To Love a Shifter: A Paranormal Romance Boxed Set (73 page)

“It doesn’t matter what you or I think. It’s what I saw.”

He tried to make me look at him, but I struggled, keeping my face turned because I didn’t want to cry. And I would if I looked at him. If I looked at him, I would remember the scene earlier and it would kill me.

Forgive me God of Caros, but I’m one of your most selfish children. I don’t want to share Luka even if he’s in love with another girl.

“How badly hurt are you?” I muttered.

“I think I’m dying.”

My head snapped back, a shocked tortured cry about to come out of my throat.

But it was only a ruse. I knew the moment I saw the hard glint in Luka’s eyes. I growled, but it was too late. Luka had captured me and this time he pulled me even closer and higher, still stronger than I was even in his injured state.

“
Nothing happened between us,
Caylie. I swear it. I swear it on the Brethren, all the stars in the world, on my life—”

My lips trembled. “Don’t lie. I’m not above begging. Please don’t lie about this.”

His eyes darkened. “I’m not. Caylie, whatever you want so I could prove it—I’ll do it. But I swear on our god we’re not.”

He was telling the truth. Oh God of Caros, I could see it in his eyes. He was telling the truth. Relief hit me like a tidal wave and I almost collapsed against Luka. My arms went around him and I wanted to crush him in my embrace.

And when Luka said “That’s a little too tight,” with laughter tingeing his voice, I guessed it was a little too tight and loosened my hold, just a little bit—enough for me to pull away and take a better look at him this time. I couldn’t earlier, not with my gaze totally turning black and red with anger and jealousy.

My eyes started to water when I took in how pale and exhausted he looked. There were scratches on his arms, too, and one on the side of his temple, as if it was meant to gouge his eye out. “Tell me honestly. How badly hurt are you? Is there something else I’m not seeing?” I had heard rumors about certain poisons that were fatal to our kind, but it wasn’t something I had concerned myself with until now.

When Luka started to speak, I instinctively held my breath, telling myself I had to be strong no matter what he said.

“Broken ribs, the scratches you’ve seen, and loss of blood, that’s all.”

I choked out an incredulous laugh. “That’s
all
?”

“I almost died, you know.”

“
Luka
.” If it was his intention to see me cry, he was very much close to succeeding.

“There was a point when I almost lost hope, but then…” He exhaled. “I thought of you and I just couldn’t let go.”

“Luka.” This time he succeeded, this time I cried, the tears that I swore would never fall for Luka trailing down my cheeks. Unable to bear even the smallest distance between us, I hugged him again, not as tightly as I wished but at least close enough I could feel his heartbeat and be assured of it.

Luka murmured my name against my hair.

“Mm…”

“What do you think about calling off the engagement?”

Please God of Caros, let me not break down in front of him. Curling my fist between us, wishing I could capture his heart with it and never let go, I said evenly, “What do
you
think about it?”

“That it’s not doing the job it should and keep you from danger.”

Bullshit,
I thought. I had no doubt Emilia was the one who made him think twice about the validity of our betrothal.

“You should be the one to decide, Luka,” I said finally. “I’ve always thought this was a one-sided agreement.”

“I want to know what
you
want.”

I raised myself on my elbows. “Luka, I want what you want. So if you want to end this so you could be with Emilia Moretti…”

He didn’t answer.

The silence continued, and the hurt inside me festered. I pushed myself away from Luka and was about to get up from his bed when he caught my wrist.

“Don’t go,” he said harshly.

“How can I not when I can see that I’m not the one you want?” I asked brokenly.

His grip tightened around my wrist. “All I want is for you to be safe.”

Bullshit.
This time I said it out loud, not even flinching when Luka scowled in response.

“You want Emilia Moretti,” I hissed, “but for some reason you can’t admit it, not to me or to yourself.” My fists clenched in impotent frustration. “I know you went to the monastery, Luka.” The words came out of nowhere, but the moment I said them I knew it was meant to be. The truth had to be said. Maybe then I could stop hating me and he could…he could stop hurting me, however unintentionally.

Luka jerked at my words.

“I know…I know you went there because you’ve realized you love Emilia and you didn’t want her hurt. I thought of this over and over and…” I closed my eyes because somehow not seeing helped soften the truth and blunt out the pain. “She made you cut me out of your life all those years ago, didn’t she? You didn’t want to, but because you love her and we Caros are notoriously foolishly powerless when we’re in love…you did it.”

Ah, God of Caros, I sounded so pathetic, didn’t I?

I wasn’t sure which of us moved first. I tried to go and Luka tried to stop me. I struggled, he conquered. In the end, I was doomed most by my weakness, the regret that made his face even more beautiful my undoing.

“Caylie, I’m sorry.” Luka whispered it over and over as he rained kisses all over my face, licking my tears dry.

I couldn’t answer, couldn’t speak, couldn’t move—if I made myself think just for one moment I knew I’d completely break down.

Luka hadn’t denied my worst fears, and we Caros had always been taught that silence meant assent.

He pulled me above him, and my body immediately fitted over his, his legs brushing against mine while my most intimate part cradled his erection. But still I tried to avoid his lips as they sought mine.

“Caylie, please,” Luka whispered rawly. “I can’t bear feeling your pain like this.”

Liar. Liar, liar, liar! You bore it fine enough for almost three years.

“How can you love her more than me?” I was without shame and pride once more, forced to beg by the terrible and indelible weakness inside me that only Luka could satiate.

Instead of answering with words, Luka gripped my hair, this time not taking no for an answer. His lips meshed with mine, and he sucked on my lower lip hard, hungrily, insistently until I surrendered with a sob, my lips parting to let him do what we both knew I wanted as well.

My arms wound back around his neck as his tongue mated with mine. His lower body mimicked the movements of his tongue, thrusting, withdrawing then thrusting again, harder and more possessively.

Luka’s lips moved down and I moaned in anticipation when his lips drifted to my neck.

And then…

There it was.

A slight sting and then blood was flowing.

“Excuse me.”

I froze, realizing with shock that someone else was in the room with us. I let out a small moan of embarrassment and tried to pull away, but Luka’s steel-like hold didn’t allow me to move an inch. I felt his tongue touch my neck and I ceased my struggles, realizing that he just didn’t want anyone to see blood in my neck. The stupid part of me thrilled to it. For us Caros, the sight of one’s blood was as intimate as being naked, and I knew Luka would rather kill an entire army than let anyone see me bleeding from a bite.

When Luka finally released me, I hastily scrambled off the bed.

Violet eyes flashed a warning. “Your dress,” Luka bit out.

I bit back another embarrassed moan as I realized that Luka’s roaming hands a while ago had my dress hitched up to the point of exposing my lacy underwear. Pulling the dress back down hurriedly, I schooled my face with an indifferent expression before glancing up.

It was no use.

The unabashed grin on Stefan’s face, combined with Riyu’s raised-eyebrow look of incredulity, was more than enough to make my cheeks heat up.

“The nurses had been worried about the moans coming out from your room,” Riyu said straight-faced.

“And the guards outside your door thought you were under attack,” Stefan continued with a grin.

“His wounds were hurting,” I said weakly.

Stefan’s dark eyes laughed at me. “So you kissed it better?”

I turned a deeper shade of red, realizing that I had set myself up for that one.

“Enough,” Luka said, but even I could hear the smile tugging at his voice.

“I better go,” I mumbled.

Luka’s eyes became hooded. “I see.”

He had no right to look at me like I was abandoning him. I knew that. But after the scare he gave me, after spending over an hour wondering how I’d survive life without Luka, I just couldn’t find it in me to hurt him.

I said gently, “I’m just going to make a call and let my parents know I’m staying longer.”

“I see.” Maybe it was the drugs or sheer exhaustion, but Luka’s usual aloofness was failing him, the relief in his eyes undeniable.

It was enough to make me smile and tease him a little as I bent down and pinched his cheeks impulsively. “Poor baby,” I murmured. “Did you think I’d leave you all alone?”

“Caylie,” Luka growled as Riyu and Stefan laughed.

Outside, the call I made to Catherine was quick and to the point, with neither of my parents putting up a protest when I told them I was determined to stay at the hospital until Luka was discharged. After, I made a quick dash to the boutiques in the lobby, purchasing the essentials I’d need for sleeping over.

“You’re staying over?” was the first thing Luka asked in a surprised voice when I came back with several shopping bags in hand. Riyu and Stefan were nowhere to be found, which I was privately glad about. I wanted more alone time with Luka, especially now.

He was going to leave me sooner or later for Emilia Moretti. I had to take all the memories I could with him while he was still mine.

“How could you think I wouldn’t?” I placed the shopping bags on the extra bed before turning back to him with an impish smile. For now, I was determined to forget that Luka’s heart belonged to someone else and that mine was about to be crushed.