Read The Princess and the Cop Online

Authors: R L Humphries

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The Princess and the Cop (20 page)

The accounts were administered by the six counsellors, with no auditors, what fun they must have had, and the banks refused to co-operate without the consent of the counsellors.
So we laid it on. Tessa dressed nearly to the tiara and diamonds stage and we invaded the banks. She was magnificently imperious and ordered the banks to divulge the information we wanted.
David was absent and Tessa said he was a golf fanatic and had a tournament nearby. He’d told her that whatever we decided was alright by him. But I felt that he should have been with us. Strength in unity!
The banks were stubborn, so Gerhardt rushed off to his judge, got injunctions, for Austria and Switzerland, and the bank authorities crumbled and acknowledged Tessadonna’s control. They didn’t know the half of it.
Tessa cancelled all authorities for the counsellors to operate on the accounts, and that took some doing, going back centuries to dusty, crumbly documents. Then our forensic accountant employed as many other accountants as he wished and they began to put the cleaners, so to speak, through the murky operations that marked the Royal family’s wealth. And how revealing it was? It seemed that, as far as these funds were concerned, a sort of droit de seigneur prevailed. Help yourself!
Injunctions were sought and fought, but we had the whip hand. After all it was Royal money and the courts so ruled. The counsellors were nearing panic, blaming me, according to Gerhardt. He obtained a small gun for me and I wore it concealed, without Tessa’s knowledge.
And it was all boggling. They’d wiggled billions over the many years and there were still billions left. We were told that, if the Princess chose to withdraw the money, or even spend it over a period, she could change the shape of economies and drive certain banks into collapse. And that applied to the previously aloof David too. When he became aware of it all, he was with us, boots and all.
‘I wouldn’t mind doing that,’ said my for once grim-faced wife, talking of her sudden financial power, ‘to punish them for what they’ve done to us. But I won’t. I’ll take your advice, darling. You were right and I’m so glad I listened to you eventually. You, Sir Knight, are brilliant. Now where’s that baby?’
****
The inevitable meeting with the counsellors had to be held in one of the Palace reception rooms. The six counsellors were but a tiny portion of the gathering. Lawyers, ours and theirs, crowded the big room and the Vienna Police, who’d taken a big interest in our investigations from the start, were interested observers. Like me, if there were a crime anywhere around, they were bound to take an interest and to act, if necessary.
And I was stimulated.
The meeting was under the control of Dr. Elmaden, Gerhardt’s judge and now a professor; and he ruled sternly.
The defence was that there were no rules about the counsellors’ various duties, including their administration of the von Pramberg riches, so how could they have maladministered them? They never went near the word ‘stealing’ in all their verbose arguments. The judge soon cut them off. But they were right. No rules, so how could they break them?
Then I was asked to speak. Some of the proceedings had been in English but it was obvious that German should prevail. Tessa was close beside me and whispered translations when German was used.
Now I stood and said, ‘I appreciate that these proceedings are mostly in English for my benefit and I thank you. Ich bin langsam lernen thre Spracht.’ (I am slowly learning your language), and there was laughter and then applause. Tessa looked up at me with love and some surprise. She now translated, from any German spoken, standing beside me, holding my hand. We did a lot of that. Holding hands.
I said, ‘I think we should keep this simple. The counsellors, by custom and some sort of consent, administered the von Pramberg funds because, frankly, the von Prambergs were glad to have them remove that worry. Ok, so far. But that did not give them the right to use those funds for their own benefit. If you do that, then that’s stealing, under any law in any civilised country. There is no record which the counsellors can produce that gives them that authority. The von Prambergs did not forbid that use because it would be assumed that the counsellors, being occupants of their important positions, would be honest men, beyond reproach. That’s why they’re there. If one is in a position of high trust it follows that one can be trusted.’
I looked at Tessa. ‘I’m truly sorry that I stirred up this hornet’s nest and I do have a feeling that things should have been left alone. But I’m a Policeman and my colleagues over there would agree that a Policeman cannot ignore a possible crime. He is bound to investigate. And now I think the big ball has started rolling and might be impossible to stop. But I’m going to try to stop it. Excellency, the victims in this crime are Her Royal Highness and her brother….’
…and you, Knight Barton,’ said Tessa.
‘Before we proceed to tomorrow’s hearing, I’d like to talk to the Princess to discuss probable outcomes and consequences. May I have that indulgence, please?’
The Judge hit the table with his gavel with great force, being very decisive, methinks.
‘Yes, Knight Barton, you may!’
****
‘Do you want them to return as much of the money as they can, and resign, or do you want them to go to prison, darling?’
We were in our study, seated on a lounge, very close, holding hands, and looking into each other’s eyes. We’d had a quiet dinner and then adjourned for a quiet talk. This wonderful, gentle, sweet, beautiful woman was in turmoil, and I feared that she blamed me. And well she might. I’d been a Policeman for so long that I pursued things out of instinct, when I really didn’t have to. There were other ways, if I’d taken the time to look for them. I had to try to rescue things somehow. David was now disinterested again. Or afraid of what was developing.
‘Tessa, I’m sorry I started all this, as I said. Please don’t be disappointed in me?’
Her look of love would have filled the cathedral with glowing beauty.
‘I made the decision, Barton, and I charged ahead, even ahead of you at times. David handed over to us and it’s your money too. I nearly forgot that, and I’m sorry. That was an insult. I could never be angry with you. Never, darling. Now, Inspector, what’s the plan tomorrow?’
‘Ask them whether they’re willing to make some restitution and how much. If they resist, protesting their rights or their innocence, let the Police take over. If they show some willingness then we negotiate, with the Judge supervising. They all must resign but let’s think about that. Have you been satisfied with their counselling? Are they wise men? If they go, what do you do for advice? Who administers all the royal accounts? You have bills to be paid, I suppose?’
‘I have you with me, oh wise one! And I have Gerhardt. And hasn’t he matured since marrying Sophie? But if they all are conciliatory or even crawl a little, I think I’d keep them on. Alright?’
‘A very wise decision, Tessadonna. How much is involved? Do we know that yet?’
‘The accountants count it in the trillions. There are huge investments. We own lots of Microsoft and Strawberry….’
‘That’s Apple, darling.’
‘Whatever, and lots of shares in big companies throughout the world. It’s obscene. I know that. When all this is sorted I want to start giving it the poor, or charities that help the poor.’
I said, ‘You’ll be a charitable foundation, darling. That’s great! Tell me, are there any poor people in Bassenburg?’
‘None, or there shouldn’t be. One thing my forebears did do correctly was to set up a fund to help anyone in trouble. Perhaps the only thing, darling. And please remember that you, my sweet, are part of all of this. Some is yours or as much as you want. So bang go your egalitarian principles! Dennis is doing it tough, isn’t he? How about a million dollars to him, by bank transfer, tonight? We’ll be like that Smith Family, in Australia. Perhaps we could have them to dinner and they could give us some advice?’
‘The Smith Family isn’t a family, darling. It’s a foundation. It doesn’t exist as an actual family.’
‘Well, the Corrigan family does. Now where’s that bloody baby? Come, darling, one more try and then we give up.’ With a brilliant smile and a strong hug.
Later, I reduced her enthusiastic grant to Dennis to a hundred thousand. He wouldn’t have known what to do with a million.
****
At the meeting the next day, the Princess was at her regal best and soon had the counsellors grovelling. They offered restitution but she told them to give what money they were offering to an Austrian charity, and she demanded their undertaking to do that, which they hastily gave. They admitted their guilt and offered their resignations but she told them that she still wanted their advice and they owed this forbearance that she was showing, solely to me, the man they’d disapproved of ever since I’d arrived. That declaration drew absolutely no response.
The Judge approved but the Austrian Police had to be consulted.
They objected, but I came in and pointed out, most courteously, that the von Prambergs were the victims and the complainants here and that the Princess Tessadonna von Pramberg had extracted all the justice she required. And as a shareholder, so to speak, I was happy to accept her decision.
‘We want no punishment, just fair dealing!’ I said. And my wife looked at me as if I’d just proposed.
The Austrian Police chief bowed deeply to my wife, the Judge banged his gavel far harder than necessary, Tessa took me to the bedchamber far quicker than was necessary and we made love for just about the right amount of time, baby in mind. She was very grateful.
‘What a team, my darling?’ she said. ‘The Princess and the Cop!’
22.
With all of that stuff out of the way I turned my attention to the Palace, which was very old, and slowly falling down. I commissioned a building company from Austria to begin repairing, with me keeping a close eye on things. I thought that Tessa was showing no interest but she assured me that she was. It was just that these sorts of things were beyond her, and she trusted me. It was a busy job.
When Gerhardt and Sophie were married, the wedding banquet was on the usual two levels that I’d endured at the coronation. During the wedding feast, I watched from our elevated station and became more and more unhappy. Everyone was having a great time and suddenly, I have no true understanding why, I leaned over, kissed Tessa on the cheek, and walked down to the lower level. I took the hand of a young lady and danced with her and then escorted her back to her seat. I sat with her and we talked. She was lovely. Then I danced with another young lady. I didn’t look at Tessa or anyone up there with the gods. I did that a bit and then returned to the upper level.
When I sat beside Tessa she said, ‘I’m not sure what the point was, darling, but you’ll tell me.’
‘Time for change, Tessadonna. I’ll tell you later. It’s called democracy!’
So when I came to repair and remodel the Palace, I turned to the banquet hall.
I thought it would cause a big disagreement. I proposed remodelling the banquet room to become one big room, with the two levels being turned into one. No more ‘Them and Us’ as I’d suffered. I talked to her about it and, at first, she was unhappy. It was a tradition, ever since the Palace had been built. And here I was, again, destroying another tradition, literally. I told her, frankly, how it felt to be down on the lower level, although I’d never be there again. I laid it on.
‘Can you not tolerate being on the same level as the second-class people who are consigned to the lower level, darling? I’ve been there and I don’t think I’ve been polluted in any way. Neither has Sophie.’ As I talked she stared at me with wide eyes, and then embraced me.
‘And this is where I need you, Barton. You’ve made it so clear to me. I never gave it a thought before. It’s always been that way, in my life. I watched you at Sophie’s wedding and thought that, if I’d been you, at the coronation, I think I’d have gone home. Every Royal palace should have an Aussie to fix up things.’
‘Sophie made the coronation tolerable, darling. And go home? And miss the show? No way!’
I thought it significant that, the two levels having been turned into one, Tessa established quite a large social program, using the ballroom. We had black-tie balls, community dances, flower shows, fashion shows and even pet shows, although we had only one of those. Too much clean-up. We had banquets for our joint birthdays and Easter and Christmas. Sophie and Tessa became skilled in the art of selecting people to attend and it all worked out ok.
****
Tess and I worked in our office each day in companionable silence and at 4 pm had an unbreakable date to go horse-riding, pausing on the way back at the Inn in the village for a pre-dinner drink and a talk with the locals. As word of this got around more and more locals began to turn up and, what should have been a pleasant interlude, turned into a major complaints session.
I enjoyed the friendly disagreements but I watched my wife closely and it was beginning to tell on her. But she wouldn’t give up the occasion. ‘As long as you’re beside me, darling.’
I began to take more notice of her at her desk. I could stop my desk-work whenever I wanted, really, but Tess seemed to have a mountain of work. She sometimes turned down the ride and, even more serious, sometimes said she was too tired for sex. And she so desperately wanted that child!

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