The One For Me (15 page)

He shakes his head. “No. I need to calm down first. I want to kill her.”
It’s been five days. I don’t think it’s going to get any easier.

“Does it say why she left?”

He nods. “She has
muscular dystrophy
. She thought it would be easier if I didn’t know her. Easier for her to die.” His voice cracks.
“She has seizures. She just keeps getting worse.” He buries his face in his hands.

I bite my lower lip, stand up and hug him. “I’m so sorry.
God, Liam.
”

He hugs me, burying his face into my neck. “
It just hurts. I could have built a relationship with her. I could have called her, emailed her, talked to her. I could have loved her.” He steps back, wiping his nose. “
I’m going to write her back. Will you help me?”

I
smile. “Of course I will.
”

We sit at his desk for an hour trying to figure out what to say.
What do you say in a situation like this?
We decided to let her know what Liam’s step mom done.
She needs to know that. The rest
was a catch up on Liam’s life. He told her
about everything…not about me being a pretend girlfriend though; we didn’t
want her to think he was a weirdo.

“You sure it looks good?
It doesn’t have any of those grammatical mistakes does it? I don’t want her to know I’m stupid.” Liam says.

“
You’re not stupid, Liam
.
It looks fine. She’ll love it.”

He seals the envelope and tosses it on his desk. “Thank you for helping.
I appreciate it.
”

I shrug. “No problem. Oh, I almost forgot. Hayd
en has a big shiner on his eye. Looks like somebody’s new name should be Rocky.”

Liam smirks. “Well, that’s what he gets for messing with my girl. I should have beaten his ass a little more.”

I try to push away the words ‘my girl.’ It makes me giddy. “He kind of come up to me today wanting to get back together.” I intertwine my fingers and look at the ground.

Liam is deathly quiet. Its torture, I finally look up at him. “What did you tell him?”

“I told him I was with you,” I whisper.
I told him the truth. I am with you.

Liam clears his throat. “Katy---,” Liam says, standing up.
His mouth is opened, hand running through his hair.

Tears build in my eyes. “No, it’s okay. I know we’re just pretending,” I chock out. I turn on my heel. “I think I’m going to go, okay?”
I can’t stand staying her knowing he doesn’t care about me, like I care about him.

I’m to the door when Liam wraps his hand around my waist and pushes me against the door.
He
’s breath is hot on my face. “Katy,” he whispers. I can’t look away from his lips. They’re parted and close to my mouth.

“Hmm,” I say,
finally
looking up at him.

“Tell me you want me to,” he says, leaning close to my mouth. “Te
ll me it’s not pretend, please. Just tell me.”

Oh, God.
“I
--I
want you to,” I say. “I want you to kiss me. I don’t want it to be pretend
.”  It hasn’t been pretend
ing
for a long time, for me.

Liam smiles, leaning down until his lips rest on mine. I melt within myself. Of course I’ve kissed Liam before, but this time is different. I feel it’s real. It is real.
He said it was real, sort of.

I open my mouth, allowing him access, when his tongue brushes my bottom lip. He pushes me harder against the door, one hand on the small of my back the other tangled in my hair. He kisses me and I can’t seem to get enough. I push harder
against him. Liam sighs, reaches
behind me and holsters me up, encircling my legs around his waist. He is walking but I’m too enthralled with his mouth to open my eyes and see.

I feel the bed placed below me and I sink into the soft comforter. Liam rest on top of
me, his hard body Heaven on mine.

“Jesus, Katy,” Liam breaks from my lips and whispers in my hair. “I don’t know how Hayden ever gave thi
s up. What an idiot.”

I close my eyes and sigh.
All I’ve wanted is to feel wanted by him. He is the only thing that matters.
Liam pulls himself off of me, wrapping his arms around my stomach and pulling me toward him.

We lay quietly for a few minutes.
“What does this mean?” I whisper.

“What do you want it to mean?”
He nuzzles into my hair.
God, he smells good.

I shrug and pick at the fuzz on his comforter. “I’m not sure.”

He laughs, and turns me to face him. “I like you,” he says. “A lot.”

“I like you, too.”
So…
?

“Well…” he trails off for a moment, “I think that means we really like e
ach other, we’re not pretending anymore. At least I hope it means that.
”

I hear the Heavenly chorus. “I think that’s what that means, too.”

He smirks. “I always knew you wanted me,” he says.

I roll my eyes. “Liking you less by the second.”

“Sure.” He winks.

Chapter Eight

My head is still spinning when I get to my house. Liam kissed me because he wanted to and not because he was required to. I’m still smiling when I go upstairs to my room. I lay on my bed, looking up at the ceiling.
It’s like a dream. A stress less surreal dream. I’m smiling like an idiot when I hear the floor creak.

“Katy,” I hear, softly. The voice sounds familiar but far away.
Wait, I know that voice.

I sit straight up in my bed. Hayden is standing at the door, hands shoved in his pockets. “How did you get in?”

He smirks. “I know where the spare key is.
I didn’t just forget, ya know.
”
I’m not going to look into what he
exactly
means by that sentence.

I mentally groan.
What the hell is he doing here?
Why is he here to mess up my perfect dream life, I have going.
He looks so innocent, a small smile on his face, his green eyes large. I used to would have died to see him look at me like that just one more time. But now, I can’t make myself want him. It makes me angry.
I want to punch him in the throat.

“You h
ave to leave, Hayden. I’m busy. You shouldn’t be here. You’re making things more complicated than they have to be.”

“Yeah, really looks like it.
Daydreaming and all. Heavy stuff.
”

I roll my eyes.
Smartass.

“Were you with Liam just now? I’ve been waiting for hours.” Hayden walks toward me. “Come on, you can’t tell me that you like him more than you like me. You love me, I love you, that outweighs liking somebody, right?
”
Dumb.
“It should. If you’re smart you’ll realize that.
”

Guess I’m dumb.
I shake my head. “Hayden, listen, I’ve wanted you to come back to me, crawling on your knees-.”

“’I’ll do it
,” he says, squatting down on his knees. “Please, baby.
I’ll crawl, beg, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it.
”

I close my eyes. I slap his hands away when he tries to touch me. “Hayden, you killed me. On the week my dad left, too.
I felt like my entire world was falling into a million pieces. He hasn’t even called me. He is gone, you were gone. It just made it all worse.”

“Your dad…oh God, Katy. I’m so sorry.”
I push him away at first, I don’t want him to touch me. “Katy, shhh,” Hayden says,

I cry. I’m not sure why I can’t make is stop, but the tears jus
t
fall hard. “Everything just went to Hell, Hayden. You just left, like I wasn’t anything. You took all of me and left. My dad took my entire being, my soul, and is moving to Florida with it.”

Hayden frowns, reaches up and pulls me down to him. He wraps me in his arms and rocks me back and forth. I want to pull away, I want to tell him to get out,
to get out of my life,
I want to punch him, but I don’t. I let him hold me. “I’m so sorry, Katy.
I had no idea. I can’t believe he left.
”
Of course he didn’t. I didn’t tell him, because I didn’t want his pity.

I sob harder. Everyone lately has been sorry. I press my head in the crook of Hayden’s neck and smell his cologne. I used to love it, now I wish it was Liam’s ocean scent. I wipe my face and try to control myself. “Hayden, I think I want to be alone.”

He frowns and hugs me tighter. “I will hold you all night if you want me to, I don’t have to leave.
I’m here for you, always.
”

“Yeah, you do,
you need to leave,
” I hear from the door.

I freeze.
Pins and needles shutter down my body.
I glance over Hayden’s shoulder at Liam. His eyes are narrowed, cold and he has my cell phone in his hand. “You left this at my house, when we were making out on my bed.
Or did you forget?
”

My face heats.
Damn it, Liam.
I stand up and wrap my arms around my waist. Liam is glaring at Hayden, it’s ferocious. “Liam, calm down, it’s not--,”

“Get out of my girlfriend’s room, right now.
I want say it again.
”

“D
ude, she doesn’t want me to go,” Hayden says.

“Yeah, I kind of--,”

“Get ou
t, before I beat your ass again,
”
Liam is yelling.
Liam turns to me. “Did you invite him, Katy? Huh, did you?”

“No! He just barged into my room!”
I throw my hands in the air. “I wouldn’t invite him, you know it.”

“How the hell did you get in?”
Liam asks.

“I did date her for a year; I know where the spare key is.” Hayden leans in, cupping a hand over his mouth and whisper
s, “it’s under the potted plant on the back porch.
”
I’m surprised Liam doesn’t knock him out. I’m actually kind of waiting on it.

Liam grits his teeth and takes a step forward. “I’m not going to
say it again, get the hell out of here now.
”

Hayden looks at me, rubbing his hand on my shoulder. “If you need anything, just call, you know my number.”

“She won’t need anything,” Liam says, before I get a chance to answer. “Now, get the fuck out.”

Hayden smiles down at me, then looks at
Liam
and smirks. I feel like throwing up. When Hayden is out of the door, Liam finally looks back up at me. “Liam,” I say. “He just walked in; I didn’t even know he was coming.”

He shakes his head, his face twisting into a painful sneer. “Katy, did he make you hug him? Did he make you cry on his shoulder?
Because it didn’t look to forced to me.
”

“Liam no, I--,”

“Just stop,” Liam interrupts me.
“
I should have known this is what you were doing all along. Still trying to make him jealous. Well,” he throws his hands up in the air, “you have successfully ruined our relationship; the douche bag wants you back now. You can have him.
He is all yours.
”

Tears are rushing down my face. “No, please, stop, don’t go. Liam, please.” I pull at his shirt, but he snatches his arm away from me.

“There is no need in pretending anymore, Katy. It’s over.”
He tosses my cell phone on the bed. I watch his face, hoping there is one ounce of compassion in it. If there is, he’s hidden it well.

Liam
turns and leaves. Walks away from me.