The Twitter History of the World (6 page)

@LordRaglan
@LordLucan Advance rapidly to the front and try to prevent the enemy carrying away the guns
11.20am, October 24, 1848

@LordLucan
What does that even mean? Shall I check? Nah, can’t be arsed. Oi, @CavalryMen: attack, attack attack!
11.20am, October 24, 1848

@LordTennyson
Into the Valley of Death/Rode the six hundred… Cannon to the right of them/Cannon to the left of them…
9.12pm, October 24, 1848

A misunderstood order during the Crimean War sent over 600 British cavalrymen running into
heavy Russian gunfire. Up to 200 died and the event was immortalised in a poem from Lord Tennyson.

@JWMarshall
Score! Just struck gold in San Francisco! Gonna party hard tonight. RT if you wanna join me!
6.20pm, January 24, 1849
[ReTweeted by @GoldHunter and 29,999 others.]

@EdwinDrake
To everyone who called me ‘crazy’: I just struck oil.
So we Americans are now in the oil trade. What could possibly go wrong?
8.12pm, August 28, 1859

The discoveries of huge reserves of gold and oil in America caused huge excitement in the 19th century.

@JohnSedgwick
What? Men dodging this way for single bullets? I am ashamed of you. They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance…
11.19am, May 9, 1864

Union Army General John Sedgwick died during the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House, just seconds after chastising his troops.

@AbrahamLincoln
Such a relief that the whole #Confederacy thing is over. For a while back there I was worried it was going to get even nastier.
11.11pm, April 9, 1865

@AbrahamLincoln
Off to the theatre tonight. I’ve heard there are some really funny moments in the play. Got a private box. #swag
5.12pm April 14, 1865

@AbrahamLincoln
LOL! This play is really funn
8.23pm April 14, 1865

The presidency of Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States, was dominated by the American Civil War. Less than a week after the Confederate general Robert E Lee surrendered, Lincoln was assassinated during a performance at Ford’s Theatre in Washington DC. The assassin waited until the auditorium was filled with laughter to strike.

@GrahamBell
Just been awarded a patent for a new product called the telephone. We can use them to Tweet people.
4.45pm, March 2, 1876

@GrahamBell
We’ll not only be able to Tweet on them – we’ll be able to speak to people using our actual voices!
4.46pm, March 2, 1876

@Graham’s_mother_in_law
@GrahamBell This is great news, now we can speak every day! #justsaying
4.46pm, March 2, 1876

@GrahamBell
Is it possible to un-invent something? #justasking
4.47pm, March 2, 1876

@Graham’s_mother_in_law
@GrahamBell Awww, come on – it’s good to talk!
4.48pm, March 2, 1876

Alexander Graham Bell is credited with the invention of the telephone. Sometimes it seems like a good idea, sometimes less so.

@TheUK
@Zanzibar Oi you – it’s war!
9.00am, 27 August, 1896

@19thCenturyTweeter
Fight! Fight! Fight! *Grabs popcorn*
9.01am, 27 August, 1896

@Zanzibar
@TheUK Okay, you win!
9.38am, 27 August, 1896

@19thCenturyTweeter
Oh, borrrr-rring!!! *Sighs*
9.41am, 27 August, 1896

The war between the United Kingdom and the Zanzibar Sultanate was the shortest of history, lasting – by most estimates – a mere 38 minutes.

@VictorianToddler
Can’t wait till I grow up. When I’m four I’ll start working in the mine and by the time I’m eight I want to be a chimney sweep. #ambitions
4.12pm, June 21, 1842

@VictorianTeenager
Anyone looking for business? I’ll give you a good time in return for a Twitter shout-out.
11.34pm, August 30, 1851

@VictorianAdult
Just off to work: an 18-hour day of needlework.
The pay? Practically nowt.
6.12am, February 10, 1872

@QueenVic
The important thing is not what they think of me, but what I think of them.
4.22pm, November 22, 1897

The Victorian era was a time of child labour, rampant prostitution and widespread poverty.

@OrvilleWright
Me and @WilburWright have just flown an airplane for the first time! #swag
3.12am, December 17, 1903

@WilburWright
I know, right? This is a game-changer for travel: no more frustrating delays or hanging round for hours!
3.12am, December 17, 1903

@AirHostess
The flight is delayed. Did you pack those bags yourself? Can you turn your phone off & put your head-rest up please? Have some plastic food.
3.13am, December 17, 1903

@OrvilleWright
Sheesh. Okay, nobody said it was perfect. But what could possibly go wrong?
3.12am, December 17, 1903

@MohamedAtta
We have some planes. Stay where you are and you won’t get hurt.
8.52am, September 11, 2011

The Wright brothers, a pair of bike mechanics from Ohio, invented air travel when they flew the first aeroplane in 1903. Commercial and then passenger travel soon took off.

‘Mr Bell: instead of “amazeballs” could you just use “hello”.’