Things Lost In The Fire (7 page)

“
It had to happen, kid. We all thought so. When I remember that night and how tightly you held onto me when I carried you out of that room…
”

“If someone hadn’t shot him, you would’ve found me with more damage than just bruises,” Sadie said, darkness washing over her. “I wish I could remember. I wish I’d seen who it was. I owe them my life.”

“
It doesn’t matter now, anyway. Dwelling on it won’t solve the mystery, it’ll only frustrate you.
”

“True.” She sighed, brushing her fingers through her hair. “Well, I should probably take a shower and head on over to see her.”

“
Make sure to say hi for me. And if she’s in a mood, don’t let her bring you down. You stay positive, kid. That’s what you’re good at.
”

“Thanks, Tommy.”

She hung up the phone and pressed it to her lips, feeling more anxious than before. Shaking it off, she stood up and wandered into the guest bathroom to shower.

THE NAVY blue skirt draped over her legs, nearly brushing the floor. She’d paired it with a white and blue striped blouse and delicate gold jewelry that hung around her neck and on her wrists. Taking in her own image in the bathroom mirror brought on a wave of nostalgia she couldn’t fight.

God, she did look like her mother. The same long, golden waves of hair. The soft, feminine bone structure and slender nose. The only difference was the eyes. Valerie had the rich, bronzed eyes of a gypsy, while Sadie’s resembled the blue-green waves of the ocean.

No wonder her father rejected her. She really was the spitting image of the woman he despised above all else. Knowing it filled her with a sadness she thought she’d gotten over years ago.

Pushing it to the back of her mind, she left the room and grabbed her purse from the kitchen counter. Keys in hand, she made her way out to the car and slipped on her favorite pair of round, silver rimmed sunglasses.

The five minute drive to her mother’s house went much too quickly. Before she could prepare herself, she was pulling into the private driveway overgrown with fuchsia bougainvillea flowers and rolling down her window to tap the buzzer.

As the gates split open to invite her inside, she found herself holding her breath. She struggled to release it as she drove in and parked behind her mother’s prized electric blue ‘69 Corvette.

She shut off the car and sat in silence, trying to steady her heart. Nerves tickled over the skin of her arms and danced in her belly. She gazed out the windshield and looked up at the grand, two-story Victorian mansion she’d once called home.

It looked just as it had when she’d been a child. White siding broken up by countless tall windows. Steeply sloped roof with Medieval-castle-inspired details. The landscaping was carefully maintained, but gave the impression of being untamed with its abundance of colorful wildflowers. Boston ivy climbed up the walls of the home and bougainvillea bloomed around the front door. Hanging from the trees were white Chinese lanterns, swaying in the breeze.

Sadie swung open the car door, purse in hand. As she shut it behind her, she lifted her chin in an attempt to bolster her confidence. She walked up to the front door, surprised by her own smile as she looked upon her mother’s various fairy statues, each holding colorful glass orbs that shimmered in the sunlight. Valerie had always cherished fantasy over reality.

When she pushed the door bell, the first thing she heard was the yapping of a tiny dog. Its barking grew louder, then was accompanied by the sound of little claws scratching against the wooden door.

The door opened to reveal a harried looking maid, who scooped the excited white Pomeranian into her arms. “Miss Sadie. Come in, please.”

Sadie smiled and reached out to pet the dog, only to jolt back as it nipped at her.

The maid chuckled. “Coco’s not so friendly to strangers. My name is Carla.”

“Nice to meet you.” Sadie waited for Carla to set the dog down before extending her hand. The Pomeranian scampered off down the hall and out of sight.

Carla accepted the handshake and paused, her dark eyes drinking their fill of Sadie as she smiled. “Ms. Ryan is taking a bath. Why don’t you wait in the music room while I let her know you are here?”

“Okay.” Sadie followed her past the high-ceilinged parlor and the sweeping staircase into a large, airy room to the left. The far wall was covered by windows, exposed to let in the brightness of daylight. Beyond, she could see the expanse of her mother’s prized garden, flowers in full bloom. A kidney-shaped swimming pool sparkled in the sun, giving way to a view of the surrounding Hollywood Hills.

“Make yourself at home,” Carla said before leaving her alone.

Sadie’s eyes fell from the view outside to the white and gold grand piano in the center of the room, flanked by French revival sofas and chairs cloaked in soft pink fabric. They were for the adoring audiences that Valerie craved like a bird needs the open air. That, at least, hadn’t changed.

She stepped farther into the room, her feet trailing over the cherry-wood floor. Before she realized what she was doing, she was seated at the piano, her fingers hovering over the keys.

Her eyes closed as her flesh met the ivory, absorbing with it all the emotions that had been played out over those keys. All the memories, dark and light, morbid and fantastical, that lay embedded within. She imagined her mother slaving away at those same keys for hours on end, pouring her wild emotions into song.

Inspired, she launched into one of her own creations. One of Piper Gray’s songs. She lost herself in lyrics that spoke of losing childhood innocence, the softness of her voice poignant with emotion and an old, deeply rooted heartache.

Moments later she heard a sound and froze, her eyes darting to the entrance of the room. Her mother stood there, still as a statue, her face unreadable.

Sadie let her hands fall from the keys, embarrassed. As she tried to find something to say, her mother saved her the trouble.

“I thought I was watching myself for a moment, only thirty years younger.” One of Valerie’s brows slid up as she walked into the room. The sweeping crimson skirt she wore fluttered around her legs, accompanied by a lacy white blouse that tied in the front with ribbons. Her long mane of blonde hair spilled over her shoulders and down her back, the once vibrant color dulled by age.

Sadie blinked, then rose to her feet awkwardly. “I’m sorry. I should’ve asked first.”

“No need. I would’ve been shocked if you hadn’t been drawn to my piano.” Valerie came to a stop before her daughter, holding her gaze. A smile teased her carefully painted lips. “It’s where the magic happens, after all.”

Sadie nodded for lack of something better to do. Her hands twisted together as she debated whether or not to hug her mother.

Valerie saved her the trouble yet again. “Come here. You look like a bunny caught in headlights. I’m not going to bite.”

Sadie let her mother hug her, keeping it safely distant. When she pulled away, she tried to smile. “How are you?”

“Right as rain, like always,” Valerie replied, her goddess voice light and carefree. She patted Sadie’s cheek. “Why don’t we have tea in the garden? I’ll have Carla make up this fabulous Rooibos tea I picked up the other day. It tastes like oranges and vanilla, you’ll love it.”

Within minutes they were settled into comfortable armchairs beneath a flowering magnolia tree. They faced the pool and the view of the mountains, sipping iced tea from tall, slender glasses. A plate of strawberries and grapes sat on a little table between them. Coco lazed in Valerie’s lap, licking the condensation from her glass.

“So was that song you were playing something you wrote yourself?” Valerie inquired, jostling the ice in her glass with her straw.

Sadie blushed. “Yeah. Just for fun.”

“It was lovely,” Valerie complimented. “And very sad.”

“Life is lovely and sad.”

“Very true. Have you played it for your father?”

Tension bunched in Sadie’s shoulders, a defensive reaction. “No.”

“Ah.” Valerie sounded pleased. She sipped her tea and cast her eyes upon the view. “Isn’t it beautiful here? I don’t know why I ever go back inside the house. I should just bring my bed right here beneath this tree and never leave.”

“There’s a spot back home that overlooks the lake…” Sadie began, only to feel awkward at the thought of Lake Tahoe. Her mother had always held a distaste for any place north of Santa Barbara. “Anyway, it’s beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as this, though,” Valerie preened, smiling at her. “You can’t beat L.A., darling.”

Sadie fought back the urge to roll her eyes and said nothing.

“Georgina just bought this amazing beach house down in Dana Point and hosted the most fabulous party last weekend. If you’d been here you could have come.” Valerie nibbled on a strawberry, then fed the rest of it to her dog. “I know everyone would love to see you again.”

“It’s been awhile,” Sadie replied, thinking of Georgina. The woman had never looked at her the same after what happened with Walker. “I talked to Tommy this morning. He says hi.”

A wicked grin lit up Valerie’s face. “I’m sure that’s not all he said.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“He probably told you how surprised I was when you called to let me know you were coming to visit. I couldn’t help but call him right after and find out if this was some elaborate trick Ben was setting up.”

Sadie frowned, shaking her head. “Why would my dad do something like that? I just wanted to come see you.”

“And that’s what Tommy said. But I had my suspicions at first.” Valerie smiled knowingly as they met eyes. “If you’d lived under his thumb as long as I did, you’d understand.”

Irritated, Sadie turned away and downed the last of her tea. They sat in silence for a few moments, giving Sadie time to bury her anger.

“So how are you feeling, really?” she asked again, glancing at her mother. Despite her worst fears, her mother looked as healthy as always. There was very little evidence of the deadly cancer that had taken home in her body. “What have the doctors said about your—”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sadie,” Valerie replied, her fingers tensing over her dog’s fur. “I’m doing just fine.”

“You can’t seriously sit here and pretend like nothing’s happening,” Sadie retorted, confused. “I want to help you, but I won’t be able to if you won’t admit you’re sick.”

“You sound just like your father,” Valerie said, dark amusement in her tone. “Always so
pragmatic
.”

Sadie frowned. “I’m not him. And I’m not you, either.”

“No. If you were like me this would be so much easier. I know perfectly well what’s wrong with me. I just choose not to dwell on it.”

Emotion caught in Sadie’s throat and froze there, making it difficult to breathe. Guilt spread over her body and sank its teeth in. “Fair enough,” she murmured, unable to say more.

Her mother smiled again. “Forget it. Why don’t we go shopping? I think some new shoes will cheer me up.”

Before Sadie could agree, Valerie had risen to her feet. She swept off for the house, leaving no room for discussion.

“SO, WHEN are we going to record your first album?”

Sadie blinked in surprise, glancing up from her mixed greens salad. “Excuse me?”