“
I’ll remember how I feel when I’m with you right now. I won’t let myself forget.”
“
Ah, my love, tomorrow you will go back to pretending to hate me, but if you can promise to remember just one thing?”
“
What?”
“
Remember what it feels like to be loved by me.”
I felt the wind rush through my hair, caressing my face. How could I ever forget this feeling? “I won’t,” I whispered fiercely.
***
It didn’t take Nadia long to become fully alert. We stopped so she could climb onto Achilles’ back. Her eyes were dull and her smile was not where it should be. I tried to push my worries away. She would be fine after we got her to David and Claudia. At least I hoped so.
“
Are you hungry?” I asked, even though I had nothing to offer her.
“
No.”
“
Thirsty?”
“
No.”
“
Are you ok?”
“
I will be fine.”
I looked at Dominick but he didn’t look worried at all. As soon as my eyes locked with his, my insides turned to mush again. “Are you ok?” I just nodded.
“
Come on, we don’t want anyone to catch up to us.”
On the backs of two warrior vampires, an all day trip only took a few hours. The wall loomed large in front of us, but there were no people around.
“
You have her,” Claudia approached us with relief.
“
We would have been here sooner but Nadia needed us to stop,” Achilles explained in his gruff voice.
It had been terrifying for me to see Nadia in so much pain. I had leaned into Dominick and waited for the worst to pass. Somehow she had managed to sleep on the back of the giant Achilles.
“
Let me see her,” Claudia now demanded. Achilles readily gave up his bundle. David and Marcus both hovered over her shoulder nervously. “Nadia.”
For a brief moment, Nadia’s eyes lit up. “Claudia,” she croaked. “I’m sorry.”
“
There is nothing for you to apologize for.”
“
We shouldn’t have gone for ice cream.”
I heard Claudia’s breath catch and I sank deeper into Dominick’s side. This was all my fault.
“
Why would you think that?” Marcus asked the question as if I had spoken out loud. He must have heard me through Dominick, I frowned.
“
I’m the one that asked her to go. I just wanted to prove that I didn’t have to listen to Dominick.”
Nadia was already shaking her head before I could finish. “This isn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself.”
“
Can we please have these emotional moments elsewhere?” Elizabeth stepped forward. “We will have company soon.”
“
We have secured a shuttle.”
“
We will have to swim a little though.”
“
Are you up to it dear?” Claudia asked Nadia. At her nod, everyone jumped into action.
I took my usual spot while Marcus carried Nadia.
“We’ll have to change her,”
a voice came from nowhere. “What?”
“
Shh.” We were on the other side of the wall where the Sonics would give us away.
“
Kiera will never let us.”
“
She says we are already too large.”
“
David, you must ask her.”
“
She likes you.”
“
She likes you too. You killed Silango.”
“
What are they talking about?”
“
Shh.”
Were they talking about changing Nadia into a vampire? Why would they? She wouldn’t want to be changed, I was sure of that. Would they do it against her will? Before we submerged completely in the water, I glanced at David. His face was set in a mask of rage and anxiety. Not something I was accustomed to seeing on David.
“
Take a deep breath. We’ll be there soon.”
Chapter Forty-One
I fell asleep that night wrapped in Dominick’s arms and woke up eager to get away. He sensed the change in me but I couldn’t hear what he was thinking. Our bond was broken.
“
You’re breakable now,” he cautioned quietly.
I nodded absently, without looking at him. When I finally did look up he was already gone. Sadness crept into the edges of my heart. I wanted to curl back up and cry but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
“
He is evil, vile. Despised among his kind. Dominick Letrell is a friend to no one.”
“
He’s not only evil, he’s kind too,” I whispered. I sighed heavily and pushed myself up. I needed to find David.
“
Eva?” Or David could find me.
“
Yeah? I’m in here.” I heard his footsteps pounding along the metal. “I’m coming.” I didn’t have to go far to meet him, but then again the shuttle wasn’t very big.
“
Hey, you ok?”
“
I’m fine.” I pushed my hair behind my ears. “Where is…everyone else?”
“
In the main hold. How are your wounds?” He made an almost halfhearted attempt to check the places where the captain’s bullets were removed from my leg and shoulder.
“
They’re fine. They healed…fast.” I nodded awkwardly, making my hair fall back into my face.
“
Is Nadia…?” My questions faded into silence. Maybe I didn’t even want to know. If Nadia died; I shuddered at the unwanted thoughts.
“
It’s hard to say.” He looked away, but not before I saw the pain in his face.
I bit my lip, suddenly uncomfortable with all the emotion in the small space between us. “Nadia told me about Sylvia.” I realized as soon as the words were out that this was not a good time, but I was curious. David had never before mentioned his first love. Maybe it was too painful.
“
I…heard.” He half smiled, so I went forward with my questioning.
“
Did you love her? Was all that true?”
He ran a hand through his ragged hair and down his tired face. “I suppose most of it was accurate.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Well?”
“
Sylvia and I were mated for a long time.”
“
She’s dead now.”
“
Yes.”
“
Marcus killed her?”
His eyes tightened. “There is a lot you don’t understand.”
“
Like how you can forgive someone for killing your mate?”
“
Eva.” He swallowed once. “Yes, that is something you wouldn’t understand. Sometimes I forget that you are only human, human accelerated, but human none the less.”
I tried not to compare him to Dominick. Would Dominick have forgiven his brother if he had killed me? “What happened?” Had David even tried to save her? Maybe I didn’t want to know.
“
I wasn’t there the night that Sylvia was killed. We had parted ways years before. By this time, I was already with Neleh.”
“
But you were in love.”
He half snorted. “How did you become such a passionate romantic?”
“
I’m not.”
“
Yes, we were in love but she wanted to search for Claudia.”
“
She wanted to look for her friend. Why is that so bad?”
“
I still harbored a grudge against the Letrell’s. I wanted to be done with them, with the world. Sylvia always wanted to go back to Blakesly House. We argued about it often.”
“
Sylvia’s death is not why you left the Letrell’s?”
He seemed surprised that I would come to that conclusion. “No. But I did love her and when I heard that she was killed and how she was killed…” He stopped talking, looking past me into a different life. “We should go to the others. Nadia is very weak.”
I realized our conversation was over when he mentioned Nadia’s name. I wondered if David would be able to love Nadia as much as she deserved. “Ok.”
“
Come on.” He led the way back to where everyone was huddled. Everyone except one. I was painfully aware of Dominick’s absence.
“
How is she?” I nodded to where Nadia was laid out on a mat.
“
Her breathing is shallow,” Claudia sounded worried.
“
Will she be ok?”
“
I don’t know.” Her words were heavy.
“
Can’t you give her some of your blood? To heal her?”
Marcus was already shaking his head. “She already has vampire blood in her system. Too much without an exchange would kill her.”
“
An exchange.” My mind searched frantically for a conversation I had overheard. “You mean change her?”
“
He didn’t say that.”
“
Will you change her into a vampire to save her?” No one said a word but I knew from Claudia’s tortured expression that she would.
“
It was just a matter of time anyways.”
I shook my head. A matter of time? Maybe Claudia was right, but didn’t Nadia have a choice? What if she would rather die? And what about me? Was it just a matter of time for me too? I pressed my lips together. I already knew what my choice would be.
I knew rather than saw when Dominick came into the hold. Elizabeth danced to his side, with Achilles close at her heels. “We’ll be there in approximately 32 hours,” he announced.
“
Will she live that long?” I asked the question because I was the only one who couldn’t hear what the others were saying.
Eyes darted away from me; no one wanted to tell me. “She’ll live until we get to Blakesly House,” Dominick’s deep voice filled the entire hold, “but then a choice will have to be made.”
“
Change or die?”
“
You are not a child, Eva,” he reprimanded the quiver in my voice. “You know the reality of the situation.”
“
Will she be allowed to choose for herself or will you chose for her?”
“
I have no intention of making any choices for Nadia.” Our eyes met briefly and then he turned on his heels and left.
Visibly shaken, I turned to David for confirmation. He nodded once. I took a deep breath through my nose and let it out slowly. When Nadia moaned softly David was instantly at her side. My shaky legs were able to carry me to the wall where I sank to the floor.
Elizabeth followed Dominick and Achilles followed Elizabeth from the room. I leaned my head back against the wall. I half-way considered slamming my head into the wall. It would certainly make me stop thinking of all the mess that we were in. That Nadia was in. And all because of me. Why did I have to be so bull headed?
I sighed and closed my eyes. Better not knock myself unconscious. Dominick would just come and stop me. I pinched the bridge of my nose. No way would I cry. And no way was I going to lose it. My breath shook when I breathed, but my eyes stayed dry.
It was some time later that I felt someone sit beside me. Elizabeth’s pretty eyes lit up in a tender smile. “Did Dominick make you come over here to see if I was ok?”
Her teeth flashed. “Yes.”
“
I am.”
“
You don’t look so good.”
“
Better than Nadia.”
“
She will be ok,” she shrugged; unconcerned.
“
How can you be so sure?” She shrugged again. “You don’t care about anything,” I snapped.
Her smile was kind. “It must seem that way to you my young friend. But I have learned a lot in my years.”
“
And you think she’ll be alright,” I persisted.
“
I cannot give you false promises my love.”
“
What can you give me?”
She smiled but I couldn’t tell if she was amused or sad. “There will come a time in your life when you will realize what truly matters to you.”
My eyes narrowed. “Are you saying…?”
“
I am saying that to me, an old warrior, the life of one human makes very little difference.” I wanted to be outraged but I wasn’t. Her voice suddenly sounded so ancient. “I already have what matters most to me.” I followed her gaze to where Dominick stood his usual glare in place.
“
Dominick.”
“
I used to think so.” She looked back to me. “Dom used to be my world. He saved me, you know. I am sure you know the story.”
“
Of your father.”
Her intake of breath wasn’t audible to my ears but I noticed that Dominick noticed. “He beat me and raped me nearly every night. I would have died at his hands.” She let her words stop so she could compose herself again. “When Dom first hid himself away, I was devastated.”
“
You got over it though.”
“
I still love him, but you are correct. My heart beats only for Achilles now. As long as we are together, other things in this life don’t matter anymore.” I regarded the fiery beauty sitting next to me with new eyes. I didn’t think she could be so romantic. “Tell me young Eva, what was Neleh like?”