Authors: Rose Harris
Her mouth still swollen from his kisses, she said, “We both let it get out of hand. I don’t regret it.” On shaky legs that barely held her weight, Ava rushed toward the door, her only escape, stopping at his next words.
“I didn’t mean to say I regret being with you, I just regret the circumstances. You deserve more than just to be fucked against a wall.”
She turned at his crude words. The guilt that stretched across his face shocked her. “Did I ask you to stop? Did I in any way give you the impression I didn’t want to be with you?”
Jace’s quiet “No” did nothing to alleviate the hurt his careless words ignited.
“If I hadn’t wanted you, we wouldn’t have had sex. Do you understand? It would not have happened, so get your head out of your ass and stop treating me like a princess. I don’t regret ever being with you.” Ava took a step toward him.
“You have given me the greatest pleasures of my life. The freedom I felt with you only moments ago was exhilarating.” Reaching up to cup his cheek in a tender embrace, she continued, “You bring out the best in me, and the fact you were able to maintain control of yourself, when I couldn’t, makes you a great man. The truth is when you touch me, I forget everything but you, and that scares me. We could have made a baby, but you stopped yourself. Pulling out is not foolproof, but it could have been more troubling if you didn’t. Thank you for thinking of us, but you need to promise me you won’t regret this night.”
Ava dropped her hand so she could hide the tremor touching him induced. She took a step back to give him some space.
Please don’t regret it. I love you too much for this to be the breaking point.
Ava would have given anything to be able to read Jace’s mind. His chiseled unshaven face was guarded, as she looked deep into his eyes. Eyes that appeared transparent with their flecks of silver that reflected light. The deep blue depths reminded her of lazy days staring in the bright summer sky while lying around by the pool.
So lost in thought, the touch of Jace’s hand against her tender throat brought a wince. “My whiskers rubbed your face and neck raw.”
“I’ll survive.” The feel of his fingers caressing her burning skin was sensual, and Ava’s body began to hum from his proximity.
“I wouldn’t take back tonight. I have wanted you for so long that your presence in my house the last few days has caused me physical pain.” The gentle kiss he dropped against her hair when he pulled her close for an embrace nearly broke all of Ava’s resolve. “I want you to know what we did tonight means a lot to me. Your being here is the only thing making me sane.” Jace’s arms tightened, and Ava slipped her own around his waist. “My life has turned upside down, and you’ve kept me steady. The paternity testing is tomorrow. Part of me wants it over and done, and the other part doesn’t want to find out.”
Ava could feel there was more he needed to say, so she held on tight and waited for him to continue.
“Cal has left three messages on my phone today about setting up a meeting, and part of me wants to meet him, but another feels like I would be letting my dad down.” Dropping another kiss against her temple, Jace stepped back enough so they could make eye contact but not lose their physical connection.
“This isn’t exactly the kind of discussion to have after mind-blowing sex is it?”
The attempt at a joke was so typical Ava had to smile at the absurd relationship they had.
“How many women have you slept with who you could actually tell your troubles to?” Ava questioned without expecting an answer.
When his arms dropped from around her, she felt alone. With his back now toward her, she noticed the tension in his shoulders had returned, along with a few moon-shaped scrapes. Apparently, her nails were longer than she realized. The need to touch the markings warred with her feelings of dejection. She took the safe road and left the brooding man in front of her alone.
With the first step on the stair tread to head toward her room, she felt his hand rest on the small of her back. “The least you could do is let me walk you to your room,” Jace said softly behind her.
The walk of shame to her room, changed somehow and their
familiarity returned. With one hand on the doorknob to her room, Ava turned toward Jace with a simple goodnight. The kiss he gave her rocked her to her toes.
“Just so we’re clear, there’s only been one girl who made me think of forever or who I would consider sharing my troubles with, and I let her slip away because of stupidity. I won’t let it happen again.”
After another soft brushing of lips, Jace opened her door and gently pushed her through the opening.
Jace knew hiding out in his room was childish, but he didn’t know what to say to Ava. The night before he’d taken her like a Neanderthal. Images of her wrapped around his body made him hard, and he didn’t have time to take another cold shower.
When the silence of his house surrounded him, he made his way downstairs and headed straight for the kitchen. The empty cereal bowl in the sink and the half glass of orange juice that sat on the counter caused a now familiar emotion, love, to race through his body. The booster seat had uneaten Cheerios stuck to the plastic, and his messy kitchen looked perfect for a family…his family.
The black granite countertop no longer looked cold but inviting in the expansive room. The Brazilian cherry floors that had always had the perfect sheen now had skid marks that looked remarkably like the wheel tracks of Ashlyn’s favorite baby-doll stroller. The normally polished stainless steel appliances now had fingerprints two feet above the floor, and they made his heart swell with pride knowing a chubby-faced cherub had put them there.
The reality was he had to make sure he was the man for Ava and the perfect father for Ashlyn. The nagging sense he might be Ashlyn’s biological father had started on Sunday when he’d been carting the toddler around on his shoulder and caught their reflection in the foyer mirror.
The striking resemblance of their eyes had momentarily stopped him in his tracks. The only thing he couldn’t comprehend was why Ava would keep this secret. She hadn’t let on that he was the father, and he was gearing up to question her about his suspicions, but he had to clear this other paternity issue up first and deal with the unexpected appearance of Cal.
What stability can I offer her with all this hanging over my head: the possibility of a child I never knew about, a woman I was too drunk to remember, a long-lost father beating down my door and a career that could be over with one bad sack?
Looking around, he knew it wasn’t the discarded objects that made it feel homey. It was the woman he was sharing it with. He knew deep down she would stand by his side. He just had to clear up the open-ended issues, one by one.
Jace grabbed his keys off the counter and downed the last of the orange juice left in the cup. He headed to get his morning drills out of the way before he had his paternity test that afternoon.
Jace arrived at the training camp with only enough time to change into his workout clothes and exchange a hurried greeting with his fellow teammates. The arrival of the newest players had the veterans buzzing with dread and anticipation. There was not a single man standing in the confines of the locker room or out on the field who didn’t feel he deserved his spot on the team.
Every year was the same. The rookies stood by acting cocky but inside were quivering with anticipation. Jace could still feel what they were going through. He’d come out as a first-round pick and had been drafted to the team with the worst record the previous season. The pressure had engulfed him, and he’d had to prove his importance to the struggling team, not to step on the veterans’ toes but to make his own name. The fact was his first year he’d ended up being the backup quarterback, but his determination to be the best of the best had him going out daily busting his ass. He’d fought to get the coveted starting position, but it took a stroke of luck and a career-ending injury for the starter to make his dreams a reality.
Jace put his left foot on the bench to secure the lace on his cleats and noticed his backups had the same look in their eyes. He knew without a doubt, when the time came, they would toss him under the bus for his position. Ironically, he held no ill feelings toward them. Football was football.
You play to win, and you only get to play if your name is called
.
After a casual nod toward the rookie who had shown up only yesterday for his first practice with the team, Jace made his way onto the field to take in the green grass mowed at just the right height and the excitement for another year of doing what he loved.
****
The pain and physical exhaustion associated with football was part of the game. The need to put ice on his shoulder made him curse the traffic. He just wanted to be home, not on his way to a doctor’s office for paternity testing. Whoever said southerners were polite had never driven in rush hour traffic in Nashville. He would have loved to give a couple of inpatient drivers the one finger salute, but his publicist would have his ass.
The press was always around when they ended their minicamp sessions, but the personal questions were becoming ridiculous. The ache in his shoulder had him snapping at a couple of guys who always treated him well. He’d have to apologize tomorrow for his behavior so they didn’t started badgering him like the other slime balls.
The excitement over the picture in the Sunday paper had died down when news broke of a popular baseball player’s juicing habit. The photo hounds were still hot on his heels, but his name no longer blasted from every sports channel. Unfortunately, the few who held out for some dirt had him on edge.
When his exit came up on the right, he took the turn a little faster than he would have liked and almost cut a poor old man off.
Shit, this is not my day
.
Throwing up a hand to alleviate the annoyance of the other driver, he stretched his tender shoulder and cussed some more.
After parking his car, Jace downed two ibuprofen with the last of his Gatorade. The medical building loomed ahead in the spring afternoon. With one last deep breath, Jace exited his silver Mercedes. Every step took him closer to a life-altering test, and he said a silent prayer the truth would come out and he could move forward with his life. A second prayer sent up was for Ava and Ashlyn; he needed them to be his future.
****
The ringing of the phone caught Ava off-guard, and she jumped. Jace had silenced the phones throughout the house recently, so the ringing sounded foreign in the large family room. For the last hour, she had played numerous games with her daughter, and not once had there been any noises in the house.
Ava grabbed the closest phone, not even thinking twice about who might be on the other end. “Hello, Johnson residence.”
The sickeningly sweet voice that responded back was even more surprising than the sound of the phone had been. The voice belonged to the one and only Carmen Lopez, and Ava had seen enough of her movies to recognize the saccharine that oozed from every word the woman spoke. “Hi, sweetie, is Jace there?”
The need to hang up and squeal like a teenager fought with the unexplainable urge to hang up and cuss like a sailor. “I’m sorry he’s not in right now. May I take a message?” Ava questioned with polite southern girl charm.
“Sure, just tell him Carmen called. He has my number. Bye, sweets.”
Ava hung up the phone and stood there staring at the offending object with both love and hate. The fact that she’d spoken to one of the up-and-coming Hollywood starlets should have her jumping for joy and calling Roxi to tell her about her encounter with a real celebrity. The other part, the evil side of her, wanted to pretend the call never happened and conveniently lose the message.
What right do you have to hide his messages? One romp around his gym doesn’t give you the right or the privilege to question his friends
.
Ava rushed back to keep an eye on Ash with pen and paper in hand. She then wrote the message down with the efficient manner that had been engrained in her at the law office.
It turned out it was a good thing she’d brought the note pad out to the family room; the phone didn’t stop ringing. The messages ranged from football players she caught glimpses of on the television to family and friends. The last call that came in before Jace’s arrival home shocked her more than the one from Carmen and upset her more than she’d ever imagined a phone call could.
****
Six thirty and Jace finally made it. His normally quiet home now bustled with activity. Entering from the door of the garage that led into his kitchen, he watched Ashlyn as she sat in her pink booster seat, spaghetti covering her mouth and chin. Squashed remnants of noodles hung from the edge of the table and chair.
Ava stood at the sink rinsing a dishrag with a harried expression that seemed strange since she normally looked so serene. She must have had a bad day.
I think I can make her feel better.
Taking one step into the room, he stopped short when Ashlyn cried out, “Daddy.”
Stunned by the greeting, he stopped in his tracks. Glancing at an embarrassed Ava and then to the excited spaghetti covered princess, Jace had the feeling of truly coming home and being where he belonged for the first time in a long while.
Going directly to the precocious toddler, he dropped a kiss on the outstretched hand that was eagerly reaching for him and tasted wonderful marinara sauce. “Hey, pretty girl. You taste almost as sweet as you look.”
The giggles that escaped the pint-sized angel warmed his heart.
He turned toward a startled Ava. “I always thought you fed kids through their mouths. If you throw that dishrag over, I’ll wipe her off.”
The words she wanted to say obviously were struggling to get out, but after a moment of stumbling around herself, she responded, “I can get her. I’m sure you’ve had a long day.”
“So have you, and I’ve got no problem helping out.” Watching her approach with the striped dishtowel in one hand and a plate of spaghetti in the other, she looked more like the help than the woman he was going to marry.
Marry? What the hell are you thinking? You just realized you love her.
The image of her wearing a wedding dress walking toward him in the church had him stammering. “You haven’t eaten yet?”
Holding out the plate of spaghetti, she met his gaze with amusement. “Do you really think I could eat this much? This is for you. I kept a plate warming in the oven.”
Damn this is the perfect woman.
“You don’t have to cook for me, but I appreciate it.” He took the plate with a mountain of spaghetti and meatballs that smelled of oregano and garlic. A golden brown slice of garlic bread lay across the side of the plate with a smattering of butter.
He dropped down in the chair at the table and dug into his home-cooked meal, while watching as Ava wiped off his sleepy girl.
His girl: that sounds good
.
“I can clean up the kitchen, while you give her a bath,” Jace suggested.
“Deal. I have a lot of work to get done tonight.” Ava lifted the marginally cleaner Ashlyn, putting her down but holding on to her little hand. “You had quite a few calls this afternoon. I wrote them all down on a pad of paper from your office and left them in the family room.” The hesitancy in her voice had him worried.
“Anything that seemed important?”
“You got a call from Carmen and some other women who were calling to offer you a better option than the homely girl you were caught kissing.” The way she avoided his eyes proved, no matter how flippant she acted, the rude comments had hurt her feelings.
Jace reached out to her; he pulled her and Ashlyn both to his lap, wrapping a protective arm around her waist and resting his hand on Ashlyn’s tiny back. He nuzzled her cheek, and when she refused to look at him, he gently turned her face so he could make sure she understood what he was about to say.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Anyone who would make any comment about you in a derogatory manner is just jealous. You’re one hot mama.” The hint of a smile that curved the corners of her mouth made his troubles disappear. He did the only thing he could think of, he leaned in and kissed her tender lips.
The tiny hand that patted his head caused a laugh to escape. The moment for a long and lingering kiss was not now, and with a promise of more to come, he pulled back. Brushing the wet curls that covered the toddler’s head, he called her a spoilsport and urged her to get used to it. He planned on kissing her mama for a long time.
“I know you think I was upset about the rude comments, and I was at first, but the truth is no matter what happens between me and you, you’ve given me more than I deserve.”
“You’re my woman, and you will have anything and everything you want within my power.”
“All right, Hercules, I appreciate the offer, but I don’t need anything from you. Except…”
“Except what?”
“Can I set up Ashlyn’s portable bed in another spare room? I think the reason she keeps waking up so much at night is because she’s used to her own room. I’ve noticed she doesn’t budge until I go in and settle in bed.”
“My house is your house. You could always share my room.” Jace wiggled his eyebrows and sent her his legendary boyish grin.
“Not on your life. I may have been easy last night, but I’m not willing to share your bed nightly.”
He would have been upset by her words had she not delivered them with her velvet hand on his cheek and a gently placed kiss on his lips as a departure.
From the moment she stood and walked toward the door, Jace felt lonely.
Dude, she’s only going upstairs.
Disappointed in himself for his girly reaction, he finished his spaghetti before cleaning up the kitchen.