Damn it all, this inconvenience was getting out of hand. His wife was muddling his mind. His life was a carefully drawn map, and now she was easing her way right into his every thought.
It wasn't until they had reached the castle and Royce was carrying Nicholaa up the narrow steps to the bedchambers that he realized the full horror of his situation.
He didn't just care about her. He was falling in love with the woman.
God's truth, that admission so stunned him that he almost dropped her. He quickly recovered and continued on toward Nicholaa's chamber, his mind racing with all the reasons he couldn't possibly love such a stubborn, illogical woman. Hell, he didn't even like her most of the time.
Logic came to his rescue. It wasn't possible for him to love her. He didn't know how to love anyone. Aye, he told himself. He'd been trained all these years to be a warrior, and he had never learned how to love. Therefore, he reasoned quite logically, he couldn't possibly love Nicholaa.
It was all right to care about the woman, of course, for she was his possession. He could care as an owner would care about any valuable property.
Royce felt better after he'd sorted it all out. Yet he contradicted his new convictions by growling at all the servants who presumed they would take over Nicholaa's care. Baron Hugh had followed the parade of weeping women up the stairs. He stood in the doorway, watching with growing astonishment as Royce tried to put Nicholaa on the bed. The giant warrior couldn't seem to get the deed done. He leaned over the bed twice, but each time he straightened up, Nicholaa was still in his arms. Royce couldn't seem to let go of her.
Hugh took mercy on his friend. He ushered the servants out of the room, save for one, a sweet, plump temptress named Clarise whom he'd been trying to get into his bed for nearly a week now. He motioned for her to stand aside, then ordered Royce to put his wife down. His hand rested on Royce's shoulder. "Take your helmet off and see to your own comforts. Clarise will take care of Nicholaa."
Royce did put Nicholaa down and take his helmet off, but he refused to leave the room. He tossed the headgear into a corner, then clasped his hands behind his back and stood guard beside the bed. He saw Nicholaa jump when the helmet hit the floor. Could she hear them? he wondered. Perhaps she was finally coming out of her swoon. God, he hoped so.
Nicholaa knew exactly what was going on. She'd alternated between true sleep and pretending to be asleep all the way home. The pain in her shoulder had eased considerably, and she was feeling much better now. The problem was that she'd have to explain her actions to her husband once he knew she'd recovered, and she still didn't know what she was going to tell him.
She needed time to worry through this problem. She was still a bit stunned that Thurston was alive—thankful too, of course. As his only sister, she felt it was her duty to protect him. But she was also Royce's wife now. She had to give her loyalty to him and try to protect him as well. God, it was confusing.
Nicholaa started shivering. She was frightened for Thurston and for Royce. She knew her brother's stubborn nature. He wouldn't give up until he'd regained his holding, but Royce wouldn't let Thurston have Rosewood without a fight, either. One or both could die before the matter was settled.
She didn't want to lose either of them. What was she going to do? Should she trust Royce with the truth? Or would that be disloyal to Thurston?
Tears filled her eyes. She needed time to sort it all out before doing anything.
"She's in pain," Royce muttered, drawing her attention. "I want it stopped. Now."
Nicholaa didn't open her eyes. She wished Royce would take her into his arms and offer her the comfort she so desperately needed right now. She wanted him to tell her everything would be all right.
God help her, she actually wanted him to love her, if only just a little.
"We could send someone to the abbey for a healer," Hugh suggested.
Clarise had just finished sorting through the trunk, looking for Nicholaa's sleeping gowns. She carried a white cotton garment over to the bed. When Nicholaa moaned, Clarise burst into tears. She dropped the gown and began to twist the hem of her bliaut into a knot. "Lady Nicholaa cannot die," she cried out. "We would be lost without her."
"Stop that sinful talk," Hugh commanded. "She isn't going to die. She just lost a bit of blood, that's all."
Clarise nodded, then picked up her mistress's gown.
Hugh stood by Royce's side, staring down at Nicholaa. He rubbed his beard as he asked. "Was it an arrow that—"
"She threw herself in front of me to save me from taking that arrow," Royce interrupted.
"Royce she's going to be all right," Hugh said again. "Are you in the mood to tell me why she's here? I thought she was going to be given to some worthy knight as wife. Did the king change his mind?"
Royce shook his head. "She's my wife."
Hugh raised an eyebrow and smiled. "So you challenged for her after all. I guessed you would."
"I didn't challenge for her," Royce countered. He found his first smile when he explained. "You might say Nicholaa challenged for me."
Hugh let out a snort of laughter. "There's more to this tale than you're telling me. I'll demand the rest at supper. Now turn your mind back to this sorry matter, and explain to me why your wife would throw herself in front of you. You were wearing armor, weren't you?"
"Of course."
"Then why—"
"I'll have my answers when Nicholaa wakes up."
Nicholaa had heard every word of the exchange. She grimaced over the harshness in her husband's voice. She decided then and there she just might have to pretend to be asleep for another week or two, or until she could decide what to do about Thurston. She wouldn't lie to Royce, though. Her word was as important to her as her loyalty. She'd given her husband her promise, and she wouldn't break it.
"I pray to God Lady Nicholaa knows where she is when she wakes up."
Clarise's remark gained both warriors' attention.
"What are you rambling on about?" Hugh asked. "Of course she'll remember where she is."
Clarise shook her head. "There's those who don't remember a thing after they've been hit on the head or lost their blood. Some get confused. Others get forgetful. It's the truth I'm giving you," she added on a sob. "My lady might not even recognize me."
"I've never heard of such an affliction," Hugh scoffed.
Royce hadn't taken his gaze away from his wife during the conversation, so he alone noticed that the grimace eased from her expression and she suddenly looked quite peaceful.
Was she listening to their conversation? "Nicholaa, open your eyes," he commanded.
She didn't obey him. She groaned instead. It was a dramatic sound, not the least bit convincing. What was her game?
He couldn't contain his sudden smile. She was going to be all right. Relief swelled through him. "You will answer my questions when you wake up, Nicholaa."
She didn't respond. "She's still in a swoon, milord," Clarise whispered. "She's all tuckered out." Royce let out a long sigh. And then he waited. Several minutes passed. Clarise left to collect supplies to change Nicholaa's bandage. Hugh saw to starting a fire in the hearth. Royce didn't move from his position by the side of the bed.
She finally opened her eyes. Her gaze slowly turned to look up at Royce. Her eyes were clear, not cloudy. Her frown, he decided, was forced. He guessed her plan before she put it into action. "Where am I?" Nicholaa looked around the chamber before giving Royce her attention again.
He sat down on the side of the bed. "You're in your chamber," he answered. "You've been asleep a long while."
"I have?"
He nodded.
"Who are you?"
He hid his exasperation. He'd been right: Nicholaa had heard Clarise's remarks. He braced his hands on either side of her head and slowly leaned down. "I'm your husband, Nicholaa," he whispered, "the man you love above all others."
That announcement caused just the reaction he wanted. She looked astonished. He wanted more. "You don't remember?" he whispered.
She shrugged. He smiled. "I'm the man you begged on bended knee to marry you. Surely you remember how you pleaded—"
"I didn't beg you to marry me, you insolent—"
He silenced her with a long kiss. When he pulled back, she frowned up at him. He couldn't have been more pleased. In his mind, his wife was already on the road to recovery.
"You're going to have to explain your actions to me, Nicholaa."
She stared up at him a long while. "I know," she finally said on a long sigh. "I would ask that you wait until I'm feeling better, Royce. All right?"
He nodded. "You're also going to give me your word that you will never, ever take such a foolish risk again. You are completely without self-discipline, Nicholaa."
She was highly insulted. Royce stood up and walked toward the door. "I'll wait until tomorrow to hear both your confession and your apology, wife. You have my permission to rest now."
She bolted up in the bed. The action jarred her shoulder into stinging. "I was trying to save your hide, you ungrateful man."
Royce didn't pause in his stride. "Aye, you were," he acknowledged. "But there was more to your actions than you're telling, wasn't there?"
She didn't answer him. The spurt of anger had worn her out. She collapsed against the bed again. She was muttering her opinions of her husband when she noticed Baron Hugh standing by the hearth. Nicholaa was horrified the older knight had seen her act so undignified. "I don't usually raise my voice to anyone," she announced. "But that man does bring out my temper, Baron."
Hugh smiled. "Do you usually call your husband a son of a boar?"
So he'd heard her muttering. Nicholaa let out a sigh. "Only when I believe no one can overhear me," she confessed.
He walked over to stand next to the bed. "Are you rested enough to tell me what happened to you, Nicholaa? I'm intrigued by the bandages on your hands."
She frowned. "It has been a most difficult week, Baron."
"So it would seem."
"I was perfectly sound until I met Royce."
"Then you believe these injuries are all his fault?"
"Not directly," she hedged.
From the expectant look on his face, Nicholaa knew he wanted the details, but she wasn't up to giving them to him. Let Royce explain. "It's a long story, sir," she whispered. "A pitiful one, too. Suffice it to say that that man is responsible."
"That man?"
"Royce."
She closed her eyes and let out another sigh. Hugh assumed she wanted to rest. He turned to leave.
"I don't know why I bothered to save his life," she muttered. "Did he express his gratitude?"
Hugh paused in his stride. He was about to respond to her question when she answered it. "No, Baron, he did not. He wasn't pleased with my courageous act, either. Nay, he was furious with me. He's insufferable. You may tell him I said that, too, my lord."
She closed her eyes again. Hugh tried to leave the chamber a second time. He was waylaid in the doorway by a request to give Royce a few more of her opinions.
Fifteen minutes later Hugh was finally able to leave the chamber.
Royce met him at the bottom of the steps. "I was just about to send someone to get you," he announced. "Nicholaa needs her rest, Hugh."
There was such disapproval in Royce's voice that Hugh laughed. "I didn't wear her out, if that's your concern," he said. "God's truth, she wore me out giving me all her opinions of you. Would you like to hear a few of them?"
Royce let his friend see his exasperation. "I'm not interested in insignificant things. Nicholaa's safe now. When she recovers, I'll explain her duties to her."
He went to the door and started outside, but Hugh stopped him. "It's all so simple to you, isn't it, Royce?"
"Of course," Royce called over his shoulder. He took exception to the amusement he heard in his friend's voice. "I may be newly married, Hugh, but I understand that there is only one way this partnership can work to everyone's satisfaction. I will give the orders, and she will obey them. I'll be patient, of course. She deserves that consideration. Marriage is new to her, too," he added. "Once she catches on, life will go along peacefully. She only has to obey me, Hugh. It won't be difficult."
"Does Nicholaa understand this dictate?" Hugh asked.
"In time she will," Royce vowed. His voice was as hard as stone when he added, "I will have a peaceful home."
The door slammed shut on that promise.
Hugh turned to look up the stairs. He laughed again. Aye, he thought to himself, Royce would have peace. But Nicholaa would have his heart first.
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Chapter Ten
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She decided to be nice. After all, she'd tried everything else. Nagging hadn't worked. Neither had shouting. Nicholaa was getting desperate. She reasoned that if she turned pleasant, Royce might retaliate in kind. Perhaps then he would listen to her orders.