The Tainted (The Tainted Series Book 1) (15 page)

The crack from the slap reverberated in the silence that followed it. The shock on Maverick’s face resembled that on Rebecca’s, and she slowly took a few steps back from the others.

“How dare you come waltzing back here like nothing’s wrong. Do you have any idea what we’ve been through while you were running off to God knows where? No, you don’t, because you didn’t even bother checking in with us! We could have all been killed by the Aillil while you were away and you wouldn’t have even known!”

Maverick’s eyes grew wider as Etain’s rant continued.

“As the leader of this crew, I expect you to show some responsibility. How can I possibly count on you when I don’t even know where you are? Ricky, I’ve been so worried…”

Etain’s shoulders slouched forward as her tough façade began to break. Maverick swiftly stepped forward and gathered her up in his arms. At first, Etain held herself rigid, but as he continued to hold her, she slowly relaxed and eventually threw her arms around his back.

Rebecca watched them from just inside the doorway and, as it became clear that neither of them were going to acknowledge her presence, she slowly slunk back inside. Her excitement had completely disappeared and she now felt slightly sick to her stomach. She turned around, but instead of heading to the kitchen, where she knew the others were beginning breakfast, Rebecca made her way back up the stairs to her room.

Faolan was standing at the top of the staircase, watching as Rebecca made her way up.

“Not going to breakfast this morning?” Faolan asked as Rebecca reached the top.

“No. I’m not very hungry.”

Faolan was silent for a moment, her inscrutable face continuing to stare at Rebecca. “Maverick’s back.”

She hadn’t said it as a question, though, from the way Faolan watched Rebecca, it was clear she was searching for some reaction.

Rebecca looked away, down the hallway, “He’s on the front porch if you’d like to talk to him.” And without another word, she walked off towards her room.

Throughout the morning, Rebecca remained hidden away. From time to time, she could hear the others laughing and talking downstairs, but she made no effort to leave her room. She was fully aware that she was pouting, and that her not going down to greet Maverick would look strange to the others, but frankly she didn’t care.

Rebecca spent the morning reading books, writing letters to Emily, and fussing around in her room, but no matter what she did, her mind always wandered back to the image of Maverick and Etain holding each other so closely. Every time she thought of it, her cheeks would begin to burn and her stomach start to ache again. She didn’t know what to think. In fact, she didn’t even want to think about it at all, but the image continued to haunt her.

Finally, around midday, she couldn’t take it any longer. Pulling on her trainers and a thick sweater, Rebecca slipped out of her room and snuck downstairs. She could hear at least a few of the crew members hanging out in the TV room, so, being as quiet as possible, she crept past the open door and made her way out the back of the house and into the garden.

The brisk, fresh air tingled in her lungs as she inhaled deeply, and the chill winter weather seeped right through her sweater. But Rebecca only paused momentarily, breathing deep the sweet cool air, before speeding off through the garden and out into the woods.

As far as she knew, they were still not allowed to come out here, but that wasn’t going to stop her. She needed the openness and peacefulness of the woods to clear her thoughts and calm her down.

Rebecca had almost made it out to the large rock when she heard a branch crack behind her, making her come to an immediate halt.

“I thought you promised me that you weren’t going to do anything stupid again.”

Maverick walked up from behind and stopped directly in front of her, blocking the path. His face was stern as he silently stared down at her.

Rebecca found herself fighting against the urge to get closer to him. As angry and confused as she felt about him right now, the strange, overwhelming need to be with him, be held by him, was still there.

Breaking away from his stare, Rebecca looked off into the trees, “I needed some fresh air.”

“And you couldn’t open your window?”

Rebecca glared off into the distance, still refusing to look up at him, “You know what I meant.” She stepped to the side and started to walk around him, but Maverick moved in front of her.

“And you know that no one is supposed to be out here right now?”

“Yes, I’m well aware of that.” Rebecca took a step to the other side, but Maverick cut her off again.

“Oh, so then you
do
understand that we don’t think it’s safe for anyone to be out in the woods.”

“Yes, I do.” As she made to move again, Maverick grabbed onto her, finally forcing her to look up at him.

“Rebecca, what’s wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? You didn’t even come down to say hello to me when I got back.”

“Yes, I did,” Rebecca’s anger got the better of her. “I was there on the porch with Etain. I saw her hit you and I saw…I saw you holding her…” Rebecca’s voice trailed off as her cheeks started to burn with embarrassment at her own words, her own admission.

Maverick’s tight grip on her arms loosened slightly, though he did not let go. His stern face broke, falling back into the look of pain that had become so familiar. “Becs, you can’t be jealous of…”

“I’m
not
jealous of her.” Rebecca snapped, cutting Maverick off, as she glared up at him.

Maverick’s brow furrowed with anger and impatience. “Etain is my best and oldest friend, but she’s
just
a friend, nothing more. I promise.”

Rebecca’s mind was racing. Even if she couldn’t admit it to Maverick, she
was
jealous of Etain, and she hated herself for it. But how could she not be? Maverick had always kept her at a distance, confessing to her his feelings and yet never allowing her too close to him. Then today, when she’d seen Maverick and Etain embrace, and the intimacy between them, she’d realized that Maverick was showing Etain so much more affection than he’d ever shown her. Her anger and hurt that had sprung from this realization had threatened to consumer her.

Rebecca’s emotions started to get the better of her, so she looked away, towards the forest floor. “I can’t…I just can’t do this anymore,” She took a step back, pulling away from him.

“Becs…” Maverick reached for her, desperately grabbing onto one of her arms, but Rebecca continued to back away.

“This just isn’t fair to me, Maverick…” Rebecca tried to pull her arm free of his grasp, but his hand clenched down even tighter.

“Rebecca, stop. Don’t act like this.” His voice was strong, but it held a hint of desperation in it. He continued to clasp firmly onto her arm, preventing her from pulling away.

Rebecca kept her gaze away from him, feeling her anger build up inside. “Let go of me, Maverick,” she demanded as she again tried to free her arm from his grasp. But his hand wouldn’t budge.

After a moment, Rebecca slowly turned and looked up at him. His face was pained and frightened as he stared down at her anxiously. Her heart sank in her chest as she whispered, “Let me go…”

Almost instantly, Maverick brought his hands up around her face and, leaning in, kissed her intensely. There was an urgency to it at first, as if all the tension that had built up between them was escaping through this kiss. He moved his hands back, up through her hair, pulling her even closer to him. She felt his strong, warm body press up against hers as every fiber of her being yearned for his touch. Eventually, their kiss slowed, becoming more passionate. He kissed her lips so lightly that it caused her whole body to shiver.

Finally, he pulled away, though he kept a hand on the back of her head.

He searched her eyes for a moment, fear still written across his face. “I can’t lose you, Becs. I don’t know what I’d do.”

Rebecca’s heart was beating so fast she thought it might leap right out of her chest. She was confused and worried, unsure of how to process what had just happened, or what he was saying. “Maverick…I just don’t know if…”

“Stop. I know what I told you before, but I can’t keep lying to myself about how I feel--I can’t live like this anymore. Please Becs, please believe that I’m telling the truth.”

Rebecca stared silently up at him for a while, desperately searching for any sign of a lie in his eyes. But there was none, only the same longing and fear of the unknown that was mirrored in her own eyes.

Eventually, she allowed her apprehension to melt away and she nodded lightly up at him.

Maverick shook his head slightly as a smile crept across his face, “I don’t know how you do this to me.”

Rebecca blushed and looked down again, unable to maintain his stare.

“I missed you,” he said, putting his hand under her chin and raising it up so that she would look at him. “When I was gone, I thought about you all the time. I wished you were there with me, dreamt about holding you again, wondered what it would be like to kiss you.”

His smile fell as he bent down, kissing her lightly on the lips and then, pulling her close, he enveloped her in his arms.

The urge to be near him took over, and Rebecca buried her head into his chest, allowing Maverick to draw her in even more tightly.

After a long silence, Rebecca spoke softly into his chest, “I was worried that something had happened to you while you were gone. We all were. You left for so long without any explanation…and…I didn’t know what I would do if you…” Her voice trailed off and she found herself unable to finish the sentence.

Maverick remained silent for a long time, continuing to hold her tightly. Finally, he took a long, deep breath and brought her away from him, so that he could again look her in the eyes.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you all needed me. I never meant to let everyone down like that. But, I’ll tell you what I told Etain: There are things happening--important things--that I can’t explain to you right now because it would put your safety at risk. I need you to trust me, Becs. I swear, I have your best interests at heart. Also, I promise that I’ll never leave again without telling you all where I’m going,
and
checking in with you while I’m gone.”

Rebecca stared at him quietly for a moment. It wasn’t the explanation she’d been looking for. In fact, it hadn’t felt like an explanation at all. She couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever he was hiding from every one had something to do with her--and that it was incredibly important.

Though she still felt uneasy, she nodded. After everything that had just happened between them, she didn’t feel like it was the right time to push the issue any further. Her emotions had already taken an intense roller coaster ride that day.

Taking her nod as a signal that their conversation had ended, Maverick pulled her into another deep, impassioned kiss, pressing her firmly up against himself.

Rebecca’s heart quickened and her skin began to tingle. Something about him always made her entire body feel as if she needed him to be closer, as if she could never get enough of his touch.

Finally, Maverick pulled away and brushed a few loose strands of hair back from her face. “It’s nice to be able to hold you this closely.”

Rebecca felt herself blush, “I might have missed you too, just a little.”

Maverick laughed and playfully squeezed her, “Hey! Look at you, actually opening up to someone! I’m impressed.”

Rebecca hit him playfully on his chest, “Don’t make me regret it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he whispered as he nuzzled his forehead against hers.

After one more tight squeeze, Maverick stepped back, holding Rebecca at arms length. “Now, Madam, might I escort you back to the house…or are you going to run off again and force me to carry you back?”

Rebecca rolled her eyes, “I’ll walk back, thank you. I just can’t stand being locked in that house, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way.”

They both turned and began to make their way back toward the house. After a few steps, Maverick reached out and grabbed onto one of Rebecca’s hands.

“I know, and I’m sorry. But I promise it’ll only be for a little while longer.”

“Really?” Rebecca looked over at him hopefully. “Why?”

“We’ve been here for too long. It’s time we moved. I need to discuss it with Etain, but assuming she can find a place, I’m hoping to get us out of here within the next few days.”

Rebecca sighed heavily, “Thank goodness. We’re going to get cabin fever if we have to hang out here much longer.”

They walked back together slowly, hand in hand, taking the time to enjoy each other’s company. Every once in a while, Rebecca would look over at Maverick and feel her stomach do a small flutter, and a slight smile would light up her face. He was hers. As strange as that statement sounded, it filled her heart with joy. The thick wall that had built up between them was gone, and she now felt as if she would never have to hold anything back from Maverick again. The only other person she felt so connected to, who she trusted this much, was Emily.

Maverick caught her looking at him right before they came into view of the house and, with a big smile, he pulled her toward him into a tight hug. “Please don’t be mad at me again.”

Rebecca laughed into his chest, “Well, then, don’t give me a reason to.”

Maverick pulled her back and gave her a serious look. Slowly, her own smile faded when she saw the sincerity of his expression. At last, he spoke, “Everything I do, I do to protect you. Please don’t ever forget that.”

“I won’t.”

Maverick drew her in for one last kiss and then, without another word, they made their way up towards the house, now keeping a healthy distance between them.

“I was so hoping for some sunshine and warmth,” Etain murmured as she slumped forward in her chair, sighing heavily. She was sitting in the main office, hunched over her laptop, staring glassy-eyed at the screen.

The extravagant room was located on the first floor, at the far end of the wing opposite the garden. Three walls were covered in dark wooden bookshelves that stretched all the way up to the ceiling. Each shelf was filled to the brim with a plethora of old books, the gold writing glistening off of their leather-bound spines. The far wall, at the back of the room, was an enormous paneled window with massive, lush, red velvet curtains pulled up on either side that perfectly framed the gorgeous view of the surrounding woods. The only furniture in the room was the over-sized, ornate, mahogany desk and the chocolate brown leather wingback chair, which sat directly in the center, in front of the large window. Etain could never be called short, but sitting in the grand chair, behind the immense desk, almost made her look like a child.