss off,
I’
m not too stubborn to see my comment made me sound like an arse
.
” He laughs again.

“
Mate you are always an arse, an ugly stubborn one at that
.
”

“
Takes one to know one you bell-end
.
” I shoot back.

He bellows a laugh, so loud I ca
n’
t help laughing with him
.“
Really? What are we ten? Well if tha
t’
s how you want to play it, game on! I know you are but what am I
?
” And he ends it with a screwed up face and tongue poked out, aimed in my direction.

A woma
n’
s laugh from the hall grabs our attention, i
t’
s not Connie, and going on the way Harry has just sped from the room, i
t’
s pretty easy to say it has to be Lottie.

I leave them to a much needed discussion, and go and find my girl. The sight of her standing between both of her children, dancing and singing with them is sweet as fuck, and tugs at my heart strings. Wh
o’
d have thought
I’
d be burned so bad, screwed totally over and end up finding the one woman who can turn my cock solid in less than a second flat, but also makes my heart beat wildly in my chest with happiness.

Fuck, I am so whipped!

Alex and Lily spot me, and start screaming at the tops of their lung
s“
A monster, run Mummy
.
” Thinking on the spot, I shoot around the sofa to the right, cutting Alex off and tickling him in the air, dumping him in a heap on the sofa. I turn my attention to Lily, who is running circles around the couch and squealing and giggling as she goes. She reaches the centre, and I vault myself across the sofa, with one arm on the back for leverage and throw her in the air as I catch her off guard, doing the same to her as I did for Alex.

Now for my girl, she is stood beforeboth of her children, who are now cheering her on
.“
Come and get me big boy
.
” She says in a sultry as fuck voice. My cock twitches, hardening from the tone and wink she throws at me.

A huge, teasing grin spreads across her face
,“
Ah, playing dirty are we baby
?
”

Her shoulders shrug
,“
Moi? As if I would ever do that
.
” She says, with a hand raised against her chest in mock shock.

God I love this girl, inside and bloody out.

I stalk towards her, my hungry gaze roaming her sexy as fuck body, as she in turn dodges my advances, tutting beneath her breath and shaking her head at me.

“
Not so fast, little eyes remember
.
” Her voice is shallow and breathy, ultimately giving away that she is just as affected as I am.

My eyes snap to Ale
x’
s, then Lil
y’
s as they stare at the pair of us, with excitement written all over their little faces. 

“
See
.
” Her words draw my attention back to Connie, just in time for me to realise she used my being distracted as an opportunity to draw closer to me and for her to attack me instead
.“
You snooze you lose
.
” She whispers in my ear, forcing a groan to leave the back of my throat from the feel of her soft body pressed against mine.

We tumble to the floor, with Connie ending up straddling my waist, and judging from the heat in her eyes, she has felt the hard on I am sporting just for her.

“
Thought you said you did
n’
t play dirty
?
” I question.

Connie opens her mouth to reply, but her two little cherubs jump on to the pair of us, flattening Connie to my chest and causing all the air to escape my lungs.

A cough escapes my throat, as I somehow manage to flip Connie, Alex and Lily beneath me.

“
Now, who do I tickle first
?
” They all squeal in excitement and attempt to wriggle away. I allow them to think they have evaded me before bringing my hands down to their tummies and ribs and tickling without mercy until they are all begging me to stop.

Crouching back, watching the three breatheerratically, and the odd giggle escape their lips, I ca
n’
t help but wonder how I ever lived before I met them. They have brought so much happiness into my life, so much excitement and joy in such a short space of time, and there is not a hope in hell of anyone tearing them away from me. Not now, not ever.

A thought flits through my mind, one that has been occurring regularly, if only for a brief few seconds, of my girl, carrying our child, a child that will be raised in love, with a brother and sister to look out for it, and a mum and Dad who are so in love. Not what I had with Ash, none of that doing so out of obligation, but adding to this family the right way, out of want.

I shake the thought off, knowing deep down that even the thought of babies is far too soon, I guess part of me craves the baby that I lost, and another craves that bond with my girl.

“
Wha
t’
s wrong
?
” I was so lost in thought, again, that I had
n’
t noticed the Connie sitting up, and the kids getting back to the game. I wonder how long I was sitting here like a plum before she said anything to me.

Pulling her forwards and crushing her lips against mine, I kiss her with everything I am and have to give, showing without words just how much she means to me.

“
Luck, put my Mummy down. Tha
t’
s Lucky
.
” Connie pulls herself away, giggling as we both turn to see Lily stood beside us with her hands on her hips and a disgusted look on her little face.