Authors: Ellin Carsta
Chapter Twenty
“I need to speak to you.” Johannes gave Madlen a serious look when he came home and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.
“What happened?”
He led her into the dining room of the Goldmann house, a room that could seat twenty people and was sometimes used for city council meetings. “Sit down.”
“You’re scaring me. What is it?”
“Have you ever heard about the secret healer?”
Madlen opened her eyes wide and turned red. Her heart beat wildly, and she was barely able to say a word. “What?” she croaked.
“I need to tell you something, and I hope you won’t be mad at me.”
Madlen just stared at him. What would happen now?
“I returned to Worms to be with my family.” He held her hand. “Before that, I lived in Trier and worked as a Church lawyer. Do you know what that is?”
Madlen nodded; she couldn’t bear to wait any longer to hear what Johannes knew about her secret.
“Rumors started some months ago about a woman with healing powers. She could expel diseases from the sick with the use of special herbs, but it also required the souls of innocent children. She had powers that only the devil himself could have given her.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I couldn’t tell you about it before. I’m sorry that I lied to you, but I swore an oath. The archbishop himself requested that I find out everything I could about this woman. By the time I arrived back in Worms, she’d disappeared, as if swallowed up by the earth. However, I just got a message from someone who says he knows this woman. He’ll be here in two days.”
Madlen’s thoughts raced around in her head.
What was her husband trying to say? Did he know her secret or not?
“The archbishop demands results. He wants this woman to be charged with her crimes, and he wants me to take over the case. As soon as I meet this man, I have to travel back to Trier and stay there for a long time. I know that you don’t want to leave, but I have no choice. I’ve made a commitment to the archbishop. I have to hand this secret healer over. I can’t resign from my service until then.”
Madlen was unable to respond. She closed her eyes. Her own husband would be the one to arrest her and bring her to the gallows? He had lied to her like she had to him. But she’d never expected this. But who was this man who claimed to know her identity? Maybe just somebody hoping for the bounty. But what if it wasn’t?
“Maria, please say something. I know you’re mad, but I had no other choice.”
She cleared her throat. “And this secret healer, do you have any idea who it could be?” Her heart beat loudly.
He shook his head slowly. “There are many who have been treated by her, but all refused to identify her. When I tried to bring up the subject, I was met with silence. They didn’t want to hear that they had, in fact, made a pact with the devil.”
“What makes you think they made a pact with the devil?” Madlen felt dizzy.
“I talked with a doctor. He said that there is no medicine that will cure this cough. And for those unfortunate enough to catch this terrible disease, the only possible help is bloodletting and prayer. God alone decides who lives and who dies. Everything lies in the hands of the Almighty.”
“But if this woman healed somebody . . .”
“It is only because she’s in league with the devil. When they are in the delirious throes of this disease, they promise everything and make a pact to give the devil the souls of their own children.”
Madlen had never heard Johannes talk like this. Although she knew the devil existed, she never had anything to do with him. She only knew the medicinal properties of herbs. Now her own husband seemed foreign to her, and she knew that she could never trust him with her secret. She saw his eyes ablaze with the fire of religious fervor. He would take her to the gallows himself if he ever found her out, of this she was quite sure. A thought came her way. “You said earlier that there was someone who knew this woman. From where? Did she heal him?”
“No, he doesn’t live in Worms, but he’s heard the stories from a traveling barber.”
“What does he say she did?”
“She swayed a candle to summon the devil.”
Madlen opened her eyes wide. How could someone know about that? A dark foreboding gripped her heart.
“And where did the barber hear about this?”
“Someone told him. A woman whose brother was healed. She didn’t see it herself. But that’s what happened. And that’s what this woman did when she tore babies from their mothers’ wombs and took them with her. The husband of a pregnant woman who died came here to find out who was responsible. Together we’ll find this secret healer and bring her to the gallows. Unlike most, he knows what she looks like; usually she wears a mask.”
Madlen tried to calm her shaking hands. “And this man whose wife died. What’s his name?”
“Why do you want to know?”
She shrugged.
“You don’t know him,” Johannes continued. “His name is Matthias Trauenstein, a highly respected citizen of Heidelberg. Let the people of the Neckar River have what they want. Justice is just as important to them as it is to us here on the Rhine.”
Everything started to spin around Madlen. She felt sick and her stomach started to cramp. Her face contorted as she held her stomach.
“What is it?” Johannes looked at her worriedly.
“My stomach hurts,” she moaned.
“I’ll get the doctor!” He immediately jumped up and ran out of the room. Madlen steadied herself, breathing deeply. Elsbeth hurried in. “My God, Maria, what’s the matter? Johannes said you were in pain. Is it the baby?”
“I don’t know.” Madlen groaned. “I feel sick.” She’d hardly squeezed the words out when she felt bile rise in her throat. She desperately looked around for something but threw up right on the floor.
“Don’t worry,” Elsbeth called out anxiously. “You have to lie down.” She turned to the door. “Helene!” she called so loudly that it made Madlen wince. “Helene, come help us, quickly.” It wasn’t long before the young woman stood in the doorframe.
“We have to lay her down,” Elsbeth explained. “Johannes has already run to get the doctor.” She turned again to Madlen. “Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be all right. You need to lie down. Do you think we’ll be able to go upstairs together?”
Madlen nodded then pressed her lips together as she tried to get up. It was if the ground was collapsing underfoot. The whole room seemed to sway. Helene and Elsbeth supported her as she walked. She would have stumbled several times going upstairs if not for the women’s firm grip on her.
“Well, all right. We did it.” They led Madlen into her room and let her sink down onto the mattress. Her heart was beating far too quickly. Madlen knew that she must calm down. This was pure poison for the child. But the fear was so great that Madlen wasn’t able to calm her breathing.
“You are burning up, my child,” Elsbeth said as she lay her hand across Madlen’s forehead, then touched her face tenderly. “What happened?”
Madlen was unable to answer. The tears ran down her face. Her whole world had collapsed. What should she do now? How could she explain it to Johannes?
“Please don’t cry, my darling. The doctor’s coming soon. And everything’s going to be all right with the baby, of that I’m sure. Don’t worry.” Elsbeth tried her best to soothe Madlen. She sent Helene into the kitchen and told her to bring some spiced wine. She was noticeably relieved when she heard Johannes’s voice, and a few moments later, he and the doctor entered the married couple’s bedchamber together.
Johannes hurried into the room and bent over Madlen. “The doctor is here. Everything’s going to be all right now.”
The doctor approached the bed. “Maria, your husband brought me here. Describe exactly what kind of pain you have.” Elsbeth and Johannes went to the other side of the bed, and the doctor sat next to her. He felt her forehead and her cheeks.
“Your husband told me you’re expecting. Sometimes a woman in your condition can experience brief bouts of weakness.” As he spoke, he held out a sharp instrument used for bloodletting. Madlen’s eyes flashed in terror.
“I’m doing better,” she lied. “It’s just a moment of weakness, like you said. Thank you. I don’t need any help now.”
“Well, I’ll be the judge of that.” He held up the sharp medical instrument with a look of satisfaction on his face. Madlen panicked.
“Johannes, I’m better now.” She looked at her husband urgently. “I simply want to rest.”
“We’ll start with a bloodletting then observe whether your body cools down and relaxes a bit.” The doctor acted as if he hadn’t heard a word Madlen had said.
“No!” Madlen pulled her blankets higher.
“But oh, why so scared of a little bloodletting?” The doctor laughed.
“Johannes. Tell him to go!” she screeched.
“But Maria, he just wants to help you.”
“Now, now.” The doctor tried to pull the blankets away, so he could grab Madlen’s arm. She screamed in desperation.
“Stop it!” Johannes went around to the other side of the bed.
“What are you thinking? Didn’t you just come begging for my help?”
“My wife says she’s feeling better. She knows what she wants.”
“Her bodily fluids must be brought back into line so they don’t poison the baby. A bloodletting is the only way to accomplish this.”
“Such nonsense!” Madlen screamed. “Get away from me and my child, or you will live to regret it!”
“But Maria,” Elsbeth exclaimed indignantly, “he just wants to help. You’re in such an awful state.”
“I’m better now,” Madlen replied as calmly as possible. “And I want nothing more than to sleep and get my strength back. I will not allow you to stab me with that thing.”
“Many people are afraid of this treatment,” the doctor said jovially. “Believe me, after the first time, you won’t be afraid.”
“Tell him that he needs to go!” Madlen looked straight at Johannes.
“It would be better if you could go now.” Johannes pulled out a small pouch of money. “Please take this as my thanks for your efforts. If we should need you again, I will make sure to bring you back.”
“And the bloodletting?”
“Not today.”
The doctor shook his head in frustration, got off the bed, and took the money. “Your decision is not wise.” He tucked the pouch into his vest and began to collect his medical instruments. When he was done, he gave Madlen a serious look. “I hope for everyone’s sake that this doesn’t damage your child.”
She nodded but didn’t reply.
He said his good-byes to Johannes and Elsbeth, who apologized profusely for her daughter-in-law’s stubbornness and went to see him out.
“What in the world was that? The man is an experienced doctor who’s helped many people. You should have taken his help.”
“Isn’t that the same doctor who claims the cough can only be cured by bloodletting and prayers?”
“What do you mean? Why are you so angry with me? Is it because I didn’t tell you about my contract with the archbishop?”
Madlen knew she shouldn’t say anything. She was scared and desperate. But Johannes was right. She was angry. Angry at him, angry at this quack doctor, angry at everybody that she’d helped who had betrayed her.
“Maria.” Johannes sat on the bed. “This isn’t like you. Please talk to me.”
“I just want to rest.” She needed a way to escape this situation. “Please leave me alone.”
“But I just . . .”
“Please, Johannes.” She placed her hand over his mouth. “I don’t think it’s too much to ask to let me sleep now. I don’t feel well, and I need some peace and quiet.”
“Forgive me.” He stood up immediately. He’d never seen his wife like this; the look she gave him made him uneasy. Did he see hate in her eyes?
Madlen turned onto her side so that she didn’t have to look at Johannes’s face. She heard him blow out the candles and leave the room. She pulled the blankets over her mouth so that he couldn’t hear her sobbing.
Chapter Twenty-One
“You have to leave right now.” Agathe paced up and down the room.
Madlen had come early in the morning to tell her aunt what had happened. She sat, her face ashen, her shoulders drooping, nervously kneading her hands. “But where can I go?”
“I don’t know, but you can’t stay here. As soon as this Matthias shows up in Worms, Johannes will realize who the secret healer is. And even if everybody in Worms tries to protect you, you are still wanted for murder in Heidelberg. Matthias Trauenstein would have every right to drag you back there.”
Madlen shook even more violently. “I want to die.”
Agathe stopped cold. “Don’t say that.” She went to her niece and held her by the shoulders. “Don’t ever say that again. Do you hear me?”
Madlen nodded numbly.
“I know a fisherman. My husband and I often helped him back in the old days. Hugo owes me. I’ll go to him right away. He’ll take you down the Rhine.”
“And then?”
Agathe put her hands on her face and rubbed her eyes. A devastating headache pounded against her temples. “I really don’t know,” she said desperately. She dropped her hands back onto her lap. “But we have to keep our wits about us and be smart. Otherwise, your life and your child’s won’t be worth a pfennig.”
Madlen laid her hand on her stomach. “I’m so scared, Agathe. I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t want to run away from Johannes, or from you.” She cried. “I’ve never tried to hurt anybody.” Her shoulders shook.
Agathe went over, stood next to her, and stroked her tenderly. “I know. But we can’t change it. Nobody will believe you.” She patted Madlen lightly on the back. “Believe me, I’m so very sad that you have to go. But there’s no other way. If we don’t prepare everything now and Matthias Trauenstein comes to town earlier than expected, it will be too late.”
Madlen nodded. “What should I do?”
“You can’t go back to the Goldmanns’ house; you have to leave Worms today.”
“You mean without seeing Johannes for the last time?” Madlen could barely breathe.
“You must. Go to your old room and gather everything that can help you. I’ll give you all the money that I have. You’ll need it to start a new life from scratch.”
“But where should I go?”
“Try traveling downriver to the north.” Agathe thought about it feverishly. “I know a merchant in Emmerich, who often buys clothes from me. The city is independent and part of the Hanseatic League. You could go to the merchant . . .” She looked down on the weeping Madlen. “Are you listening to me at all?”
Madlen sobbed so violently that she was hardly able to speak. “I’ll be running my whole life. I’ll never belong anywhere, and I’ll always be alone. And what will become of my child? I can’t do it, Agathe.”
“What are you saying?”
“I know that you mean well. But I’m not going to run again. What kind of a life would that be?” She looked at her aunt in despair. “No. I’m going to stay put. If they hang me, then they hang me. That will be the end of it.”
“Madlen, pull yourself together. Think about your child.”
“I don’t have the strength. I felt so safe here with you. You were like a mother to me.”
“Then let me protect you now, like a mother would.” Agathe sat down in the other chair and held Madlen’s hands in hers. They stayed this way for a moment, without speaking. Agathe looked at her pregnant niece. It was true. She loved her as if she were her own daughter. The more she thought about it, the clearer everything became. “What if I went with you?”
Madlen looked up. “What?”
“If I accompanied you, perhaps it would be even less suspicious. In the eyes of the people, you would be a woman who simply left her husband and disappeared from the city. There could be all kinds of reasons if you were accompanied by your foster mother. People would just assume that it was a dispute between man and wife.”
“Actually, that’s not even wrong.”
“And if I were you, I would leave quickly so that Johannes doesn’t have time to ask any questions.”
“And Roswitha?”
“She’ll be marrying Sander soon. I’ll ask Otilia if she can take Roswitha into her household until then. She would not refuse me this favor.”
Madlen liked the idea better the more she thought about it.
“And your work? You love making dresses. You said it yourself. You don’t have to give that up for me.”
“And I won’t. One can purchase fabric anywhere. It will be difficult to start anew, but I did it before, and I can do it again. And now there are two of us. You can help me with sewing, and I can help you with the new baby. We’ll be there for each other. Just like a real mother and daughter. What do you say?”
Madlen smiled brightly. “You’d do that for me?”
Agathe squeezed her hand. “Pack your things, but don’t bring too much. I will take care of the boat and speak to Otilia.”
“Thank you.” Madlen looked at her aunt tearfully.
“We can do this. You, me, and the little person growing inside you.” She smiled bravely.
“Only one more thing,” Madlen asked. “What about Johannes?”
Agathe shook her head slowly. “As much as it pains me to say this, you can’t see him again.”
“Not even to say good-bye to him? I promise not to say anything.”
“You can’t promise that. Believe me, this is how it must be. He loves you. He won’t let you go. Besides, it will be easier for him if he doesn’t see you again.”
“Why is that?”
“He’ll think that you simply left him without remorse. He’ll hate you for it. And it will make it easier for him to get over you.”
“He’ll hate me,” Madlen repeated softly.
“Yes, but it’s better than seeing you hanging from the gallows.”
The thought frightened Madlen. “You think he would despise me for what I’ve done?”
“Yes, because he wouldn’t understand it. And it’s his duty to surrender you to the archbishop. The woman he loves, the mother of his child, led to the gallows by his hand. Do you really think that he could live with that more easily than you leaving without a word?”
Madlen pondered her aunt’s words as they echoed through her head. She was right. Running away and leaving Johannes in the dark was kinder, even though he wouldn’t realize it at first. “I’ll pack up our things together. You take care of the boat and Otilia. We don’t have any time to lose.”
The sun warmed their backs as the boat slowly sailed north on the Rhine. Madlen stood on the railing, looking back until Worms disappeared from sight. Then she stepped onto one of the crates sitting next to the railing as the landscape slid past her. She knew she didn’t have any other choice.
She was impressed with how quickly Agathe had resolved all outstanding issues and returned to the house. She even took time to collect money from those who had not yet paid for their dresses. Though her livelihood was taken care of some time ago, now Madlen was worried about the immediate future. Agathe had given up everything for her. Once again, she asked herself what she’d done to deserve such kindness. “We’ve forgotten to cancel the lesson with Brother Simon,” she said suddenly.
“That’s right. I knew there was something else. Well, all right. He’ll figure it out when he comes knocking on our front door.”
“I have two books he gave me.”
“Don’t be too glum. He was paid well, and soon you would have no longer needed him. It’s going to have to do for now. Don’t fret.”
Agathe seemed to know all the right things to say to console Madlen. She was both happy and relieved to have her by her side. Without her, she might have thrown herself into the Rhine in despair.
“What are you thinking about?” Agathe asked as she squatted on the crates next to her.
“This and that. I wonder what kind of life awaits us.”
“We’ll have the life we choose to create.” Madlen knew that her aunt would never show her how hard it was to leave all that she had built in Worms.
“I hope you won’t regret taking this step.” Madlen laid her hand on the railing and tilted her head.
“I won’t regret it,” Agathe stated confidently. “I don’t believe in regret. I make decisions, and then I live with the consequences. If I questioned everything I did, I wouldn’t be able to move forward.”
“You’re so brave. I often think of all the things that could go wrong. I’d like to be more like you.”
“Like me?” Agathe laughed. “Believe me, you don’t want to do that. I’ve made so many mistakes. But we all make mistakes. Some more than others. And yet, we always have the opportunity to do better next time.”
“It always seems like you have an answer for everything.”
“There are no difficulties that can’t be resolved.” Agathe smiled mysteriously. “I believe that God gives us challenges to overcome. It’s his way of letting us grow.”
“So do you think that God is just testing me?”
“It’s possible.”
“But why?”
“Only He knows why. We are too unenlightened to understand everything, but we can rely on the fact that all will be well in the end.”
“How do you know? That it will end well?”
“I just know. Believe me. One day, you will understand all of this.”
It took five days to reach Emmerich; they docked at dusk.
Madlen was completely exhausted. With each day, the oppressive feeling of confinement weighed on her more and more. She paced up and down the boat to get a little bit of exercise. When they finally arrived, she could hardly wait to get off.
Agathe’s initial plan was to stay with one of her steady customers, but she eventually rejected that idea. She wasn’t sure whom she could trust. So they decided to stay at a tavern before finding a decent place to live. As they walked ashore on the narrow plank, they paused and looked around. Emmerich looked quite different than Worms or even Heidelberg, both of which were surrounded by hills. Here, everything was flat. Houses were densely packed into straight rows. Madlen liked it immediately; the harmonious construction was simple and exuded a certain calm.
“Hugo, do you know of an inn suitable for two women?” Agathe asked the captain, who moored his boat, then accompanied them ashore.
“Try the Golden Rooster. I stayed there myself a couple of times when I had business here. There’s a woman in charge. Fronicka kept the tavern after her Ewald passed on. And believe me, she has everything under control there. A man who didn’t mind his manners could get a certain body part sliced off.” The skipper laughed throatily. Agathe didn’t actually want to know exactly what he meant by that remark.
“And where is the Golden Rooster?”
“Go straight ahead to the marketplace. You can’t miss it.”
Agathe paid him. “Here, as agreed. I thank you for everything. And you know that . . .” She held up her finger to warn him.
“If somebody asks me, I will say that I brought you to Rotterdam. From there, you wanted to go to Bruges.”
“Exactly. Thank you.”
“My pleasure. I’m indebted to Reinhard and you far beyond this little boat ride.”
“We were friends, just like we are now. We’re even now.”
He tipped his cap. “I hope that you’ll find happiness. May God protect you.”
“Have a safe trip home.”
The women waved good-bye, as the boat slowly pulled away from the dock and he set sail. It wasn’t long before he’d disappeared from sight.
“Then off we go to the Golden Rooster.” Agathe picked up their baggage.
Madlen did the same and gazed at the houses as she tried to keep up with Agathe. “I like this city,” she said. “It looks totally different than ours.”
“Do you mean Heidelberg or Worms?”
“Actually both. The land is so flat here. There are no hills.”
“You’re right. It didn’t occur to me. All right now, let’s go. Hopefully, they’ll have a room for us there. I just want to lie down on a bed and not see or hear anything more for today.”
They found the Golden Rooster immediately. Fronicka, the landlady, eyed the two of them before assigning them to a room on the top floor. “But the charge is the same.”
“I’ll pay you for one night in advance. We’ll do so every day.” Agathe gave her some coins.
“How long do you plan to stay here?”
“We don’t know yet.”
“Neither one of you are from here. I can hear it in your speech.”
Agathe looked at the landlady evenly. “You have a fine ear,” she replied.
A little while later, they moved up to their room, furnished with three simple beds, a table with two chairs, and a chest. Madlen put her sack on the third bed, when there was a knock. A maid brought fresh water for washing up and quietly left.
“What do we do now?” Madlen sat on a chair.
Agathe chose a bed and lay down. “Rest,” she said, stretching out her tired limbs.
“But it’s not evening yet,” Madlen argued.
“You’re pregnant and I’m old. Let’s go to sleep. Tomorrow is another day; we can get started on our new life then. But I want to rest now.”
Madlen sighed. She hadn’t found the trip as strenuous. To lie down in the middle of the day and sleep seemed strange. She wanted to go out and see Emmerich. “Do you have anything against me going out alone?”
Agathe opened one eye. “Of course, I do. For the love of God, let me rest a little. If you go out running around in a city that you don’t know, I’ll be so worried that I won’t be able to sleep a wink. Please, can’t you just simply lie down?”
Madlen was moved by Agathe’s concern. Her aunt had sacrificed so much to make sure she was safe; shouldn’t she be able to indulge her aunt’s simple request? “You’re right. Let’s sleep. It will do me and my child good.”
“Thank you.” Agathe turned her head to the side and fell asleep almost instantly. The tension they’d felt since they departed Worms subsided a little. Agathe was completely worn out; she was unable to stay conscious for one moment longer.