The Savage Grace: A Dark Divine Novel (11 page)

LATER THAT EVENING

Dad being worse off now because of my botched healing attempt

+

Finally having the moonstone and not being able to use it

+

Fearing my anger was driving Daniel away, and not knowing how to get rid of it + Knowing Gabriel, the one person I had left to rely on, had to leave or else my town might become a paranormal war zone

= PRETTY MUCH THE PERFECT RECIPE FOR INSOMNIA

I tried watching TV for a while in hopes of getting sleepy, but the only thing on was the local news. They kept showing live updates about the warehouse fire that had now spread to the abandoned train station and threatened other buildings on the block. They cut in with occasional reports on Dad’s medical status (still critical). And the only other story they seemed to have to run with was the death of Pete Bradshaw. The phone started ringing so I hit the Off button on the remote just as a reporter shoved a microphone into poor Ann Bradshaw’s face just outside her house.

I looked at the caller ID on the wireless handset.

Aunt Carol.

I’d found a long piece of string in the utility drawer in the kitchen and had used it to hang the moonstone around my neck as a pendant. I clutched at it now for strength as I answered the phone.

Aunt Carol immediately laid me flat with a lecture about how I should have called her right away and not let her find out about my father from the evening news—apparently, the story about the explosion was being reported as far away as Cincinnati. But then whatever latent motherly instinct was buried inside my aunt must have surfaced, because the next thing I knew I was insisting that she didn’t need to drive all the way out here with Charity and James to be with me.

“I’m fine. And the ICU won’t let James and Charity visit because they’re both under thirteen, so I think it’s better if they stay out there. I don’t think they’d be able to handle being this close without being allowed to see him.” I knew that reasoning probably wouldn’t keep my sister away, and I contemplated asking Aunt Carol to keep the news from Charity all together. But I knew how pissed I’d be if I were her when I eventually did find out. It’s just that the last thing I needed was the three of them coming here, with so many dangers looming and so many secrets that could be exposed. I’d promised James once that I’d keep him safe, and the best way to do that right now was to keep him away.

Aunt Carol definitely wasn’t keeping mum on the subject, because it was only five minutes after I’d hung up with her that I had to field a call from Grandma Kramer in Florida. If it weren’t for my grandfather’s recent health problems, I knew I would have ended up with them on the doorstep pretty soon, too.

Once phone calls were finished, I was even less sleepy and I couldn’t shake the need to feel somewhat productive—so I went upstairs and started in on some of my homework, and attempted to finish a stack of Daniel’s missed assignments, too. All the while, I cursed the fact that Daniel and I had only three classes together. I was at a total loss when it came to his calculus homework, and the one assignment we did have in common—tracking the upcoming eclipse for our astronomy class—couldn’t be done until the lunar eclipse on Saturday. I tucked that worksheet back into my backpack, where I found Mr. Barlow’s letters of recommendation for Trenton.

I slid open my desk drawer and pulled out the large white envelope that contained my Trenton application. I’d looked at it only once since I’d gotten it, and I remembered feeling overwhelmed—now I had
two
to tackle by Friday. It might seem like a trivial thing to be worried about at a time like this, but Trenton was what Daniel had always wanted, and Dad was right: I needed to make sure Daniel had a future to come back to.

The actual application part would be easy, yet time-consuming, to fill out for Daniel. However, it was the essays that scared me. I mean, I barely knew the answers to the questions for myself, let alone how to answer them on someone else’s behalf. I stared at the broken blue seal on the envelope for a long time and then stuck it back in my drawer.

Later
, I thought and went back to homework.

I picked up Daniel’s chem book and settled onto my bed, thinking that if anything were going to help me fall asleep, it would be chemistry. Besides, I figured I could successfully tackle a few of those assignments since I’d had that class last year. The only problem was that as soon as I flipped the book open to
chapter ten
, the memory of studying this assignment with Pete Bradshaw at the library last year overtook my thoughts.

I’d all but forgotten that Pete and I had not only been chem lab partners, but also friends, before things changed between us. Before I realized what kind of violent person lurked under his letterman’s jacket and that “triple-threat smile.” Before he agreed to help Jude try to turn me against Daniel. Before the night my car broke down in the city and he tried to trick me into thinking I was being stalked by the Markham Street Monster—just so he could
pretend
to be my hero. Before he attacked me in the alley between the school and parish the night of the Christmas dance.

But it wasn’t my fault he’d lost control. I wasn’t the one who made him an entitled jerk who thought he could have whatever—or whoever—he wanted. I wasn’t the one who made him get drunk and attack me the night of the Christmas dance.… And he obviously hadn’t learned his lesson very well. He and his friends had jumped Daniel a couple of weeks ago. And who knows what he would have tried to do to me that night I ran into him at the Depot.

The night he was later brutally beaten into a coma.

But he deserved it.

“No,” I told the wolf’s voice. There had been a moment when the wolf had succeeded in convincing me that what had happened to Pete was perfectly deserved. But it was the same afternoon that I had almost lost complete control myself—when the wolf in my head propelled me to Daniel’s doorstep and I practically attacked him in my frenzy.

You’re no better than Pete. Daniel should hate you for what you almost did to him. No wonder he wants to leave you.

The wolf was overwhelming sometimes in how quickly it could change its tactics, glomming onto any doubt that flitted through my mind. Clawing me apart from the inside.

Pete and I are different
, I tried to tell myself. I’d almost lost control because there was a beast inside my head driving me to hurt the ones I love. Pete didn’t have that excuse. He was perfectly human.

Yet he was still a monster.

The image of Pete lying on that hospital bed, being jolted with electricity by the doctor, flashed in my head. His face had looked so different today. Like a distorted mask of who he used to be. So lifeless and pale. Pete did the things he did of his own accord, but he still didn’t deserve to
die
. For the last year, I’d told myself that I had forgiven him for all the things he’d done to me, but had I really?

And now it was too late.…

What would happen if I waited too long to forgive everyone else?

NIGHTMARE

I must have fallen asleep eventually in the stack of books and papers on my bed, because one moment I was reading, and the next I found myself standing in the alley where Pete had attacked me the night of the Christmas dance. I wore my white dress with the violet sash, and I could feel the cold night air on my skin, even though I knew I was just dreaming.

It wasn’t one of my pleasant dreams of Daniel. It was a nightmare, I realized, when I saw that I wasn’t alone in the alley. Pete was there, just as angry and dangerous as he’d been that terrible night. The fear and desperation to get away from him felt just as real, too. The dream progressed, and I relived more of that horrific night. Don Mooney stabbing Pete, then almost suffocating me in an effort to quiet my screams. Daniel coming to my rescue, and then the two of us trying to hunt down Jude and lead him away from the school dance before he was overtaken by the werewolf curse. In my nightmare, I was forced to reexperience the moment when Jude found us on the roof of the parish, and I watched again as he pitched Daniel’s moonstone off the roof. I remembered the way Daniel had arched his head back and howled a scream.…

EARLY TUESDAY MORNING

I shot bolt upright in my bed, my legs and arms tangled in my sheets. The sky outside my window was a purply early-morning gray. I thought it was the noise of Daniel’s scream that had awoken me from my terrible dream, but then the noise sounded again, and I realized it was the ring of my cell phone next to my bed.

I had no idea who would call so early in the morning, but I was grateful for the reprieve from my nightmare. Part of me wondered if being forced to relive that horrific night was God’s way of punishing me for neglecting Him for so long. I grabbed my phone and flipped it open without checking the caller ID.

“Hello,” I said groggily.

“Grace,” came April’s voice. It sounded even shakier than usual. “Have you seen the news yet this morning?”

“No, it’s”—I checked the clock—“barely six a.m.”

“I got up early to make some breakfast for Jude. He was really upset last night, and I thought if I brought him something homemade, it might help him feel better. But I turned on my mom’s radio in the kitchen … and I heard a report about something that happened at City Hospital…” She sounded too upset to finish her sentence.

“What?”
Something about my dad? Please don’t let it be something about my dad!

“A woman was found dead in the parking lot of the hospital. Near that grove of trees on the west side. An ICU nurse.”

“What?” I felt a rush of relief that it wasn’t news about my dad, and sudden panic at what this might mean. “Do they know what happened?”

“They’re saying it was a wild-animal attack.”

This was bad. Very. Very. Bad. I’d heard what Deputy Marsh had said about one more attack being all the justification he needed to get a hunting party together. Even if the attack had been all the way in the city, with two people dead now, I didn’t see that stopping those hunters from going after Daniel.

Suddenly, I remembered seeing the white wolf watching me from that same grove of trees last night when I left the hospital. But no, it couldn’t be.… He
wouldn’t.
… Whatever Daniel was now, I didn’t sense any malevolence in him.

“What time did they say it happened?”

“Just after midnight.”

“Thank goodness.” Daniel had been back in Rose Crest by then. We’d heard him howling just before ten p.m. Gabriel said he’d stay with him through the night. I could prove it wasn’t him if I had to.

And then another thought hit me. What if someone was
trying
to make it look like Daniel had done it … like the way my brother had staged those attacks last year to frame Daniel…

I shook my head. Dreaming of Jude’s misdeeds all night long must have made me paranoid this morning. Jude was locked up, after all. He would have been at the parish all last night, with Zach and Ryan guarding him and everything.

“I need … I need to tell you something, Grace.” “What is it?”

“I let Jude out last night.”

“You did
what
?”

“He was so upset about your dad. He begged me to let him go see him. I just couldn’t say no. I sent Zach and Ryan away, and then I let Jude out. He promised he’d come back. He said he wouldn’t be gone longer than two hours. He swore to me he’d just check in on your dad and come right back.”

“Did you stay there to make sure he did?”

“No. My mom called and got real mad because I was out past my ten thirty curfew. I left, and I have no idea if he…” She took in a gulp of air. “Gracie, do you think Jude could have done this?”

A nurse at my father’s hospital had been killed, and my brother had been loose at the same time. He was probably still loose now—doing heaven only knows what. Every fear I’d had about Jude since the moment he
claimed
he wanted to come home came crashing in on me.

“Yes.” I snapped my phone shut and sprinted from my house, headed toward the parish.

I had to see the evidence for myself.

A FEW SHORT MINUTES LATER

My ankle had healed considerably with almost a full night’s sleep, but I still couldn’t run at my top speed because too much of Rose Crest was already out and about this morning. It felt like torture slowing my pace down enough just to look like someone out for a morning jog—which I realize now probably would have been more convincing if I’d bothered to put on shoes before bolting from the house. And I was still wearing the pair of pale green scrubs I’d changed into at the hospital.

I ran past Mr. Day, who was setting up a display outside his shop, and then rounded onto Crescent Street. When I was sure no one else was around, I kicked up my speed and flew across the parish’s parking lot and into the building. I pounded down the stairs into the darkened basement without stopping to turn on any lights.

What am I going to do if Jude isn’t here
?

What am I going to do if he
is
?

I ran right up to the storage cage and grabbed the iron bars of the gate with both hands. The gate was closed and bolted by a thick padlock, but the two “watchmen” chairs outside the cage sat empty.

“Jude?” I called into the dark cell. “Jude!”

I heard a moan. Something shifted deep inside the storage cage.

“Grace?”

I blinked several times and focused my powers into my eyes until I felt that familiar popping sensation behind my pupils. My night vision sharpened in the dark, and I was able to see Jude as he sat up on the narrow cot in the far corner of the cage. His long hair was disheveled, and he rubbed his eyes like he’d been in a deep sleep before I came crashing in on his slumber. “I thought you might finally come today.” He blinked and scrubbed his hand down the side of his face. “What time is it?”

He was here! Asleep.
Jude had come back. That had to
mean
something.

He’s just covering his tracks,
hissed the wolf.
Tricking you into thinking he’s innocent.

“Did you do it?” I asked. “Did you kill that nurse at the hospital?”

Jude squinted at me. “What are you talking about? What nurse? I’ve been here in this place,” he indicated the cage bars, “since you decided I needed to be locked up.”

“Don’t lie to me. April told me she let you out last night. I know you went to the hospital. And now there’s a dead nurse. She was killed by a
wild animal
just after midnight.”

Jude shot up from the cot and stormed over to the gate. He clutched the bars, his hands just above mine.

“And that’s your first thought? That
I
did it?”

He slammed his hand against the iron bars. The gate rattled in my face. I realized then that the padlock was just a formality. He could tear this gate off its hinges if he wanted.

I didn’t back away, but I couldn’t look him in the eyes. I was too afraid of what I might see. “Answer my question. Did. You. Do. It?”

“Would I have come back here if I did?”

“You tell me. What happened last night?”

“I went straight to the city, looked in on Dad, and then came right back here. I didn’t talk to anyone—and certainly didn’t
kill
anyone—while I was gone. I was back here by eleven.” He jabbed his finger at the little TV Dad had set up in the cell for him. “I can reenact the
late Show
for you if you want. That actor April is always going on about did a tap dance on the host’s desk and accidentally kicked a coffee mug onto a supermodel. It was a real riot,” he said with a bitter bite in his voice.

I let go of the bars. “I just needed to know.”

“Nice, Grace. I’ve been back for over a week, and the first time you come to see me, you accuse me of murder. When Daniel was back for that same amount of time, you were trying to kiss him. I’m glad to know where I stand with you.”

His words were so true they stung like a fresh slap. I stepped back from the gate. “Jude, I’m—”

“Get out,” he snarled.

“Jude, please.”

“Get out of here!” he screamed, and slammed both of his hands against the gate. The hinges groaned. “Don’t come back here again. If you think I’m such a
wild animal
, then you’d better keep the hell away from me.”

“Jude—”

“Out!” he roared, looking like he was about to tear down the gate.

I stumbled back toward the stairs and scrambled my way back up to the foyer.

JUST AFTER SUNRISE

I sat on the steps outside the parish, watching the sun silently change the sky above the hills of Rose Crest from a purple-gray into a crisp bright yellow that contrasted starkly with my black mood. I hated myself for jumping to such a terrible conclusion about Jude.

So much for trying to make peace.

Only I knew that I would be immensely stupid for
not
suspecting him right off—especially if he really did turn out to be the killer.…

Gah! There I went again.

It had to mean something that he’d come back after being let out last night.

Perfect alibi,
whispered the wolf.

And what did it mean that all this time he could have ripped off the gate and escaped—yet he allowed himself to be locked up?

He’s fooling you.

Urgh
. I clasped the moonstone pendant in my fingers and pushed the wolf’s voice from my mind.

If it hadn’t been for that terrible dream last night—reliving the night Jude fell to the werewolf curse—making me so paranoid in the first place, I might have been able to be more rational before storming in on him with my accusations.

What was the point of that dream anyway?

Why would my subconscious—or Daniel, or whoever or whatever was trying to communicate with me through my REM cycle—want me to relive what happened that night on the roof of the parish?

Maybe god really is punishing me.…

Or perhaps Daniel was still desperately trying to tell me to look for the moonstone in the parish yard. He didn’t know that I already had it. That it hung from my neck now.

But it was clear I wasn’t ready to use it.

The anger I’d felt last night—the way I’d wanted to lash out at my own mother, and the damage I’d wanted to inflict on Talbot when I learned of his deceit—scared me. It was consuming me the way Gabriel said it would—and I’d unleashed it once again on my own brother just now.

I was driving everyone away from me.

I pressed the moonstone pendant tight in my palm. I might even still lose Daniel before I was able to change him back.

Perhaps I really would end up all alone with the just the wolf inside my head.