Thursday (Timeless Series #4) (6 page)

“That’ll probably be best.”

***

My photography class just ended and I was walking to the parking lot when Cade came to my side.

“Hey. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

I hadn’t spoken to him since that horrific night in the bar. Actually, I hadn’t thought about him either. “Hey. How are things?”

“They’re okay.” He walked beside me with his hands in his pockets.

“How’s Aaron?”

“He’s back on his feet and going back to school. But he was pretty messed up.”

I can imagine. “I’m glad to hear it.” Cade was the next guy on my list. I thought he was really cute and smart. He had a nice body, the athletic type. I was really into him until recently—when Axel started coming around.

“So, when are we going to go out?” he asked. “Now that the dust has settled.”

I didn’t know how I could make that happen. What kind of friend would I be if I went out on a date with Cade while my best friend stayed home and sulked in silence? I’d probably spend the night, which would make things worse. “I’m not sure but now isn’t the best time.”

“Why not?”

I didn’t want to tell him about Francesca. I wanted to protect her privacy as much as possible. When people asked why she wasn’t in class I said she was sick. “Francesca is really under the weather and I should probably keep an eye on her.”              “But you can’t keep an eye on her all the time, right?” He nudged me in the side playfully.

“I guess not…”

“Then I’ll text you with a time and a place.” He walked with me to my car then stopped at the driver’s door. “I’m thinking dinner—something romantic.”

“That sounds nice.” I wanted to go out with Cade but now Axel was in the back of my mind. I wasn’t going to date Axel. Our relationship already went as far as it would go. A month had come and gone and he didn’t bring up our night together. He got what he wanted out of me and returned to seeing me as his sister’s friend. I needed to make sure I didn’t get sucked into that childhood crush again. “I look forward to it.”

Betrayal

Axel

After weeks of trying, I finally got a hold of that motherfucker.

“You have some serious explaining to do.” It was the first time I called and the phone actually rang. The rest of the time it’d been off.

Hawke was quiet over the phone, taking his time before he finally responded. “I know I do.”

“Then you better get to it.” I fell onto my couch and put my feet on the coffee table. “Because last time I checked you promised me you wouldn’t hurt her.”

“I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I kept that promise.”

“What?” I blurted. “No, it doesn’t seem like you kept that promise at all.”

Hawke held his silence.

“Do you care to explain that?”

“I can’t say. But trust me when I say I did the right thing for her.”

Hawke had been my best friend for years but I still didn’t fully understand him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I love Francesca. I really do. But I can’t be with her.”

“Why?” I demanded. What reason could there possibly be to abandon her like that?

Hawke fell silent.

“You aren’t going to tell me why?”

“It’s between she and I.”

“I don’t think so, pal. You don’t screw with my sister and not expect to be called out for it.”

“Axel, you have every right to be mad. I don’t blame you. I never should have gotten involved with her in the first place. I thought I could make it work with her, and then I was painfully reminded that I couldn’t.” He breathed heavily on the phone. “For what it’s worth, I’m miserable. I’m going through the motions day-by-day but it’s just a blur. Without her…I don’t know who I am anymore.”

“Then come back.”

“Axel…I can’t.”

“She’s a total wreck over here. I can’t even get her to go to class. She just lays in bed all day.”

Hawke didn’t say anything but his hurt seeped through the phone. “Don’t make this worse…”

I never understood their relationship and even after all this time I still didn’t understand it. Whatever secret they shared wasn’t going to come out. Both of them refused to tell me what it was. But it must be pretty compelling because Francesca understood he wasn’t coming back. She didn’t have hopeless fantasies of him returning. She’s accepted the fate like its etched in stone.

“I know this puts us in an awkward position. But I really want to keep your friendship, Axel. You mean a lot to me, more than you know.”

Would I be an ass if I said I still wanted to be his friend? Despite what he did?

“I know you need some time to process what’s going on but I hope to hear from you…when the dust settles.”

I was actually afraid the dust would never settle. Francesca was exactly the same as she was before. She was a zombie that aimlessly walked around the apartment with no clear direction. She still wasn’t eating or going to class. She was…dead.

“Axel?”

Maybe in time I’d be able to let this go. Maybe I wouldn’t. Hawke was my closest friend but Francesca was my sister. She was my family. If I had to choose, I’d always choose her. “We’ll see.”

***

I walked in the door and saw Francesca and Marie sitting on the couch. They were watching a home improvement show, where they purchase houses, fixed them up, and then flip them.

It seemed safe.

“Hey.” I removed my jacket and set it on the chair.

Marie looked at me over the back of the couch. “Hey.”

I came closer and examined Francesca, who was tucked a under a blanket with her eyes barely open. With every passing day she became thinner and thinner, and she was beginning to look unhealthy. “How was your day?”

Francesca ignored me.

When Marie knew Francesca wasn’t going to speak she said something. “I got back a paper from my journalism class. Got an A.” She eyed Francesca, hoping that would motivate Francesca to go back to class.

“Good for you,” I said. “I’m sure you worked hard.”

Marie shrugged.

I sat on the couch beside Francesca and eyed her warily. “Marie, could you give us a second?”

“Sure.” She left the living room and retreated to her bedroom.

When it was just she and I, I spoke. “I talked to Hawke today.”

It was the first time Francesca reacted since I walked through the door. She turned to me slightly, her eyes holding emotion deep within.

“I asked why he left but he wouldn’t tell me. But he said it was the best thing for you…whatever that means.”

She pulled her knees to her chest. “What else did he say?”

“That he’s miserable. Doesn’t know who he is without you…”

She closed her eyes because they welled with tears.

“Frankie, help me understand what happened. Why did he leave?”

She shook her head.

“Did he hurt you?”

“No.” Her voice came out strong as she spoke, for the first time. “He would never hurt me. That’s what he doesn’t understand.”

“Doesn’t understand what?” I pressed.

Francesca didn’t give me any more information. She closed off from me all over again. “I hope you can stay friends with him, Axel. You guys have been close for a long time. I would hate to see you lose a friendship over something that has nothing to do with you.”

“Frankie, I told him to stay away from you but he did it anyway.”

She rested her chin on her knees, her cheeks wet. “Hawke and I are supposed to be together and it’s a shame Hawke won’t let that happen because of his fears. Even though he’s hurt me so much I don’t regret what happened. I don’t regret what we had. If I’m never happy again for as long as I live, I still won’t regret it. Because…it was beautiful.”

Her words replayed in my mind over and over. I tried to understand it but couldn’t. “I want you to get back on your feet. I hate seeing you this way.”

“I know…I hate it too.”

“Then buck up and do it. You’ve never been this type of person, the kind that falls apart so easily.”

“I haven’t fallen apart because he’s gone.”

I stared at her, feeling the confusion.

“I’ve fallen apart because…he was it. He was my one true love. He took a piece of me I’ll never get back. Maybe one day I’ll be happy again but I’ll never be the same.”

“Don’t say that…”

“But it’s the truth.” She wiped her tears away on the back of her forearms. “Don’t lose him, Axel. You need each other.”

I wasn’t sure how I could be friends with someone that hurt my family so much.

She reached for my hand and patted it slightly. “I wouldn’t want you to ever lose each other.”

***

I sat at the table and Marie dropped the pile of papers in front of me. “We have to get all of this done—by Friday.”

I eyed it like it was Mount Everest.

“If we don’t, she’ll fail all of her classes.” She sat across from me and opened her laptop.

Francesca was in her room, either sleeping or staring at the wall.

“Well, I graduated college once. I can do it again.” I pulled the first assignment toward me, a history paper.

Marie looked through the stack and pulled out an assignment.

“Marie, I know you have your own things to focus on. I can handle this.”

“I don’t mind.” She skimmed through the paper before she turned to her laptop. “She would do it for me.”

“But I don’t want you to fall behind on your studies. The only thing I’m losing out on is TV and chicks—” I stopped in mid-sentence when I realized what I just said. Talking about other women in front of her was weird, but I couldn’t explain why. I didn’t make eye contact with her and stared at the history paper.

The only response she gave was the sound of her fingertips hitting the keyboard.

The subject of dating shouldn’t make her uncomfortable. In fact, our night together meant less to her than it did to me. I’d never met a woman who was so detached. Most of the time the girls wanted something more—at least a few more screws.

But Marie acted like it never happened.

She sighed as she looked back at the assignment. “Please tell me you took bio in college.”

“Yeah.”

She traded assignments with me. “I’ve already taken this history class so I should be able to do it. But science…I’m not even going to try.”

I looked at the paper and realized it was a write-up for a lap report. I’d have to bullshit everything, from the data to the instructions, and hope for the best. “I can do this.”

“Are you sure?”

“I liked science.”

“Really?” Her head automatically cocked to the side.

I tried not to take offense. “Why is that surprising?”

“I don’t know…you just don’t strike me as the academic type.”

“Well, I liked ever major besides math. That’s never interested me. It doesn’t possess any soul.”

“I know what you mean.”

“But everything else is cool. My favorite class I ever took was philosophy.”

She spun a pen in her fingertips as she stared at me. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I guess I like the fact there’s endless possibilities to any given question. And everything is subjective. Depending on how the view holder sees something, anything is possible. It was the course that made me realize I can be as happy as I choose. I just have to choose it.”

She stopped spinning the pen and just stared at me.

I held her gaze, feeling my heart speed up automatically. Her blue eyes were almost scenic, two paths down a forest road. Her eyes shifted slightly depending on her emotion, and I was beginning to understand her reactions to certain stimuli. The night we slept together was permanently ingrained in my mind but I was beginning to see her as a different person, a different woman than the one I’d already been with.

She didn’t withdraw her gaze, still watching me like she was searching for something.

I wanted to save face and wait for her to look away first but I was struggling. Those eyes were getting to me, making my body burn from inexplicable heat. I swallowed the lump in my throat because the intensity was becoming too much. I clenched my toes in my shoes, needing something to do that she couldn’t see. Seeing her look into my eyes was turning me on in a way I could never explain. It was the kind of intimacy I’d never had with a woman. It was stronger than anything else I’d ever felt. My entire body burned for her desperately. My jeans tightened around my crotch to the point where they were uncomfortable. Now I couldn’t even remember what we were talking about.

She broke the contact first. “I didn’t realize you had so many layers.”

“I’m a lot more than what I project.”

“Why is that?”

I didn’t like to be serious as much as possible. Whenever I dealt with my emotions head-on they crippled me. After all this time I still hadn’t forgiven my father for the cowardice way he left Francesca and I. Just because he was dead didn’t make him a saint. He would always be a pussy in my eyes. I was angry then and I was angry now. “It’s easier to be as emotionless as possible.”

“Without emotions what’s the point?”

“It’s a lot easier, if you ask me.” I looked away from her gaze and flipped through the lap report.

“Because of your father?” The second she said it she regretted it. The hesitance was loud in her voice, like she knew she crossed a line but chose to do it anyway.

I slowly turned my eyes back to her. “I’m guessing Francesca has already told you every little detail.”

“Actually, she doesn’t talk about it much. She told me what happened but…she didn’t go into the specifics.”

“I was the one who found him. Let’s just leave it at that.” It was hard for me to talk about, and I knew deep down inside it was because I feared I was just like him. One day I would become a coward just like him, unable to handle the stress of life. Maybe I wouldn’t kill myself but I’d let my family down in some way, just the way I let Francesca down.

“I’m sorry that happened to you. I can’t even imagine…” The apology seemed sincere even though she had no reason to apologize.

“Thanks.” I refused to look at her, feeling uncomfortable by her stare. Something formed between us but I couldn’t describe what it was. She wasn’t just my sister’s roommate anymore. But she wasn’t my friend either. All I knew was, we were on a different level now. The intimacy was arousing but also frightening. I’d never had a connection with anyone like that before.

And I wasn’t sure if I wanted it.

I changed the subject before we went any further down this road. “What’s your family like?” Francesca mentioned them in passing but I didn’t know anything real about them.

“My mom and dad live by the beach. Mom is a nurse and Dad is a realtor.”

“Cool. Siblings?”

“I have a sister—Jessie.”

“Is she older than you? Younger than you?”

“She’s younger than me. She just started college, actually.”