The Mighty Quinns: Cameron (7 page)

Just the thought of what he’d gone through as a boy was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She saw the aftereffects in the man he’d become—so careful and controlled. At times, he could be funny and relaxed, and then, in the blink of an eye, he’d lose himself in his thoughts.

“It must have been hard.”

“I don’t think much about it.”

She turned the tap and filled the sink with warm water.

“Let me do that,” Cameron said. “I’m supposed to be earning my keep here.”

Sofie handed him a dish towel. “You can dry,” she said.

He took the towel from her hand, then grabbed her waist and pulled her away from the sink. “I think we can leave those for later. Let’s take a walk. I need some fresh air.”

The sun was nearly at the horizon, the western sky blazing in colors of orange and pink and purple. Cameron took her hand and they walked out behind the trailer. The desolation of the high desert was spread out in front of them, and they walked toward the sunset, the landscape bathed in a pink hue.

“It’s a lot like the ocean,” Cameron murmured after he drew a deep breath. “Just a big expanse of nothingness. It makes everyday details seem kind of small and insignificant.”

“When we were kids, my grandfather used to take us out into the desert. He’d teach us all survival skills and talk to us about the Hopi culture, what it meant to live in the world and not on it.”

“John Muir,” Cameron said.

She nodded. “My grandfather was a big fan. We used to study everything and discuss its purpose in the desert. ‘When we try to pick out anything by itself,’” she quoted, “‘we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.’ That’s how the desert works.”

“I like that,” Cameron said.

“I learned to make fire without matches and how to find water. The ultimate test for my brothers was to spend forty-eight hours alone in the desert.”

“Really?” Cameron asked.

Sofie nodded. “All of them had done it by the time they turned thirteen. My grandfather said it was a rite of passage, the time when boys became men. But when it was my turn, they wouldn’t let me go. I begged and begged, but my parents told me that I couldn’t.”

“I suspect that was the wrong thing to say to you,” Cameron said, smiling down at her.

“I was so mad. I told myself that when I grew up, I would never, ever let anyone make decisions for me.” She kicked at a small rock with the toe of her boot. “Sometimes, I think that was the moment I decided that I would show them all that they were wrong about me.” She shrugged. “Maybe I should have learned to be more flexible.”

“No,” Cameron said. “You’re strong and independent. You know what you want. You don’t need to change, Sofie.” He pulled her into his embrace. “I like you just the way you are.”

He stared down at her, his gaze searching hers. When his lips touched hers, Sofie clutched at his shirt, her body feeling suddenly boneless. “You’re not scared of anything, are you?” Cameron said.

Sofie’s first response was the one she always had when challenged by her brothers. No, she wasn’t scared of anything. But if she really thought about it, there were a lot of things that scared her. As she looked up at Cameron, she realized that maybe she didn’t always have to be the toughest woman in the room. “That’s not true,” she said.

“What are you afraid of?”

“I’m afraid my hip will never get better. I’m afraid I’ll never get to be a cop again. I’m afraid I’ll—” She stopped, realizing that she’d already said too much.

“What? Say it.”

“I’m afraid I might always be alone. There. I said the thing that every woman shouldn’t say. The reason that women stay in horrible relationships.”

“No,” he said, hugging her tight. “You won’t be alone.”

Sofie pulled out of his embrace and strode toward the sunset. It didn’t help to have him here, touching her and kissing her whenever she needed reassurance. She’d already come to crave those moments when she forgot who she was and just…reacted.

She heard his footsteps behind her and then felt the touch of his hand on her shoulder. “Did you ever do that quest, you know, spend the two nights in the desert? All on your own?”

Sofie sighed. “I did. I was fourteen and we were here visiting my uncle. I grabbed a sleeping bag and some supplies and just walked out there,” she said, pointing. “I didn’t tell anyone where I was going.”

“And?”

“I was terrified. I didn’t sleep at all the first night. By the second night, I was so exhausted, I slept like the dead. And when I got home, I was grounded for six months.” She paused. “I feel that same kind of fear right now.”

“Are you afraid of me?”

“No. Well, yes, kind of. I’m afraid that you’ll…”

“What?” Cameron asked, turning her chin up until their eyes met.

“I—I’m afraid you’ll change me. You’ll…knock me off course. I know what I want, Cameron. And a guy like you doesn’t really fit into those plans, no matter how much fun it is to kiss you and touch you.”

He forced a smile, fixing his gaze somewhere over her shoulder. “I’m not sure what to say to that. Sofie, I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to.”

A tiny laugh escaped her lips. “Yeah, well, you may not mean to do it, but you do anyway.”

Cameron reached up and ran the back of his hand over her cheek, then furrowed his fingers through her hair. She knew he wanted to kiss her and could see what it was costing him to resist. But this had already gone too far. They’d known each other two days, and she was a heartbeat away from falling into bed with him.

“So what’s our next move?” Cameron asked.

“We’re going to go to Taos tomorrow, and you’re going to meet with Walter. I’m going to get a room for myself, then hang around and see if I can catch a photo of him with Vivian. He’s never seen me, so I think I’ll be safe. And then—”

“I meant about us,” Cameron interrupted. “Where do you and I go from here?”

Sofie drew a deep breath. “I’m your boss and you’re my employee.”

She could see her answer wasn’t what he wanted to hear. And it was the last thing she wanted to say. But this was already getting too dangerous, and she was ill-prepared to handle an affair with him. It would be best to stop while they still could.

“You know, maybe I should do a quest of my own.” He turned and started toward the Airstream. “That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to grab a sleeping bag and some supplies and just walk out into the desert.”

“You can’t do that,” Sofie said. “You have no idea what’s out there. You’ll get lost. You’ll get bitten by a snake or a spider, and then I’ll have to go find you and drag you back here.”

He spun around, stopping her in her tracks. “Then come with me,” he said. “Let’s do it. We don’t have to leave until late tomorrow morning.”

“I can’t,” she said. “We shouldn’t.”

“Which is it, Sofie?”

“Both,” she said.

“Well, if you want to play it safe, that’s fine. But as long as I’m here, I’m going see what I’m made of.”

Sofie cursed as she hurried after him. This was the last thing she needed. They should be focusing on the case, discussing strategies for tomorrow, going over the possible scenarios. “Can’t you see what you’re made of some other night?”

“I think a night alone in the desert is exactly what I need right now,” Cameron said.

* * *

H
E
DIDN
’
T
NEED
TO
walk far to lose sight of the ranch house. Cameron had navigated the open ocean without sight of land, steering by the stars. He wasn’t afraid he’d get lost as Sofie had predicted. He’d picked out a point on the horizon and walked until the sun was nearly gone.

He found a spot in the shelter of a rocky outcropping. A nearby wash had enough wood to start a small fire, and he gathered it by the last light of the day. Unfortunately, the lighter he’d grabbed from the Airstream was out of fluid, so he was left with nothing but a pile of wood.

Cameron sat down and stared up at the first star in the deep blue sky. The silence all around him was almost deafening. It was so quiet he could hear himself thinking.

What the hell was doing here? He ought to be back in Seattle, perfecting the new hull design he’d been working on. But in two days, he’d managed to forget all about that life and just slipped into this one. He cursed softly. If his real life was so forgettable, what did that say about it?

Part of it was the girl, he mused. She was the most intriguing woman he’d ever met. But his infatuation for her was bound to fade, as it had with every other woman in his life.

Too bad he couldn’t make it disappear just by sheer will. Then they’d both be happy. But there was no denying how he felt when he touched her. It took all his willpower to keep himself from stripping them both naked and indulging in the desire that they both tried so hard to control.

He understood her fears. He’d had the same fears himself. For as long as he could remember, he’d avoided commitment, afraid that once he found someone to love he was bound to lose her, just like he lost his parents. If fate could destroy his family in the blink of an eye, then it could certainly destroy any relationship he cherished just as quickly.

But maybe those fears had affected him more than he’d realized. He’d always made the safe decision, the conservative choice. When it came time to choose a career, he didn’t even consider stepping outside the comfort of the family business.

And yet now, with his world upside down, Cameron realized that he really hadn’t been living his life. He’d just been…going along. And worse than that, he wasn’t really happy.

“Nice fire.”

The sound of her voice came out of nowhere, causing him to jump to his feet. An instant later, she shined a flashlight in his eyes. “Jaysus, you scared me.”

“Lucky I wasn’t a pack of coyotes looking for a late-night snack.” Sofie slipped her backpack off her shoulders and set it down on the dry ground, then bent over the pile of firewood. A few seconds later, the kindling flickered, then caught.

“Thanks,” Cameron said. “How did you find me?”

“My grandfather taught us to track. You’re not hard to follow. You have very big feet.” She poked at the fire with a stick.

“Why did you come?”

“I would never forgive myself if something happened to you out here. I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight worrying about you. So, I figured if I was out here with you we’d both have a chance to sleep.” She turned and began to rummage through her pack. “Tent,” Sofie said.

“Real men don’t sleep in tents,” he teased.

“Well, I do. You can sleep out here if you want, but I’m going inside. Stay close to the fire. It’ll ward off the snakes and spiders and—”

“Lions and tigers?”

Sofie laughed. “A few bears, too.” She untied the drawstring on the tent bag and dumped the contents on the ground. “There’s a lantern in my pack. Why don’t you pull that out and light it up?”

Cameron bent over her backpack and began to remove the contents. He pulled out a package of marshmallows and two campfire forks, then held them out to her. “What’s this?”

“Dessert,” she said.

“I thought I was supposed to be roughing it.”

“You’re a city boy.”

“I have been camping before. Besides, I came out here to see if I was tough enough.”

She grabbed the marshmallows and put them back in her pack. “All right. You don’t get any s’mores, then. And since you’re tough, you can finish setting up the tent.”

Luckily the tent was similar to the one his brother Ronan owned, so he managed to get it up and staked in about fifteen minutes. He laid their sleeping bags inside, then joined her by the campfire.

She stared into the flames as she roasted a pair of marshmallows, slowly turning them. When they were finished, she held the fork out to him. “You first,” she murmured.

He popped the nearly melted marshmallow into his mouth. “Mmm. Good.” Cameron watched her for a long moment as she picked at hers. “So why did you really come out here? I’m pretty sure I would have survived the night.”

“I feel responsible for you,” Sofie said. “You’re my employee.”

“Is that all there is to it?” Cameron asked. He wanted her to tell him that there was much more, that she’d changed her mind about this attraction between them, that she didn’t want to deny herself. “You can admit it, Sofie.” He leaned closer, drawing in a deep breath, the scent of her shampoo sweet on the night air.

Sofie sighed softly. “It’s not that I don’t want to be with you. I feel it, too. Every time you touch me or kiss me, I can imagine how it would be. But we’ve only just met. And when it comes to men, I just don’t trust myself.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You’re a nice guy. More than nice. You’re the kind of man my mother wants me to marry. And it would be so easy for me to just surrender to that, to take the easy way out.”

“You think love and marriage are easy?”

Sofie got to her feet and brushed off her hands on the front of her jeans. “I’m going to go back. Now that you have the tent and a fire, you’ll be good on your own.”

Cameron grabbed her hand. “Don’t. Sofie, I understand. I’m not going to force the issue.”

She nodded. “I know. But I might.”

Cameron watched silently as she grabbed the flashlight and turned it on. “You sure you can find your way back?” he asked.

“Sure. I know this desert like the back of my hand. And see that brightness over there? That’s the yard light at the ranch. Just in case you need to find your way back in the dark. I’ll leave it on.” She drew a ragged breath. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Cameron.”

He watched her disappear into the darkness, her footsteps echoing in the silent night air. Of all the women he’d ever known, there wasn’t one who was smart enough or brave enough to walk through the desert in the middle of the night.

The fire popped and he grabbed one of the forks, loading it with marshmallows. He glanced over at the tent, visible in the light from the fire. She was right to go back, he thought to himself. There was no way they’d spend the night in that tent and not give in to what they both wanted.

In the distance, a coyote howled and Cameron smiled to himself. “How-ooooo,” he sang, the sound carrying off into the distance. He listened and thought he heard a laugh from somewhere in the dark.