Authors: Alexa Rae
He was going to kill me.
"I heard you sing over other tone deaf fans and it made me want you even more. Your voice was enchanting and I found myself missing a few
beats in my own songs just so I could listen to you. When you left the concert early I was pissed because I figured I'd miss my chance to hunt you down. I was outside, after the concert, when I heard you scream. I heard you begging that asshole for your life and I took off, following the sound of your cries."
"The monster in me just wanted to save you from that waste of space so I could have you for myself, but there was another part of me that was ready to rip out whoever's throat, caused you pain." He exhaled.
"You know what happened next. I pulled him off you. I was prepared to sink my teeth into your skin right then and there, but there was something holding me back."
He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Every
time you spoke to me, you bought yourself an extra moment to live. And I'm not like that. When I kill, it's fast and it's quick, and I show no mercy." His eyes met mine. I could see the pain seeping into them now.
"There was something about you that made me give you more time. I was finding excuses to let you live. When I realized he hit you I was seething with anger and it frustrated me because you were just some little
human girl. I finally pushed back the hesitations and was ready to kill you when I got another whiff of your scent." He exhaled and stopped as though he was trying to find the correct words. I waited, ready to listen. I wanted to hear all of it. No matter how unreal it seemed.
"Our sense of smell goes further than a specific blood type like A positive or B negative. Every human's blood is unique, but there are some that stand out over others. There are a select number of people in
this world who carry a specific blood type, one that is a delicacy to zombies. By select, I mean very few of the dead will ever come in contact with a human like this. It's the most rare and uncommon blood type, which makes these humans more desirable. The blood isn't just for taste. It gives us virtual
indestructability. Just one drop in our veins and we're stronger, faster, and we can last for months without decomposing."
He suddenly stopped and stared at me intently. "You
carry that blood type." Something in my stomach dropped. I watched him, my eyes wide. He continued slowly, "Your blood saved your life that night. If it weren't for the smell I would have killed you. When I realized who you were I forced myself off you and left you in the alley to get the guys. I planned to
share you between the five of us, but with every second that passed I lost confidence in my decision. Your face haunted my mind. Everything about you made me wish I wasn't a monster. I wanted to be better, to do better, and before I
knew it we were in a different city."
He took a step forward, one that I allowed. He didn't touch me though. He kept his hands to his sides, but his eyes were filled with apprehension. He was scared I would run.
"Ella, I never told them. I couldn't do it. I didn't care what your blood could have done for us. I hoped I'd never see you again because the thought of your death on my hands was unfathomable."
I frowned. "If you never told them then how do they know about me?"
His eyes hardened when they dropped to the ground. "Three weeks ago I fucked up. I hadn't eaten in a while and I was close to
decomposing. I knew it would happen on stage and I didn't care. I was reckless and stupid, but I'm selfish. The adrenaline kicked in after a few songs and I lost it. I exposed the monster to the audience and they freaked." He narrowed his eyes. "It wouldn't have been a big deal if the Undead hadn't
been at the show."
"The Undead?"
"The original group of zombies," he explained. "They're the hierarchy. They set the standards for the rest of us. They're
ancient, which makes them much stronger than the younger ones like us. We have to obey their laws or they track us down and eliminate our existence. There aren't many laws and I managed to break their most important one. To remain
secret from the human population, which means no exposure to any human, and I exposed myself to hundreds within seconds."
"There are hundreds of Undead spread across the world and there are always a few that keep tabs on our band. We walk on a thin line
in their books because we're famous and in danger of constant exposure. They hate us and they've been waiting for a reason to come after us. After that show they threatened to kill not only me, but my band members. There's no
negotiating with the Undead. Once you're on their list, you're done. I didn't care about my future but I was desperate for them to excuse my brothers."
"The Undeads sole reason for existence is searching for
humans like you. I knew if I told them I about you that they'd let us go as a trade. So I gave up your name and told them I'd find you and bring you to them." His jaw locked again and he let out one sharp breath. "I told them you lived in Georgia, but that was all I knew. They gave me twenty days to
find you and bring you back to them, but" he cleared his throat "I didn't mention that I already knew where you were."
My eyes snapped to his, the shock contorting my features. My
heart raced in my chest as I searched for the words to respond. "What did you say?"
"I followed you home that night. Two girls dropped you off at your house and then your ex-boyfriend stopped by," he ended the
last sentence in a low growl that left me frozen. He heard me fight with Eli. "You never told anyone about me which had me intrigued. I assumed you would tell your friends about your encounter with a famous rock star, but you said nothing. I didn't believe it at first, but it made me want to learn more about you."
He leaned his head back. His eyes followed the stars above our heads when he continued to speak. "I left that night because I knew I
could never know you. I liked being a monster and you would change all of that. You're so perfect and pure. I'm the complete opposite of everything you are and I knew if I got involved I would ruin you while trying to change myself and I couldn't handle that." His eyes fell back to mine and he ran a hand
through his tousled hair. "So I went back to my band and focused on what I do best, music and murder."
I stared at him with wide eyes while his words sank in. He gave me everything, all at once. He didn't hold back the dirty details and he
didn't take it slow. My chest was growing heavy and I found breathing difficult. I was confused, angry, flattered, and scared. I wanted to run, but I wanted him to come after me.
"That night in the graveyard on Halloween," I said as I recalled the memory. "You really did see that man, didn't you?"
Ben stared at me. "I ripped his head off."
My jaw dropped. I wasn't ready for that. I tried the words
in my mouth, "You killed him."
He shook his head. "We're dead, Ella. Someone else took his life. I just finished the job and stashed the body before you had the
chance to open your eyes."
"Why?"
He stared at me incredulously. "He was an Undead. That right there is reason enough, but at the time it didn't matter who he was. He was hungry and he was coming after you. I didn't think twice when I heard you
scream."
"An Undead was after me?"
Ben frowned, "They don't trust me to bring you back so they're starting to come look for you themselves. I've taken care of every one
of them that has come near Covington."
I nodded and my gaze fell to the ground along with my expression. "What will the Undead do to me when they find me?"
Ben was in front of me. The space between us was minimal. He
grabbed a hold of my face, desperately searching for my eyes. I lifted my gaze and he trapped it immediately. "Listen to me, Ella. I'm not going to let them touch you. I'll rip their arms off before they can lay a finger on you,
understand?"
His voice was harsh and demanding, but it still managed to melt my heart. I couldn't focus on the way I felt about Ben. He came back to Covington to kidnap me and hand me over to venomous creatures of the night. I
couldn't ignore that. When did he change his mind? Did he change his mind? He said he wasn't going to hurt me, but that didn't mean much knowing what he was and what his intentions were. He got close to me and I let my guard down. I
trusted him, even after I promised myself I would never trust another guy, and it almost got me killed.
"You used me," I mumbled, my voice lost in my throat.
His eyes narrowed. "What?"
I shrugged. "You came here with a plan to manipulate me, right? You used my emotions and my demons against me so that I would trust you. It's the only way I would have let my guard down." Parts of the
puzzle began to come together. He knew where I lived. He must have known about my past. Hell, everyone did.
I stepped out of his reach, feeling the weight of the situation press against my shoulders. "You knew about my past going into
this, didn't you? My brother's suicide and my shit for brains father." I threw my hands up, feeling the anger override the fear and the confusion and the hurt. My eyes watered, but I kept my voice firm. "It's the only way I could have let you in so easily."
Ben stared at me, dumbfounded and angry. "I never used you, Ella. I came to Covington to kidnap you, emotions aside. I had to save my brothers, but when I found you everything I worked hard to push away flooded
back to the surface." His voice began to rise as he spoke. "I knew from the moment we met in the alley that you were a tortured soul, haunted by something in your past. I also knew you refused to let it rule your life. When I saw you dancing on that park bench in the square, singing your heart out to a
mediocre pop song, I lost it. I saw this poor, haunted girl having the time of her life, letting herself go. She wasn't going to let her demons control her."
I listened to him, feeling my stomach clench. The tears
spilled over my eyes, but for different reasons now. Ben closed the space between us again, but he kept his hands to himself this time. "Before we officially met in the graveyard, before the concert in the square, I knew I
couldn't let the Undead take you. I would say there was something about you, but it wasn't something it was everything. I wanted to know you. I wanted to protect you from everything in the world that could hurt you. I wanted to know
your pain and take it away. I wanted you." He brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I'll always want you. Only you."
His hands moved to cup my cheeks. He held my face tenderly. The pads of his thumbs brushed away my tears. I allowed myself to get lost in
the warmth that radiated from his gaze as his eyes bore into mine. I believed him, but I couldn't fall completely into him this time. I had to hold myself back. I was scared and in love with a monster who killed people to survive.
"Everything I know about you, I found out from you. Your past is still a mystery to me and I'm ready to listen when you're ready to talk about it. I never used you. I lied to you about certain things, but I
never pretended to be anything other than the monster I am."
My body began to shake again. A sob ripped from my chest and the tears continued to spill over. I turned away from him, drawing his hands back from my face. I loved him and I trusted him with every ounce of my being,
but for once it wasn't enough. He was a monster. Loving him was incredibly and undoubtedly wrong. I was in danger of breaking down again now that this new door had been opened. I was scared to be with him.
"Ella," Ben pleaded, "Tell me what's wrong." His hands grasped my neck, searching for me. He tried to pull me to face him, but I willed against his touch. My hands clasped his in my own and pulled them back to his sides.
I sucked in a deep breath. "I need you to take me home, Ben. Please."
I could feel the hurt in his eyes, piercing into my soul and taking a stab at my heart. I tried not to wince at the physical pain I felt in
his reaction. I had to hold myself together before I fell apart completely in front of him. He said nothing. The silence was eating me alive, as ironic as it seemed. There was a shard of ice in my chest that chilled me to the bone. I
felt sick, as though my stomach was deteriorating inside my body. I needed to get home.
"Please Ben."
He gave one short nod. "I'll take you home."
That was it. There wasn't anything left to exchange. He
stepped forward and let me walk in front of him. He remained close enough for comfort, but with enough distance to show me he respected my decision. I felt my throat closing, the water works threatening to start, knowing what Ben
assumed. He knew I was afraid. He knew it was the right way for me to respond.
He didn't know that, despite everything, his presence still brought me comfort. I melted into place by his side. I was supposed to recoil
in reaction to his touch. I was supposed be terrified of a man, who was not only dead, but had taken countless lives of others. The information was unsettling, but deep down I knew it didn't matter. I still wanted him, which was why I had to let him go. I'd was too close. So close that the wrong was
desperately searching for a way to override the right.
When we made our way back to the house, I noticed someone standing on the porch, waiting for our return. When we neared the gravel drive
my eyes focused on his face. It was Jesse, the stranger who let Cam bite me.
I halted to a stop the second I saw him. Ben tensed beside me, waiting for my reaction. He cast a glance over to Jesse and descended down the porch steps. His pace was slow, he was being cautious. He didn't want to
frighten me. I should have been scared, but I felt nothing. Ben was with me.
Jesse stopped a few feet away and tossed something to Ben. His eyes never left me. It wasn't a stare that made me uneasy. He looked at me
as though he were trying to convince himself I was real.