The Whiskerly Sisters (9 page)

So there she was on the net in all her virtual glory, resembling some kind of surreal marketing campaign for the forlorn and dysfunctional. Jax seriously doubted she’d get a hit and that made her feel, at one and the same time, both reassured and anxious. As she lay back on the pillow in the haven of her double bed, contemplating the disorder of her bedroom, she could only keep repeating to herself, “Shit, what have I done?”

Incredible! Within twenty-four hours, twenty messages had dropped into her inbox. Jax was overwhelmed and somehow relieved by the attention she was getting from the male hopefuls on DesperDates. Over the next few weeks, it seemed like the whole single male population was interested in her and still the emails kept flowing in. Admittedly most of them weren’t local. She had received emails from as far away as the USA, New Zealand and Hong Kong. The days when more than a short bus ride away was considered casting your net too wide were gone and, in the new age of instant communication, it appeared that a girl might be expected to cross the ocean in search of a date. Flushed with e-success, Jax set aside an hour each day to respond to her new far flung fan club. She figured that since they had bothered to contact her, the least she could do was respond.

Jax Log – Play Mate 14:

Jabba the Hut:

Hi there, read your profile and you seem so nice and look so lovely that I thought I would drop you a line. All the best Jabba.

Hi Jabba, thank you for your kind words. How are you getting on with this site? Have you been on here long?

Hi sassy lady, no I only recently joined and you are the first person I contacted. How lucky am I that your profile came up straight away? Love the photo of you in the red. What kind of top is that? Is it underwear? You look really sexy. Xx

Hi Jabba, again thank you for saying such nice things. I’m glad you liked the photo of me. Is there one of you? – It would be great if you could return the favour…?? I’d prefer to see who I’m writing to.
Oh and just for info, I am not the kind of person who posts photographs of herself in her undies on the net!!

Hi gorgeous, not one to argue but it looks like a bra to me. Do you have webcam? If you do, I’d love to see you full length wearing that top. What size bra are you anyway? I only wish I could send you my photo but my pc and the dating site just don’t seem to be compatible and I’m having difficulty uploading anything. Have you got any other photos of yourself? If so, why not upload them too? Xxx

Jabba, you seem very preoccupied with photos of me and what I look like and this from someone who is not so keen on showing me what he looks like. Anyway enough of this photo stuff – why don’t you tell me more about yourself? I notice you are an IT Manager – what do you do exactly? Care to tell me about your hobbies? Maybe how you spend your free time, that kind of thing?

Hi J, my job is really boring. I manage servers offsite for clients. I spend alternate weekends with my kids and I love all sports – more of a spectator these days than a participant though. And I’m into the arts – well, artistic photography, which is why I am so interested in seeing more of you. You really are very photogenic – would you consider modelling for me sometime? I bet you have a drawer full of interesting lingerie for me to snap you in. xxx

Jabba, sorry, is it me? You don’t seem to be listening. I said enough of the photo stuff. This is not working for me – you do not seem to want to KNOW anything about me or SAY anything very much about yourself. Good luck with your search. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Jax Log – Playmate 7

Slow boat to China

Hello there my name is Bobby and I work as a Director for a Publishing Company. I would like to get to know you better and will be on this site at 10pm tonight. Be there and let’s talk. B

Hi Bobby, thank you for your message. I was unable to log on yesterday evening as I had a previous engagement. Unusual name. Why did you choose Slow Boat to China as a handle? Take care. Jax

Jax, well I did wait for you and was disappointed when you did not appear. I want to talk to you in person. When will you next be online and at what time? Can we cam as I would also like to see what you look like? I called myself that name because my friends tell me I am laid back and easy going – like a slow boat to China. Bobby

Bobby, I usually log on at about 7pm for an hour if I’m home. I should be online on Wednesday evening and can talk to you then. Jax

Wednesday is five-a-side night and I won’t be in until 10pm. Can we make it later?

Bobby – sorry missed you again. J

I hope you are not just wasting my time. I waited for you for an hour on Wednesday night from 10pm until 11pm. I will be online on Friday evening at 7pm to talk to you then. Be there. I really want to get to know you better. Bobby xx

Bobby – I’m out Friday night

You are just like all the rest, playing with a man’s feelings. I have given you every chance to talk to me and you just have not made the effort. I am now blocking you. Time waster!

Jax Log – Playmate 26

Stargazer125

Hi J, I think you and I would make a great match – pity about the distance. Love the idea of your crazy things. The craziest thing I ever did was to jump out of a plane at 50,000 feet.

Hi Stargazer, I know just how you feel. I have also flown with that airline
☺

J, omg, a sense of humour AND good looks. You are too much.

Stargazer – lol! So many compliments – you are making my head swell. What did you get up to this weekend?

Hi J, Sorry for the delay in replying. Well on Saturday I got up before dawn and went for a ride on the bike. The roads were empty. Everything was quiet and cold. There was a surprisingly heavy frost. I saw the sun come up. When I got home, I cooked myself a huge fry up. What did you do?

Stargazer – compared to that, my weekend was boring. Don’t you just love the look of frosted cobwebs? You must have been famished when you got back – no wonder you needed a fry up. Maybe one day, I can join you on one of your dawn raids?????

Hi J, wow! Do you know how to ride pillion? Fantastic. I sometimes come your way for meetings. How about I look you up when I am next your way? Here’s my mobile. Text me – weekday evenings are best. Sometimes my mobile is switched off when I am with clients, but keep trying xx

Stargazer, great to talk to you in person Thursday night. Missed you online this weekend. Maybe you were out on the bike????

Jax Log – Playmate 37

Soulm8

Hi there Jacqueline, I just felt I had to get in touch with you. I really enjoyed reading your profile. You seem like a woman after my own heart. You look beautiful in your photograph, but you sound like a real gentle and sweet lady. I am a construction engineer with an 8 year old daughter. My wife died four years ago of breast cancer and I have been through a tough time, but I feel I am now ready to reach out to find the woman of my dreams. I am looking for my soul mate, for someone I can share the rest of my life with; someone who is happy to be a homemaker and help me care for my daughter. Does that sound like something you would like to do? I do hope you get in touch. I am honest, reliable, hardworking and 100% genuine. Yours Desmond, Georgia, USA

Dear Desmond, thank you for getting in touch. I am sorry to hear about your wife. It must have been very difficult for your daughter to lose her mother when she was only four. I don’t know whether I would call myself sweet and whether or not I am a woman after your own heart remains to be seen. My own children have grown and flown and I can’t say that I am looking to be stepmother to anyone at this stage, but thank you for your compliments. The USA is too far for any kind of real relationship don’t you think? Happy to be penfriends though. Tell me more about your life in the States. Regards Jacqueline

Dear Jacqueline, I knew I was right about you. Your honesty shines through and I am looking for a really honest woman to share my life with. Please do not put yourself down – I am certain you are a very sweet lady. I too am a very honest, very genuine man. Life has been hard for me but although I will never forget my wonderful wife, I am ready to move on and believe you are the woman of my dreams, the woman I can build a future with. Do not worry about being a mother again – I am sure my daughter will love you. My email address is
[email protected]
. Please put my addy into your contacts so we can IM each other. Desmond xxx

Dear Desmond, I have added you to my account. Not sure about the practicalities of this given the time difference – there are not going to be many windows when we can talk directly to each other. Never mind, we can still email each other. As I said, happy to be penfriends and learn about your life in the States, but anything more would be impractical. Take care. Jax

Darling, do not worry about the details. We are meant to be together. When I look at your beautiful face and the light shining in your eyes, I feel so uplifted. You have made an incredible impression on my life. I wake up singing; I whistle throughout the day and go to work happy. My friends have noticed a difference in me and ask what is happening. I have told them all about you and they rejoice at the joy within me. And all because of you. When I take little Aimee to church, I go down on my knees to thank God that I have found you. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and hope you do too. I cannot wait for us to be together. Aimee sends her love. Goodnight my angel, your Desmond xxxxx

Desmond, whoa, slow down. We are barely off first base – how can someone you hardly know give you such joy? I think you are running before you can walk and giving me all kinds of attributes that I simply do not possess. Please stop. J

My darling, you are worrying unnecessarily. The Lord has set you aside for me. I know it and I thank him for you and all that you are from the bottom of my soul. I just know that we will be happy together. I understand that this is all new and strange for you, but I have great faith and belief in our future together. You will make me a wonderful wife and I will be a faithful, supportive husband. We will have a beautiful church wedding and a marvellous life together. Aimee is so excited for us both. All my friends are looking forward to meeting you.

Desmond, please stop this. It is ridiculous. I am NOT coming to America and furthermore since I am only just out of a relationship, I am not ready, nor do I want, to get married. And what makes you think I desire a church wedding? I am an atheist. Jax

Oh my love, please do not say that. My religion is very important to me. I would very much like to welcome you into my community and into my faith. The Lord walks with me every day and He has brought you to me. Do not worry, my angel, I will assist in bringing you to Him. He will be in our marriage and in our hearts forever. Trust in me as I trust in you and all will be well. I love you with all my heart. This weekend I took Aimee to our log cabin in the hills and we walked in the forest and spent quality time together. I cannot wait to share quality time with you. Your own Desmond xx

My angel, I have not heard from you in days. Are you sick? Are you hurt? I am worrying about you. Please stay in touch with me. Love Desmond xx

Jacqueline, where have you gone to? Please respond. I care about you. D x

Desmond, I have not been in touch because I find all these declarations of love and marriage flattering but unrealistic. We have not met. We don’t know each other except for a few emails. How can you love someone you don’t know? How can you want to marry me – you have not met me? You do not know anything about me or I about you. You have a responsibility to your daughter. You cannot just bring a stranger into your home and expect Aimee to treat her like a mother. Get it into your head. I am not coming to America and I am not marrying you. Jacqueline.

Darling, you just have cold feet that’s all. People with little or no belief in the Lord find it difficult to understand the confidence that those of us in the Lord are able to show when we put our trust in him. I will slow down and try to understand that you are not yet of my faith, but you will understand and you will rejoice when we are together. I look at your beautiful face and know that our life together will be so happy. You do not see with the eyes of faith like I do so how can you know? I must understand that and make allowances for you. I have just brought Aimee home from school and am fixing her some supper but I am thinking of you. A friend is coming over to look after her for me tonight as I have to go back to work to complete some paperwork for the bridge my Company is building. I cannot wait for you to come over and count the days till you say I do. I know you will come to love me as I love you. Desmond xx

Dear Desmond, you are building a bridge – how fantastic. I would not know where to begin. What else have you built? Do you own the Construction Company? Do you work for it? I hope Aimee enjoyed her supper. Jax

My angel, I long for the day when you tell me you love me. I just know it will be soon but in the meantime, my love for you must be enough for both of us. I own my Company and I have many employees. It is a big responsibility. We have built many things here, but this bridge is the biggest project so far. I enjoy the work that I do and one day I hope to build you a house here in my town. In the meantime, good night my angel. Your Desmond xxx

Jax Log – Playmate 46
Intellygent

Hi Jax, thank you messaging me. What can I tell you about myself? I run my own business. I suppose you could call me a cross between a scientist and an entrepreneur. I was born in Portugal, but brought up and educated in the states. I am into heavy metal music – particular favourite is Led Zeppelin, but I also enjoy a wide range from jazz to Leonard Cohen. I am a dedicated triathlete. I don’t watch a lot of TV except
Frasier
, which is a must. At weekends, I usually have my kids over part of the time – I have two, 12yrs and 14yrs, both girls. I collect classic bikes and am the proud owner of a 1930’s Rudge, which I am currently restoring. What about you? Any kids? Any hobbies?