Ginny could hardly breathe. Sex had got better since that first time. A bit. She would discuss it with Becca, she decided. Perhaps there was something else she should be doing. Perhaps it was the Ball holding her back. Or perhaps, well, that was it – all there would ever be.
She tried to think back. ‘Er, two weeks ago,’ she told him. He didn’t even break rhythm. ‘Approximately.’
He exhaled loudly. And came. ‘That’s all right then,’ he said into her ear. ‘No worries.’
Yeah. Her own fault. Women had to take care of that sort
of stuff. They were the ones who’d suffer the consequences. How could you rely on a bloke?
She thought of her mother in Sicily. She’d phoned again last night before work, done the usual parent small talk. ‘So … Tell me all the news. What have you been up to? How’s everything?’
Impossible questions. She wasn’t a newsreader with an autocue, she wasn’t going to tell her mother what she’d been
up to
(Oh, yes and I might have got myself pregnant; not sure yet, I’ll let you know when I’ve done the test) and
everything
was too big a subject to even contemplate.
Ginny had wanted to ask about the villa – she really had. She’d wanted to ask her mum how she was, and she’d even wanted to tell her she missed her. But she didn’t say any of these things. And when the call ended, she wanted to cry. Because everything was going wrong. Well, one thing in particular.
She walked back to Nonna and Pops’s, the blue-and-white packet stashed safely in her bag. It was raining now; some summer this was turning out to be. Bet it wasn’t raining in Sicily …
Nonna was making dough in the kitchen; the scent of it, sweet, oily and mellow filled the whole house with well-being. Yum. Ginny stopped to grab an almond biscuit on her way upstairs. Did being pregnant make you eat more? Well, you were eating for two … Shit.
She had half an hour before she was due at the Bull and Bear to help with lunches. Time enough.
In her bedroom she pulled the instructions out of the packet, read them once without digesting a word and then another twice to make sure she understood. Then she took the thing into the bathroom to pee over.
Now she just had to wait.
That was the hardest part. She washed her hands and examined her face in the mirror. No spots for a change – that was good. Though on the other hand, wasn’t clear skin another sign of pregnancy?
The doorbell went. She heard Nonna go to answer it. She could hear conversation. Surprise in Nonna’s voice; and another voice – a soft, lazy drawl. Something didn’t sound quite right. She looked at her watch and resisted checking the electronic panel. Please, don’t be a line …
She poked her breasts experimentally. They didn’t seem especially tender or swollen. That was a good sign, wasn’t it?
‘I suppose you’d better come in,’ she heard Nonna say. ‘She’s upstairs.’
Uh-oh
. The Ball shimmered inside her. But who would it be? Becca? Ben?
‘Ginny, dear,’ Nonna called up the stairs.
‘Yes, Nonna?’ she called back, glancing at the blue panel, stalling for time.
‘Could you come down?’
Right. Brilliant. Spot on. ‘In a sec,’ she called back. ‘Can you just hang on while I—’ What? See if I’m pregnant …?
She checked her watch again. One more minute. It seemed to take an eternity to pass. She grimaced at herself in the mirror,
tried to touch her nose with the tip of her tongue. How did people do that?
Why
would people do that?
Finally, she took a deep breath and looked at the little panel …
‘Ginny?’
Shit. ‘Coming.’
She took the steps two at a time and stood in the doorway of the lounge. Inside the room, a man of about forty was sitting in Nonna’s best armchair with the printed roses and lace antimacassars. He looked completely out of place. His hair was sun-bleached, untidy and greying and in one ear was a tiny silver-hooped earring. He was wearing faded jeans and a T-shirt with a picture of a goat on it. He looked vaguely familiar.
‘G’day,’ he said. He stood up. ‘So you’re Ginny?’
‘Yes.’ She looked at her grandmother.
‘My dear.’ Nonna looked very serious. ‘This will be a shock for you. It was a shock for me. You see … ’
The man stepped forwards. ‘Thing is, I’m your dad,’ he said. ‘Pleased to meet you at last, Ginny.’
In all the times Ginny had thought about her father – during the love and the hate, the longing and the resentment, the desperation and the grief – she had never once imagined him turning up in Pridehaven. When she’d pictured them meeting – and she had, oh, yes, she had – it had always been Ginny who found
him
, visited him in Australia, took him by surprise, made him regret – deeply regret – what he’d once thrown away. Not to be melodramatic … But: her childhood, her life, her love. So now she was pretty much gobsmacked. And, ‘Bloody hell’, was all she could say.
Her grandmother tutted. ‘It is the shock.’ She glared at him. ‘Turning up here like this, out of the sky … ’
‘Sorry.’ He addressed this to Ginny. ‘I had the other address. Tess’s address. That is, your mum’s address.’
‘How?’ asked Nonna.
‘She sent it to me a long time back, care of my sister in Newcastle.’ He smiled. ‘So I went to the house. I spoke to the woman next door.’
‘Lisa,’ said Ginny.
‘Lisa,’ he agreed.
‘And she gave you this address?’ Nonna sounded surprised. Ginny was surprised too – Lisa was normally very protective.
‘She did.’ He shrugged. ‘Although I might have misled her a bit.’
Nonna’s hands were on her hips. ‘What did you tell her – exactly?’
‘That I was an old friend.’ He caught Ginny’s eye and despite the fact that she was still in shock, she had to smile.
‘You could have called us,’ she said.
He spread his hands. They were brown and kind of weathered. They seemed like the sort of hands that were used to hard work, outdoor work. ‘If I’d phoned, you might have told me where to go.’
Ginny nodded. ‘I might.’ But no. Curiosity would have won out. She couldn’t help wanting to know more about him. Like her, he was tall and slim; like her, his cheekbones were prominent in his face. Like her, he had a wide mouth and his hair was blonde. It gave her a weird feeling, to see this man and to know …
‘Could I take you out to lunch?’ He was giving her a searching look too. She guessed that he was absorbing stuff about her just like she was about him. ‘I just want to talk. After that you can still tell me where to go.’
Ginny thought about it. She liked the way he spoke, the way he wasn’t putting pressure on her. She glanced at her grandmother who was giving nothing away. She guessed that if she told him to sod off, he’d just shrug and go on his
way. But she didn’t want him to – not yet. She wanted to hear what he had to say.
‘I’ve got to work,’ she said.
‘Can I give you a lift?’
Ginny hesitated. A lift meant close proximity and she wasn’t sure she was ready. She felt her grandmother take a step towards her and knew that she would support whatever decision Ginny made.
Then he grinned. ‘I bought something pretty gorgeous on the way over,’ he said. ‘Take a look.’
‘What is it?’ She followed him to the window.
He twitched open Nonna’s net curtain. Nonna just kept her arms folded and suspicion on her face. Outside the house a bright orange VW camper van was parked – a classic.
‘Wow.’ Ginny couldn’t help it. He was right. It was gorgeous. ‘You’re on.’ She glanced at her grandmother once more. ‘All right, Nonna?’
Her grandmother nodded. ‘All right, my dear. If that’s what you want.’
He drove the van with an easy confidence. She could see why her mother had fallen for him.
‘Can I pick you up after work?’ he asked, when they got to the Bull and Bear. He had scored more Brownie points for not commenting on the fact that she worked in a pub, and not mentioning college or the fact that her mother was in Sicily. ‘Maybe we can go for a coffee or something, yeah?’
‘OK,’ she said. She slid open the door and jumped down. ‘Cool. I finish at three,’ she told him. ‘And thanks for the lift.’
In the loo at work, she sent Becca a text. ‘
Negative, thank Buddha. My dad turned up 2day. Weird or wot?
’
Tess’s mobile rang just as she was about to go for a dive. The best cure for a hangover was a swim. A dive – well, maybe not, but Tess had already made up her mind to explore the rock islands and marine life west of Cetaria Bay a little further.
It was her mother. She picked up. ‘Hello, Muma.’
‘Tess.’ Her mother’s voice sounded shakier than usual.
‘Is everything all right?’ She had spoken to Ginny only last night, but she felt the usual flutter of panic. She supposed for mothers it never quite went away.
‘Fine, fine.’ Her mother was quick to reassure. ‘But something has happened, my dear. Or perhaps I should say someone.’
Tess frowned. ‘You’re not making any sense. Is it something to do with Ginny? Is she OK?’
She could almost hear her mother taking deep breaths. ‘I don’t know quite how to tell you this, my dear,’ she said. ‘It is David.’
‘David?’
‘Yes. He turned up here this lunchtime. He’s come to see Ginny.’
David. Ginny. Eighteen years ago and yet it could have been yesterday …
When Tess had imagined this moment during her pregnancy, it had always been David who had handed her their baby.
But it wasn’t. It was her mother. She handed Tess her baby and she said. ‘It is a girl, my darling. It is a girl.’
Tess looked down at the tiny wrinkled face, shrouded and swathed in white cotton; felt the soft down of her hair, saw the unfocused eyes of her daughter.
‘She is beautiful,’ her mother said.
Tess held her to her breast, felt the first pull somewhere deep inside her as she rooted for the nipple. She had imagined it, yes, but she had never dreamed of what this moment would really be like. She wanted to hold her daughter to her breast for ever, she wanted to protect her with her own life; she knew she would always love her, no matter what.
‘Yes.’ Tess looked up at her own mother and saw that her eyes were filled with tears. She had known it too, this moment. Of course, she had known it too.
Tess reached for her mother’s hand and held it in her own. Hands and gazes locked in mutual recognition; mother and daughter. This was what it was all about, she thought. ‘Thanks, Muma,’ said Tess.
After her mother rang off, Tess tried calling Ginny – OK, she knew she was at work, but she had to try. And then she
decided to go for that dive anyway. She needed to think. Why on earth would David turn up after all these years? What did he want from her? And more to the point – what did he want with Ginny?
According to her dive map of the area, the natural reserve began just west of the beach, right here. She had been further into the Reserve before, of course, with Tonino in the boat. But one perfect afternoon which had now gone horribly wrong, was not going to stop her going that way again. This was her life and she was in control of it. She was not going to let the Robins, the Davids nor the Toninos of this world fuck it up. Whatever the reason. She would go for this dive and then she would speak with Ginny. And then …? She would see.
As she got her stuff together she thought of Tonino’s reaction if he saw her going into the water to dive again alone. Should she forego the beach dive and maybe drive along the coast a bit, hire a boat? And then she thought – bugger it. It was his problem. She wanted to do a beach dive from here. It was safer anyway and less hassle than going out in a boat alone. He could rant and rave all he liked – her welfare was not his concern.
It was another sunny day and there were a few tourists in the
baglio
when Tess made her way down to the bay; one family clustered around Tonino as he bent over the mosaiced surface of a round table outside his studio, using a sponge to press grout between some tiles. They were admiring the mosaics, including some candle holders made of slate and sea
glass, and two more tables with mosaiced surfaces that Tonino had brought outside.
They were asking him about one of the tables and he was giving them his full attention. At least it meant she didn’t have to speak to him.
Love
, she thought. Had he really said that?
Tess trudged by in her wetsuit, scuba tank on her back, fins in hand. He gave her a long, hard look and then turned back to the German tourists.
What did she expect? He had told her what had happened to his friend, he had told her what had happened to the girl he loved and also to his parents. And now he had told her what had occurred between their grandparents. It was a lot of baggage for one man to carry.
And now there was David …
The sea felt warmer than yesterday. Tess went in a little way, adjusted the mask, pulled on her fins and did the usual checks. There were a couple of swimmers out by the rocks today. She wondered if Tonino had warned them about the jellyfish.
She swam towards the rocks, floating down smoothly when the water got deep; staying relaxed, using the minimum of energy to conserve her air supply. By the rocks she could see some anthias feeding. The other swimmers had gone in now and Tess let herself enjoy the sensation of being alone in the ocean, with only the fish for company.
She let her mind wander as she poked around the crevices
of the rock, lifting boulders to reveal sea urchins and starfish and even some brightly coloured red mullet. It was so peaceful down here, so still.
So … David – for whatever reason – had turned up in Pridehaven. He had got hold of her mother’s address, spinning some yarn to Lisa – and Ginny had agreed to see him.
Well, she couldn’t blame her. He was her father, whether he’d always been there or not. She wasn’t a child – though hardly yet an adult, Tess had to admit. She could make her own choices. Still …
The water in places was a bright luminous green, the plant life and sponges varying shades of orange and purple. Tess let some weeds trail through her fingers. Neptune grass. It was magical down here. An underwater wonderland. Down here everything seemed so simple. Problems like Tonino and age-old family rivalry and all the other family stuff just didn’t exist. And that was part of the attraction.