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but in the end she made me agree to look more closely into the Christian teachings. I could see nothing wrong in their attempts to defend themselves against the Jews. But I was fairly sure they would be punished if the disorders continued, whether they or the faithful Jews were responsible. Aquila admitted that there had been trouble earlier, but not to the same extent as now. He assured me that the Christians usually met without attracting attention and also answered evil words with good. But the Christian Jews also had a legal right to go into the synagogues and listen to the scripts and to speak there. Many of them had taken part in the raising of the new synagogues. I took Claudia home through the warm summer night, past Vatican and out of the city. We saw the glare of fires and heard the murmur of the crowd across the river. Wagons and carts loaded with foodstuffs on their way to the market halls were waiting, crowded together on the road. The country people wondered anxiously what was happening in the city. It was whispered from man to man that one Christus was rousing the Jews to murder and arson. No one seemed to have a good word to say for the Jews. As we walked, I began to limp and my head ached. I was surprised that I had hitherto not felt any ill-effects from the injuries I had received in the fighting. When we eventually arrived at Claudia�s hut, I was feeling so wretched that she would not let me return, but begged me to stay the night. In spite of my protests, she put me to bed in her own bed by the light of an oil lamp, but then sighed so much as she busied herself around the room that I had to ask her what was wrong. �I�m neither pure nor without sin,� she said. �But every word you told me about that shameless Briton girl has fallen like drops of fire on my heart, although I can�t even remember her name:� �Try to forgive me that I could not keep my promise,� I said. �What do I care about your promise?� wailed Claudia. �I�m cursing myself. I am the flesh of my mother�s flesh and the profligate Claudius is my father. I can�t help it if I am deeply disturbed to see you lying in my bed.� But her hands were as cold as ice when she clasped mine in them. Her lips too were cold when she bent down and kissed me. �Oh, Minutus,� she whispered. �I haven�t had the courage to
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confess to you before that my cousin Gaius violated me when I was only a child. It amused him sometimes to sleep in turn with his sisters. That is why I�ve hated all men. You�re the only one I haven�t hated, because you accepted me as a friend without knowing who I was.� What more need I say? To console her, I drew her into bed with inc and she trembled with cold and shame. And neither can I justify my action by saying she was older than I, for I must admit I became more and more ardent until she came to me, laughing and crying, and I realized that I loved her. When we woke in the morning, we both felt so happy that we did not want to think about anything but ourselves. Radiating happiness, Claudia was beautiful in my eyes despite her coarse features and thick eyebrows. Lugunda became a distant shadow. Claudia was a mature woman in comparison to that immature, capricious girl. We exchanged no promises and did not even wish to think of the future yet. If I were oppressed by a vague feeling of guilt, I comforted myself with the thought that Claudia knew very well what she was doing. At least she had something else to think about besides the superstitious mysteries of the Christians. I was pleased about that. When I returned home, Aunt Laelia commented acidly on the anxiety she had felt when I had been out all night without telling her about it beforehand. She looked at me carefully with her red- rimmed eyes and said reproachfully, �Your face is as radiant as if you were brooding on some shameful secret. As long as you haven�t strayed into some Syrian brothel.� She sniffed my clothes suspiciously. �No,� she went on, �you don't smell of a brothel. But you must have spent the night somewhere. Now don�t go and get yourself involved in some sordid love affair. That will lead to nothing but trouble for both you and for others.� My friend Lucius Pollio, whose father had become Consul that year, came to see me in the afternoon. He was very disturbed by the rioting. �The Jews are getting more and more insolent under the protection of their privileges;� he said. �The City Prefect has been interrogating arrested people all morning and has definite evidence
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that it is a Jew called Christus who is rousing the slaves and the mob. He�s not an ex-gladiator, as Spartacus was, but a traitor who was condemned in Jerusalem but in some way came to life after being crucified. The Prefect has ordered his arrest and has put a price on his head. But I�m afraid the man has already fled the city now that his rebellion has not succeeded.� I was greatly tempted to explain to the learned Lucius that by Christus the Jews meant the Messiah they believed in, but I could not reveal that I knew too much about this seditious teaching of theirs. We went through the manuscript of my book once again to make the writing as clear as possible. Lucius Polio promised to find a publisher if the book passed the acid test which public reading constitutes. According to him, the work might do quite well. Claudius would be glad to be reminded of his own successful campaign in Britain. One could Ratter him by showing an interest in the affairs of Britain, and in this respect my book should prove excellent, according to Pollio. The differences of opinion over the ownership of synagogues which had originally given rise to the rioting amongst the Jews were settled by the City Prefect, who proclaimed that all those who had contributed to the raising of them should have the right to use them. The strict Jews and the more liberal Jews had their own synagogues. But when the Jews who recognized Christ took over a synagogue, the other Jews removed the valuable scrolls and preferred to set fire to the synagogue rather than let the hated Christians take it over. From this, new troubles arose. In the end, the faithful Jews made a great political blunder by appealing to the Emperor. Claudius was already angered by the riots which were disturbing the happiness of his new marriage. He became even angrier when the Jews dared to remind him that he would not now be Emperor but for their support. It was in fact true that Claudius� drinking companion, Herod Agrippa, had borrowed from the rich Jews of Rome the money needed to bribe the Praetorians after the murder of Gaius Caligula. But Claudius had had to repay exorbitant interest on the money and for other reasons did not want to be reminded of this incident which had wounded his vanity. His drunkard�s head began to shake with rage. Stammering more than usual, he ordered the Jews to leave and threatened
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to banish them all from Rome if he ever heard of any more disturbances The Christian Jews and the mob which had joined them had their own leaders too. To my astonishment, I met at my father�s and Tullia�s house the argumentative Aquila, his wife Prisca, and a few other respectable citizens whose only fault was that they had leanings toward the Christian mysteries. I had gone to see my father to talk about Claudia. I was now visiting her twice a week and staying overnight with her, I felt strongly that something should be done about it all, though Claudia had made no direct demands. When I surprised my father and disturbed the meeting, he told me to wait a moment and then went on talking. �I know more than a little about the king of the Jews,� he was saying, �for after his crucifixion, I was in Galilee and was myself convinced that he had risen from his tomb. His disciples did reject me, but I can confirm that he in no way roused the people in the manner that is happening here in Rome.� I had heard all this before and could not think why my father in his old age kept repeating the same old story. But Aquila tried to explain. �Whatever we do,� he said, �we are everyone�s stumbling block. We are hated more than the idol-worshipers. We can�t even maintain mutual love and humility among ourselves, for everyone thinks he knows best. The ones who are most enthusiastic to spread the word are those who have just found the way and acknowledged Christus.� �Anyhow, they are saying that he himself threw fire over the earth and separated man from wife and put children against their parents,� said Prisca. �And that�s just what�s happening here in Rome, although we mean well. How love and humility can bear fruit in quarrels, disunity, hatred, spite and envy, I cannot imagine.� As I listened to them, I was filled with righteous anger. �What do you want of my father?� I cried. �Why do you torment him so that he has to wrangle with you? My father is a kindly, good-natures man. I won�t allow you to involve him in your idiotic quarrels.� My father straightened up.
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�Be quiet, Minutus,� he said. Then he looked far back into the past and finally spoke again. �These matters can usually be cleared up by discussing them,� he said, �but this matter is becoming more involved the more it is discussed. But as you have asked my advice, then I would suggest this. Ask for a respite. In Emperor Gaius� time, the Jews in Antioch benefited greatly from this advice.� They stared at my father without understanding what he meant. �Separate from the Jews,� he said, smiling absently, �leave the synagogue, stop paying the temple taxes. Build your own meeting- houses if you want to. There are rich people among your followers. Perhaps you can collect large gifts from men and women who think they can buy peace of mind by supporting different gods. Don�t annoy the Jews. Keep silent when you are insulted. Keep your distance, as I do, and try not to hurt anyone.� �These are hard words,� they all said at once. �We must bear witness to our king and proclaim his kingdom. Otherwise we are not worthy of him.� My father spread out his hands and sighed heavily. �His kingdom is a long time coming,� he said, �but undoubtedly it is you who share his spirit and not I. Do as you wish. If the matter comes before the Senate, I shall try to put in a good word for you. But if you�ll permit it, then I�ll not mention the kingdom. That would only make you politically suspect.� They were content with this and left just in time, for Tullia met them in the arcade on her return from her round of visits, and she was not pleased. �Oh, Marcus,� she said. �How many times do I have to warn you against receiving these questionable Jews? I�ve nothing against your going to listen to philosophers. If it amuses you, you can help the poor, send your physician to the sick and give dowries to parentless girls. But, by all the gods, keep away from the Jews, for your own sake.� Then she turned her attention to me, complained about my bad shoes, the careless folds in my mantle and my badly cut hair. �You�re not among crude soldiers anymore,� she snapped. �You should take more care of your appearance for your father�s sake. I�ll have to send you a barber and valet, I suppose. Aunt Laelia is too old-fashioned and shortsighted to notice any longer.�
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I replied sullenly that I already had a barber, for I did not want to have any of her slaves dogging my every footstep. It was true that on my birthday I had bought and freed a slave for whom I had felt sorry and I had helped him to set up on his own in Subura. He was already doing quite well, selling women�s wigs and the usual procuring. I explained too that Aunt Laelia would he deeply offended if a strange slave came to see to my clothes. �Anyhow, one has more trouble than joy from slaves,� I said. Tullia remarked that it was entirely a matter of discipline. �But,� she said, �what do you really want to do with your life, Minutus? I�ve heard you spend your nights in brothels and neglect your studies with your rhetoric tutor. If you really want to read out your book this winter then you must keep your undisciplined body in check and work hard. It�s high time you made a suitable marriage.� I explained that I wanted to make the most of my youth, within limits, and that at least I had not landed myself in trouble with the authorities for drunkenness and other things young knights were known for. �I am looking around,� I said. �I take part in the riding exercises. I listen with the audience in the Praetorium if there is anything interesting. I read books. Seneca the philosopher has shown kindness to me. Naturally I am thinking of applying for a quaestor�s office sometime, but I�m still too young and inexperienced for that, even if I could get special permission.� Tullia looked at me pityingly. �You must realize that what is most important for your future is getting to know the right people,� she explained. �I�ve arranged invitations for you to good families, but they tell me you are sulky and silent and won�t meet friendship with friendship.� �My dear stepmother,� I said, �I respect your judgment in every way. But everything I have seen and heard in Rome tells me to avoid binding myself to people who at the moment are considered the right people. Two hundred or so knights, not to mention a number of senators, were executed or committed suicide only a �ear or two ago, simply because at the time they were the right people or knew the right people only too well.� �Thanks to Agrippina, all that�s changed now,� protested Tullia
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with perhaps too much eagerness. But my words gave her something to think about. �The wisest thing you could do,� she suggested after a while, �would be to devote your time to the races and join one of the color parties. That�s a completely nonpolitical interest but will still lead to useful connections. You like horses.� �One can have enough of horses,� I said. �Horses are less dangerous than women,� said Tullia maliciously. My father looked at her thoughtfully and said that for once she was right. �It would only attract unnecessary attention,� she said vindictively, �if you set up your own team at once, presuming your father can afford it. I know it�s only a matter of time now before we can let the fields grow again as pasture land. Growing corn in Italy will not pay once the harbor in Ostia is completed. But you�d hardly make a good horse breeder. Be content with betting on the races.� But my days were full enough without the circus. I had my own old house in Aventine, Barbus to look after, Aunt Laelia to appease, and I also had to defend my Gallic freedman when his neighbor accused him of causing an offensive smell with his soap making. It was a relatively simple matter defending him in court, for the tanneries and dye works caused far worse smells. But it was more difficult to meet the statement that the use of soap instead of pumice was weakening and against the will of our forefathers. The neighbor�s lawyer tried to have the manufacture of soap banned in Rome by appealing to the forefathers of our forefathers all the way back to Romulus, all of whom had been content to scour themselves with the health-giving and hardening pumice. In my speech for the defense, I praised Rome as an Empire and world power. �Romulus did not burn eastern incense before his idols,� I cried proudly. �Our stern forefathers did not have caviar brought from the other side of the Black Sea, or foreign birds from the Steppes, or flamingos� tongues or Indian fish. Rome is the melting pot of many peoples and customs. Rome chooses the best of everything and ennobles alien customs so that they become her own.� So the use of soap was not banned in Rome and my freedman