The Nights Were Young (9 page)

              “They’re uh…” Marie said. “Well, they – just look it up on the internet.”

              Marie noticed Brandon watching them walk away towards the halls. He shook his head in disappointment as they left the cafeteria.

              “I’m really sorry for what I said that night,” Travis said. “I don’t know how many times I have to say it but I’m sorry.”

              “I know,” Marie said.

             
Damn it
, she thought.
He still looks good in those jeans
.

              “I mean. I didn’t mean for it to sound like you were just…”

              “Some girl you were hooking up with?” she said.

              “Yeah, that,” he said. “It just came out. I guess I was pretty embarrassed for getting shot down like that.”

              Marie could understand that. His pride was probably not used to the word
no
.

“You were trying to go too far. I’m not – used to that.” She didn’t want to admit she’d never done it before.

              “I know you’re not, and I’m sorry about that, too. I just got caught carried away.”

              “Sure you did. I mean, we’re not even boyfriend and girlfriend. It was a first date, Travis, and you grabbed me like that. I don’t want to be one of those girls that just lets a guy touch her however he wants. Do you get it?”

              He nodded shamefully.

              They stopped walking when they reached the beginning of the classroom halls. Marie was trying not to make eye contact with him. 

              “Can I make it up to you?” he asked.

              “Really, Travis? Again? You want to try and take me out on another date?”

              “No. Not a date, just – maybe I could--”

              She turned away from him. “Look, Travis. We don’t even know each other that well.”

              “That’s the point,” he said. “I made a really bad first impression. Actually, a few bad first impressions. Plus, I just want to make it up to you as a friend, not a date. I think I already blew that shot.”

              She turned back around and bit her lip.

              “I heard you like that coffee shop in town. The Wake Up Shop right?” he asked.

              She was surprised. “How’d you know that?”

              “I talked to Kate.”

              “Wow. She actually spoke to you.”

              “Yeah I had to beg her. And I’ll beg you, too, if I have to.”

              Lunch period was nearing its end, and people were making their way to the hall Travis and Marie were standing in.

              “I don’t know,” Marie said, pulling on her hair.

              “I really will beg,” Travis insisted. “And it’s gonna be pretty embarrassing for you.”

              She laughed. “Whatever.”

              Without warning he dropped to his knees and grabbed her hand. He was grinning. “I’ll do it,” he warned.

              “Travis. Are you insane? Get up.” She tried to pull her hand away, but he held on.

              “Please let me buy you a coffee, Marie… uh, what’s your last name?”

              “I’m not telling you that.”

              “Then you can tell me after school, while we’re getting Frappuccino’s or whatever the hell they’re called.”

              Marie looked around. People were staring and a few girls were giggling.

              “I’m about to yell,” Travis said.

              Marie stared him down, but he stared right back. He beamed and suddenly…

“Marie! Please get coffee with me!” His voice boomed in the hallway.

              She reached down quick and grabbed him by his shirt. “Yes, fine!”

She pulled him up. He was smiling, that dorky, stupid smile she had seen on him the night at the cliffs.

              “Good. You want to ride with me there in my truck, 'cause I can--”

              She put her hand over his mouth.

“I’ll meet you there.”

              **********

              “My mom is always on my case about college applications and stuff like that,” Marie said. She took another drink of coffee.

              Travis nodded his head. It almost made Marie laugh to see him in his wife beater and baggy jeans in contrast to the other guys in the shop, who wore name brands. He had not even ordered anything fancy, just black coffee. He had paid, which Marie appreciated, and he had bothered the cashier when it took him a minute to gather up the crumpled change from his pockets.

              “That’s good, though,” Travis said. “You should be excited about going to college and getting out of this shit town.”

              “I wouldn’t exactly call it a -- shit town,” Marie said.

              “Yeah, maybe not your neighborhood. Crossfalls Estates is a lot different than the neighborhoods on my side of the tracks.”

              “Where’s your side of the tracks?”

              He took another drink and looked down. “Don’t worry about it.”

              “Ugh, you say that too much.” She said, mocking him in a low voice, “Don’t worry about it.”

              “Whatever… I guess I like to keep some things as my business.” He slouched back in his seat and glared around the shop. Anyone who had been looking at him, at how out of place he seemed, looked away when his defensive glance passed over them.

              “Well you know where I live,” Marie said.

              “So…”

              “So it’s not fair.”

              He eyed her. “Alright,” he said. “I’ll tell you where I live if you tell me your last name.”

              “Deal,” she said excitedly. “So where is it?”

              “No, no. The name first.”

              “Fine, fine. Wrangler,” she sighed.

              “Wrangler? Like the jeep?”

              She groaned. “Yes, like the jeep.”

              “Hey that’s awesome. I would love to be named after a car.”

              She shoved his arm. “Shut up. So where do you live?”

“Not so fast,” he said slyly. “I want to know more about Marie Wrangler.”

She groaned, “Like what?”

“Like what you were like before you came here to this shitty town,” he said. “I wanna know what you were like before.”

She sat puzzled. “Why do you care?”

He looked in her eyes and smiled gently. “Because I wanna know more about you. Is that so bad?”

She couldn’t look at him for too long without getting nervous and worked up, losing her ability to speak without stuttering. No one had ever taken such an interest in her.

“I don’t know,” she mumbled. “I guess I’ve always been pretty boring.”

He laughed. “You’re not boring. I think you overthink everything, but I like it. It makes you really… deep. So you’ve always been like that? Deep?”

She laughed and tugged at her hair. “I’m not deep.” She blushed. “I mean yeah I overthink things but – I’m not deep, or whatever.”

“It’s not every girl that would stand by herself at a party and look out over a lake,” he said quietly.

“What?”

“I saw you, at the party on the cliffs. You were just standing by yourself, looking out over the water – right before Brandon came and got you.”

“You, you watched me?” she asked.

“I mean I wasn’t creepy about it,” he said, looking down. He gazed into space like he was reimagining when he’d seen her. “I just noticed you watching the water, and I remember thinking ‘wow, this girl must be…’”

“Must be what?” she asked, avoiding eye contact.

“Deep. That’s the only word I can think of. Sorry, I’m not a ‘word’ guy. I just thought you were deep, so I figured that wherever you’re from, before you came here, you must’ve been interesting then, too.”

Marie laughed softly. “Well I hate to disappoint you,” she said. “But I’m not that fascinating. Where I used to live, I don’t remember one time hanging out with anyone after school. I just went to class and went home. It was all very… quiet.”

“You didn’t have any friends?”

“I knew others at school, and I’d talk to them and eat lunch with them, but – no. I never had any friends, not like who I have here with Kate and,” she looked up into his eyes, and he was staring back, “and…”

“And me?” he asked. His eyes lit up and he smirked; Marie stared at his dimples.

She started blushing, so she turned away. “Okay, enough about me, seriously. What about you?” she asked. “It’s your turn. Where do you live?”

              He took another drink and sighed. Looking at the table, he answered, “River Shores.”

              “I’ve never heard of that. Where is that?”

              “It’s near the outside of town.” He paused. “It’s uh – it’s a trailer park.” He looked up at her and waited for a reaction.

              Marie did not know what to say.

“Well… that’s cool,” she finally said.

She felt in the wrong for pushing him to answer, seeing how embarrassed he seemed about it. He wouldn’t even make eye contact now – just stared down and moved his finger along the edge of his coffee cup.

              “Not really,” he said.

              She sat back and sipped more.

              Where do we go from here
, she thought.

“Are you planning on going to college?” she asked.

              He laughed a little, but it was pained, like she had unburied something else he did not want her to see. “No, no. I’m not. I know a guy who works with a construction company here in town. I do some jobs for the company every now and then that gets me enough cash to get by. I’m gonna start working for him more when I get out of school.”

              Marie nodded. “Sounds good.”

She looked out the window for a moment, then back at him, and she caught him staring at her. For a second, they held the gaze before he turned away and sat up in his seat. His face was different, hurried and thoughtful with less light in his eyes than there had been when he was on his knees for her in the hall.

              “I’m not the kind of guy that girls like you are into am I?” he asked.

              “Girls like me?”

              “Rich girls. Smart girls. You know, girls that are gonna go to college and hook up with frat guys that are gonna get careers and shit.” His tone was defensive, and he continued avoiding eye contact.

              “Travis, why are you getting mad? I didn’t even say anything.”

              “You don’t have to.” He sat back and chugged the rest of his coffee.

They were silent.

              “I thought you were just trying to be my friend anyway,” Marie said.

              “Yeah, well maybe I actually wanted another shot.”

              Marie grunted.
God, he’s difficult
, she thought. “Another date?” she asked him.

              He looked away.

              “Why are you being like this?”

              He remained quiet.

              “Look. Maybe this whole hanging out thing was a bad idea,” she said. She searched for words and took another drink. “I think we’re just different people.”

              He bit his lip. He leaned forward, looking down, and he tapped his foot on the wooden floor.

“Yeah, guess you’re right,” he muttered.

In another moment, he stood and trudged out the door fast. He kept his head down and walked quickly out of sight.

Marie sat still and speechless.

“What the hell just happened?” she whispered.

IX

              James’s party was crowded. Guests meandered through the rooms of his house, talking amongst each other in quiet, monotone voices. For Marie, they moved like cardboard, and their words were simply words – no meaning and no life behind them. Marie felt no life behind her, and her face felt sore from the forced happy expression that was demanded endlessly of her.

              She gazed down into her glass; it was nearly empty. She leaned against the wall in the corner of the living room and watched the waves in the lake of unfamiliar faces. Her mother had wandered somewhere to speak with someone, and her father was quiet in the opposite corner by himself.

              James approached her, a drink in his hand and a smile across his face. “How are you tonight, Marie?” he said loudly.

              She smiled back to him. “I’m okay, honey.”

              The others around them smiled contently. Marie felt them watching her and James, studying them, judging them.

              James leaned in close to her and placed his hand on her forearm.

“What’s wrong with you?” he whispered in her ear. “You’re not talking to anyone.”

              “Nothing, sweetie,” she said with a laugh. “I’m just enjoying myself.”

              He waited, staring her down.

              “Can I talk to you?” she asked.

              He looked at the others and laughed. “What about, sweetheart?”

              “Please,” she whispered. “I just – want to talk.”

              He smiled nervously to the other guests. “Excuse us.”

              James led Marie by the arm into their bedroom and shut the door.

“What is this about, Marie? Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you tonight?”

              Marie quietly drank the remaining liquor in her glass and set it on the nightstand.

              “Well?” he insisted.

              She turned her back to him. “Why do you love me?”

              “What – what kind of question is that? And why are you asking this
now
, at
my
party?”

              She faced him. “Please. I don’t want to ruin your party,” she insisted.

              “Then don’t,” he said abruptly.

              “Then tell me!” she burst. “Why me? Why did you pick me? You said it yourself today! You could’ve had any girl you wanted. Why me?”

              He approached her. At his height, he towered over her and said sternly, “You were the most beautiful girl I knew, Marie. That’s why.”

              She laughed. “That’s it? That’s the only reason?”

              He backed away from her and paced the floor. “What do you want me to say, Marie? I chose you… because… because I love you.”

              “Why? Why do you love me?”

              “Why do you think I love you, Marie? You’re my fiancé! That’s why!”

              She lowered her head, and a burning in her chest lifted out of her through words. “You love me because I do whatever the hell you tell me to do!”

              His eyes were wide and his back straightened.

              Marie’s voice rose as she spewed out the words uncontrollably, “You wanted this house and we got it. You wanted to me to stay home and I stayed home! And God! Back in college? You wanted to go to this restaurant, so we went there. You wanted me to stay home while you went with your friends to the beach! You wanted me to wear that dress, so I wore it! You wanted to have sex, so we had sex! You like blondes, so I keep dying my hair for you. You wanted me…”

The lump returned to her throat, and she froze when she realized her eyes were full of tears. Her face was hot, and she looked down and saw her fists were clenched.

“And you got me,” she whispered.

              James was silent for a moment. He was tense and his lips curled and nostrils flared while he fought back his obvious frustration with her.

“Where is this coming from?” he asked. “You’ve never even seemed unhappy the entire time we’ve been together.”

              Marie choked back the lump. “I know, James, and that’s my fault. You liked me, and that’s what I always wanted, so I kept quiet… just like my mother always told me, keep quiet.” She laughed and pulled at her hair. “My hair isn’t even this blonde. You know I dyed it the same month I met you, and you told me how pretty it was. I haven’t let it go back since.”

              He put one hand on his mouth, one on his hip, and looked away from her. He stood there, still, staring at the wall.

              Marie trembled.

“I don’t even know what to say to you, Marie,” he said, looking back at her. “I think you’ve drank too much. That’s it, you’ve just drank too much.”

              She sighed. “Yes, maybe that’s it.” She eyed the empty glass on the nightstand. “I’ve had a lot tonight.”

              James breathed heavily. “Why - why do you love me?”

              Marie was quiet.

“I mean you
do
love me, right?” he asked. You’ve said that you do. I mean you said that when I asked you to marry me.”

She looked into his eyes.

“You’re the right man for me.”

He stared at her for moments, and he seemed just as disappointed in her answer as she’d been with his. “Fine, then. Anything else to talk about?”

Marie straightened up and cleared her throat. “No, no that’s all.”

He took her arm and led her to the door. Marie wiped her eyes and fixed her hair while James opened the door.

As they walked out, he said sternly, “Look happy.”