The Sheik's Secret Bride (11 page)

The following morning, Callie woke up and she was alone in the bed.  Still dressed but the larger shirt was more revealing than what she was used to.  She tugged the shirt closed over her breasts, wondering what had happened.  All she remembered was that terrified feeling coming over her and then Zahir holding her in his arms. She realized something else as well – she hadn’t been having those nightmares since Zahir returned. 

It was a nice feeling, she thought.  But then she pushed it away and stepped into the shower.  She had to figure out what her future was and it definitely wasn’t this, she told herself. 

She needed to figure out options, to discover the possibilities. And she couldn’t do it while lying in bed.

Suddenly, Zahir burst into the bedroom.  “Wear something pretty,” he told her. 

She looked up at him, draped only in a towel.  “Excuse me?” she asked, clutching the towel above her breasts. 

He walked into her dressing room and selected a pretty, yellow suit with a flowered scarf that would drape becomingly around her neck.  “Will you wear this one?”

She looked at the beautiful suit he was holding in his hands by the hangar and couldn’t stifle the laughter.  “If that’s what you want.”

“Oh, you know what I want, but we’re on a mission today.”

She shook her head as he handed the suit to her.  “Fine.  But are you going to tell me what this mission is?” she asked.

“No.  Luca is starting lessons today which leaves you in my care.  Get dressed.”

Callie could see that he wasn’t going to tell her anything.  “Fine.  I’ll wear this.  But you have to leave while I get dressed.”  She watched him, hugging the suit close to her and waiting to see what he would do.  Would he leave or was he going to stay and do something naughty? 

Callie could honestly say she wasn’t sure which one she wanted more.

When he walked out of the room, winking at her as he left, she breathed a sigh of relief.  She dressed carefully, putting on light makeup and tying her hair back into a conservative knot.  Since he wouldn’t tell her what they were doing, she wasn’t sure what she should prepare for.  But it was certainly nice that she didn’t have to worry about what to wear.  If Zahir thought the yellow suit was a good choice, she was relieved to have the decision taken out of her hands. 

Unfortunately, she should have been more assertive when questioning where they were going.  As soon as the armored SUV stopped, she knew what he was going to do.  He lifted her carefully out of the vehicle and steadied her when she looked around.  “I don’t want to do this, Zahir,” she said, her eyes huge as she took in the busy outdoor market.  “Please don’t do this to me.”

Part of Zahir wanted to let her get back into the SUV and hide in the palace but he knew that she had to do this.  Until she knew that the world was safe, relatively safe, then she would still be constricted by her fears. 

“Just take a few steps for me, okay, love?” He wrapped an arm around her waist, trying to help her in any way he could think that might work.  “Let’s just walk over to that basket,” he said, indicating a large, woven basket on the edge of the market.  “After that, we’ll come back to the car.”

Callie knew what he was trying to do and a part of her knew that he was right.  But that was the rational part of her brain.  The irrational side of her was screaming to run and hide, that there was evil here. 

But he was right.  And if she could just step over to the basket, she’d be fine.  It wasn’t like there were any other people in this area.  She looked around, noticed guards all around her.  They weren’t watching her, they were looking at the others in the marketplace and they were searching the shadows, the faces of the people milling about.  In other words, they were fully aware of what she was going through and they were all trying to help her get through this. 

She straightened her shoulders at that point.  He was right.  This was exactly what she needed.  She might hate him for making her face this fear, but he was right.  Damn him, she was going to do this and get it over with. 

She pushed away from him, refusing his help and she wouldn’t allow him to force her.  She would show him that this was fine and then she’d demand…well, she wasn’t sure what she would demand of him.  Right now, all of her focus was on that basket, on the people milling around just outside of this perimeter. 

“Face your fears,” she whispered to herself.  With each step, she chanted those three words to herself.  Over and over again, she said it until it was a rhythm in her brain.  She reached the baskets and looked around.  Her heart was pounding, she felt as if her whole body was drenched in sweat and she wanted to run screaming from this place.  But then she realized that she was fine.  No one had attacked her.  No one had swept her up into his arms, thrown a hood over her face and stuffed her into a trunk. 

She was fine.

Callie took several deep breaths.  Farther, she thought.  “I’m going to do this.”  She stepped into the people, looked over at the guards.  They were all completely aware of what she was doing and moved with her.  Step by step, she walked deeper into the market.  The last time she’d been here, she’d lost track of her guards.  She’d been so interested in what was for sale, smelling all of the different spices and feeling the various fabrics.   She suddenly realized how wrong she’d been to have lost track of her guards.  It hadn’t occurred to her before now how much of her capture had been her fault.  She’d blamed Zahir, the guards, the man… but she knew now that she’d lost her guards.  And they’d lost her.  Yes, they should have kept better track of her.  That was their job.  And Zahir should have listened to the intelligence chatter that day that had warned him that there was an imminent threat. 

But she’d never once acknowledged her side of that day, her fault and what she could have done differently.  She’d been so angry.  And with that realization came a power she’d never considered before now.  She looked over at one of the guards.  He glanced at her, then around at the other people milling about, then back at her.  One by one, she observed the guards as she stood there.  Each of them were diligently scanning the crowds and then coming back to watch her.

The monster hadn’t captured her to hurt her personally, although he’d done an excellent job of that.  He’d captured her to hurt Zahir.  She’d been a political target, not a personal one. 

And in fact, she was still a political target, but now it was dawning on her how much responsibility that put on her own shoulders. 

She turned around and looked at Zahir through new eyes.  He had a great deal of responsibility on his shoulders as well. 

How did all of this make her feel?  She wasn’t really sure, she thought. 

She nodded to her guards, then walked over to Zahir.  “Let’s go,” she said softly. 

Zahir was so proud of her, he wanted to lift her into his arms and hug her, to carry her off somewhere and make love to her.  But he kept his hands to himself.  She’d looked strange a moment ago and he wasn’t sure what that look meant and until he understood more about what was going on inside of her head, he had to hold back, give her space. 

Hell, he wasn’t sure if
she
even knew what she was thinking right about now.

When they returned to the palace, she quickly stepped out of the vehicle and, before he could ask her where she was going, she was almost running down the hallway.

“Keep an eye on her,” he commanded to the team of guards who had been selected to protect her. 

Three of the guards broke away, one of them speaking into his radio. 

Zahir rubbed the back of his neck.  He had a council meeting, briefings from several of his advisors, numerous contracts to review and more work than he even wanted to contemplate.  So instead of walking down the hallway to find his wife, he turned to the right and walked into his office.  Callie needed time alone, he suspected.  And he thought she might be furious with him.  But that couldn’t be helped. 

She loved him and he damn well wanted her to admit it to him! 

He pushed himself to work hard for the rest of the day, focus on the issues.  Callie needed her space and no matter how much he wanted to go to her and hold her, he had to respect that she needed time alone. 

Or maybe she didn’t. 

Hell, he didn’t know anymore.  Maybe he’d pushed her too hard this morning.  Maybe she was a basket case now and he’d have to put her into a straightjacket.  They’d had three weeks together five years ago and one week now.  He needed more time to really understand her.  What he couldn’t do was to let her go.  Maybe, if Luca hadn’t been born, he might have been a better man, he might have been able to sacrifice his own happiness so that Callie could stay away from Larcatia.  If his son didn’t need his mother and if Callie…

He couldn’t let her go.  There was just too much at stake.  He was tired of wanting her and only her.  He needed to make this work!  She needed to know that he would do anything in his power, except let her go. 

When the last of his meetings adjourned, he stood up and walked out of the administration area of the palace.  He had to find her, he thought.  He’d been getting updates on Luca all day long and knew he was making huge strides.  But the guards watching Callie had informed him that she’d been sitting by the west garden all day long.  She hadn’t eaten, she hadn’t really moved. 

He was worried.

Ignoring anyone who tried to stop him to ask a question, he barreled through the hallways, intent only on finding Callie to make sure she was okay. 

When he finally reached the entrance to the gardens, he looked across the pathways but he wasn’t reassured.  She looked so still, so sad.  Her golden hair was no longer held back but now cascaded over her shoulder and the scarf she’d knotted around her neck lay on the stone bench beside her.  Even her shoes were off. 

But it was the stillness in her that worried him the most.

He approached her as if she were a wounded animal, cautiously, slowly.  Making sure that she knew he was there so that he wouldn’t startle her. 

Callie looked over at him and his heart wrenched at the sadness he saw there in those beautiful, amber depths. 

“I’ve always hated this time of the day,” she said softly.  Looking up at the sky, she blinked at the setting sun.  “It always feels like I should be more productive, as if I should be doing something but the hour before sunset is depressing to me.  It’s as if the day is winding down and I haven’t done enough.” 

The muscles in his throat constricted at the idea that she needed to do more than face those debilitating fears earlier this morning.  “You’ve accomplished a great deal today.”

Callie turned her attention away from the pink and gold rays of the setting sun so she could look up at her husband.  Huh!  She played around with that word in her mind, tossing it about and wondering about that part of her relationship, her life.  Husband.  She’d acknowledged that she was married, after a long argument with herself and him, but the word ‘husband’ had never really struck her in regards to Zahir.  “What’s your favorite time of the day?” she asked. 

“Anytime I’m with you or Luca,” he quickly replied. 

Callie smiled and some of the sadness eased from her eyes.  Her fingers were still, he realized.  He wasn’t sure exactly what that meant because every other part of her body seemed tense.  Normally, he could look at her hands, her fingers, to gauge how stressed she was but she was sending mixed signals now. 

“You always know the right thing to do and say.  Were you born with that talent?” she asked, glancing away again.  “Or was it part of your princely training?”

Zahir wasn’t sure how to answer her.  “I’ve had a great deal of diplomatic training, if that’s what you are asking.”

She shook her head.  “Not exactly the same thing.”  Sighing, she stood up.  “Let’s go find Luca and hear what he’s been doing today,” she said.  And with that, she walked out of the garden, leaving Zahir still no clearer on what was going through her mind. 

“Pull on a pair of jeans,” Zahir said, entering their bedroom the following day. 

She glanced at him, startled by his command.  “Jeans?  I didn’t think jeans were a good choice as your wife.”  She’d slept better last night than she had in a long time and she wasn’t sure if it was because she’d dared herself to step into the market and face her fears, or if she’d finally accepted some things about herself and her life.  Both, probably.  She just wished she could figure out what she was going to do about Zahir.  Goodness, she loved him and hated him.  Those two dichotomous feelings were hard to reconcile inside her head.  And she still felt like she was being backed into a corner, resentful of how he’d manipulated her life and complex fears, hopes and other confusing questions about her life, her son and her husband. 

So it was no wonder that she wanted to both kiss him and kick him as he stood in front of her now telling her what to wear for a second day in a row.  Yesterday it had been a relief.  Today…well…she wasn’t sure.  Kissing and kicking at the same time came to mind. 

He winked at her with a slow, devious smile.  “Jeans are perfectly acceptable at times.”

She liked this teasing, more flirtatious man more than the one yesterday who had been so stern and concerned.  His casual attitude helped her to accept that today wouldn’t be a bad day.  “Like today?”

He nodded. “Or whenever I want to feast my eyes on your delectable bottom,” he pointed out.

She rolled her eyes.  “Jeans it is.  They are my favorite thing to wear anyway.”

He sat down on the chair and watched while she walked into the dressing room and sifted through her clothes.  She wasn’t sure where her jeans had been stored so it took her several minutes to find them in a drawer.  When she pulled them out and turned, she realized that he’d been just sitting there.

“Have you been watching me the whole time?” she asked.

“Yes.  It’s been…enjoyable,” he replied, letting his eyes skim down her figure, still just wrapped in a robe. 

She glared at him, wishing that she knew what was going on in his mind.  “You’re being rude again, aren’t you?”

“You love me.  You don’t mind if I watch.”

The smile fell from her features and she clutched her jeans closer as if they could somehow protect her from his statement.  “No, Zahir.  I’m here because Luca needs a mother.”

He shook his head.  He wasn’t going to let her get away with that excuse any longer.  Not after last night.   They still hadn’t had sex since landing in Larcatia but he knew.  She’d been scared two nights ago and she’d slept in his arms.  And last night, she’d started sleeping on the far side of the bed, but quickly moved over to him, unconsciously moving her body as close as she could get to him.  “No, Callie.  You’re here because you love me.”

She started to get angry.   And several other emotions that she didn’t want to investigate too clearly.  “Zahir, this is not about you and me.  This is about what’s best for Luca.”

His eyes narrowed and he stood up from the chair, towering over her as if daring her to deny her feelings.  He was getting angry now.  “Are you really trying to tell me that you don’t love me?”

She looked up at him, wishing that she could say the words, but her whole body started trembling at the idea. 

He noticed her reaction and pulled back, but he wouldn’t release her hands.  Her inability to deny her feelings for him reaffirmed his belief.  “You love me Callie.  You wouldn’t have given yourself to me at the lake house without that emotion to back up your actions.”

She turned back to the closet, irritated with his confidence.  “That’s just sex, Zahir.”

She stepped into the dressing room and closed the door, dressing by herself and away from his heated gaze.  But even after she finished, she still stayed in the closed area, not wanting to go out there and face Zahir again.  Yes, she was in love with him but that was for her and her heart to know.  Admitting it to Zahir would eliminate the last barrier between them. 

It hurt too much to be vulnerable.

She opened the closet door and found Zahir pacing back and forth in the bedroom.  “I’m ready,” she said, a part of her wishing she could ease his mind and tell him that she loved him.

She shivered when his eyes skimmed down over her figure in the figure hugging jeans.  But still she remained quiet about her feelings. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

Zahir considered his plan for a long moment.  If he followed through with his idea, he wasn’t sure what her reaction would be. Would she be too scared to see the rest? 

And dammit, she did love him!  She couldn’t touch him, be with him, give herself so completely to him every night and not be in love with him.  Not his Calliendra!  She simply didn’t give herself away that easily! 

And then it hit him.  She was scared!  She was afraid of what they felt five years ago and what it would mean for their future, not to mention how others could use it against her, Luca or even him again. 

When he figured that out, and he hoped he was on target, he realized that his plan for the day was a good one.  He could show her the places she needed to see and maybe he could convince her to release her fears, or, at a minimum, talk to him about those fears so they could work through them together. 

Patience, he reminded himself.  He had to have patience.  “Yes.  Let’s go,” he said and took her hand, pulling her out of the bedroom. 

He led her to the helipad on the roof of the palace.  But that was yet another obstacle.  He’d had no idea that she was afraid of helicopter flight but he appreciated the way she clung to his arms, wanting to hold onto him.  It pressed her breasts up against his bicep. 

It took him several moments to convince her that the helicopter was safe, and that the pilot was extremely capable.  “Would you feel better if I flew?”

Callie’s hands fell on his chest, grabbing his shirt in her fists.  “No!  You can’t get onto that thing either.”

Zahir laughed.  “Callie, do you have any idea how many hours I’ve spent in the pilot seat of one of those things?”

Her eyes widened and she clenched her jaw tightly.  “Don’t tell me things like that,” she said, looking away.

He chuckled again.  “My love, you’re going to have to admit that you love me or not be concerned for my safety.”

She sniffed slightly.  “I’m not concerned for your safety.  I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”  When she saw his eyes light with amusement, she turned her head away.  “There’s a difference,” she argued and unclenched her fists from his shirt. 

He wasn’t buying any of it!  Every word out of her mouth, every gesture she made, told him that she loved him.  She just didn’t want to love him.  “Yes, my dear.  Come along.  You’re going to like flying in these.  It is very different from a plane.”

She didn’t want to get onto the helicopter, but she wanted to go wherever it was that he wanted to show her.  She was caught and the easiest route was to get on that silly contraption.  “You’re sure it is safe?” she asked again.

Zahir hugged her.  “You’re adorable when you’re worried, my love.  Come,” he said and pulled her along. 

As soon as they were strapped in, he plunked a headset over her ears and gave the signal to the pilot to go ahead.  The rotors started swirling and the wind around them picked up.  Moments later, they were flying through the air and Callie grabbed Zahir’s hand, squeezing it hard.  He turned his hand over and gave her his full attention, speaking into the microphone. 

“Look to your left,” he told her. 

When she looked out the side window, she was able to see the entire capital city laid out beneath them.  The city worked its way up the mountain with the larger houses perched nearer to the top.  There was a river running down the side of the mountain that she’d never seen before.  He explained that the river was fed from an underground source and the people never touched the water, believing that it was sacred.  The water disappeared into a well in the middle of the city, eventually emptying out from a waterfall and going into the ocean. 

As they flew, Zahir pointed out the various monuments of the city, the statues of the heroes from the previous war to the ones that had ended centuries ago.  He explained the ancient buildings, how the architecture had evolved over the years and even the newest architect who was building the capital library, funded now that the war was over. 

“The flight is over,” he told her as the helicopter gently landed at the base of the mountain.  “We drive from here.”

She stepped out of the helicopter, relieved to finally be on the ground once more but she had to admit, at least to herself, that the ride had been interesting.  And once he’d started talking to her, explaining the city and interesting points, she’d forgotten about her fears of the unusual mode of transportation. 

“Come along.  There’s food in the vehicle already.”

He drove out of the city, heading higher into the mountains.  There were fewer and fewer vehicles around them now and she wondered how he’d gotten away from his bodyguards for the day. 

The terrain changed almost suddenly.  First there was just desert and rocks but when they came around to the other side of the mountain, she was surprised by all the trees and green plants.  “What’s this?”

“This side of the mountain gets all of the rain.  The height of the mountains pushes the moisture higher, making the rain heavier and it falls. But as the air rushes over the mountain, all of the moisture comes out over here and the other side is too dry.  So there’s desert for the next hundred miles or so before it runs to the ocean. 

“It’s beautiful,” she told him, amazed that such an oasis could exist in what she’d thought was a desert country. 

“Wait until you see where we’re going,” he said and expertly maneuvered the powerful SUV around a bend in the road and came to a stop. 

Right in front of them was a huge waterfall surrounded by grey rocks and lush vegetation.  It was quiet, with birds chirping and a few animals rustling in the trees, but there were no other humans here.

“Where is everyone?” she asked, looking around and walking closer to the blue pool of water.  Looking down, she could see that there was a deep cove, the rocks keeping the water clear.  It turned murky on the other side as the water rushed over the dirt and the trees dropped things into the water, but right here, it looked like a pool. 

“There are a few other people that venture here during the weekends, but during the week, it is pretty isolated.  This is a hard area to get to.  Most people walk the trail which should only be traversed by the more experienced hikers.  So it isn’t a huge tourist site.  Too hard to reach.”

“I love it,” she breathed, sitting on one of the rocks and dipping her hand into the water.  Her eyes widened as she discovered the temperature, which wasn’t hot, but it wasn’t cool as she had expected.  “It’s warmer than I thought it would be.”  She smiled up at him, surprised.

He chuckled at her expression.  “The water comes from rain, not melted snow like it would in some places.  So it isn’t as cold as most people expect.”  He watched her dip her fingers back into the water, glad that she was enjoying this excursion better than yesterday’s. 

She laughed, delighted with his explanation.  “I’ve never really visited any of the waterfalls in the United States so I wouldn’t know how cold they are.  I guess it is just my perception that the water should be cold.”

He pulled a basket out of the back of the truck and easily hefted it over to the rock where she was sitting.  “Hungry?” he asked. 

“Starving, actually,” she said and eagerly looked into the basket.  “I spent too much time with Luca this morning instead of grabbing something to eat.”  She peered into the basket.  “What did you bring?” And then she laughed.  “As if you would know,” she teased.  Zahir didn’t venture into the palace kitchens.  He ordered someone else to cook whatever he might be in the mood for.  And she didn’t mind that one bit after the debacle of trying to make cookies at the house in Lake Anna. 

“Yum!  Chocolate!” she said when she started pulling things out of the basket.  “Oh, and this looks interesting.”  She lifted a container filled with some sort of flatbread, rolled up and stuffed.  “These look like pinwheels,” she eyed the contents carefully.  “There are all sorts of fillings.”

“I wasn’t sure what kinds of foods you like.  We didn’t spend a great deal of time eating, the last time we were together.”

Callie blushed, remembering what activities they did spend time doing.  And he was right, it didn’t involve eating.  The only reason they stopped for food was to re-energize so they could make love with each other again.

His eyes darkened as the memories flowed around them, almost like a silken caress.   “You remember that, don’t you Callie,” he said softly. “The way we couldn’t get enough of each other.  The headaches we had because we woke up in each other’s arms late in the morning, long after we usually would have had our coffee.”

“Stop it,” she whispered, taking out a container filled with strawberries.  “It doesn’t matter now.  We’re different people now.”

“We’re the same.  The world continued to rotate, and we’re still the same people, just with a bit more baggage.”

She started to shake her head, but he ignored that.  “We’re older and wiser, but fundamentally, we’re the same.”