Three Hundred Words (14 page)

Chapter Twelve

Mr. Lane didn’t
come to our matches the next day. I didn’t know where he was, just that he
wasn’t here. My heart sunk, but I continued to listen to strategies as though
it meant something.

I couldn’t
concentrate at all.

And what was worse
was the cameras littered around the sports hall we were playing in. No doubt
they were being put on BT Sport Channel Ten, or something, but the thought of
even more people than were just in the stands watching me was horrifying.

Because I was
going to play badly today, I could just tell, and the people we were playing
against were even more terrifying than the girls at nationals. They were tall,
muscular and obviously put everything into the sport.

I swallowed and
realised everyone was looking at me. “Sorry, what?”

“Do you want to do
the coin tosses, or shall I?” Millie repeated her question, a worried look on
her face.

“Oh, you can do
it.”

I returned to
sticking my fingers through the strings of my racket and wishing something
would swallow me up. My mum was in the crowd somewhere, but I didn’t want to
look for her. I was going to be an embarrassment today.

Millie and I
walked to our first court together, and she fixed me with a wary look. “Did
something happen last night? You seem distracted, and, well, miserable.”

I shrugged. “It’s
complicated. Family stuff. I’ll try my best out there, though.”

There wasn’t
really anything else she could ask of me, so Millie just smiled and went to do
the toss, the girl from the other team towering above her.

I held my racket
awkwardly and noticed someone I recognised on the side lines. He wasn’t
anywhere near my court, but Mr. Lane had his eyes trained on me. The smallest
of smiles graced my face – he was somewhere that wasn’t visible from the
stands, but he’d still come out to support me.

It made me feel
infinitely better for some reason – at least our relationship hadn’t died quite
yet.

And I really tried
my best to put everything into the matches today. I played well, as well as I
could have done, but it wasn’t even close to good enough. We’d been lucky to
get through to this stage as it was, but the competition was staggering and we
didn’t stand a chance.

Still, I enjoyed
the day overall. It was an experience that we all came out of slightly
disheartened, but generally happy. I’d definitely learnt more about my game
than any amount of practise could have given.

We hugged each
other as last place was announced and waved to the crowd as they cheered us
off. Tomorrow we’d get to watch the real competition as the final rounds kicked
off and the pressure would be gone.

Well, it would be
gone for everyone else.

As soon as we’d
packed up our stuff and left the sport’s hall, I went on a search for my
mother.

I’d spotted her in
the crowd at one point, but she hadn’t been looking at me and she definitely
hadn’t been smiling. I had to try and make this right and I had to do
everything in my power to save Mr. Lane’s job.

I began to feel
sick after searching fruitlessly for so long. Eventually I went and sat outside
her hotel, but after an hour of absolutely no movement, I lost hope. She wasn’t
coming out. She’d probably spotted me from her room and decided to wait until I
left, or something. I didn’t really blame her.

And so I trawled
back to the beach and prayed the hotel’s Wi-Fi would reach that far. I needed
to talk to Emma. She was the only one who could make this better.

I dug my toes into
the soft sand and prayed Emma would be available to chat. As the boring tone
rang out, I closed my eyes. Today was definitely not a time for video skyping –
I’d kept it to voice only. “Lily!” It was a high-pitched half-shout. “Are you
okay? I’ve been trying to get hold of you for ages? How are you?”

“Everything is
shit. My mum caught me and Mr. Lane. She’s going to tell the school.”

I didn’t need to
see Emma’s face to know what it looked like. She was spluttering, trying
desperately to conjure up something to say that might possibly help the
situation. “What happened?”

“He was just
trying to comfort me about my dad and my mum showed up. It’s my fault, I
shouldn’t have told him I was upset and stuff. I really liked him and now he’s
going to hate me. I’m such an idiot.”

Emma attempted to
make soothing noises through the phone. “Can’t you convince her not to?”

“I don’t think so.
I tried, but she wasn’t listening. I guess I can’t blame her, I’d probably be
the same, but she doesn’t understand, you know? Well, I feel like she doesn’t
understand.”

“And don’t forget
she’s down on love at the moment. She probably just wants to protect the one
thing that will always be constant in her life, you.”

She had a point.
“There can be more than one person in my life, though. I want her to be happy,
but I want to be happy, too. Mr. Lane makes me happy.” I groaned. “Have you
seen my dad again?”

Emma snorted. “Of
course I haven’t. I was lucky to even run into him that once, you’ll have to
ask him about it yourself when you get home. Just be blunt and try and figure
stuff out with him. He’s still your dad.”

“That’s what Mr.
Lane said. I know it’s true, I just can’t stand the fact he did what I did to
Luke, it’s a horrible reminder that I’m a bad person, too. I feel like I shouldn’t
forgive him and I shouldn’t forgive myself.”

Emma groaned.
“Lily you made a mistake. You can’t hold it against yourself forever.”

“I feel like I
should.”

“Lily, if your
life is about to take another turn for the worse, then you have to forgive
yourself if there’s any chance of you dealing with losing Mr. Lane and your
father having a kid with someone else.”

There was a
choking sound from behind me and I watched, dumbfounded, as my mother got to
her feet with wide eyes.

“Wait, mum!” I
called after her, scrambled after her, but I’d delayed too much and she’d gone
before I could catch up, running all the way back to her hotel with speed I
didn’t know he possessed. I’d hung up on Emma during the run. This was private
now.

I slowed to a
standstill, drawing in a shaky breath before going to the reception desk. “Hi,
I’m really sorry to bother you, but that woman who just ran through is my mum
and I really need to be able to see her. Is there any way you could let me up
to her room, or let me call her or something?”

The woman behind
the desk practically winced. It was obvious she couldn’t do anything for me.
“I’m really sorry, but it would be against company policy for me to do either
of those things.”

My shoulders
slumped and I was forced to nod. “Thanks anyway.”

I decided to stay
sitting in the lobby for a while, tossing my phone up and down and trying to
recall everything I’d said to Emma in our conversation. I’d mentioned cheating
on Luke, I’d talked about me and Mr. Lane.

And I dropped that
bombshell on my mother without even realising it.

I buried my head
in my hands, praying she’d come out of her room. I could help her. I could at
least try and make her feel better.

They had to ask me
to leave, eventually, with sympathetic faces as I trudged into the now dark
evening.

She’d be sat in
her room crying and there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it. If only I
hadn’t been caught with Mr. Lane, none of it would have happened.

Chapter Thirteen

I didn’t see my
mother for a week after that. She wasn’t at the airport when I was flying home
and she didn’t actually return home after that. She’d text me, to make sure I
didn’t ring the police, but other than that there’d been no contact.

My calls had all
gone to answer phone and the lengthy texts I sent were ignored.

I didn’t mention
her absence to anyone, because no one needed to know, or judge her for it. I
was eighteen and I was plenty capable of doing stuff for myself. She’s
transferred money to my bank account and so I could go and buy food.

Mr. Lane was the
only person that I’d been forced to tell. He was spending every waking moment
worrying about getting a call from the head teacher saying he’d lost his job
and so he deserved to know my mother wasn’t even in the city right now.

Up to now, his job
had remained intact.

When there was a
clang downstairs, I jumped to my feet, briefly considering trying to find some
kind of weapon before deciding it must be my mother. I stopped on the bottom
stair, peering into the room as my mum dropped a bag onto the floor.

There were black
bags under her eyes and the stench of alcohol on her breath and I didn’t really
want to know where she’d been. She directed a tired gaze at me and my stomach
clenched. I want to go and hug her, but my feet remained glued to the floor.
I’d caused so much of this.

It was only a
moment’s hesitation before I did it anyway, striding across the floor and
wrapping my arms around her middle tightly. There were tears in my eyes, but I
really tried not to shed them. I didn’t want her to be guilty, or anything like
that. I was just glad to have her back and okay.

I’d been on the
verge of calling the police anyway when she didn’t return any of my daily
calls.

“I’m so sorry for
running off honey,” she sniffled against my hair, arms painfully tight around
me. “I just couldn’t take any of it. I just needed to figure things out.”

“It’s okay,” my
voice caught despite my attempts to keep my emotions in check. “I understand.”

We stood like that
for another five minutes, just hugging until the only thing plaguing my mind
was needing to know what her decision about Mr. Lane was.

“I think we
probably need to talk,” my mum relinquished her grip on me and moved towards
the sofa, patting the seat next to her.

My stomach
clenched as I sat down. I prayed, more than anything, that she’d have found
some reason to forgive him. I just wanted him to be able to keep his job. I
didn’t care about anything else now. “I don’t like the idea of you being with
someone ten years older than you,” she began, a grimace still littering her
face just from saying it. “But you’re also an adult, free to make your own
decisions.” My mother sighed, looking ready to bury her head in my hands whilst
my hope soared. “I’m willing to make a compromise.”

I hadn’t even
heard it yet, but that meant Mr. Lane was keeping his job. It had to. “Thank
you.”

“I won’t tell
anyone, but you have to wait until the end of the year to be with him. I won’t
have you getting caught and having that smeared against your name and I need
you to be concentrating on your work, too. You still need to get your grades
for university and I’d rather you had as few distractions as possible.”

I didn’t bother to
mention that without Mr. Lane and I having been in a relationship, my
coursework would have been a complete failure. “Thank you so much, mum.”

“I’m serious,
though. Ten years is a big difference at your age. He’s at a different point in
his life, closer to wanting to get married and have kids. Don’t let him
pressure you into anything you don’t want to do.”

I nodded, my
cheeks burning, but my relief trumping all. “I definitely wouldn’t.”

“Good.”

Now that was out
of the way, I moved onto the other topic, one that I needed to know the answer
to as well. “Did you see dad?”