The ice storm continued all afternoon and into the evening, and John had to sleep over, because there was no way he could get home. When I crawled into bed that night, I smiled happily, knowing that
he
was in my house, in my basement. I didn't need to cover my head with blankets.
The freezing rain created chaos, continuing for more days than the weather reporters had originally thought. Three big stormsâinstead of the predicted oneâhit the Ottawa area. The rain kept falling and freezing, and the weight of that beautiful ice destroyed so many things. Amazing trees, some of them huge maples, were split in half, their trunks looking like they'd been severed with a saw. Telephone wires hung so low they hit the ground, and telephone poles, instead of standing straight, leaned at angles as low as 45 degrees. Hydro poles crumpled and bent with the strain of the collected ice; they looked like broken toys. The power went out in many homes, including my grandparents' in the country, where we had just been for Christmas. My parents were freaked with worry until they found out that my grandparents had a generator that they could use for power. I had never been in any kind of storm like this before, and although it was a disaster, I liked how people pulled together to help one another. Schools set up shelters for those in the country who were without power. Neighbors stayed together to share generators. The storm became a national disaster, and the Canadian army was called in to clean up the mess that had been created.
There was another upside, too. Every day that the announcers came on the radio saying school was closed for yet another day meant one more day John and I could spend together. He slept in the basement for the next few nights, because trying to get home was next to impossible. We talked, we laughed, and we shared thoughts. We had no homework to do, no activities; Christmas was over, and neither of us worked. During the nights that he wasn't sleeping at my house, I was thinking about him. I couldn't stop my thoughts. John filled every single oneâand they were all happy thoughts, because I was in love. I actually liked how the world seemed to stand still during the storm, because it gave me the time to be close to John without any distractions.
The ice storm consumed everyone's thoughts in Ottawa and surrounding area, even as far east as Montreal. But John consumed mine. Every once in a while, I wondered what life was going to be like after the storm finally subsided and we were back at school. Would Amber continue to hit on him? Because I knew that was what she was doing. Would Lacey continue to ignore me? Would my visions start again? Would John find out about me?
On Friday, we were still not back at school. John and I were home alone, curled up on the sofa downstairs. He rubbed a strand of my hair between his fingers. “It would be so great if school were canceled for the rest of the year. Then I could spend all my time with you.”
“That would be so amazing,” I said. “I wonder if we have to go back on Monday. I'm pretty sure we will.”
“I bet we do. I heard the storm is supposed to stop this weekend.” He paused. “But being like this, with you every day, has made me think. Next year,” he said slowly, “let's move to England and live together.”
“You're really serious about this, aren't you?” I turned to face him.
“I want to be with you next year,” he said, touching my cheek. “Being together all week has made me realize I want to be with you forever.”
Forever! Was I hearing right? It was all I wanted, too. I rested my head on his chest. England would be so romantic, and it was a place I'd always wanted to go.
“We could visit Scotland and Ireland, too,” I said, excitement in my voice.
“I can't imagine life without you, Indie.” John stroked my cheek.
“Me either,” I said. I took his hand and kissed his finger. “I wouldn't want to be alive if you weren't in my life.” I paused. Then I said, “Let's do it, John. Let's really do it. It would be so magical.”
A twinge of something unpleasant ran through me, but I pushed it aside. Nothing or nobody could tell me that this wasn't the right thing to do. It was right. It had to be, because everything was right when you were in love.
He smiled at me. “Okay,” he said, “we'll do it.” He paused for a second and just stared at me, and the look in his eyes was so intense that I thought I would melt right in his arms. I felt as if I were being sucked into his body. My heart raced. My blood flowed. Something big was on the tip of his tongue.
I waited for him to speak. After a few seconds, he whispered, “I love you.”
The shock of the words rippled through my body. I let the feeling flow, and it warmed me completely. Then I softly replied, “I love you, too.”
Â
March 1998
I was running with John along a beach and then Lacey was running beside us. But she stopped and started choking, because the necklace was too tight. She clutched her chest and fell. John started to do CPR on her. Then Lacey became Burke, and John still did CPR, but Burke looked as if he weren't breathing. I just stood there doing nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
I woke up in a pool of sweat, my breath coming out in short gasps. I put my hands to my chest and tried to slow my breathing down. This was the sixth time I'd had that dream in a month. The last two had only been days apart.
I looked at the calendar sitting on my desk. Burke. It was all about Burke again. Week after week had passed, and every time I got close to talking to Lacey, I felt as if my tongue had been chopped off. I was so afraid of what would happen if people found out. If John found out.
He was
all
that mattered. I'd even quit the band to spend more time with him.
And as each day passed and nothing happened to Burke, I kept asking myself, why should I say anything? Nothing was happening. So what if I didn't say anything and nothing happened?
You have to tell Lacey, Indie
.
“Shut up!” Who was he? The soft voice who came to me over and over again? And now I was being haunted by dreams, too. I wasn't sure how much more I could stand.
“I can't tell her,” I said out loud to myself as I picked up an old teddy bear stuffy that I'd had for years on my bed and pressed it against my chest. “I just can't, okay? Nothing has happened, so maybe nothing
will
happen. I can't just wreck my life because something
might
happen.”
I flopped back on my bed and stared at the ceiling.
You have to tell her NOW
.
I immediately sat up again when I heard the word
now
, because this was the same man who had warned me about the woman in the car on Christmas Day.
“Who are you?” I whispered. My body started trembling.
NOW
!
I jumped out of bed and threw on the jeans that were crumpled on the floor, my hands shaking as I tugged up the zipper. Then I put on a sweater, ran a brush through my hair, and headed to the washroom. I wasn't sure what I was doing or why I was moving the way I was, but I had to go. Without eating breakfast, I snatched my coat off the hook, and as I ran out the door, I yelled at my mom that I was going to school early. I heard her calling after me, but I didn't stop to listen to what she had to say.
Drab, dreary slush covered much of the sidewalk and soaked my feet through my sneakers as I ran. My nerves felt like they were on the outside of my body. Why was I doing this? My feet were moving, my body following, and I couldn't stop.
Stop. Stop.
I tried to talk to my body, but it just kept moving. Since the dreams had started a month ago, all this had been building. And now here I was, on some mission that I didn't understand. In my head, I prepared a speech. It had to come out right. I could never live with myself if something happened to Burke and I'd said nothing.
The voice. He had yelled at me.
By now I was at my bus stop. I lowered my head and stared at my wet feet. My body wouldn't stop shaking. If I'd ignored the voice at Christmas, the woman would have died. He had been really urgent this time, too. He never talked to me like that unless it was important.
Or perhaps he was just tired of me stalling?
No. I didn't believe that for a second. In a daze I caught my bus.
I was at my locker, still going over my speech in my head while pulling out my books, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I nearly had a heart attack.
“Scared you good.” John stood behind me, his warm breath steaming my neck. The smell of fresh soap hit my nostrils.
I turned and looked up at him, staring into his eyes. Then he did something he'd never done before: he kissed me in the hallway. I kissed him backâlike, really kissed him. When it was over, he immediately stepped back and looked up and down the hall.
“You hate PDA,” I said.
He shrugged. “I had to do it,” he said softly. “It's Monday, and I just had to kiss you.”
“Meet me for lunch under the tree outside,” I said.
He held up his thumb as he walked backward. Then he turned and headed to his class. I stayed at my locker. My heart pounded.
Forget about him, Indie. Concentrate on something else
.
Where was Lacey? I stalled, pulling books out and putting them back until I saw her coming down the hall, late as usual. My heart picked up speed, raced like a ticking time bomb, and my legs felt like mush.
Indie, stay focused
.
But you haven't talked to her in months
.
Stay focused.
“Lacey,” I said when she finally showed up at her locker.
She refused to look at me and instead spun the lock on the door. “That's my name,” she answered.
On instinct, I reached out and touched her arm, like I would have done when we were friends. “I have to tell you something.” I rushed my words.
She didn't answer.
“I had a vision.” I knew I was speaking fast, but finally the words were there and I had to let them go. “I think Burke is in trouble.” My words spewed from my mouth like an overflowing fountain. “It's cold and loud and bright, and he crashes into something and hurts himself.”
Lacey gave me an incredulous look, then she burst out laughing. “Are you fricking kidding me? You're the weirdest person I know.” Then she leaned forward, her eyes smoldering. “I kept the last one quiet, but this time, I'm telling
the entire school.
” She pulled out her books and shut her locker door.
“By the way,” she added, “I heard about Amber and John. Guess she wasn't going for Burke after all.”
After she had stalked away, I just stood in the hall with my forehead pressed against my locker. After a few seconds, I straightened up and tried to take my books out for my first class, but my hands were trembling so much that I dropped them on the floor. When I picked them up, I saw Lacey's necklace and it was knotted again. I had put it back in there so long ago. I shoved it into my pocket.
Suddenly I felt drained of energy. I had been so charged just an hour earlier, running to catch the bus and now ⦠I felt as if I could crawl into a hole and die. Why had I said anything? Was she right about Amber and John? It wasn't like she was going to help me now.
I looked up toward the ceiling. “How could you do this to me?” I whispered. “Why? How could you give me these visions? For what purpose?”
“Indie Russell. Time for class,” said Mr. Leonard as he walked by me.
I spent my entire first class working out the knots of the necklace. By the time the bell rang, it was untangled.
In between my first and second classes, as I walked down the hall, I was so clouded and muddled in thoughts about everything that was going wrong that I didn't notice that I was close to Lacey and her pod of popular friends until it was too late to change directions. I lowered my head, hoping she wouldn't see me.
Just when I was almost by the group, I heard one of them shout, “Hey, fortune teller! Am I going to be a big star?”