The Lost Soul Trilogy (Primani Book 5) (38 page)

“I was going to say ‘beautiful,’ but I didn’t want to stroke your ego any more. God knows it’s big enough.” I stuck out my tongue for good measure.

He just laughed and said, “You used the words ‘stroke’ and ‘big’ in the same sentence. Did you have something on your mind?” He leaned back enticingly and patted his lap in invitation.

“Pig!” I couldn’t help laughing at the exaggerated leer on his face.

Slipping over to my rock, he made himself comfortable. “Something’s bothering me.” I nodded and he continued. “The demon had to know you were in the city. The usual trackers either physically follow you around or they use a tracer. Tracers can be physical or psychic.”

“How would someone put a psychic tracer on me? Wouldn’t I know?”

“No, you wouldn’t unless you know what to look for. Have you noticed any changes in your thoughts? Any ideas that might push you away from home, something that isn’t quite you? If they wanted to get you to the city, pushing you there would be the easiest way. You come on your own and you’re easier to get to. With us around, well, that’s a harder way to go.”

I thought back to the little voices I’d heard. I’d thought they were my own thoughts, insecurities…“Well, the night of the break in, I had a really, really bad dream where you guys made Sean kill me and burned my body. “I described what I remembered of the dream. “I felt betrayed when I woke up.”

His face blanched, “That’s some dream.” He thought for a minute and asked about voices in my head. “Not schizophrenic voices, but the little nagging doubts that aren’t really true to your nature. They’d hit you when your defenses are down.”

Slowly, I said, “Maybe. I regretted leaving as soon as I got to the penthouse. After the weird scene with James, I wanted to call Sean, but something kept telling me you guys didn’t care about me. I argued about that. I
know
you guys care about me. But the little voice was convincing enough that I decided not to call that night. Then I wanted to call later, and the voice hinted that you didn’t really want me on the team or trust me with anything important. After all, you’d all left me there alone and gone out on a mission without me. It hurt my feelings and I decided not to call.”

Amusement glittered in his eyes, but he smothered a smile with his hand. “So, let me get this straight. You had a mental argument with
yourself
and you lost?”

“All I can say to that is
wow
,” he added.

“Oh, funny. That’s not exactly how it went. The voice wasn’t so obvious. There were just little suggestions that played into my fears. I’m already insecure. It wasn’t hard to play on that.” I stretched and yawned. “Wow that really pisses me off when I think about it. Do you think it’s the same demon who tried to kill me?”

“Not sure yet. We’ll work it out though. We can’t let this go without a reaction. It would tip the scales in their favor. Not to mention, none of us will rest until we’ve blown that demon back to Hell.”

Totally changing the subject, he asked, “Are you getting hungry yet?”

“Yes! All this fresh air is wearing me out and making me hungry. What’s on the menu? Seal steaks or sushi? I think I see some fish out there…”

“Even better. Close your eyes and don’t move. I’ll be right back.” He vanished with a grin.

I sat up and looked around. “Killian?”

“Over here!” He’d reappeared behind me with a basket in his hands.

Curious, I grabbed my clothes and hopped over to him. “What’s that?”

Holding it above his head, he said, “Not yet. Let’s walk a bit and find some grass. You can call it a picnic.”

The sun was burning just over the horizon. Everything was red and gold as the sun set to the west. Even the water burned like the sun.  Killian came up behind me and asked if I was cold.

I rubbed my arms. “A little but it’s such a long journey for the sun, it’s almost rude to leave before it’s finished.”

“You have an odd way of looking at things. Are you sure you’re human?” He lifted an arm in invitation and I curled under it to lean into the furnace of his body. My goose bumps vanished immediately. We stood in companionable silence while the sun sank beyond our sight. Millions of pinpricks of lights replaced the sunset and I craned my neck to see the night sky.

“Can we lie down?” I asked.

“What did you have in mind?”

I smacked him in the stomach and he grunted. “You have a surprisingly dirty mind for an angel.”

“I asked an innocent question. I think you have the dirty mind, which makes more sense since you’re the
human
.”

He bent close to my ear and said, “Okay, what do you want to do?”

A little breathless, I said, “I want to look at the stars, on my back.”

“Ask and you shall receive. Come on.”

Five minutes later, I was still smiling. Shaking my head, but smiling. Ask and you shall receive, indeed. We were lying side by side on the grassy hill above the stone ruins. I was using his arm for a pillow and sucking up his excess body heat to stay warm. If anyone saw us, they’d think we were aliens, lying here in the dark, glowing with our own personal starlight. I giggled at the image and he grinned. The night sky was like black velvet, the stars brilliant against it. I felt like we were the only two people in the world.

That begged the question.

“Are we the only people in the world?” I whispered.

“If we were, why would you whisper?”

He had a point. “I don’t know. It’s rude to shout?”

“Well, are we?”

He turned to his side and pulled me closer. My body responded with a mind of its own and I arched against him. He cupped my head and lowered his mouth to mine. The kiss was so soft I might have imagined it. He lowered my head to my makeshift pillow and leaned back to look at the sky.

“Yes. Does that frighten you?”

Not really; at the moment it sounded like a good thing. There was no way to deny what my body wanted. At the first touch of his lips, my blood heated and my heart pounded in anticipation. I knew perfectly well he could feel my reaction to his kiss, but he was choosing to behave. I groaned and took a deep breath. I’m a terrible person. Geez, he could have me right now if he wanted to. All it would take was one more kiss, one more touch, one simple
word
from him.

No matter how many calming deep breaths I sucked in, I couldn’t deny the attraction I felt, and I wouldn’t lie to him, if he
asked
…probably, I shouldn’t volunteer this information. Sean’s face popped into my head. He seemed to scowl at me. Yes, it’s better if we don’t take this to another level. Unless of course we somehow get trapped in this dimension and have to repopulate the earth from scratch. Visually, that was an interesting thought. I could picture Killian lifting me up against a tree or in the pounding surf of the ocean intent on creating babies. Our bodies would move together, slamming with the rhythm of the tides. The hard muscle of his shoulders bunched as he held me in place, the ripple of movement across his abs...sea spray glistening over my breasts. My body warmed at the idea and I spent a minute playing that through inside my head. The surf could be very useful.

“You do know I can read your mind, right?” He leaned over me and looked into my eyes. His expression was a mix of amusement and pain.

Oh, shit. I was so busted. My face went up in flames.

“Still reading your mind,” he teased. “Would you like to finish your fantasy though? At this point, we’d both feel better.”

“You’re evil!” I snapped and stomped into the ruin.

Laughing incredulously, he said, “I’m the one with restraint here! Do you have any idea how much I want to throw you to the floor and yank those pants off of you?”

He was kidding, sort of, but a wave of dizziness washed over me at the word ‘yank.’ I stumbled and he steadied me. “I don’t need your help!” I said just as I tripped on another stone.

“Going to take care of yourself?” he whispered next to my ear.

“You have such a dirty mind! I knew it!”

He spun me around and said sternly, “And you, Princess, are having impure thoughts about your Primani.
That
is a punishable offense.” As he said the words, his hand traveled down my back to rest just inside my waistband. His fingers idly played with the fabric.

My heart thudded in my chest, and I clutched his shirt and pulled him closer. “What’s my punishment?”

He smiled wickedly and licked his lips. My mouth watered at the sight and I swallowed hard. Every nerve in my body tensed when he slowly dragged his fingers through my hair to expose my neck. Breathing unevenly, he rasped against my ear, “A spanking, of course.”

“You are such a jerk!” I glared at him from across the altar. “I can’t believe you did that!”

“Oh, come on, it didn’t hurt! It was just a tap.” He was grinning broadly at my outrage. He moved my direction.

Stepping to the other side, I said, “That’s not what I meant, and you know it!” I huffed and crossed my arms.

Brandishing an apple, he said, “I’ve got food. Come and sit down. You can’t sleep on the altar.” He actually shuddered at the thought.

“Oh, how appropriate, Satan, you brought an apple,” I said snidely.

He looked appalled. “Don’t speak that name in here! Are you crazy?” He knelt at the altar and murmured words and crossed himself.

He moved so fast I missed his intention. Before I could blink, he scooped me up and deposited us both on a heavy rug that must’ve come with the apple.

“Just sit, all right?” He held my hand and refused to release it even though I tugged on it. “No way. I’m keeping your hand for the moment.” I tugged harder and he smiled his feral grin.

“You keep pulling like that and it’ll come right off at the wrist.”

I gave in with bad grace. “Fine. What’s your point?”

“Babe, we’ve been through hell together. Haven’t we?” He squeezed my hand.

I nodded and relaxed my hand in his.

“We’ve known each other for four years now. In the beginning you were just another charge…and not even
my
charge. You were a pain in the ass, but you had
such
courage and strength. I didn’t want to like you, but I couldn’t help respecting you. You were a warrior in your own reckless, human way. Then you and Sean got together.” He paused and took a bite of the apple.

He absently stroked my fingers while he talked. His voice was compelling, and I leaned closer to him. “It wasn’t exactly forbidden, just very uncommon. We Primani don’t allow ourselves to feel anything other than responsibility towards our charges. But Sean…well, I don’t blame Sean. I never have.”  He smiled wolfishly and pointed at me with the apple. “I’ve always blamed you.”

I yanked my hand and nothing moved. “Me?”

“Yes, you! You’ve been different from the beginning. It took me a while to see it, but I’ve known for years now.” He paused and chewed another bite of apple.

“Aren’t you going to share that, Adam?” I joked with a real smile.

“Of course, here take a bite.” He held it to my mouth. I took a small bite and licked juice off my chin.

“So, you were saying how I’ve coerced Sean into falling in love with me? Do continue.”

He chuckled and continued, “No, babe, you haven’t done anything wrong. You never could. I’m trying to say you’re meant for Sean and he’s the key to you. We all know, and I mean
all
Primani, know there is the rare moment when a human becomes eternally entangled with an angel. This isn’t the first time, but it is really rare.
You
are really rare.” He sighed and paused to collect his thoughts.

He reached over and touched my cheek with the backs of his fingers. “You’ve shown me love,
real
love, and I will treasure your gift to me. Always.” His eyes grew distant and the silence stretched. 

“I love you. That hasn’t changed.” I kissed his knuckles and smiled a wobbly smile.

“You just want my body.”

“WE'LL HAVE TO LEAVE HERE SOON. The others will be angry with me as it is.” He offered me some water and stared over the waves. The gentle breeze ruffled his hair, and I thought he’d never been more relaxed.

I sighed wistfully. “Do we really have to go back? It’s so peaceful here. I feel better here.”

“It has a special magic of its own. You’re feeling better under its influence. It affects me too.”

“Really? How does it affect you? Do you feel happy here? You seem so relaxed.” That was a good thing.

“It’s a long story, but I’ll just say it recharges me in ways that my own
saol
could never do.” He reached over and drew me against him suddenly. I stumbled and fell into him. Standing this close, I was vividly aware of our feelings for each other and my arms curled around his neck.

Uncurling my fingers, he said wryly, “And
that
is another effect of the magic here.”

“You lost me.”

He grinned down at me and said, “Fuck it, one kiss won’t hurt.”

Before I could react, he kissed me with an intensity that made my head swim. His mouth claimed mine. There was no gentleness this time, no butterfly wings. He was a warrior and he took what he wanted. My body melted against him. I wanted him. I needed him. His power, his heat...There was
only
him. My mind whispered his name like a prayer. Killian, please…I tugged his shirt up and buried my hands underneath it. He was scalding hot but I was used to it. Whispering his name, I dragged his mouth back to mine. In one fluid movement, he set me down on the ground. Before I could blink, his body covered mine completely and I screamed in agony.

“Mica! Wake up! You’re dreaming!” Rough hands shook me awake. “Wake up!”

Shrieking, I thrashed away and stumbled to my feet. I had to get out of there. I bolted into the fading light.

The sky was dark when I finally stopped running. Huge sobs tore through my chest and I collapsed to my knees. Oh, my God. It’s not possible. It’s not possible. He’d never do that. Not Killian, not ever.

A hand touched my shoulder and I screamed and jumped up. It was Killian. Wasn’t it? His face swam in and out of focus. Of course, it was only him. We were alone here, weren’t we? Who else could it be? Shaking, I tried to breathe but I couldn’t get enough oxygen and my vision dimmed.

“Here, drink this.” He held a cup to my lips and poured a bitter liquid down my throat. It burned on the way down but I swallowed it.

What happened? Everything was a little fuzzy and I dug around my head for the memory of the last few hours. Vaguely, I recalled the demon and the dream. It seemed far away though and I had no fear of it. Bemused, I squinted into the room and noticed a fire near the altar. The bluish flames sent undulating shadows crawling over the crooked stone walls. They reminded me of ghosts drifting along a cemetery. It was beautiful and primal. Something about the fire called to me and I started to rise.

He laid a heavy hand on my bare shoulder and said, “Not yet.” His voice was strangely harsh. Familiar, yet strange, it had an underlying heaviness to it that I’d never heard before.

He moved purposefully to the altar where he had laid out things I’d never seen before. “What are you doing?”

My voice sounded strange too. It was like talking under water. I shook my head to clear my ears. My head felt heavy and I gave up trying to shake it. Instead, I gazed at Killian as he moved around.

He was focused entirely on what he was doing. Without looking at me, he said, “I’m preparing the altar. I have to hurry.”

With some ceremony, he carefully laid out two gleaming knives. There were identical in length and shape and had been carved with strange symbols. I thought they might be runes, but I couldn’t tell from where I sat. One had a round ruby in the haft while the other held a large blue stone.

Faintly, I said, “The color of your eyes…” I swayed on my feet but didn’t move. I seemed to be rooted in place.

He glanced up at me then and smiled tightly, “Exactly the color of my eyes.”

The room swam in and out of focus, but I wasn’t dizzy. My brain was working, but my senses were distorted. The walls wobbled and trembled. The blue flames slithered up the altar itself and I leaned towards the fire again.

What was in that cup?

It couldn’t be bad. This was Killian. He was my protector, my hero. I giggled at the thought of him being anybody’s hero. Okay, I was a little dizzy.

He loomed over me and announced, “It’s time.”

He lifted me up and carried me to altar. He laid me down with unusual gentleness. The stone was rough against my skin. I couldn’t remember taking off my clothes. The air vibrated and undulated with waves of energy. There was an odd humming sound coming from the ruby-handled knife. Killian stood over me, his expression impossible to read.

He looked into my eyes and stroked my cheek with the backs of his fingers. “I'm sorry,” he whispered.

His chest was bare except for a medallion around his neck. It was made from hammered gold and gleamed dully in the firelight. A single blue stone pulsed with light in the center. The fire bounced off of the gold and spread across the muscle of his chest. He was beautiful…

He chanted softly and picked up the blue-handled knife. Swiftly, he carved a rune onto his right hand. Blood welled from the cut and slowly leaked over his wrist. He picked up my left hand and quickly carved the same rune into it. I watched in fascination as the blood welled up. I hadn’t felt the blade.

“
Sgaine Dutre dia en saled.
”

He said the words while clasping his hand over mine. Our blood flowed together onto the altar. His voice rumbled with power as he spoke the ancient words. He held the knife in front of him as he commanded it to do his will. The blade reflected the firelight, but the blue stone pulsed to the rhythm of Killian’s heart, strong and powerful. I could hear the steady rhythm and feel its vibration against my chest. The weight of his heartbeat pressed against my skin even though we were inches apart. My own heart slowed to match his. His eyes were focused inward, not seeing me. Instead of blue fire, they were clear as the crystal blue of the stone. It was like looking into the ocean.

Leaning over me, he drew the knife across my forehead and down the center of my face in the shape of a cross. My face warmed at the touch. I felt my
saol
flow towards the cross. And still, the beating of Killian’s heart overwhelmed my senses. It was all I could hear and feel. My skin vibrated with it.

“
Sgaine Dutre a dios.
”

A sudden pain crushed my chest; my heart stuttered and skipped a beat. With delicate precision, Killian carved a small rune over my heart.

“
Sgaine Dutre a dios.
”

The stone blazed to life and lit his eyes. My heart stammered and stuttered. His heartbeat seemed very far away now. I couldn’t feel it in my chest. The wind screamed through the ruins like a living creature. My heart fluttered inside. With a quick movement, he turned me onto my stomach and gently smoothed my hair away from my eyes.

The tenor of his voice changed again. His authority was unmistakable. He picked up the ruby-handled knife and touched its tip to a place on my shoulder blade. It burned like a brand. Shocked back to awareness, I screamed and tried to jerk away, but I was completely frozen in place. His voice rose and fell with the words, but I was beyond understanding them now.

“
Diame a satinae et diamae
!”

“
Satinae et dios a cthuli
!”

He lowered the blade.

My back burst into flame.

The agony overwhelmed me and I curled within myself. I couldn’t escape the pain or the images. In my mind’s eye, I saw my back blazing with white fire. I smelled burning skin even as my mind tried to shut down. White flames licked my skin and smoke curled around us.

Killian’s voice echoed off of the stone walls, but I couldn’t hear the words over my own screams.

I was burning alive.

My pale golden
saol
was destroyed by the white-hot fire. It melted over the altar and the flames consumed me until I raised my hands to the sky and begged for death.

“Easy, baby,” a soft voice spoke in front of my face, “the pain will be gone in a minute.”

Blessedly cool water covered me. It lapped at me, tugging the pain away. Like a gentle waterfall, it washed over my body and then my hair and face. Warm fingers stroked my hair and dribbled sweet water over my cracked lips. I parted them and let the water flow through me. I don’t know how long I lay in the water, but I slowly became aware that I was alive.

“I’m not dead?” I asked the blackness around me.

An amused snort greeted me. “God, I hope not. I’m exhausted.”

I opened my eyes to see his clear blue ones staring into mine. It was then I realized he was cradling me in his arms, and we were standing in the ocean. That explains the waves and the water…

“Don’t tell me this is holy water?”

He shook with laughter. “Close enough.”

He shifted me in his arms and pressed me against him like he’d never done before. Saying nothing, he rubbed his hand down my wet spiky hair and rested his chin against the top of my head. There was a sense of desperation and relief in his gesture. Finally, he took a breath and asked, “Do you think you can move now?”

“I think so. Are you going to tell me what happened?”

“Can you keep a secret?”

“Cross my heart.”

I wanted to slip on my clothes, but they were still drying on a rock near the fire. After tonight, I had mixed feelings about lounging completely naked in front of Killian. But there weren’t many options. I had on wet panties to preserve some modesty but kept worrying about yeast infections. Noticing my frown, he finally took pity on me and loaned me his t-shirt. It came to the middle of my thighs so I took off the panties too.

“Come here to the light. I want to look at your back.” He pulled the shirt off of me and held the little bowl of light up. He was looking so closely I could feel his breath on my skin and the rough texture of his chin. I tried not to twitch. He was very quiet and then grunted with satisfaction.

“Well?”

“The demon’s marks are gone now.” He looked at me with sympathy. “He won’t be able to hurt you again.”

“What a toll I’m taking on your lifespan. You’ll have gray hair soon.” My hand shook as I reached for the shirt.

“You’ve no idea.” He took the shirt from me and slipped it over my head. When he was done, he pulled me down to sit on his lap.

“Would you like to hear a bedtime story, little girl? It’s about a princess and her knight.”

The demon had marked my back while I was unconscious in the underground room. The guys hadn’t seen all of the symbols because I had been whipped as well. The bloody crisscrossed scabs had hidden some of the marks. These symbols gave him access to my head. He could reach into my thoughts or to my dreams. With time, he could twist my thoughts or force me to jump off a cliff. Luckily, he hadn’t had time to play too much since Killian brought me here so abruptly. That explains why the guys were so horrified when they saw my bare back.

The beatings were bad enough, but to mark a human with these demonic symbols was the height of evil. To do this and be discovered meant death when the Primani caught up with you. It was an abomination against God himself. This was one of the reasons Killian brought me here. The magic was stronger than in our plane. Here, there was nothing but ancient magic and Killian. His magic was greater than other Primani because he had been a high priest in his own right well before he was chosen to become Primani. This had been his temple. It still served him well. No one could come here without him, and I was one of a very select few.

I studied him with clear eyes and knew I had to ask the question even though I knew the answer. “If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?”

“If I know the truth.”

I paused to find the right words. “Were you explaining the magic of this place to me by the ocean earlier today?”

He scratched his cheek and answered, “I started to but you fell asleep in the sun. We didn’t finish talking.”

Oh, thank God! It was just a dream after all. I knew it wasn’t him.

“No secrets, remember?”

I sucked in a deep breath and blurted out, “Did you say ‘Fuck it, one kiss won’t hurt’ and then throw me down on the ground and rape me with a grotesquely huge and freezing cold you-know-what until my insides fell out?”

His mouth dropped open and he stared at me. After endless seconds, he said, “That explains the screaming. It’s a good thing we don’t have neighbors here. Someone would’ve called the cops.” He tried to smile, but his face fell instead.

It was my turn to comfort him, I guess. He was torn between horror for me and mind-blowing fury at the demon. He alternately wanted to hold me like a kitten or dump me back in the penthouse and tear off on a demon-killing streak the world had never seen. While ranting some interesting curse words, he paced back and forth and occasionally blew up a piece of pottery with his hands.