The Messenger (A Lesbian Romance) (5 page)

I didn’t know what to say in response. Was that even something you’re supposed to respond
to
? I cleared my throat and tried not to turn myself too much to face her, for fear of possibly saying or doing something to embarrass myself. I was all nerves, suddenly. The old man behind the bar couldn’t move fast enough for my taste. Rabbit leaned up against the bar, stretching out her hands on the wood. It was the first time I’d seen her ungloved hands, and I couldn’t stop looking at them. She had a spray of stars tattooed on her left hand, which trailed gracefully from the webbing between her thumb and index finger and ended at the delicate bone of her wrist.
 

It’s funny, in retrospect, how the finest details of her are what got me so hooked. As I would soon find out, the lovely, thin delicate lines of her hands would be only one of the many things that would eventually comprise my devotion. The bartender returned and handed Rabbit her beer. He looked at me almost begrudgingly, as though he would take my order, but only because he had nothing better to do just then. I told him what I wanted, then watched as he shuffled away once more.
 

Rabbit maintained her post beside me, despite having received her beer. I dared a glance to my side and saw her lightly running the pad of one fingertip through the foamy head. She looked at it almost lovingly, like she was teasing some lucky woman. The thought made me blush, but I didn’t quite look away. She brought the beer to her lips and held her gaze at me over the rim of the glass. Something was happening, but I didn’t know what. I only knew that I didn’t want it to end; I was trying to get stuck in this moment, where we seemed to be the only people in the bar. As far as I was concerned, everything around us went dull and fuzzy and my heart thrilled at the fact that I was closer to Rabbit than I had ever been.
 

She leaned against the bar once more, and I was vaguely aware that I began to lean toward her. I couldn’t help myself. She didn’t move away. It didn’t seem possible that she was unaware of my creeping, which set my heart pounding. Did she really want me to be as close to her as I did? Before deciding to test my luck further, I stopped just as I felt her sleeve, which was rolled up to her elbow, touching my own. It may be just my imagination, but I swear I could feel her warmth, and could almost smell the salt of her skin. It was all I could do to keep my composure; inside, I was writhing. I wanted to rip this girl’s clothes off and feel every inch of her skin against mine. I would’ve done anything just to hear her whisper my name. The girl had no idea, the sea change she’d begun inside me.

When the shifty bartender returned with my drink, it was the first time in history that I was disappointed to have a gin and tonic set before me. For some reason, I felt like Rabbit would take it as her cue to leave. I looked at the drink mournfully for a moment before asking what I owed.
 

“Seven dollars.”
 

Fair enough, I thought. Not quite a happy hour price, but I’d definitely seen worse. I reached for my wallet, when Rabbit swallowed a gulp of beer and announced,
 

“I’ll get it, Jake.”

I froze in my tracks. And for as long as I live, I will regret the next thing that came out of my mouth.

“No! Can you even afford that?”

Both Jake and Rabbit looked at me like I’d just sprouted an ear on my forehead. I felt like the whole bar had turned to stare at me. Suddenly a realization washed over me like a wave; I was being patronizing in the most awful way, assuming that she was poor just because she was a messenger, a position I just assumed was lowly and poorly paid. Even worse, I was undoing whatever had intertwined between us.
 

Rabbit put her drink down and looked at me, probably searching my face for a reason why I would’ve said something so stupid. Jake skittered away, moving faster than I would’ve thought possible for him. My mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. I began to wish that the barstool was an ejector seat.
 

“Shame you can’t buy any common sense with all that money you apparently have.”

Ouch. She slapped a twenty on the bar and rejoined her friends. I worried for a second that she would point me out and that they would all turn to face me with looks similar to the one she gave me, but they carried on none the wiser of my existence, or of the ignorant thing I’d said to their friend. Rabbit must have been right; common sense would dictate that I should remove myself from the bar immediately, but I lingered instead, nursing my drink and letting the music and overheard conversations envelope me like a cloud.
 

Chapter Nine

About halfway through my drink, I felt my phone buzz in my purse. Oh, right. The meeting I’d never gone to. I peeked at it. It was Mitchell. The phone felt like an intrusion from a world I was actively trying to block out, so without answering, I turned it off and dropped it unceremoniously into my bag. All that stuff could wait. For now, I was just enjoying the view as the bar became more crowded, and was all but packed with happy, chattering young people. They were so full of life, drinking to have a good time, instead of drinking to escape, which is what a drink had become to me many years ago. Some of them I recognized as bike messengers. I wondered how many of them had come through my office, without so much as a second glance from me.
 

Finally, I felt it was time to go. I would have to face the music sooner or later, and got up to leave just as my second gin and tonic began to warm my veins. As I took a moment outside to let my eyes adjust to the evening light, Rabbit spilled out of the club door. She looked embarrassed to have been caught hurrying. She approached me, quickly pulling herself back to her usual cool self.
 

“Hey.”

“Hi.” I considered playing it cool, but I was still ashamed by what I’d said to her.

“Look”, I began. “I didn’t mean to… suppose, I guess you’d call it, earlier. It was a sucky thing to say. I’m sorry.”

Rabbit looked down at her feet. I couldn’t tell if she accepted my apology, but if the butterflies taking flight anew in my belly were any indication, I was just glad that she was still standing there.
 

“Yeah, it was pretty sucky”, she agreed, kicking around some discarded cigarette butts on the asphalt. “But, it was kind of sucky for me to assume you wanted me to cover your drink. I didn’t mean to be so forward. Can we start over?”
 

Start over
? So she thought something had been started? She looked at me, training her gaze into that spot in my gut that only she seemed to have access to. I would’ve said yes to anything. I swallowed hard and involuntarily looked down at my feet, like I was a freshman in high school all over again.
 

“Sure”, I said, hoping that she couldn’t hear a tremble in my voice. I held out my hand.
 

“Lucy Murphy.”

She smiled and shook my hand, sending little electric sparks up my arm.
 

“Elena Acevedo.”

Elena. Elena. How many times has that name tumbled through my lips since then?

“Not Rabbit?”

She shook her head and smiled. That smile, perfectly framed in her face. I still see that singular smile in my dreams.
 

“No, that’s just what they call me.”

“Who’s ‘they’?”

She gestured to the bar, but I got the impression that she meant all of downtown.

“Them. Co-workers, friends, people who know me a certain way.”

That made my heart sink a little. It was presumptuous, of course, to think that I might be anything else to her than someone who’d been nothing but cold and insulting, but I wanted to actually mean something to this young woman. I nodded as though we’d just agreed on something.
 

“Well, nice to meet you, Elena”, I said, turning to leave. Maybe I’d see her around sometime, I thought. However, I didn’t get more than a few steps away before she called out.
 

“Hey!”

I turned around. She gave a disapproving look to a bouncer that had come out to guard the door and was overseeing our conversation, then jogged over to me. I could tell that she was nervous.

“I… I don’t know how to say this. But, since I saw you sitting at the bar, the only thoughts in my head have been of you.”

She swallowed hard and looked at her hands. My brain was scrambled. She seemed like she was gathering up all her courage, then looked back up at me, piercing me with those dark eyes.
 

“And if I don’t kiss you tonight I think I am going to explode.”

Without another word, and before I could chicken out, I leaned down and kissed her. Our lips fit perfectly together. Instantly my desire began to boil over, and I found myself pulling her close to me. She was surprisingly supple, giving in and melting against me. Just as quickly as our kiss began, she pulled away. I was confused.
 

“I’m sorry - was that… I’ve never kissed another woman, I don’t - “

She shook her head and held a hand up to quiet me.
 

“No, it’s not that at all. It’s just… fuck, this is crazy… “

Elena leaned in close.
 

“I’ve never done this before, but… if I asked you to follow me home, would you?”

I’d never gotten back to my car so quickly. Elena was right, this was indeed crazy, but I was in full-on heat by that moment. I had no idea what awaited me at her place, or what I would do. I only knew that I needed to get there as quickly as possible. I waited in my car until she appeared on her bike as though from a vision. She led me out of downtown. As we stopped for lights and she planted one foot on the ground, I felt like we had a delicious secret between us. I watched her intently, studying how she navigated traffic with a sense of authority and toughness. I felt oddly territorial.
This woman is mine
, I thought,
even if only for tonight
. I wondered if it was what men feel when they know a woman will have them.
 

Once we were out of downtown, she led me into the hills above the trendy, bohemian neighborhood of the city. I’d been through the neighborhood countless times, but had never really thought it about it. It was amazing, that simply following her through it got me to appreciate it in a whole new way. As the streets got increasingly steep, she had to stand up to pedal in some spots, and I absorbed the sight of her perfect heart-shaped ass. God, I was lecherous, and was enjoying every second of it.

Finally, she pointed at a driveway and dismounted her bike. By the time I parked and got out of the car, she was already inside, but had left the door open. I followed, as though trailing an enticing sent. Her building was Spanish style, probably from the 1920’s, probably a one-time love nest for a silent film star. Very romantic. A steep stairway led up to her apartment. As I went up, I could hear her putting things away, opening and closing drawers. I guess she wasn’t counting on company that night, which was somehow charming to me.
 

When I got in, I gently closed the door behind me. For a moment, I was worried that I would have second thoughts, and that the true impulsiveness of following this strange woman home would finally reveal itself. But, when she emerged from the hallway wearing only her jeans and a look of unmistakable desire, that all went away. Every inch of my body knew exactly what to do.
 

We wasted no time; she walked into my arms and lifted her face to mine. When our lips touched I felt it throughout my entire body. I was electrified with plain, animal lust, and couldn’t hold her close enough. When she gently licked my lips with just the tip of her soft tongue, my knees all but buckled. She pulled away just a little, and gave me a devilish smile. She knew exactly what she was doing to me, which made me want her even more.
 

She took my hand and led me to her bedroom. I was only vaguely aware of the art and books all over her apartment. Maybe there would be time for a tour later, but for now, we shared only one purpose. The only light in the room was the gentle orange glow from the streetlight outside, which accentuated every curve of her body. She looked like a living work of art. Instinctually, I slowly ran the fingertips of my left hand over her hip, up the curve of her torso, then across her delicate looking collarbone, where I could feel her pulse pounding.
 

She sighed, then took my hand in hers and kissed my palm. She turned my hand over and gently licked the spot between my index and middle finger, setting off tiny fireworks between my legs. Releasing my hand, she set to work undoing my blouse. She must have been some kind of expert at that kind of thing, because before I knew it, I was down to my bra and panties. She pulled me close, pressing her hip against the spot where I cared for it most.
 

She undid my bra like a magician. Suddenly feeling her naked breasts against my own was like discovering a new world. We tumbled onto her bed in a movement that would’ve been hilarious if not for our shared sense of urgency. I pressed my lips against hers once more and, gathering all my courage, took her in hand through her jeans. We both cried out; I could feel how wet she was, even though the tough fabric. I had to get at what awaited me there. I went to undo her pants, but she stopped me.
 

“Not yet”, she whispered.
 

She then pressed her fingers against my own, guiding me to use my middle and ring finger to massage her through the jeans. She was impossibly wet. After a few moments of kissing her, our tongues dancing and exploring, she put her hand down my panties and with one deft motion, had them off me. We giggled like schoolgirls, then she flipped me onto my back. She gently opened my legs and gave me a mischievous look as she stroked my thighs. She leaned forward and licked my hard nipple. I shivered with pleasure.

“You ever had a blow job, Lucy?”, she murmured.

I could barely comprehend language at that point.