The Soldier's Bride (17 page)

Evelyn stepped back. “I need to talk to you.”

Sterling’s smile faded as he processed the painful timbre of her voice. “What’s wrong?”

There it was, the same question asked by a different man this time. She wet her lips and dug for courage from the deepest corners of her heart. “Would it be okay if we talked in your car?”

“My car?” Sterling glanced behind him to his Cadillac parked on the street. “It’s freezing out here. Evelyn, what’s the matter?”

With a deep breath, she grabbed her coat and pulled the front door closed behind her. Sterling helped her slide her bare arms into the coat. “Are you angry because I missed Danny’s party? I thought you’d understand. Are you going to let me give Danny his gift?”

The questions tumbled out of him so quickly that Evelyn didn’t know which to answer first. “It’s nothing you did, but we need to talk.” She attempted a smile, but she knew it didn’t reach her eyes.

Sterling’s brow creased and he opened the car door for her. As she slid onto the bench seat, she thought how everything was familiar—as if they were heading out on yet another date. A romantic evening with Sterling professing his love for her, trying his best to win her heart. She swallowed away the tears threatening to spill over as she covered her legs with the soft blanket Sterling always kept in his car for her.

How could she do this when everything Sterling did provided yet more evidence of his love? She blinked away the tears as Sterling pulled the door shut and put his arm around her, holding her close to his side. His eyes asked the questions hovering on his lips and she looked away.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me,” he whispered. He kissed her brow and reached for her left hand.

In a panic, Evelyn moved her hand and felt the weight of her wedding ring against her finger. She had to tell him now, before he saw the ring. “Today during Danny’s birthday, someone knocked on the door.” She bit her lip. “I thought it was you, that somehow you’d fixed the milk truck. But it wasn’t you.”

“No, I’m sorry. It took me a lot longer.”

“Shh.” Evelyn placed her hand on his leg. “Just let me talk. I’m not angry. How could I be angry? You’re a good man, Sterling. It was the right thing to help out the Charlesworths.”

A bit of the tension eased out of him and he leaned back against the seat. “So who was at the door?”

“At first I thought it was a ghost. It was impossible, especially since it’s Danny’s birthday.” Her eyes met the confusion in Sterling’s gaze. “It was Jim.”

Sterling sat up. “Jim? You don’t mean . . .”

“Yes. Jim Patterson. My husband.”

“But how?”

“He was a prisoner of war,” Evelyn explained. “He had a terrible head injury and some paralysis. They left him for dead. He lost his memory as a result of the head injuries and then apparently contracted polio. He’s been at a rehabilitation hospital in Minnesota learning how to walk again.”

“But it’s been over two years,” Sterling said.

“I know. I can’t believe all this time he’s been alive,” Evelyn murmured. She smoothed the blanket over her knees and heard a sharp intake of breath from Sterling.

He grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb against the gold band. “Just like that. You’re married.”

The tears couldn’t be kept inside any longer.

“Sterling, I’m so sorry,” Evelyn cried.

“You still kissed me tonight.” He studied her face, his eyes dropping to her lips then meeting her tear-filled gaze.

She felt her lips, now cold, with trembling fingers. “I didn’t know what to do—how to tell you.”

Sterling caught her hand again and glared at her wedding ring. “Are you sure this is what you want? What if you had been remarried already?”

“But I’m not,” she said. “Maybe this is for the best. I’m all wrong for you. You need someone stronger. My heart’s been through too much.”

“No, don’t say it. Don’t diminish what we have because he’s back. I know you love me. I know it now.” He leaned close to her, until he was eye level. “I felt it when you kissed me.” His lips parted and closed the distance between them. The kiss was gentle as all Sterling’s kisses had been, but somehow he infused his very soul into it.

Evelyn tried to pull back, but Sterling embraced her and claimed her lips with another kiss. She couldn’t deny the feelings his kiss stirred within her own heart. Knowing she should stop him wasn’t a powerful enough reason to escape his lips pressing against hers. He was right, she did love him.

But she loved Jim as well.

Sliding her hands up his chest, she pushed against him lightly. “You’re right, Sterling. I do love you.”

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her again, but she pressed her hand more firmly against his chest.

“But I love Jim, too.” She forced herself to look him in the eyes. “I didn’t know it was possible to love two people.”

“Then choose me,” he pleaded. He caressed Evelyn’s cheek, his eyes glistening with emotion. “Please.”

“I can’t. Jim hasn’t even been able to hold his son today because Danny kept looking for Stir.” Evelyn smiled through her tears. “I just found out my husband is alive and he learned that he’s a father. I used to dream of this—that Jim would come back, that I wouldn’t be alone, and now he’s here.”

Sterling released Evelyn from his embrace and shook his head. “I can’t believe the timing,” he whispered. Then he reached into his coat pocket. “I was going to ask you to marry me tonight.”

Her breath caught when she saw the white velvet box in his hand. He lifted the lid to reveal a gold band with a sparkling diamond solitaire winking in the dim light of the car’s interior.

“You’re telling me I missed the chance to be the happiest man in the world by a few hours?” Sterling said.

Pulling her gaze from the sparkling diamond, Evelyn shook her head. “Even if I had been engaged, Jim’s alive and that means I’m still married to him.”

“So you would have said yes?”

A tremor ran through her body and her eyes felt swollen from too many tears. She closed the ring box and held Sterling’s hand. “I would’ve said yes.”

“Will you think about it—about me—before you decide to go back?”

Evelyn pursed her lips. “I’m sorry, Sterling.”

He sighed and the last of his hopes seemed to escape on his breath.

She squeezed his hand. “Would you like to meet him?”

Sterling frowned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I understand. Danny will be disappointed. But I still want you to be able to give him his gift.”

“Maybe you could bring him by my house.” Sterling pushed the ring box back down into his pocket and opened the car door.

Evelyn knew what he was thinking. Why would he come back here again when he wasn’t welcome? She had to help him understand. Sliding across the seat, she grabbed onto Sterling’s sleeve. “I owe it to Danny to let him spend some time with you. He won’t understand.” Evelyn clasped his hand and brought it to her lips. “I don’t want to hurt you. Please tell me you’ll be okay.”

He looked at her and the pain magnified in his eyes made her breath catch. “I won’t be okay, but I’m not going to let myself get lost again if that’s what you’re asking.”

She gripped his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet. They walked toward the front step, and Evelyn thought of the distress on Sterling’s face when he had first described the panic attacks he’d suffered after the war. She covered her mouth with her hand to muffle the sob that pushed against the back of her throat.

He had been there for her when she began suffering the same type of panic, the panic that still threatened to overtake her some days when Harlan’s face flashed through her mind. Sterling. The man who had patiently helped her through the most frightening period of her life, was the same man she was letting go. There were no words she could give him that would make anything better.

The wind whipped the bottom of her coat against her legs, and she turned to see the shadows of the trees dancing against the chill air. She searched the fragments of her heart for something she could give Sterling. If she could, she would pull one jagged piece from her heart and give it to him, but, no, she already had.

Two steps from the door, Sterling paused and looked at her. His wide emerald eyes stood out against the heavy black brows furrowed in sorrow. Evelyn met his gaze and thought of how ruggedly handsome he looked. Other women had always noticed him when they’d been together, and she wanted to tell him he would find someone who would love him, but she stopped herself. The words wouldn’t help because she knew as well as he that there was already a woman who loved him, but she wasn’t free to give that love anymore.

Her curls hung loose and the wind pushed them around the collar of her coat and across her face. She swiped a hair out of her eyes and opened her mouth to speak, but her tears betrayed her. She threw her arms around Sterling’s neck and buried her head on his shoulder. His arms enfolded her and she clung to him for a moment and then whispered, “Good-bye.”

She kissed his cheek and hurried up the steps, slipping in through the front door and closing it before the wind could steal the heat.

Harold trudged up the stairs and knocked once before pushing open the door to the spare room. Jim was kneeling by the bed with his head in his hands, and when he heard the hinges squeak, he wiped his eyes on the patchwork quilt before looking at his father-in-law.

“That young man down there—Sterling—he’s a good man.” Harold sank into the straight-backed chair and his joints popped as he did so. “A couple of days ago, he took me aside and asked permission to give Evelyn a diamond.”

Jim had started to rise from the floor, but he slumped back down and leaned against the bed frame, his arms resting on his knees.

Harold cleared his throat. “This beats any story I’ve ever dreamed up. You coming back here the day Sterling was going to propose to her.”

Jim’s head jerked up. “Today?”

Harold nodded. “He told me he wanted to ask her in front of Danny—make his birthday extra special.”

Jim groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. “I love her.”

“I know you do,” Harold said. “I’m not telling you this because of that. I’m telling you so maybe you can understand how many hearts are connected to your anguish.”

“Maybe it would’ve been better for her if I hadn’t come back.”

“Don’t whip yourself because the situation isn’t ideal,” Harold grumbled. “At least she wasn’t married yet. But really, that’s the least of yours and Evelyn’s problems.”

“What do you mean?” Jim clasped his hands together.

“Marie sent me up here. You know how women are mind readers.” Harold paused and chewed on his lower lip. “I’m sure there hasn’t been enough time for Evelyn to tell you everything.” He hesitated again, as if trying to gauge Jim’s reaction.

Jim twisted his wedding ring around and around. “She told me she loves Sterling.”

“Yes, she does, but that’s not what I’m getting at,” Harold replied. “Something happened to Evelyn a few months back—something bad.”

“What?” Suddenly Jim was on his feet. “Was she hurt?”

Harold wiped his nose with a wrinkled handkerchief. “It’s not my place to tell, but Marie wanted you to know that you must tread lightly with Evelyn. The poor thing’s been through so much. We’ve been worried sick about her, and if it wasn’t for Sterling, you might’ve come back to a shell of the woman you knew before.”

The air in the room felt heavy and Jim wiped his brow. “What happened?”

“It’s too much all at once.” Harold’s voice cracked with emotion. “You’re going to have to give her some time to tell you herself. It’s going to be hard because she doesn’t want to think about it, let alone talk about it, but Marie thinks if you can be patient and give her a chance to tell you herself, it would help.”

Jim remembered how he felt when his memory had been blanketed in pain so severe he couldn’t remember who he was. The confusion, the frustration was sometimes overwhelming, and he felt some of that now as he tried to piece together what his father-in-law was telling him. That something bad had happened to his wife, so bad that she wasn’t the same person anymore. A thousand terrible situations ran through his head and morphed into a tornado of events attacking Evelyn.

In the silence, he considered the scenarios swirling in his mind. What could be so horrible as to shake Evelyn to her very core? He thought of her gentle nature, how she felt nervous when too much attention was placed on her, how she had acted the first time Jim had kissed her—the first time she’d ever been kissed.

Bile rose in his throat and realization overshadowed the tornado in his mind. Jim looked at Harold, and he nodded.

“Don’t push her too much. Her heart barely started beating again—it’s a fragile time.”

“I’ll do my best,” Jim said. “Thank you, and thank Marie.” He turned toward the window. “It’s been a half hour, do you think they’re still out there?”

Harold opened his mouth to answer, but stopped when the door slammed shut downstairs. Jim straightened and took a step toward the hallway, and then he stopped. “Tell her I’d love to see Danny when she’s ready.”

With a nod, Harold gripped the chair and stood.

~*~

Evelyn pulled off her coat and hung it on the peg. The birthday present Sterling had brought sat by the door, and she had to swallow hard to keep the tears at bay. She picked up the gift and set it behind her mother’s potted plant. She would wait to give the gift to Danny. Sterling should be able to at least see the joy on Danny’s face when he ripped off the wrapping paper.

Light footsteps sounded behind her and she turned to see Marie coming from the kitchen. “Danny’s been asking for Sterling. I guess he won’t be coming inside?”

She hugged her mother and Evelyn tried to hold onto the courage she’d mustered to speak to Sterling, but it was already diminishing like a breath of warm air in a winter storm. “No, he thought it would be best to wait.” Evelyn smoothed out her dress. “Is Jim . . . ?”

“He’s upstairs, your father’s talking to him.”

“Oh, he is?” She cocked an ear toward the staircase as she heard a door close.