...
Memory spun me around and around, helpless to escape its whirlpool . . .
If I let go of her hand in the darkness . . . A child shouldn't be asked to make such a choice... my mother becoming frantic, putting herself at risk to stay with me ...
/attention/interest/
Suddenly, in the midst of everything that was pulling at me, I felt a presence. There was something here. Something
watching
.
My mother's mind denied it, grew hysterical with fear, tried to flee. I grabbed and held her. She mustn't leave me alone here!
/
curiosity
/
A blinding snarl of images that faded . . . Time slowed in the M'hir, or was it that a mind trapped there could experience more than one sequence of time, live multiple events that had to be squeezed into a consciousness built to remember everything as linear, maddened by what was concurrent? For a brief instant, or many at once, I saw my past as it had happened, and happened, and happened, and happened ... fragmenting into those selves:
One self: passing through the M'hir without incident, arriving at Camos safe and unchanged.
One self: using my strength to keep connected with my mother, somehow finding enough to arrive at Camos safe and unchangedâbut with an awareness of what might have been lost, a desperate need to protect our link.
One self: aware of other life, frightened, but more afraid of losing the precious link. Fighting my mother's fear and hatred of the M'hir, of its life, doing anything to keep her with me. Robbing that life for the strength to arrive at Camos safe and unchangedâbut with the guilt of having forced my mother into that fear, and the dreadful knowledge I'd killed to survive.
One self: aware of something watching, something that sang into my soul, tasted my heart, invaded my dreams . . . /
disappointment/
... I wasn't ready . . . it released its grip, sending me to Camos safe and unchangedâbut unfulfilled.
... a floor appeared beneath my feet and that me, that child, knew only that I'd made it to my new home, feeling shy and hungry.
...
How had I lost all this? What else lay buried in my past?
...
INTERLUDE
Ruti's past hadn't prepared her for any of this: a kitchen under siege by scowling security, drunken spacers, and a friend different than anyone she'd imagined. And now, here was Ansel telling herâjust as her mother hadâthat she had to pack and leave?
“I'm not going. Tell Hom Huido I'll be fineâ”
The old Human shook his head, his face pale but determined. “He knows best, young Ruti. You can come back soon. Well,” he qualified, tossing a second bag to her, “as soon as this is straightened out. Hom Huido has friendsâpowerful friendsâand once they learn what's happened, they'll come in a hurry. Then you'll see Plexis singing a different tune. Not to mention I'm planning to file grievances. Serious grievances. Did you see what they were doing with the cooking wine?”
As Ruti had kept herself as far from the kitchen as possible, she could only shake her head. Unwillingly, she started putting her few things into the first bag, tucking Lara surreptitiously into a pocket. “I don't see why we have to go offstation, if he has these friends. Why can't we justâhide out?”
Ansel blinked at her. “Hide Huido?”
Ruti couldn't help it. Her lips quirked and she almost laughed. “I see your point. Okay. Okay.” Maybe this could work to her advantage, she thought, packing more carefully. Acranam wanted her here, on Plexis; more accurately, what must stay here was one end of the link to her mother. While Ruti didn't care about that, she did care to keep her link intactâand that meant not risking it by trips that might take her too far away. But if she took an air tag and abandoned the Carasian at the first opportunity, Jake would have no option but to take her in. He had to have quarters on the station. He cared about her. She knew he didâ
“Did you hear me?” Ansel must have been talking to her. Ruti blushed and shook her head. “Thought not. Well, you'd better pay attention to everything Hom Huido says to you. I want you to take good care of him.”
“Take care of
him?
” A new concept. She arched a brow at Ansel. “I thought he was taking care of me.”
Ansel looked embarrassed and glanced around as if to be sure no Carasian had snuck up on them. “I worry about him all the time,” he said in a conspiratorial whisper. “He gets himself into trouble so easily. You'll have to watch out. Don't let him get into fights, especially with weapons in a confined space. That's never good. And don't let him near any Scats.”
“He's going to listen to me?” Ruti questioned doubtfully.
A quick smile. “He listens to you in the kitchen. Haven't you noticed? You're a good girl, Ruti, with a level head. That's what he needs. Someone with a level head.”
Ruti tucked this interesting view of herself away, not sure what to make of it, but returned Ansel's smile. For a Human, he was a worthy being. “I'll do my best,” she promised, ducking her head to search in a drawer, adding to herself:
while we're together
,
anyway.
“Do I have time to make a quick call? I was supposed to meet a friend tonight. I should letâher know.”
“Him, you mean.”
She looked up to find Ansel's thin face as grim as she'd ever seen it, his washed-blue eyes sharp on hers. “Don't look so surprised,” he said. “It's my job to watch after Hom Huido. That includes seeing who comes and goes by the service doorsâand who is waiting outside.”
“You spied on me.” She held in her Power, knowing there was nothing to be gained by lashing out at him. “I trusted youâ”
“And we trusted you,” Ansel interrupted, unrepentant. “Do you know who this friend of yours is?”
“Do you?” she countered, half afraid of the answer.
The Human took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “No. Not by name. But there are two things I don't like about your âfriend,' Rutiâand before you start to huff and puff at me, I want you to listen to themâ”
“He's too old?” she challenged. Jake wasn't. He was strong, vibrantâmore alive than any younger males of Ruti's acquaintance. His maturity gave him experience, confidence, the skill she felt from his Power. A considerable skill and strength, for a Human. Enticing.
“No,” Ansel corrected. “I don't mean his age. I don't like the fact that he doesn't come here to see you. That you sneak out to meet him. Why?”
“Heâ”
“Don't try to find an excuse. I know why,” he snapped. “Because he knows we'd recognize him. And that's the second thing I don't like about him. The kitchen staff and I all saw this friend of yours come out of the freezer.”
“The freezer.” Ruti began wondering about Ansel and the cooking wine.
“Some months back, while Huido was away from the station, there was an incident. Sedlyâour old chefâheard banging inside the freezer and called me. We unlocked it together. There'd been someâproblemsâin the freezer already and no one wanted to take chances. Your friend was standing inside, looking furious, and pushed by us all without a word of explanation. How did he get in there? Hmm? By putting himself there, that's how. Teleporting, or whatever your people call it.”
“You think he's Clan?” If Ruti hadn't been so flustered by all this, she would have found this ironic. “Don't you think I'd know? Jaâhe's just a nice Human who's been kind to me. Why is that so hard to imagine? As for how he ended up in the freezerâsounds like a Clan played a trick on him, and not a very safe one. Maybe it was Sira di Sarc herself. She has that kind of Power, doesn't she?”
“If it was Fem Morgan,” Ansel said firmly, “she would have had a good reason. She doesn't play tricks.”
Ruti closed her bag. “It doesn't matter, does it? I'm leaving with Hom Huido. Just give me a minute to call my friend so that he doesn't worry about me while I'm gone. You did say we had to hurry.”
“Give me his name, and I'll put the call through for you. I'm only trying to protect you, Ruti. Believe me.” Angry brown eyes met determined blue ones. Blue won.
Besides, Ruti decided, she had nothing to hide. Neither did Jake. “His name is Jake,” she said proudly. “Jake Caruthers. You won't need to connect through Plexis. He's coded into my com already.”
Ansel didn't react to the name, merely nodded as though memorizing it. He activated the com while Ruti stayed sitting on her bed, bags to either side. The com hissed and popped to itself, then:
This code has been disconnected
.
There is no forwarding code
.
This code has been disconnected
.
There is no
âAnsel drew his hand from the shutoff. “Do you have another code?” he asked gently.
Ruti was already trying in her own way, concentrating on the feel of Jake's mind and throwing all her Power into a sending.
Jake!
Nothing.
“He left with her,” she wailed, uncaring that Ansel had no idea what she was talking about, that he saw the tears spilling down her cheeks. “He left with her!”
Â
The
Claws & Jaws
had been carefully designed to allow its larger-than-most owner access to every room. Access didn't mean extra space. For instance, a Carasian's carapace came close to scraping both walls of the corridors leading to the private apartments and staff quarters, as well as those leading discreetly outside.
Huido rumbled to himself. He would have doubled that width, despite the cost, if he'd known this would happen. Ansel had outdone himself in orchestrating his and Ruti's exit without Wallace's security being the wiser. Until this critical point.
The two Carasians stood, a meter apart, eyes to eyes, without any room to pass one another. The nearest doorway where one could let the other pass was behind Huido. Which was out of the question. Not only were security personnel relaxing in that room, Huido certainly wasn't about to back up from his nephew.
“Why doesn't Huido climb over him?” an impatient voice hissed from behind. Ruti, finally speaking. She'd looked dreadful, eyes and nose red, her bags clutched in both hands. There hadn't been time for explanations. Perhaps she missed the kitchen.
“That's justânot done,” Ansel said quickly.
“We can't stay here like this!”
Huido was open to suggestions.
What he got was a nasty reminder of how the Clan acted for themselves. Before he more than registered the light brush of fingers on his back, Huido found himself staring down an unimpressed exit door instead of an abject and confused Tayno.
Ruti had âported them both to the far end of the hallway.
Huido decided, under the circumstances, he wouldn't worry about his grist. He'd be lucky to ever see his pool and mates again as it was.
Not that he planned to thank Ruti for the experience anytime soon.
Â
Plexis security, with a Carasianâa bad-tempered Carasian at thatâto bring to justice, hadn't taken any chances. A broad area in front of the
Claws
&
Jaws
had been cordoned off to allow space for servo-deployed metal barriers and not one but three grav sleds were parked inside that clearing, carrying such useful equipment as auto-grapples and string-steel nets of the sort more typically found in freighters. Wallace knew who and what he was dealing with.
Or thought he did. Ruti almost grinned as she stood beside the real Huido, surveying the scene on the Turrneds' news monitor. Their exit out the back of the restaurant had been easy enough. Wallace, having believed he knew where his quarry was, had called all the guards from the kitchen to help him. Perhaps he'd suspected Huido wouldn't come quietly.
“What will your nephew do?” Ruti asked curiously. “If they try to take him away, that is?”
A slither of plate over plate as Huido chuckled to himself. “Resist, I hope. But he's likely too soft-shelled for that. Besides, it shouldn't take long for even Wallace to realize his mistake. My nephew is a poor substitute.”
Ruti didn't argue the point. She couldn't tell the two Carasian males apart and sincerely doubted any other humanoid couldâunless it was Huido's infamous blood brother, Captain Morgan, who hadn't appeared before they'd left, despite Jake's confident prediction. So, if Tayno did as promised and didn't answer any questionsâCarasians apparently didn't lie wellâthey might have a considerable period of grace before Wallace figured out he had the right species but the wrong problem.
While she had a problem with another species. Ruti stole a look around, shuddering inwardly as she confirmed all seventeen Turrneds were looking back. Didn't they blink? Their attentive courtesy bordered on horrifying. She wasn't the least convinced they weren't planning to sacrifice her and Huidoâafter a suitable and heartfelt apology, of course.
She and Huido had made their way here with a minimum of fussâwell, at least until they'd broached the back entrance of the Mission. Getting inside where servos off-loaded was one thing; getting both of them through the tiny door into the Mission itself had taken another use of her Power. The Carasian seemed resigned to accepting the inevitable, if not to being gracious about it.
“We're in luck, Ruti,” Huido rumbled quietly, as if sensing her thoughts. He turned and crouched in an awkward position, probably finding it hard to sit properly while festooned with heavy artillery. “Plexis happens to be making its closest approach to Ettler's Planet this standard year. While I'd hoped to go elsewhereâanywhere else, in factâthis will do. A friend of mine keeps property there; a secure place forâunexpected emergencies.”