The Mistress Mistake (22 page)

"You're telling me to be faithful?" she asked
him incredulously.

"You better believe it."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are you going to be faithful to me during
this . . . this time apart?"

He took her face into his hands and sank his
fingers into her hair. His eyes were hot on hers as they swallowed
her whole. "I don't have much of a goddamn choice in the matter. I
couldn't get it up for anybody else even if I wanted to." His fists
tightened around her skull. "And. I. Don't. Want. To."

Jessica's heart went haywire and her breath
caught in her throat as hope, sweet and tempting sent butterflies
soaring under her breastbone. But she had no time to think on it
because Connor's mouth landed on hers, and his tongue pushed
between her lips, and he took a kiss that rattled her brain and set
her back to the moment when all she could think about was telling
him she loved him. What remained of her pride disappeared, and she
whispered, "Don't go to that stupid wedding,
please
don't."

He pulled away from her, pinched her chin
once more and said, "Remember what I said.
Legs closed
." And
then he walked from the apartment.

Jessica leaned against the door after he left
and shut her eyes. She took a deep, sustaining breath. So maybe it
wasn't over after all.

Their confrontation had happened late on
Sunday night, and luckily, work on Monday kept Jessica so busy that
she didn't have time to dwell on her bruised and battered heart.
She'd gotten very little sleep the night before, mostly tossing and
turning, and only when she walked out of the supermarket on Monday
night, did it occur to her that she'd have to catch the bus and
then walk in the dark the rest of the way home.

But that thought had barely registered when
she saw Connor leaning against his car in his customary parking
space, obviously there to pick her up. Butterflies whirled in her
stomach and she found herself short of breath as she walked toward
him. In the fifteen or so seconds it took her to cross to his
vehicle, her very vivid, romantic imagination had him pulling her
into his arms, begging her forgiveness, and then bending down on
one knee, confessing his undying love and proposing marriage with
his hand over his heart.

It didn't work out like that and her daydream
was rudely interrupted when she came to a stop a few feet away from
him. His eyes ran up and down her length before his expression
turned grim. "Get in the car."

Her feet stalled in their tracks. "What are
you doing here?"

As she watched, Connor turned away and opened
his door, waiting for her to do the same. "Get in the car,
Jessica."

She walked to the passenger side and slipped
into the seat as he started the engine. Buckling the seatbelt, she
turned to face him. "What are you doing here?"

He ignored her as if she hadn't spoken, and
drove straight to her apartment where he pulled into the space in
front of her unit and let his engine idle. He never said a word,
and his actions and demeanor had her utterly confused. She put her
hand on the door handle, preparing to let herself out. "I don't
understand you," she said simply.

He gripped the steering wheel. "What don't
you understand?"

"I thought you needed time. Why did you come
get me?"

Her question angered him and his knuckles
turned white where they held tightly to the steering wheel. "I do
need time," he hissed under his breath. "But what the fuck did you
expect? That I'd let you walk home in the
goddamned
dark?"

His eyes were glazed and tortured, and
Jessica responded as gently as she could. "I can take care of
myself, I promise you. I've been doing it for a long time."

"You're not walking home in the dark."

She studied him silently, almost feeling his
pain. "You care about me," she said softly, almost stunned by the
revelation.

His eyes closed and then he opened them,
rolled them heavenward and turned his glacial stare on her. "You're
just now figuring that out?"

She licked her lips. "I guess so."

Emotion passed between them and after a few
seconds, he broke the invisible link by cocking his head toward her
front door, dismissing her. "Make sure you lock up."

She blinked and nodded her head in silent
agreement and then opened her door. She was about to step down when
her elbow was caught in his steely grip. Swallowing hard, she
turned to face him once more with a schooled expression.

His lips twisted in a grimace and his
nostrils flared. His hand left her elbow and gripped her chin
between his fingers. He leaned over and placed a single, hard,
closed-mouth kiss on her lips. His mouth lifted from hers and fire
glittered from his eyes as his fingers became almost brutal on her
chin.
"Legs. Closed."

She felt the color bleach from her face as
she pulled away from him and fled into the apartment. Closing and
bolting the door, she leaned against it, her heart beating rapidly,
and waited for the sound of him driving off.

Finally, many minutes later, she heard the
hum of his engine and she moved away from the door and sank down on
the couch, her mind in a whirlwind and her heart more confused than
ever.

****

The next two days crawled by as Jessica
waited for Wednesday night when she knew in her heart that Connor
would be waiting for her again. She'd been in contact with Anthony
via text messaging and she knew he still wanted her to go with him
on Saturday. She liked Anthony, he was both attractive and pleasant
to be around. He wasn't full of himself or conceited in any way,
and Jessica imagined if he had continued to pursue her and she'd
never met Connor, she might have been tempted to start something up
with him.

But she had met Connor, and Anthony was too
nice of a guy to lead him on. If she went with him to the water
park on Saturday, she would have to spell it out beforehand that it
was only platonic, just a favor so he wouldn't have to show up to
the mixer alone.

She told herself that she'd give Connor until
this night, Wednesday night, to come to his senses before she
committed to Anthony. Anthony assured her that he didn't mind
waiting because he was out of all other possibilities for a date,
with school not in session and most everyone back at home for the
summer.

She managed to make it through her evening
shift without going completely batty, and when she walked out, she
found Connor leaning against his vehicle as she suspected he would
be. Giving her best attempt at a smile, and batting down the
butterflies in her stomach, she didn't wait for his order to get in
his car; she headed him off at the pass and opened the passenger
door and slid inside.

He climbed in beside her and didn't look at
her, not once. He started the engine and within minutes they were
pulling up in front of her apartment. He motioned with his head for
her to get out, and it reminded her so much of his non-verbal
commands of weeks ago that a liquid heat slid down her spine and
landed between her thighs.

Sliding her hand to the door handle, Jessica
acted as if she were on the verge on opening the door when that
wasn't her intention at all. She turned back toward him, and
pretending it was just an afterthought, asked, "Are you still going
to the wedding on Saturday?"

His lips thinned and tersely, he nodded his
head.

She pursed her mouth, lifted her brows and
shook her head as if she couldn't believe he was really going to do
it. She held his eyes and trying to shock him, and shocking herself
in the process, she enunciated clearly, "Keep your pants
zipped."

Surprise lit his features before he cracked a
half-grin. She didn't smile back, trying to let him know that she
was dead serious. She could forgive a lot of things, but there were
two rules she'd always promised herself she'd live by. If a man hit
her one time, she was gone. If a man cheated on her, he was
history. And the way she saw it, if Connor was demanding her
fidelity through all this messed-up shit, she had every right to do
the same.

When her face didn't change expression, his
smile dropped and his eyes became hooded. As he continued to stare
at her in silence, his scrutiny became more pronounced, almost
tangible, and her hand fell from the handle and dropped to her lap.
His eyes moved from her face, down to her throat and finally, they
landed on her breasts, which were lifting and falling with each
jerky breath she took. Tension filled the darkened interior of the
vehicle, and her heart turned over. She wanted him so badly, so
very desperately. Suddenly, she couldn't take anymore and in a rush
of movement, began to open the door to escape before she did
something or said something stupid.

He reached over her, slammed the door shut
again and his hand fell on her wrist, holding her in place. Her
lungs seized up and the breath snarled in her throat. His eyes fell
to her lips.
"Fuck it. Fuck. It."

Jessica heard the hiss of the door locks
sliding into place, and Connor's mouth fell on hers furiously, the
force of it pushing her head against the backrest where he held her
pinned. His tongue slammed between her lips and went deep inside
her mouth and stole her breath immediately. Heat and lust clouded
her mind and with the hand she had free, she clutched his hair and
held him tightly. The kiss he gave her was violent, wet, hot,
deep.
She hung still in his arms, relief so intense she
couldn't think, couldn't focus on anything but the smell of him,
the touch of him. The hours and days without knowing what was going
on inside his brain, not knowing if there was hope or no hope--it
had almost killed her.
And now he was kissing her as if he would
devour her whole
.

And then she remembered to kiss him back, and
when she did, the kiss turned even wilder. He sank his hand into
her hair and grasped her scalp, lifting her face for better access.
Their tongues tangled, their breathing mingled roughly, she could
hear her heartbeat thrumming through her ears.
Or was it
his?

She hung in a state of blissful heat as his
tongue lapped at hers wildly, before moving his lips to the side of
her mouth and nipping at her, biting and sucking her lower lip into
his mouth. She panted for air and wanted more than anything to drag
him inside her apartment, and put everything behind them.

The kiss continued, and his hand dropped to
her breast, kneading it and pulling at her nipple through the
layers of material covering it. A spiral of heat clawed down her
spine and she tightened her grip.

Connor pulled his mouth from hers. "You're
mine, Jessica. Don't forget it."

His lips met hers again but Jessica pulled
them away from him, breathing harshly.
"Tell me you're not going
to that wedding, Connor."

Jessica felt his breath stall. He wrapped his
hands around her face and lifted, until his eyes were only inches
from hers.
"I have to go."

Even though she heard the agony in his voice,
she couldn't care, not at that moment. "No, you don't.
Please,
don't."
Jessica knew she was begging, but nothing in her life
had ever seemed as important, and her pride had no place in
this.

"I have to go," he repeated.

"No, you don't. I don't want you to go, I
can't stand it. You don't know what it's doing to me, Connor. It's
tearing me up inside." She shuddered and recognized that tears were
streaming down her face. "Why? What's the deal that you think you
have to go?
I don't understand!
You keep insisting on my
fidelity, don't you understand how sad this is making me?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say . . . I
need time."

"How much time, Connor?
I can't stand
this. I can't stand thinking about you going with her, sitting next
to her in that church, holding her chair, her introducing you as if
you were hers,
and not mine.
You're mine, Connor. This is
killing me. She's going to try to touch you . . . " Jessica's eyes
slipped closed, " . . . sleep with you."

"Baby, I'm not going to sleep with her."

"If you do, I'll never forgive you. And I'll
know it, Connor."

"I'm not going to sleep with her,
I don't
want to sleep with her,
and I'd never lie to you."

"You're lying to me, now!
Something
sure as shit is going on in that head of yours, and this isn't
about being a gentleman. You're hiding something from me, and it's
not fair! You can't have it both ways."

He shut his eyes and dropped his head,
pulling completely away from her. She trembled in her seat as she
watched him, and she couldn't control the tears that ran down her
face.

When he didn't move from that position, she
flicked the lock on the door, opened the car door and ran inside
the apartment.

****

Since she'd just lived through the worst two
and a half days of her life, Jessica was more than surprised she
was actually enjoying herself on Saturday evening. The water park
was fun, the rides were awesome. The frat guys were being
hilarious, and even their dates, who were mostly sorority girls,
were being nice to her.

She managed to push Connor from her mind
except for five or six times an hour.

The only problem she was having was the fact
that Anthony hadn't taken her 'platonic rule' seriously.

She was having a bit of a problem with him.
He wanted to touch her. And she was trying not to be rude to him.
He was cute, and he made her laugh, but
damnit
, she
knew
he had had an ulterior motive.

After the third time of slipping her hand
from his after he'd caught it, she narrowed her eyes at him. "Play
nice, Anthony. You promised you would." Jessica felt okay
chastising him, because they were the last in line walking to get a
Coke and none of their group could hear them.