Authors: Kaitlyn Davis
Nonetheless, Jinji held tight to the dream that he still breathed, the hope that she could win back his trust, the prayer of a chance to try.
That wish was all she had.
It made her open her eyes every morning and say goodbye to the warm embrace of sleep, an embrace that could easily be everlasting if she let it.
Jinji breathed deeply, letting her chest stretch and expand while she welcomed the spirits into her vision.
There was one other way Jinji had learned to tell time in the dark. Her favorite way. A small indulgence. Once a day, between the screams when her fear seemed too strong and her grief too heavy, Jinji wove the elemental spirit threads.
The illusions came even easier since dueling the shadow, almost as though something had been unlatched inside of her, some gateway that had kept them blocked was now open. The first night, Jinji wove an entire forest around her—complete with a breeze, the warmth of the sun, the presence of her brother Janu—so real she wanted to leave it there, to pretend. But, Jinji had come to learn that the truth, hard as it was, needed to be accepted.
Most of the time.
Jinji sat straighter, ignoring the strain of her muscles, and closed her eyes. Hands limp at her sides, the spirits heeded her mental command, letting her dreams unfold in real life.
She opened her lids.
And there he stood, so real, red hair glowing in the dark.
Rhen
.
Fingers inching forward on their own accord, Jinji's body yearned for him, for his comfort. For a moment, she imagined this as truth.
Rhen stepped forward. His arm reached to open the bars, but his illusion stepped through them, ignoring the metal and meeting no resistance. Silent steps brought him closer, closer, until he was kneeling before Jinji—green eyes like a fire in the night, drawing her home.
His callused hand stretched forward, just enough for his palm to gently kiss her cheek, his thumb to rub her soft skin. And his touch felt real—warm and sturdy. That was how strong this illusion was tied, almost solid, so close to alive—so, so close.
Jinji's eyes began to water, remembering the truth—that this was false, all in her head.
But still, commanded by her thoughts, Rhen sat down next to her, opening his embrace and encircling her in his muscular arms. Her torso leaned in, letting the illusion hold her, letting the dream wash over her. His arms tightened, hugging her close, a touch that felt firm.
And then the tears came. Slowly at first. Then racking her body, shaking her limbs and scattering her breath.
It was the only time Jinji let herself cry—surrounded by the love she wished could be real. The only time she felt safe enough to let her fear surface, and her guilt.
A crack echoed down the hall.
Jinji sat up, alert. Rhen disappeared.
Time had run out.
Far away, boots clicked on stone.
Her heart skipped.
Somehow, Jinji knew they were coming for her. Dread filled her, threatening to boil over, but she hardened her muscles—fighting.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, Jinji promised herself that they would not break her. They would never see her cry. Her pain would not echo down these halls—there would be no screaming hour today.
The boots continued. Soft. Getting louder. The beat was steady. Slow. Menacing. Steps of complete control.
Jinji calmed her breath, firming her resolve.
The sound grew and moved closer.
Until she saw it. Orange light reflecting off the misted walls. A dull glow. Jinji shrank away, blinded by the brightness. Her eyes stung, but remained dry. Resolute.
Ghostly figures stepped into view, hidden behind the light that blocked her sight. Keys jingled. Voices grumbled, murmuring softly to each other.
An illusion
, Jinji thought as her terror mounted. She could weave one, pretend the cell was empty, that she had escaped.
The torch light grew stronger.
It was now or never. In a minute, the light would reach her toes, would travel up her dirty legs, would reveal her.
Her mind itched to keep pretending for as long as it took, to turn her illusions into real life and to live down here wrapped inside of them forever—in a place where her family lived and Rhen was beside her. A magical place.
A false place.
It will be all right
, the voice promised. Jinji wanted to shut it out, to throw her head against the wall and push the phantom from her mind, but she didn't. For the first time, not being completely alone was comforting.
The halo entered her cell, revealing black speckled feet and copper calves that looked pale for the first time.
It was too late.
The men stopped outside her bars. The key was inserted, the lock twisted, and the door opened.
Jinji clenched her teeth.
One man stepped forward into the glow of the fire, revealing his ruby garbed body. A member of the king's guard. Jinji recognized the uniform—she had pretended to wear it not too long ago.
Her eyes narrowed as he stepped closer, holding a small iron key in his hand.
"I am going to unlock these chains, do you understand?" he asked, voice soft, almost as though trying to calm her anxiety. But his face was still masked in shadow, hiding the truth in his eyes.
Jinji nodded. The skin around her ankles and wrists was exposed, scratched, and it burned. Now in the light, she could make out the red streaks of caked-over blood and other spots that glistened, fresh and stinging. Removing the weights would be a small relief.
Slowly, he stepped closer, trying not to alarm her. The rings unclasped, dropping to the floor with a resounding clang. One. Two. Three. Four. Echoes that Jinji hoped might lift the spirits of those around her.
"Can you stand?" he asked and offered a hand.
Jinji ignored it, using muscles she had not accessed in a while. Her thighs yelled at her, protesting, begging her to remain seated. But she rose, gritting her teeth the entire way up. Creaky bones cracked as she stretched, bringing life back into her battered body.
One step at a time, Jinji moved slowly across the cell. The closer she got to the exit, the more she wondered if it were all a trick. Were they about to slam the door in her face, laughing, like a sick game?
But she passed through the threshold, between the iron bars, and into the dark hall. Her feet didn't want to stop—they wanted to race into the abyss and keep going until she reached the sun. Jinji did not let them. Instead, she planted her toes and turned to face the captor behind her, his features now revealed in the light.
Shock—that was the word that came to mind. But Jinji couldn’t place it. Was he shocked at her silence? Did he wish for her to plead her innocence, to promise there had been some mistake? She would not give him the satisfaction.
No
. She met his eyes, resistant, and he was the one who looked away.
The other man was not so gentle.
"Come on," he said—to his companion, to her, to them both.
Grabbing her arm roughly, clenching his fingers around her frail frame, he pulled her forward. Jinji stumbled, her body not prepared to move so fast, but held on.
Swiftly, they passed through the corridors. Jinji tripped, floundering at this rapid pace she had grown unaccustomed to, stubbing her toes on the uneven path. Her feet were cold against the stone, but her body was hot with exertion. Even if she walked toward death, it felt good to walk. To move.
The men didn't say anything else. Gave no hints as to their destination. But it seemed as though they traveled upward. Away. Out.
They stopped at a door.
As it swung open, Jinji gasped. Her fragile body finally faltered and she fell, eyes burning as she clutched them, covered them.
It was too bright. Too white after so long in the dark.
She blinked rapidly, bringing moisture to her eyes, trying to bring her vision back. The shadow of her hands provided some relief, blocked out most of the glow until it was just her skin, streaked with orange where the sun tried to break through.
Gently, she shifted her fingers, letting the cracks widen. Gradually, her eyes adjusted despite the burn.
The castle of Rayfort.
Jinji recognized the white stones reflecting the sun, the red tapestry hanging on the wall painted with the stallion Rhen wore proudly on his clothes. She was still in Rayfort, still at his home.
Gaze shifting further, Jinji met wide-eyed stares. Three women stood a few feet away, talking with two men. Their clothes were gold-lined and rich in color, spotted with little pearls. The conversation, whatever it was, had stopped. Now they stood aghast, unable to speak at the sight of her cradling her head, stuck on the ground.
Jinji let her hands fall into her lap. Her vision followed. And it was her turn for shock. The scars around her wrists looked more painful in the daylight, more gruesome. Her fingers were black with dirt. Her arms were covered by it. Her skin, once a beautiful tan, was now ghostly. The white shirt looked gray. Her pants were ripped, shredded by her knees.
Suddenly cold, Jinji hugged herself, covered herself. Shame tugged at her heart. How could she have been dragged so low? Once the future leader of her people, now a beggar.
Jinji stood and lifted her head, trying to cover the embarrassment with stubborn pride. Straightening her spine, she dropped her hands and met the eyes of the guards. It was time to move on, and they understood, walking forward and trusting her to continue.
A few turns later, a few shocked looks later, and they had arrived at another door. The more forceful guard pushed her inside and shut it.
Panic immediately clenched her heart and Jinji turned, slamming the door with her fist, still not making a sound.
She fell forward, hugging the wood, afraid what she might turn to find. Silence welcomed her. No sounds, not even breathing, filtered into her ears.
Would they really bring her here to watch her scream? Jinji reasoned with herself. It made no sense to take her through the castle unless a different fate waited for her. The fate only a friend could provide, one very specific friend, the only one she had left.
Hesitant, Jinji turned, hoping she might find a dream come to life.
But the room was empty.
There were no people, only things. Fluffy chairs she would not stain with her soot. Tables holding games she did not know how to play. Shelves displaying books she could not read. Everything was luxurious. Everything was foreign.
A fire blazed to one side, and a window sat at the other. Though she was cold, Jinji yearned for the sight of the outside world and made her way to the glass, padding carefully across the rug.
A silk cushion sat below the pane, lined with carefully arranged pillows, but she did not rest her weary muscles. Instead, Jinji stood, strengthened by the scene before her.
Trees.
Far off in the distance, past the castle wall, beyond the sea of rooftops, was a strip of evergreen. Minute maybe but everything to her. The world. A sight she wasn't sure she would ever see again. A sliver of home she could hold close.
A smile spread her lips, and Jinji's hand rose to rest gently against the window, trying to touch the leaves she could almost hear swaying in the breeze. Her vision cut everything else out, letting her forget Rayfort and to feel free for a moment. Jinji's forehead followed her hand, meeting the cool touch of the glass, and feeling secure, she let her mind wander.
It had to be Rhen. How she wished it were Rhen. But she had to think clearly.
The queen had been possessed by the shadow. It could be her, demanding justice against Jinji or perchance needing to question her.
It could be one of his brothers, feeling obligated to tell Jinji the bad news of Rhen's death since she was his friend.
It could be a cruel trick, to show her a glimpse of the world before stripping it away.
Or it could be Rhen
.
Her insides skipped a beat, fluttering around her stomach—a wish that would not be denied.
Rhen
.
At the thought, something behind her clicked. Jinji held her breath and turned around slowly, searching for the source. To her side, a different entrance from where she came in, a knob was twisting. She paused, unsure if this was real or fake, an act of her mind playing tricks or the impossible manifestation of dreams coming true.
The entry swung open, and there he stood. Commanding. Taking up the entire frame of the doorway, hair just as bright as Jinji remembered, eyes just as sparkling.
All breath left her body and she stood speechless, still not sure if she was awake.
Rhen looked at her with an expression Jinji couldn't read. Confusion. Horror. Sympathy. Longing. All of them or none of them, she couldn’t decide.
Jinji watched, waiting for him to disappear, to wink out of existence just like her illusions. But he seemed so solid.
Seconds ticked by but the room felt frozen in time.
Why was he just standing there? Jinji silently commanded he step forward, but Rhen didn’t move. Stubborn.
He must be real
, she thought and bit her lower lip, almost afraid to find out the answer. But Jinji had waited a long time in the dark, and she would wait no longer.
Stepping cautiously forward, she approached Rhen. He watched on, impassive but not moving away. She stopped close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body, but far enough away to keep herself composed.
There were so many things to say, but her lips would not open. So many words that would not come.
Jinji wanted to collapse against him, to fall into his arms and let them catch her, protect her, convince her that it was all real. But she wouldn't, no matter how much her body protested against her. If this Rhen were real, he did not trust her. He did not view her as a woman to comfort. He did not ache for her in the way she ached for him.
To Rhen, she was a liar. A stranger. Without Jin, he didn’t know who she was. In time, she might change that. But now was not that time.
Still, she needed to touch him, to feel his strength, his solidity.