The Sexy Vegan Cookbook (6 page)

Form the dough into a loaf-like shape and cut it in half. Then cut those halves in half. Finally, cut the halves of the halves into five-sixteenths…just kidding, cut them in half. Now you’ll have 8 portions. Roll them into cigar-like shapes, 4 inches long and ½ inch wide. Loosely roll each portion in foil and twist the ends of the foil to seal the packet. Remember to leave some room for expansion. Using a steamer basket, steam for 1 hour. If you want crispier outsides, after the sausages have steamed, fry them in a skillet or grill them with a little olive oil for a couple of minutes, until browned.

http://youtu.be/aukyfydaUfg

VARIATION: Pretend Chipotle Sausages

Omit the chili flakes and add 1 or 2 chipotle peppers (depending on how hot you like it) to the food processor or blender before you puree the wet ingredients.

1 cup cooked green lentils, drained

1 tablespoon grated yellow onion

1 clove garlic, minced

1 teaspoon maple syrup

½ cup vital wheat gluten flour (see WTF,
page 24
)

¼ teaspoon vegetable bouillon powder

Pinch of chili flakes

½ teaspoon fennel seeds

1 teaspoon nutritional yeast (see WTF,
page 27
)

¼ teaspoon paprika

¼ teaspoon salt

Pepper

½ cup water

2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil

In a large bowl, combine the lentils, onion, garlic, maple syrup, wheat gluten, bouillon powder, chili flakes, fennel seeds, nutritional yeast, paprika, salt, and a pinch of pepper. Mash it all together with your hands, then slowly add the water (you may not need all of it), continuing to mash, until it becomes a soft yet somewhat stretchy dough. Make sure there are no clumps of dry wheat gluten. Form the dough into a 2-inch-diameter log and wrap tightly in foil. In a steamer basket, steam for 1 hour.

When the steaming is complete, remove the foil and let the sausage cool to room temperature. When it’s cool, slice it into 8 to 10 patties.

In a pan, heat the oil over medium-high heat, then add your sausage patties (do it in batches if you need to). Cook for 3 to 4 minutes per side, or until they’re browned, then serve.

½ cup low-sodium tamari or soy sauce (see WTF,
page 25
)

1½ tablespoons Crazy Shit Vinegar (see recipe,
page 194
) or apple cider vinegar

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1 teaspoon paprika

2 teaspoons molasses

2 teaspoons vegan Worcestershire sauce (see WTF,
page 12
)

1 drop liquid smoke (see WTF below)

Pepper

One 8-ounce package tempeh, sliced into 8-inch-thick strips

Extra-virgin olive oil for frying (optional)

In a medium bowl, whisk together the tamari, vinegar, garlic powder, paprika, molasses, Worcestershire, liquid smoke, and a couple grinds of pepper. Pour the marinade into a zip-top bag, add the tempeh slices, gently slosh them around so they get coated, squeeze the bag to suck out as much of the air as possible, and zip it closed. Put the bag in the fridge to let the tempeh marinate for at least 8 hours (24 hours is ideal).

Liquid smoke (a.k.a.
hickory seasoning)
can be found at just about any grocery store near the ketchup and barbecue sauces. It is very strong and a small bottle will last a long time.

http://youtu.be/WgT_tKxe9Ok

To cook the bacon, let any excess marinade fall away from the strips, and either bake at 375°F for about 10 minutes or fry in a pan with a little oil over medium heat for about 3 minutes per side, until browned.

One 16-ounce block super-firm tofu (or one 14-ounce block very-well-drained extra-firm tofu; see Tip below and Tip on next page)

½ cup low-sodium tamari or soy sauce (see WTF,
page 25
)

1 teaspoon liquid smoke (see WTF,
page 32
)

½ cup maple syrup

1 tablespoon smoked paprika

½ teaspoon garlic powder

¼ teaspoon pepper

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

Cut the block of tofu into 2-by-3-inch pieces. Then cut the pieces into
-inch-thick slices. (If you want to get fancy, you can use a round cookie cutter or pint glass to cut circular slices, but that will leave excess that will go to waste.)

In a small bowl, whisk together the tamari, liquid smoke, maple syrup, paprika, garlic powder, and pepper. Pour the mixture into a large zip-top bag, add the tofu slices, gently slosh them around so they get coated, squeeze the bag to
suck out as much of the air as possible, and place the bag in the fridge to let the tofu marinate for at least 3 hours but no more than 5 hours.

In a large skillet, heat the oil over high heat. Place as many slices as you wish (without overcrowding) into the hot pan, and fry until browned on one side (3 to 4 minutes), then flip and repeat. Cook the bacon in batches if you need to. If you would like to freeze the uncooked slices, use the same freezing method as with the Tempeh Bacon (see recipe,
page 32
) to preserve these for up to a month.