To Catch A Duke (7 page)

Julia glared at him, and he could
see he'd said the wrong thing.
 
"We
discussed this last night, Benjamin.
 
I
will not marry.
 
We both know why.
 
Do not insult me by pretending otherwise, or
spinning pretty lies.
 
After all we have
shared, please, do not do that.
 
In that
way, you shall hurt me.
 
Not other."

Stunned, Benjamin didn't know what
to say.
 
Yes, he'd heard her last night,
but he hadn't really listened.
 
Well, perhaps
some part of him had, because he'd come up with the plan to escort her, and the
idea of her with a man did make him more than a little ill, but marriage?
 
He had assumed she was simply being flighty,
even thought that was the singular thing Julia was not.
 
Of course she would marry one day.
 
Wouldn't she?
 
Given the look of sadness and utter despair in her eyes at the
moment, he was no longer as certain as he had been only moments before.

"You say now that you will not
marry, but surely you do not mean that?"
 
For some reason, Benjamin felt as if he had to know if she truly meant
what she said.
 
He hadn't been listening
before, but he was now.
 
"Julia,
you cannot be serious."

She gave him a pitying look, one
that spoke louder than any words she could utter.
 
"You know that I am.
 
Who would have me?"
 
She
held up a finger when he opened his mouth to speak.
 
"And before you say 'any number of men,' I would ask you to
give me a name.
 
A specific name.
 
Someone who would marry me, bed me, and give
me a family.
 
Someone who would not be
after what little fortune I have or the opportunity to have a piece of the
Candlewood dukedom if Nicholas never marries or sires an heir.
 
You know there is none."

He could not respond to her, for he
did not know what to say.

Julia, however, did.

She pulled off first her glove and
then his, which didn't surprise him, though it should have.
 
This was the Julia he'd known before, not
the meek, mild creature that had appeared in London to take her place.
 
Gently, she placed his hand on her
face.
 
Beneath his fingertips, he could
feel the fine, delicate lines of her scars.

Unable to help himself, he traced
the bottom one to the point where it dipped under her jaw.
 
Even for friends, this was far too intimate,
but he could not help himself.
 
He
simply wanted to feel her skin beneath his.
 
"Julia.
 
Don't."

"You know me better than
anyone, Benjamin."
 
Her voice was
so low that it was barely a whisper.
 
"You have seen these scars for yourself, all of them, and have seen
the way people react to me.
 
You may not
fear these marks, for to you, they are merely a small part of who I am, but
others do.
 
They see only that which is
ugly.
 
And I have no truth to tell them
otherwise."

"You are not ugly."
 
He believed that with all of his heart.
 
Why would she not believe him?
 
"You are beautiful, Julia."
 
His fingers continued down the side of her
neck until he stopped at the hollow of her throat.
 
He was unwilling to go farther, yet, strangely, he found that he
wanted to.
 
He wanted to follow the line
down beneath the bodice of her gown to where it ended just above her
nipple.
 
He wanted to caress her there,
kiss her there.

But he could not.
 
This was Julia, and it was wrong.
 
So wrong.
 
He had just been without a woman for too long.
 
That was all.
 
Still, she
was here beside him, looking at him with a soft light of longing in her eyes,
and he found that he could not look away. Instead, a soft voice whispered
inside of him that it might not be such a terrible thing to stay here with her
forever.

"I am not
beautiful."
 
Her lips were moist
and pink, he noted, and they looked very kissable.
 
"But I could be pretty.
 
To the right man, anyway.
 
I
could also be a good wife.
 
But I will
never get that chance.
 
And I have come
to accept that as my fate."
 
A soft
smile touched those lush, desirable lips.
 
"And despite your belief that you can mold the
ton
to your
will with enough force and fear, you cannot make a man love me.
 
No one can.
 
So no, I will not marry.
 
But I
can enjoy what I have been given at this moment.
 
And that, Benjamin, I shall do.
 
With you by my side."

"Julia, I..."
 
For the first time, the notorious Duke of
Radcliffe was at a loss for words.
 
What
he wanted, he could not have.
 
What he
longed to do - namely kiss her - he knew he could not.
 
Instead, he simply allowed himself to be in
the moment and wondered what came next.

That night at the Clauson's ball,
Julia was beginning to doubt the wisdom of her actions that afternoon.
 
She'd practically dared Benjamin to find her
a husband, even though she'd never precisely said the words.
 
However she knew he was thinking about
it.
 
Quite a bit from the look of
things.
 
He was back to brooding,
something she hadn't seen him do since the summer before at Seldon Park when
he'd been trying to figure out a way to maximize the harvest while not
overtaxing his tenants.

Then there was the matter of their
"almost kiss."
 
They hadn't
kissed in the carriage, of course.
 
She'd come back to her senses before she'd allowed it and pulled away
from his touch, no matter how much she'd longed to remain in that moment with
him.
 
The touch, she reminded herself
now, rather crossly, that she'd initiated by placing his hand on her face,
practically begging him to caress her.
 
Still, when they'd been together in the carriage, something had passed
between them.
 
An awareness that hadn't
been there before.
 
The knowledge,
however tentative, that she was a woman and he was man.

Julia had, of course, always been
aware of Benjamin as a man.
 
Or at least
she had been ever since she'd outgrown the notion that boys had cooties and
were good for something other than climbing trees with.
 
But for his part?
 
She doubted that until this afternoon, he'd truly considered that
she was a woman well out of the schoolroom and firmly on the shelf.
 
Except that now, she'd done the very thing
she'd vowed not to do so many years before.
 
Somehow, a little piece of hope had escaped the confines of her heart
and sprung free.
 
It was there, deep
inside of her, and, whether he was aware of it or not, some part of Benjamin
could see it.

She had unwittingly changed the
rules of their friendship.
 
This would
not end well.
 
For either of them, but
mostly for her.

"Is something wrong, Lady
Julia?
 
Why do you frown so?
 
A beautiful lady like you should be smiling
on an evening such as this."
 
The
voice that interrupted her musings was now familiar and still completely
unwelcome.

She glanced up to see Lord Landover
striding towards her, his deep purple waistcoat almost garish in color, so unlike
the sedate hunter green Benjamin had chosen for the evening.
 
Knowing she should walk away, but also
knowing that it would be rude, she offered a curtsey and then looked for the
quickest escape route but found none.

"My lord, what a
surprise.
 
I did not know you would be
here tonight."
 
That much was
true.
 
If she had, she would not have
come.
 
Though he'd not said more than a
handful of words to her in the park, she did not like or trust him.

"I always know where the most
beautiful of ladies will be each night and make it a point to be in their
vicinity."
 
His gaze strayed to her
scars, she noticed, which included following them down to where they
disappeared beneath the bodice of her pale silver gown.
 
"How could I not seek you out?"

Clenching her hands and wishing
that Benjamin would appear before she did something stupid like hit the man
over the head with her fan, she attempted a bland smile.
 
"You flatter me, sir.
 
I do not deserve such compliments."

"It's only flattery if it is
not true."
 
That was as blatant a
lie as Julia had ever heard, but the man didn't seem to bat an eye at the
falsehood.
 
It was as if he told them
every day.
 
He probably did.
 
"I was hoping that you might grant me
the honor of the next dance, my dear."

Julia wanted to shriek at the
endearment.
 
He did not have permission
to use that term with her.
 
If Nicholas
found out, he would personally draw and quarter the man.
 
She was about to say something, something
she would probably come to regret, when she felt heat behind her.
 
Benjamin.
 
It could be no one else.

"This dance is taken,
Landover," the duke growled, a fierce expression on his face.
 
"And I would like to remind you that
the lady is under my protection as well as that of Lady Berkshire.
 
Do not pester her."

Landover sniffed in distain.
 
"I was merely asking her to
dance."

"And I do not grant
permission."
 
Benjamin was snarling
now, the fierce temper he was known for now on full display.
 
"Now go away and annoy someone
else."

Instead of departing immediately as
any sane person would have done, Landover offered Julia a stiff bow.
 
"My lady.
 
Some other time.
 
I will
not rest until you have seen what I have to offer and you are allowed to make
your own choice."
 
Then he turned
and stalked away, throwing an evil look at Radcliffe as he did so.

When she was certain he was gone,
Julia relaxed a bit, her heart still beating rapidly.
 
Other than his obvious dislike of Benjamin, she could not say why
she didn't like him, only that he left her feeling as if she'd encountered
something distasteful.
 
It was the same
feeling she had when potentially deadly creatures were about back at Seldon
Park, and she did not care for the sensation any better now than she did then.

"Thank you," she said as
she turned around to face Benjamin.
 
"I do not know what I would have done had you not arrived when you
did."

"I'm certain you would have
thought of something."
 
She could
see he was still upset but didn't press him further.
 
He needed another moment or two to calm down.
 
"Would you like to dance?
 
We have not yet done so this
evening."
 
His words were polite,
but she could still see his passion and anger bubbling beneath the
surface.
 
That would not do.

She nodded in agreement, and he led
her to the floor just as the next set was beginning.
 
It was a country dance so they did not touch as they had the
night before during the waltz, but Julia didn't much care.
 
She was dancing with Benjamin.
 
At a ball.
 
And it felt good.
 
Not to mention
that it would do wonders to help ease his temper.
 
Dancing always did.

Although this was only her first
night out with him as her escort, she was well aware that if she were not
careful, the time would slip away and all too soon, it would end.
 
However, she did not want to think of that
now.
 
Instead, she wanted to simply live
in the moment.

Out of the corner of her eye, she
could see a plainly dressed woman watching them intently, a dour look on her
face and her hair scraped back into a severe bun.
 
That must be the chaperone Lady Berkshire had provided, Julia
decided.
 
The stern-looking woman didn't
seem to disapprove of the dance, however, which eased Julia's mind a bit.
 
She knew that her arrangement was highly
unusual, at least for a woman of her advanced age, and only by the sheer grace
of Lady Berkshire was she even at this ball with Benjamin.
 
Then again, considering who she was, it was
unlikely that anyone would care.

Still, she knew she had to be more
careful.
 
This afternoon she had risked
quite a bit talking to Benjamin the way she had, pushing him to touch her,
placing his hand on her face.
 
He might
begin to think that she had ideas.
 
Which she did.
 
But they were
nothing more than silly dreams, desires to be put away for another time.
 
He could never know the truth of how he made
her feel.
 
That would not do.

The last thing Julia wanted was to
guilt the duke into staying with her.
 
She might want him, but not that way.
 
She did have some shreds of pride left, after all.

When the dance brought them back
together, she found that he was watching her closely.
 
"Do not worry so, Lady Julia.
 
Things will be well now."

"If you say so, my
lord."
 
Then she was moving away
from him again, his violet eyes following her as she departed.

When the dance finally ended, he
escorted her off the floor and over to the refreshment table.
 
Neither of them spoke until they both had
glasses of punch and an assortment of sweets on a plate.

"I do not know if I can avoid
Lord Landover forever.
 
Nor do I know
what his fascination is with me."
 
It wasn't the topic Julia really wanted to address, but it had to be
settled.
 
There was no time like the
present, she decided, even if it did make the duke frown again.

"He wants you because you are
with me."
 
Benjamin knew that to be
true and worked to keep his temper in check.
 
"If another man was by your side, you would not be of interest to
him.
 
He seeks to hurt me and intends to
use you to accomplish his goals."

Before she had a chance to reply, a
whirl of pale gold silk and the cloying scent of roses brushed past them,
stopping as if on an afterthought.
 
Once
Julia saw who the person was however, she knew the meeting was no chance
accident.
 
Lady Henrietta Cartwright
stood before them in a shower of jewels, completely inappropriate for a young
debutante, but making her sparkle like the diamond she believed she was, all
the same.

"My lord."
 
She practically sighed the word, her hungry
gaze fastened on the duke as if he were a sweetmeat.
 
"Miss Rosemont."
 
There was clear distain in her voice when she addressed Julia.
 
"I had no idea you would be in
attendance this evening."

"There is a lot of that going
around," Julia muttered under her breath, not that Henrietta paid much
attention.
 
All of her focus was on the
Duke of Radcliffe.
 
Who, Julia had to
admit, looked particularly dashing this evening.

As Henrietta prattled on about
something silly and meaningless, Julia took a moment to really study
Benjamin.
 
For all that she had said
that he did not listen to her, she was not much better.
 
She did not truly see him, either.
 
Oh, she saw the attractive duke, but did she
see the man beneath?
 
At the moment, she
decided she did not, which was a pity because there was much to see and
appreciate.

He was a strikingly handsome
man.
 
There was no question about that,
with his raven black hair and pale complexion, lightened only by those
magnificent violet eyes.
 
Still his
looks alone did not give him that air of chilly distain and thinly veiled anger
than he was noted for possessing.
 
Rather, it was his entire person, taken as a whole.

Broad shoulders tapered down to a
narrow waist, indicating that he worked his body to perfection.
 
Yet she would not call him overly muscular
but rather tightly wound, wiry almost.
 
Yet that, too, failed to capture the true essence of him.

It was more in the way that he
moved, like a panther she'd seen in the zoo, all sleek grace and predatory,
skill mixed with a dash of hunger that could not be denied or contained.
 
He laughed often, but the humor did not
always reach his eyes, other than when he was with her or Nicholas.
 
Those were the things she always saw when
she looked at Benjamin.

Yet tonight, she saw more.

She saw the careful cut and fit of
his evening clothes, indicating that he was wealthy, but that he didn't want to
be ostentatious.
 
She saw the perfectly
knotted cravat that bespoke of good breeding and the jeweled stickpin that
adorned it, the perfect accent without making him appear a fop or a dandy.

His hands were strong, with just a
hint of roughness, indicating that he was not a complete man of leisure,
something that spoke to his character.
 
There was a small scar under his jaw, indicting that he had stories to
tell, things that made him interesting.
 
He was not perfect, though in Julia's eyes, he was nothing less than a
god.

It was his eyes, though, that truly
gave the impression that he was not to be trifled with.
 
They were hard, at least at first glance,
the violet hue so deep sometimes that it was almost amethyst or even plum.
 
Unforgiving, she'd heard them described by a
woman he'd rejected.
 
But if one looked
beneath, the way she was now, there was also pain and a thousand secrets mixed
with intelligence and a sharp with that was almost caustic at times.