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Authors: Marion Zimmer Bradley

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which would destroy Darkover as we know it. It's going to be a race; a race against time. But I'm going

to do it." His face was bleak. "I didn't ask to be placed at the head of the Council," he said. "I never wanted anything of the sort. But I have that power and for better or worse I've got to use it."

"I don't understand," Linnea said. "Why should the Empire
want
telepaths? From what
I
hear, they just barely believe we exist!"

"Look," said Regis violently, "use your head, Linnea. A matrix, with a sufficiently trained telepath, can produce energy—right? What little mining we have on Darkover is done with a matrix circle to locate

and teleport the minerals to the surface—right? We make do with small use of metals because we do not

want factories and manufacturing industry, but for the small amount we use, we have technology

sufficient to our needs, or did, until recently."

"Yes, but the human expenditure—"

"Can be compensated. A matrix, operated by a trained telepath, can substitute for conventional aircraft.

And so we have use of aircraft only in emergency; we do not use it wastefully. And there is

communication: we on Darkover have no need of long range mechanical communications equipment."

"Right—" The main function of the relays on Darkover, especially now, was the long distance

transmission of messages.

"The Empire has long since realized what telepaths would be good for," Regis said: "in space, for communication. For the controlling of mechanical equipment when ordinary machinery fails, through

levitation or energon-control; any child with a matrix can see into the structure of matter enough to

reverse oxidation or metal fatigue, for instance. The bottleneck is the small supply of telepaths—and the general unwillingness of Darkovans to collaborate with the Empire. None of us has been available for

study. We don't know ourselves how we use these old sciences. The few efforts made to study these

things have lost out to human failures. But there must be a way, and now is the time to try it."

"What are you going to do?" Linnea shrank from trying to read his thoughts directly.

"I am going to demand that the relays send out a call to every telepath on Darkover," Regis said, "with all the authority of Hastur,
with all that means
."

Linnea met his eyes briefly and shrank from the contact. Regis seemed, at that moment, almost

superhuman, and she thought of the old legends of the Son of Hastur, who was more than human—and

Regis had once wielded the Sword of Aldones, forged for the hand of a god. Which was another way of

saying that he had somehow managed to tame and use forces of the human mind which were

incomprehensible to the ordinary person.

She seized on a minor aspect of this;

"Can we shut down the relay towers and pull them all in here? Can we afford to do away with what little technology we do have? We'd be barbarians, Regis."

"Yes," Danilo said unexpectedly, "Darkover takes the telepaths, the work of the relays, entirely too much for granted. Shut down the towers for a few months or years and let our world see what it would

be like without the telepath powers. Within a month they'll rise up and stop letting us be killed off one by one. There was a time when a man who laid a rude hand on a Keeper would have been tortured to

death. Now they can slaughter women and children without anyone even caring."

"Are you saying that we could stop what they're doing to our world just by telepath powers?" Linnea asked.

"No, I don't think so," Regis replied. "There is too much physical damage to the planet, I suspect. But we can find out who is doing it, and stop them. And we can, perhaps, trade on even terms with the Empire,

for the help we need now. In any case, it's time to stop playing and take the telepath project seriously.

Otherwise we are going to go the way of the chieri; and there are plenty of people in the Empire who

wouldn't regret us at all. That would leave Darkover wide open for the kind of exploitation they want.

We're standing in the door," Regis repeated, "and we've got to stay there."

It was a commonplace room, dull and dark and evil-smelling, and Missy lay huddled and quiet for long

periods at a time, hardly knowing what was going on either within or without her. Time had ceased to

have meaning, although she had long slowed her perceptions to see the world at least partly as those

others did; the ones she must perforce live with.

So many changes, so many strangenesses. And the strange touch now. For the first time, someone who

had returned the seeking touch, the thing she had never understood in herself. Always before, men had

been merely a means of survival. She had known herself alien, freak, unable to find anyone who was

able to meet her, join with her. Her body she had given freely to whoever wanted it. After the first few

times (even now she flinched from remembering that old horror, the discovery that what meant much to

her was beast-nothingness to them) it had meant nothing. But now:

Conner. Emotions long deadened, reaching and touching her (she could feel what had gone within him,

the strange fears and loneliness that had shaped him) in a way she hardly understood. She knew little of

her own emotions. She had never dared to be introspective, but she sensed that if she looked within

herself she would see and feel some such whirling horror as had shaped Conner's madness. And now, far

from him, she still felt the helpless loneliness of his need (how could she hold herself from running,

flying back—).

Missy, I need you. Missy, come back, without you I am maddened and lost again

And the blind outpouring of her name, the name which meant nothing to her (she had borne it only a few

years) but the ache of Conner's far-off crying for her. He had touched her innerness, and she could not

forget, she knew she could never forget. But she could get out of range . . . .

She could have stayed with Conner indefinitely, she knew, in what happiness was possible to the strange

thing she was. (Ah, but could she have borne to see him grow old, die?)

But the touch of
that other

Keral had reached right inside her, as if he had physically put out his hand and thrust it through her and inside her body and twisted something. He hated her. He feared her. And yet there had been something

between them, though he wasn't even a man. What was Keral and what had he
done
to her? And the

other, David, had been indifferent to her, to Missy, (for the first time the spell had failed) when she knew that no man alive could normally resist.

From that instant of grabbing rapport Missy had felt a weird flowing, twisting, changing in her; deep in

her body, deep in the forever unplumbed and unplumbable depths of her mind. She had known, then,

that no planet could hold them both, and she had no taste for killing. She had killed twice: once to

protect her life and once to protect her secret; but she loathed what it had done to her and would not kill again except in extremity.

Better to run again.

"Let me go," Conner said. "Look, I'm a spaceman; I know my way around the quarter. Darkover is a port like any other; if you've seen one, you've seen them all. I can hear the gossip of the quarter, and anything that's going on, I'd find out about."

He looked so lost and miserable that David felt wrenched with pity, in spite of his tendency to feel that he could, personally, survive Missy's absence from their midst. It was Rondo who said roughly, "Face it, Conner; good riddance to bad rubbish. The girl's a whore, and psychotic at that."

David said, "Conner, it's true. And there's something else; if it hadn't been for Desideria, she might very well have killed Keral. She's dangerous."

Jason Allison contributed: "We'll be alerted if she tries to leave the planet; there's a stop order at the spaceport. But I'm afraid that without her own cooperation we have no authority—"

"I'll keep her from hurting anyone else," Conner said miserably, "but I must find her, I
must!
"

It was Desideria who came, unexpectedly, to Conner's aid. "I think Conner is right," she said. "A psychotic whore with full
laran
, psychokinesis and poltergeist factor running around loose on Darkover and hating the whole human race isn't anything I can contemplate without at least a dozen shudders. Go

ahead, Dave—and if I can help you, call on me."

The dim light in the room had faded to a dying glow and the dark sun was a drooping red coal in the sky

when Missy rose and smoothed her long hair, made herself beautiful with gestures so automatic that she

hardly needed to glance in the poor and cracked mirror in the room. She drew her light robe around her

and went out into the muddy street, picking her way carefully in her light shoes.

The "Red" sector of the spaceport city was the same on all planets; cheap bars and amusement centers, restaurants and pleasure houses, gambling halls and wineshops, of all kinds and status levels. Missy had

known them under a couple of dozen suns. Darkover was a little colder than most, a little more

brilliantly lit. She moved from bar to bar, slowly, calculating and assessing each place the moment she

stepped inside. Usually she could sum up the clientele, their average salary and the tone of the place

within four or five minutes, and in most of them she kept her loose hooded cloak flung over her hair and

behaved with modest detachment, so that few noticed her at all; and those who did saw only a small,

slight girl, perhaps a spaceman's or port official's young daughter, possibly waiting for someone and

quite unaware of her unrespectable surroundings. Even in the others she kept her appeal muted and

gently rebuffed all advances until she spotted her desired prey.

He looked prosperous. His uniform told Missy at once that he was the second officer of an Empire-

sponsored passenger ship—in short, he had authority and position, as well as wealth.

The officer raised his eyes from his drink to see a young girl, exquisitely pretty, with masses of loose, copper-toned hair falling like a cloud around her slender face, eyeing him with deep and luminous gray

eyes. The impact of the eyes was such that afterward he felt confused and could never explain why he

moved toward her, like a man under a spell. He was no novice with women—no ship's officer would be,

certainly not one who wore on his stripes the seven small jewels indicating service on seven planets—

but words almost deserted him; he could only say, like a confused youngster, "Aren't you cold? In that light dress, on a planet like this?"

Missy's smile was gently enigmatic. "I'm never cold," she said, "but I'm sure we could find somewhere warmer than this."

He wondered, afterward, why an approach so obvious had seemed, in the enchantment of glamour that

seemed to fall around her, new and strangely fascinating. He had stayed under the spell all during the

next hour, of which he remembered very little; he was still under the spell when he followed her through

the dimmed and darkening streets to the mean little room. She had asked nothing of him. Long

experience had taught her that afterward men were even more eager, more generous. She did not know

why; she put it down to the curious glamour she could throw over herself at such times. She had no real

doubt that afterward she could persuade him to smuggle her aboard his ship. Not less than ten times

before this, a ship's officer or captain had risked his career to do so and then thanked her for the

privilege. It was balm and reassurance to feel, within herself, the pressure of his driving need and hunger

—after her failure with David (was that Keral's doing?) she had needed that assurance desperately, to

ward off the terrible sensation of change, of not knowing herself.

His hands, his touch, his mouth on hers had become desperate, insistent. She lay back, allowing him to

undress her. Her eyes were enormous, brilliant, and the ship's officer moved like a man in a dream,

fumbling, excited fingers stripping away the light silken garments—

And then his rough hands struck her, knocking Missy half across the room, and his harsh, suddenly

enraged voice, sick with disillusion and fury:

"Damned, filthy, stinking pervert! Lousy bastard of an
ombrédin
—I heard Darkover was full of you goddam lice but I never saw one—"

Cold claws of icy terror closed around Missy's heart. In the cracked, blurred mirror she had barely seen

her own face, but now with a merciless clarity it gave back the naked body, the unbelievable and insane

alterations there. She stared from the naked, raging man, advancing on her with fists upraised, and still unbelieving, cowered away.

This couldn't be happening! This was impossible!
And in a fit of mad illogic:
somehow Keral did this to
me
… as she stared down, her enormous eyes dilated to blackness, at her own body, as if she were

trapped in an insane amusement park mirror which gave back not her own familiar body, but a pale,

undeveloped and yet unmistakable reflection of the furious man's own conformations; her breasts still

there but shrunken, and below them, unmistakable, small but there, the pink protrusion of a male

genital…

Missy screamed, less from the pain of the blow than from panic, horror. She screamed again as the man's

fists found her face; fumblingly, she put up her slender hands to shield her face. She did not even

understand the mad abuse he was pouring on her. She was beyond hearing, making only the faintest

movement to ward off the savage and brutal blows. She felt blood break from her lip, felt a rib crunching under his kick.

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