The Price of Trust (9 page)

"Please say you'll go tomorrow. Please, Carly. Joe's been so miserable and hard to live with," she begged.

"If I say I'll go, are you going to yell at me like that again?" she joked.

Kelly smiled. "No, I won't freak out on you again." They laughed and hugged again. All was well.

"Are you sure he wants me around? I'm not going to be unwelcome, am I?"

"Of course he wants you around! He's been unbearable! You'll definitely be welcome. I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow, okay? And be sure to bring a jacket."

"All right, sounds good to me. I'll see you then." Carly walked back to the shop, shivering in the brisk wind. She was excited and scared at the same time. She could hardly wait for today to be over so tomorrow could begin.

Lord, please forgive me. I haven't asked you lately what your will is for me, and I've made a mess of things again. Please let me know what to do, and help me not to operate on my emotions. Help me to seek your will in all things, and do it. No matter what.
She smiled as the peace that passes all understanding enveloped her.

Just before closing, the short, ugly man came in. Carly was still at peace and felt that nothing this man could do would bother her.

"The nails are in aisle three," she said automatically.

He scowled. "What if I wanted something else?"

"Do you need anything else?" Carly retorted, looking up from the receipts she was tallying.

He leered at her. "Yeah. I need a hammer now."

"You'll find those in aisle three as well. Right next to the nails." She stared steadily back at him.

He dropped his gaze first and went to find the hammer. He came back promptly with a small hammer and set it on the counter.

"Is that all for you?" Carly asked sarcastically. "Seven fifty-eight please." He paid her, walked to the door, and turned around to glare at her one last time before leaving.

"Good-bye," she called sweetly, waving.

The next morning, Carly was up and ready way before Kelly came to get her. She had been unable to sleep very well the night before. She was apprehensive about the day. How would Joe treat her? Would his parents act differently toward her?

Finally, she spied Kelly's uncle's truck in the street below. Grabbing her denim jacket, she ran out to meet her. "Good morning," she said as she climbed into the passenger seat.

Kelly backed out and started toward the Bairds' farm. "Good morning! Did you sleep well?"

"I slept like garbage. I just couldn't seem to concentrate on sleeping because I was worrying about what to expect today."

"Everything will be fine. Did you eat breakfast?"

"I had some applesauce." Carly was self-conscious. Since she'd left Ian, she'd had to eat very differently. She couldn't afford the expensive foods that she had become accustomed to, and she didn't want to spend any more money than she had to.

Kelly looked over at her in surprise. "Is that going to be enough? We're going to be out all day."

Carly smiled amiably. "I'll be fine. That's all I usually eat for breakfast. So how did you sleep?" she asked, changing the subject.

"I slept wonderful. I love it when Todd asks me to help with the horses. We ride all day, have a picnic by the pond, skip stones, and just talk. Joe usually comes with us, but he's a little quiet and stays to himself quite a bit."

"How come Joe goes?" Carly asked, surprised that Todd would allow a chaperone if he could get away without one.

"I ask him to go. If I'm out alone with Todd, that's just a reason for people to talk, so I always ask Joe to go with us. Todd doesn't mind either. They talk rough to each other sometimes, but they're best friends."

They talked agreeably for the rest of the ride. As they got closer, Carly became more quiet and reserved.

There were lights on in the kitchen when they pulled into the driveway.

"Kelly, why did I let you talk me into this?" Carly whispered, so nervous she could hardly breathe.

"You'll be okay. You're with people who care about you and like you. You're going to have a good day, I promise." She got out of the truck and started walking to the porch before she realized Carly hadn't gotten out yet. She waited for her. Carly opened the door reluctantly and stepped out.

Todd swung the door open, smiling broadly before they had the chance to knock. "Good morning," he called as he gave Kelly a hug. "Carly! I'm glad you could make it. It's been a long time since we've seen you. Come on in."

She muttered a quiet "good morning" and "thanks" as she followed them into the kitchen. She smiled shyly at Joe, who was seated at the breakfast table. He beamed.

"Good morning, girls," called Penny as she prepared dough for biscuits. "How are you this morning?"

"Great!" was Kelly's exuberant reply.

"Here, Carly, have a seat. Sorry we're not ready to go. We got up late, and we haven't had breakfast yet. Would you two like some?" Joe said kindly as he pulled out a chair for her.

"Oh yes please," Kelly cried out. "Carly only had some applesauce this morning. She might get hungry." Carly blushed with embarrassment.

"Only some applesauce?" asked Penny in surprise. "That's why you're so thin, you poor thing. You're staying for breakfast, and that's not a question. That's a command." She laughed, waving a doughy hand at her.

"Thank you, but I'd feel better about it if I could help you with something," Carly said, putting her jacket on the back of a chair.

"Me too," chimed in Kelly.

"I don't think you should let Carly help, Mom. I remember the last time she was here she said she could only make macaroni and cheese, and that doesn't sound so good for breakfast," Joe teased.

"I said that's about the only thing I've been able to make," she retorted.

"Is there a difference?"

"Yes!" she said playfully. "What can I do to help?" she asked as she washed her hands.

"You're a dear. You can fry the bacon and sausage, and Kelly you can fry the eggs while I finish up with these biscuits, if you don't mind. The pans are already out," Penny directed them.

Joe came over to stand at the counter next to Carly and started cutting potatoes into an electric skillet and she couldn't resist a sideways glance at him. He grinned at her, his eyes twinkling. She turned quickly and started the bacon. She'd always been a sucker for the tall, dark, and handsome sort, and he was definitely all of those.

He finished with the potatoes and started on the onions. They started to cook, and she remembered how much she loved the smell of fried potatoes and onions. After her mom had died, that's what they had for dinner every night, until she learned how to cook other things. He reached over and flipped an onion into her pan and bumped her arm, making her drop her spatula.

"What?" she asked, smiling. She scooped the onion out, tossing it back into the skillet.

He was grinning mischievously. "Nothing."

"Are you purposely trying to aggravate me?" she asked, waving her spatula at him menacingly. "'Cause if you are, I'm going to swat you!"

He laughed and went back to his potatoes and onions. They worked in companionable silence, listening to the conversation around them.

He leaned over toward her and whispered, "I'm glad you came today." It wasn't much, but it made her stomach flip-flop and her face turn red.

Breakfast was ready just as Tom came in.

"Smells good," he bellowed, smacking his lips and holding his stomach. "I'm famished! Good morning, Kelly, Carly. How are you girls doing this fine day?" He grabbed hold of Penny and started dancing around the kitchen.

"Good morning," they said in unison, laughing.

They all sat down amiably in the same spots as before, but this time Carly sat down next to Joe. Todd winked at Joe, and Carly made a face back at him. It was a cheerful breakfast with much talk, laughter, and eating, but it was over so soon. The girls helped Penny clean up while Joe and Todd went to saddle the horses.

"Carly, how have you been? I haven't seen you at church for a while," Penny asked, running the dishwater.

"I've been sitting in the back, but I've been pretty good," she replied. She wasn't too sure of her position with Penny. She was very kind when she spoke to her, but Carly felt that she was reserved and unsure of what to say. "Just keeping to myself pretty much." Carly rinsed the dishes as Kelly dried and stacked them on the counter.

"I've noticed," she said quietly. "I wondered where you were when I saw Angie sitting beside Joe. Have you met Angie?"

"Yes, I have," she answered evenly.

Penny was silent for a moment. "She seems nice, but I think she's jealous of you, you know," she said with a smile. "Do you have any other relatives living?" she asked, changing the subject.

"I don't think so. My mom's parents had already passed away before I was born, and my dad's parents never forgave him for marrying my mom. I guess they had words and split company. The only family I had was my parents. They were everything to me."

"What about your spiritual birth, honey? When were you introduced to Jesus?" Penny couldn't help but feel for this young woman who had lost so much. She had always been a family-oriented person and couldn't imagine what it would have been like to live without them.

"Both my parents were Christians before they met, and we went to church every Sunday and Wednesday. I asked Jesus to be my Savior when I was six, but the reality of heaven didn't hit me until I watched my mom die. I never had a doubt that I wanted to go there and see her again. Now that Dad's gone, it just makes heaven sweeter." Carly's voice broke slightly as she talked, but she held her head up and didn't cry.

"I think that if I lost everyone I loved, I'd go nuts," Kelly said softly.

"Dad used to say, 'If it don't kill ya, it'll just make ya stronger.' And I wasn't really alone. I've had Jesus with me through everything, and he's the greatest friend ever." Carly stopped, catching a movement out of the corner of her eye. Joe and Todd were standing in the doorway, listening. Joe cleared his throat.

"Are you ready? We've got everything ready to go except the food.”

"Oh!" Penny exclaimed. "I almost forgot. Here you are." She had packed a leather backpack full of delicious-looking food. "You have fun and be careful," she called after them as they walked out to the barn. Tom came and put his arm around her shoulder.

"You know what? They're grown up, girl. What do you think of that?" He gave Penny a bear hug.

"I know. It sure didn't take long, did it?" There were tears in her eyes.

"Carly, have you ever ridden a horse before?" Joe asked as they walked to the waiting horses.

"Is it legal to live in Texas and not ride a horse?" she teased.

"Good. I want you to ride Ashes because I know she'll behave. Up you go." He helped her into the saddle. He adjusted the stirrups then mounted his own horse. They were all ready.

They rode off down the dirt road single file, then out into an open field. Todd and Kelly raced, galloping across the field, while Joe and Carly followed, cantering at an easy pace.

"We're taking you two up to Wilson's Pond, and then after we eat, we'll follow the creek back down to the farm. It'll take us all day." Joe turned from surveying the land to survey Carly. "How you holding up over there? Are you comfortable? She handling well?"

Carly looked over at him and flashed him one of her best smiles. "I'm doing great. She's a magnificent horse, and she rides so well. Thank you for letting me borrow her for the day." She nodded to the Palomino Joe was riding. "How's your horse doing?"

"Chessy? Oh we're doing fine. This is dad's horse. Kelly is riding Mom's, and Todd is riding his own, of course. He likes them a little more on the wild side. He likes to let them have their head and run. I'd rather take it easy and look at the scenery." He looked at Carly with a twinkle in his eye.

She pretended not to understand his meaning. "Yes, the mountains sure look beautiful, don't they?"

"They're all right I suppose. I've lived here all my life, so I'm used to them."

It was a beautiful fall day to be riding. Not too warm, not too cold, just right. The leaves crunched under the horses feet, the air was fresh and pure, the company wonderful. They came to a trail in a patch of woods. Todd led the way, Kelly was next, Carly, then Joe brought up the rear. Pine trees, maple trees, elms, and oaks lined their path. Carly breathed deeply. She hadn't felt this peaceful since before her dad died.

The trees suddenly cleared away to reveal a beautiful lake.

Wilson's Pond.

She hadn't expected it to be this big, she had thought it would be more like a small fishing hole, but this would be more accurately called a lake. She caught her breath at the sight. She'd had no idea that Wilson's Pond would be so beautiful. Snowcapped mountains were off in the distance, pine trees ringed the pond on three sides, and she thought the very air seemed magical and sweet.

"It's beautiful," she breathed, glancing at Joe with amazement as she dismounted.

He grinned and took the lunch pack off Chessy, and Todd spread a blanket on the ground next to a large boulder sitting beside the pond. Carly and Kelly emptied the lunch pack and set the food out. Cold chicken, carrot and celery sticks, ranch dip, potato chips, and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies for dessert. They all sat down, prayed, and ate until they could barely budge.

After lunch, Kelly caught Carly's eye and motioned toward Joe.  Carly looked away, pretending not to notice, but Kelly didn't give up. She caught her eye again and motioned toward Joe more aggressively. Carly pursed her lips together and shook her head firmly.

"What in the world are you two up to?" Todd asked, looking from one to the other. "Are you trying to swat something away?"

"No," Kelly answered sweetly. She gave Carly another look, and she frowned her displeasure.

Joe had caught the looks as well. Whatever it was that Kelly wanted her to talk about, she wasn't going to do it without help.

"So, Carly, why have you been avoiding me lately?" He leaned lazily on the boulder behind him, his arms crossed across his broad chest.

"Avoiding you?" She repeated lamely. "Who says I was avoiding you?"

"I say you were," Joe said evenly, not letting her off the hook.

"So do I," Todd agreed. "And so does Kelly, but she won't say so."

Kelly punched his arm. "Come on and tell us. Joe's been miserable these past couple of days, and I don't think I can handle any more of it." Todd rolled his eyes.

Joe threw a handful of grass at him. "I admit, I've been a little short lately, but I wouldn't go so far as to say that I was miserable."

"Of course you wouldn't say it, but I'll admit it for you. You were terrible to live with."

Carly looked over at Joe, and he grinned sheepishly. "I plead the fifth," he retorted.

"Oh no. Not that again. If you plead the fifth, then I'll plead the fifth, then Kelly will freak out on me again." Carly laughed. "And that was really scary."

Todd leaned over to stare into Kelly’s red face. "You freaked out on Carly? Wow, I've never seen you freak out. Why do I miss all the good stuff?"

Kelly gave him a playful slap on his leg. "Yes, I freaked out on her. But it worked, because she's here, and she wasn't going to come. Right Carly?"

She batted her eyes innocently. "Can I plead the fifth?"

"No!" they all said firmly.

"Now, honestly. Why have you been avoiding me? Actually, it’s not just me, it’s been all of us, and we'd really like to know why." Joe spoke for all of them.

"Well, to be honest, I was really trying to avoid just you. Todd and Kelly just always happened to be with you, so I had to avoid them as well," she admitted. "Why isn't so easy to tell. It's a long story, and I wouldn't know where to start." She shrugged her shoulders, looking away at the mountains.

"Start when you moved to Houston," Kelly prompted her.

Carly moaned. "You know too much already. It's not very interesting, and you're going to be bored," she answered, trying to get out of it.

"That's okay. We're country folk. We love stories. Even the boring ones," Joe stretched his legs out in front of him and leaned back on his elbows.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." She sighed expressively. "You all know that my mom died when I was eight, and when I was twelve, my dad and I moved to Houston, Texas, where he got a job transfer. We were pretty happy there, but then he got sick with cancer when I was nineteen. We had a fine church that we belonged to, and a rich businessman went there as well."

"A single, rich business man?" Joe questioned suspiciously.

"Yes. A single, rich business man," Carly replied, blushing. "Anyway, he offered me a good job in his company as his secretary. I accepted, hoping to be able to help Dad pay some of his medical bills. He paid really well even though I didn't know as much about the job as I should have. I thought he was just trying to help us out, but Dad didn't see things that way. Dad didn't like him from the beginning.

"Ian was the only thing we disagreed about, really. He kept telling me that he didn't trust him and I should find a new job. I always argued that Ian was a Christian and just wanted to help. The pay was exceptionally good, he said all the right things, did all the right things, and I fell for him hook, line, and sinker." Joe grunted quietly. Carly looked at him and smiled. "He was rich, handsome, and I was only nineteen." He scowled and looked away. "Joe? Is there something wrong?" she asked a little too innocently.

"You could probably skip this part," he answered sourly.

"No, if you want to hear my story, you've got to listen to the whole thing, and it's mainly about Ian. If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll stop," Carly answered hopefully.

"Keep going, Carly. He'll just have to get over it." Todd said, elbowing Kelly and nodding toward Joe, who was still sulking. "He was engaged once too, you know."

"Really?" Carly asked, surprised. Now it was her turn to be a little jealous. "Joe, do you have a story to tell after I tell mine?" She gave him a playful smile and tossed a weed his way.

"Nope," he answered shortly.

"Anyway," she resumed, smiling wryly. "I worked for Ian for about six months before he asked me to marry him. I thought the world of him, so of course, I accepted. Dad was shocked. He didn't speak to me for a week after I told him the news. It's not that he was mad, it's just that it was the first time I went against something he said, and he had a hard time dealing with it," she said hurriedly, seeing their surprised faces. She didn't want them to think that he was cold hearted or terrible.

"I was the only thing he had left in the world, and he worried about me." Carly paused, remembering. "He got sicker, and the doctors said they couldn't do anything for him, so I took care of him at home. Ian had given me time off work, and I stayed by his side. I was reading to him one day, and he asked me to stop. I did, and we talked about Ian. He told me again that he didn't trust him, but if I thought that was who the Lord wanted for me, then I should marry him, but to be very sure. He told me to remember that marriage was a job, and it wouldn't work if I couldn't take him for better or for worse, till death do us part. I remember watching him labor to talk to me, and I knew it was the end. He told me to give everything to God, including Ian, that he loved me, and that he'd see me in heaven one day. Then he gave me a kiss and died."

Carly paused, wiping tears from her eyes. "The weeks following Dad's death were a whirlwind, and Ian took care of everything. I was a robot. I did everything he said without question. I couldn't even seem to think on my own. So Ian had me moved out of Dad's apartment into an expensive place across town in two weeks." Joe looked at her oddly. "No, Ian didn't live there with me, Joe, if that's what you're thinking. He wanted to, but I wouldn't allow it. It would have gone against everything that I'd been taught. I felt that I would be dishonoring my parent's memory, not to mention displeasing God, so that was one thing I stuck to.

"After Dad died, Ian and I were always together, except when I was at my apartment, and I got to know him a lot better. I still worked as his secretary, but now he wanted me to go with him to corporate parties, meet his friends, go to country clubs he belonged to, and pretty much go everywhere with him. I was his little prize, and he liked to show off. I didn't mind it at first, but then his real nature started showing. If we went to a party together, he'd leave me alone to 'mingle,' and he'd get furious if a guy came up to talk to me.

“That started happening more and more, until I couldn't do anything to please him, although I tried. I wouldn't talk to anyone at a party, and he'd get mad that I was being a snob. If I talked to someone at a party, he'd accuse me of cheating on him. If it was a woman, he'd accuse me of trashing him behind his back." Carly stopped.

"Is that when you decided to leave him?" Kelly asked, frowning.

"No, I would just make up excuses for him. I'd tell myself that I deserved it, that I was being too friendly or whatever, and I'd try even harder to please him."

"Was he like that everywhere?" Todd asked, amazed.

"At first it was just at the parties. Then it started showing up in other areas. He would take me shopping and insist on buying me anything and everything. He would tell me that he wanted me to look perfect and be happy. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I enjoyed it, and that helped me stay with him longer than I should have." She blushed, not wanting Joe to think ill of her.

"I had grown up on the poor side of everything, and Ian was so rich. It was exciting to be able to have everything I wanted. I felt like every day was Christmas. Nothing was too expensive. He bought me a BMW, cell phone, he paid for my apartment, he bought all my clothes and accessories, we went to the most expensive restaurants, everything."

"Well, that doesn't sound too bad. Why didn't you stay with him?" Joe asked a bit too sharply.

"I'm getting there," she answered softly. "I'm not as unworthy as you think. I didn't leave him because one day he wouldn't buy me something I wanted." She looked at him, a mirthless smile on her lips. "He began to get abusive if I didn't do everything he thought I should. If I went shopping without him and I bought something he didn't like, he'd slap me. Just a slap at first. Nothing that would leave bruises so people could see. I told him I wanted to break it off after the first slap, but he was so sorry and kind afterward. He promised that he would never hit me again, and I believed him.

"Gradually it got worse. If I talked to another guy at work, he'd punch me. If I didn't call him right away after I got home, he'd punch me. If I didn't look just right for a party, he'd punch me. Then he'd slap and punch, then he'd add a kick when I fell to the floor. He broke my arm once just because I got a ticket for speeding on the expressway. So I'm not as unworthy as you think, Joe. I didn't use him for what he could do for me or buy me. I thought I really loved him. And what's worse, I thought it was just his way of showing me that he loved me."

They were all quiet for a while, scarcely daring to believe that a man would do such things to a woman that he professed to love.

Or that a woman could excuse those actions as showing love.

"But I thought he was a Christian, Carly. Christians aren't supposed to do those things," Kelly said in disbelief. Todd hugged her closer to him.

"I just know what he told me. Like I said, he always said the right things, and if he wasn't beating me, he did the right things."

"Is that when you left?" Joe asked quietly.

"No. That was only about six months into our engagement. I didn't even start thinking about leaving until he broke my arm. After my arm healed and I went back to work, I started to hear rumors about him and another secretary that worked in another office. I was stupid enough to ask him about her one day, and he went off like a bomb. We were at my apartment, and we had a terrific screaming match. He was angry that I had the nerve to ask him about the other woman, and he started punching me. I was too mad to back down, and I started punching him back, but he just laughed.