Thirty-Two and a Half Complications (19 page)

Tears filled my eyes. “What do you want, Joe?” My voice broke as I fought to keep from crying.

My tears softened him. He took a step closer and reached an arm around my back, but I shrugged him off. “You do
not
get to threaten to arrest me and then put your arms around me.”

He lowered his arm but stayed close, tenderness on his face. “Rose, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I still love you. Would you be able to just stand back and watch someone you love do something you knew would get them into trouble?”

I didn’t answer, pressing my knuckles to my mouth.

“I’m not going to arrest you.” He slowly reached a hand to my arm and rubbed lightly when I didn’t pull away. “I’m only trying to get you to listen. You’re so stinking stubborn, sometimes words don’t get through to you.”

“I want to go home.”

“Okay, let me wrap things up and I’ll take you.”

I lifted my gaze to his, my back stiffening. “I walked here with Muffy and I’ll walk back.”

A hard look filled his eyes. “I’ll drive you.” His tone made it clear he wasn’t going to back down.

“Fine,” I grunted.

“But I can’t go yet. It’ll be five to ten more minutes.” He looked up at the cloud-darkened sky. “Are you cold? Do you want to sit in the car?” His voice softened and he sounded more like the Joe I had known over the summer. The one who would come see me for the weekend, sweeping me up in his arms and spending every possible moment with me before he had to leave again on Monday morning. We’d been our happiest then, and it made me sad to remember those days. It occurred to me there were so many versions of him. Which was the real one?

I wondered if Joe even knew.

Chapter Thirteen

I waited outside if for no other reason than I didn’t want to spend any more time in his car than necessary. There were too many painful reminders.

Muffy stuck with Joe, making me feel even worse. I’d adopted her during the time when Joe had entered my life. It had been obvious he loved her and she him, and they clearly missed each other. Why had I never considered that before today?

When Joe finished his business, he walked over to me, looking cautious. He knew he’d gone too far and I supposed he was wondering if I was going to make him pay for it. “We can go now.” He opened the passenger door. “Hop in, Muffy.”

She jumped into the backseat, obviously happy to be there, while I slid into the front seat, a familiar place that was no longer mine. Nostalgia washed over me, hot and bittersweet. Joe was my first love. Our breakup had nearly destroyed me. I suspected it had done the same to him. But nothing had changed for Joe. He was still a slave to his father. I was still a slave to his father’s false accusations. Joe was still on Hilary’s hook, whether he liked it or not.

I was a different person from the one who’d fallen in love with him.

I wasn’t the naïve young woman who’d never gone on a picnic or flown a kite. I’d drunk beer and danced in the rain. I’d kissed a man and
done more
with a man. It was on the night Joe and I met that I created a list of the twenty-eight things I wanted to do before the vision of my death came true—my wish list. And I’d done them all. Some on my own. Some with the man climbing into the car next to me now.

But it was time to make a new list—one that didn’t include him.

To Joe, I was still a damsel in distress who needed help becoming a woman capable of navigating the world. To Mason, I already
was
that woman.

Joe closed his car door and started the engine. “Is Mason at your farm?”

“Yes.”

“I need to talk to you, Rose, and your farm doesn’t seem like the best place if he’s there.”

I shook my head, refusing to look at him. “There’s nothing left to say.”

“Yes. There is. We can’t keep going on like this.”

“Then leave me alone.”

He pulled up to the stop sign and sighed, draping his arm over the steering wheel and staring out the windshield. “You know I can’t. Not if I’m a sheriff’s deputy and you keep finding trouble.”

He was right. We were going to keep butting heads. We needed to form some sort of truce.

“Fine.”

He turned left. Away from the farm.

My stomach tightened. “Where are we going, Joe?”

“Somewhere private to talk.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why?” He turned to me and lifted an eyebrow, shooting me a sarcastic leer. “Don’t you trust yourself?”

“No. I don’t trust you.”

Joe pulled the car to the side of the road and threw it into park. “Of all the things you’ve ever said to me, you’ve never hurt me as much as you did just now. What the hell do you think I’m going to do? When have I ever insinuated that I’d hurt a hair on your head?”

I started to cry.

“Rose. What do you think I’m going to
do
?” he asked, insistent. And angry.

“I don’t know.” I wiped my tears and looked out the window. “I just want to go home.”

He was quiet for several seconds before he finally said, “To him.”

I didn’t respond.

“Do you really think I’d hurt you?”

“Not intentionally. But you keep doing it anyway. Please. Just take me home.”

A car whizzed past us.

“No,” he said, his voice rising again. “We’ll do this on the side of the road if we have to, but we’re
going
to talk. How am I hurting you?”

My head swung toward him. “You won’t leave me alone!”

Exasperation spread over his face. “How can I leave you alone when
I love you?
We belong together, Rose. I’m trying to make you see that.”

“You can’t
force
me to be with you just because
you
think we belong together.” My anger was rising again. “You think you can dictate the way things should be and you expect me to just follow along. I’m a
grown woman
, Joe. I have a mind and I have opinions of my own.” I turned to him, leaning into the console. “Mason respects me. He values my opinion. He listens to what I have to say. He—”

Before I knew what he was doing, Joe grabbed the back of my head and pulled my mouth to his. His kiss wasn’t tender like the first time he’d kissed me on my front porch, months ago. That kiss had been full of wonder and playfulness. This was wild and desperate—his mouth claimed mine while his arm reached around my back and pinned my lower abdomen to the console, his upper chest pressed against mine.

I strained against him and tried to push him away, but my arms were caught at my sides. Fear bubbled up in my gut, not because I thought he would hurt me, but because I felt myself weakening.

My body was reacting to his.

He groaned when my lips parted in response to him, and I sank into his chest. He moved his hand up to my head and buried his hand in my hair, holding me in place as his mouth devoured mine. I kissed him back with abandon.

His other hand slid to my waist, slipping under the edge of my jacket to tug up my shirt.

His cold hand on my bare skin brought me back to my senses. He’d freed my arms, so I lifted my hands to his chest and pushed hard, breaking his hold. “No!”

Joe sat back in his seat, stunned, his eyes still hooded with lust. “Rose.”

I shook my head in horror, scooting away from him until my back hit the car door. “How could you? I’m with Mason!”

He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes pleading. “If you really wanted him, would you kiss me like that?”

“It’s called chemistry! I never once claimed we didn’t have chemistry!” I took a deep breath and choked back a sob. “Take me home.”

“No!” Anger burned in his eyes and he reached for me, but I shrunk away. “I was trying to prove a point!”

“And you did, just not the one you intended. Did you even listen to a word I said?”

He shook his head. “That you want to be with him? I heard the words, Rose, but the evidence proves otherwise.”

“This—” I waved my hand between us “—proves
nothing
.” My words were hateful, but at that moment I truly hated him. I hated that he was trying to steal the happiness I had with Mason. “All you did was prove the point I was making before you kissed me.” My voice turned cold. “I was telling you that Mason respects me. He values my opinions. He doesn’t shove his agenda at me and expect me to obey.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Mason’s loved me for months. Don’t you think he wanted to kiss me ages ago? To prove there was something between us? Because there is, Joe, there’s something
wonderful
between us. But he didn’t because I was with you. He knew me well enough to know that forcing himself on me when I was with someone else would
devastate me
.”

His mouth opened and closed as he started to say something and stopped.

“He knew that kissing me might prove we had chemistry, but I couldn’t handle the fallout. That right there is just one of the many differences between you. He loves me enough that he’d rather live without me than rip my heart to shreds. He loves me unconditionally, Joe. That means putting the other person’s feelings before your own, a concept you clearly don’t understand.”

“Rose…”

“Take me home,” I said, trying to keep myself from falling apart.

“You and I still have something, Rose. You can’t deny that.”

“We did once. But you killed it. You stomped on it and destroyed it and destroyed me too. Now I have to walk into that house and face the man I love knowing I just cheated on him.” A sob broke loose. What had I done?

“You didn’t cheat.” A mixture of regret and frustration filled his words. “We only kissed.”

I released a bitter laugh. “After hearing your definition of
not cheating
, I’m even more glad we’re not together.”

He shoved the car into gear and whipped it around in a U-turn. Thankfully he was silent the rest of the way home. When he parked in front of my house, I reached for the door, but he said, “Rose, I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“
If
you hurt me?”

He released a breath. “Okay, I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

I started to get out, but then turned back to face him. “And don’t hold out hope that Mason will see the guilt on my face and break up with me. If that man walks out of my life because of what just happened, I will
never
forgive you.”

“Rose.” He grabbed my wrist. “He’s only interested in you because of me. Think about it. He blames me for Savannah’s death. It’s the perfect way to get back at me. He thinks I stole his sister from him, so he’s decided to steal the most precious thing in the world to me: you. He has you now, but when it serves his purposes, he’ll crush you. You can’t trust him, Rose. Even if you don’t take me back, don’t let him hurt you.”

My mouth sagged open. “How can you sink so low? He’s been interested in me for months. And that’s not just him saying so. Everyone noticed but me.”

His eyes narrowed. “
I
noticed, Rose. I noticed the day on the courthouse steps after Jimmy DeWade was arrested.”

“If that’s true, you’re suggesting that he’s been planning this for months.” I tried to jerk away, but he held my arm tight.

“When Mason was in Little Rock, he was known for his patience in the courtroom. He lulled the opponent into a false sense of security before going in for the kill.”

“I can’t believe you! Is this your slimy way of making me feel better about that kiss?” I scrambled out. “Come on, Muffy.”

“Rose, you have to listen to me,” Joe pleaded.

Muffy looked torn but finally hopped out of the car, and I slammed the door shut. I stood in front of my house and looked up at the porch as Joe drove off, realizing the main reason this place felt like home to me was because of Mason.

And there was a very good chance I was about to lose him.

The front door opened and he stood on the threshold, leaning on his cane. “Rose?” His gaze lifted to the parting car and his face hardened. “Was that Joe?”

I started to cry and Muffy whined at my feet.

Mason hobbled toward me, but I ran up the steps and flung myself at his chest, throwing him off balance.

He caught himself and his free arm wrapped around my back, squeezing me tight. “What happened? Are you hurt?” He sounded panicked, not that I could blame him. I was a sobbing mess.

I shook my head, trying to catch my breath. “No.” At least not physically.

“Rose, you’re scaring me. What happened?”

“We found a dead body.”

His body tensed. “Where? And who’s we?”

“Muffy and me. On our walk. We found Mr. Sullivan from the bank in the ditch next to the gravel drive on the next farm.”

His hand gripped my bicep and he pulled me back to look into my face, obviously trying to understand why I was so upset. “Did you see it happen?”

“His murder? No. We just stumbled upon the body.”

Irritation flickered in his eyes. “I told you to call me if you ran into trouble. Why didn’t you?”

“I was going to. But Deputy Miller showed up as soon as I got off the call with the 911 operator, and he told me that Joe was coming.”

“You didn’t call me because you didn’t want Joe and me to be together in such close proximity.”

I nodded.

The left corner of his mouth tipped up slightly as he tried to piece everything together. “It stands to reason he’d be there. Contrary to your track record, there aren’t many murders in Fenton County.”

“That’s not the only reason he was there.”

His face went slack. “You.”

“Deputy Miller said he’s told all the deputies to call him if I’m involved in anything.”

His jaw hardened. “Okay. So what happened?”

I cringed. “We had a huge argument. He accused me of finding the body on purpose, which is ridiculous. Muffy found him. Along with a field of fainting goats. In any case, he thinks I’m investigating the bank robbery.”

“Are you?” he asked dryly.

My heart lurched. “Why do you ask?”

“As we’ve already established, I’m an intelligent man. You and Neely Kate disappeared for a prolonged length of time last night. Then there was a commotion in the bar and you two reappeared just minutes later. Seeing as how I can’t come up with a reasonable explanation for one pregnant woman and another possibly pregnant woman to visit a bar, I can only presume you were up to something.”