The Lost Soul Trilogy (Primani Book 5) (102 page)

“Merry Christmas, ma’am,” he murmured before turning back to me.

“No way! You said ‘Merry Christmas’ to her? Since when do you acknowledge Christmas?” For as long as I’d known him, in this life, Christmas was no biggie. He’d always laughed at my human traditions.

He laughed and said, “You’ve corrupted me with all your nauseating niceness. I’m a changed man. I can be nice once in a while. It doesn’t hurt as much as it used to.”

I leaned up and kissed him quickly. “I always liked that tough guy version of you though. Hard, tough, unemotional…scary as hell...but so hot. Don’t change
too
much!”

Killian scowled ferociously and I laughed. “Perfect!”

He scowled some more and growled softly, “Oh, don’t worry. You’d be surprised how fast I can go from polite to deadly.”

Soldier-mode.

My blood pumped a little harder at the image of him in full soldier-mode--Instincts, powers, and body on full alert and at their strongest. Eyes blazing, skin burning hot, muscles taut and ready to fight, adrenaline surging…ready to destroy the enemy. A smart part of me advised caution. Don’t play with fire. Buuutttt…these physical changes always made me a little excited. It was wicked sexy even if freaking scary. Even though it freaked me out when the Primani were that far gone, I’ve always been curious about sex. Would all that power and tension make for mind-blowing sex? Could they channel it well enough for pleasure or would it just be mindless violence? Vividly imagining Killian’s naked body hard and hot, powerful and surging with energy, I pressed my thighs together and swallowed a little drool. Probably this was a really, really bad train of thought in the grocery store.

Squirrel?
His amused sarcasm was loud and clear inside my head.
Shiny ball?

Oh, shut up!

“Ma’am? Ma’am?”

Killian nudged me and I flushed at the cashier. Skinny, blond, and under 21, he just shook his head like I was annoying him and asked if I had my own bags. Killian was still laughing at me on the way home.

“You can’t keep your mind on anything today! Since when are you this ADHD?”

“I know, right? It’s making me mental! My brain’s got too much time on its hands. I’m going in a thousand directions!”

He relaxed at the wheel and slowed for a stop sign. Traffic was piled up everywhere. Guess we weren’t the only people out running around. It was beyond weird to be shopping with Killian. It was soooo, well, mundane. Killing demons? Yes. Picking out meat? Not so much. Would he change diapers too? Any second now I was going to wake up and be tied to a pole in some demon’s basement…

As soon as we pulled into the garage, Dec bounded down the steps to help. After whisking in the bags, he held up a bottle of little red balls and smiled happily over at me.

“You’re making the little cutout angels? The ones with the cinnamon eyes?” His eyes twinkled in expectation.

“For you, my angel? Anything. Anything you want. Want to help me?” I sat out two packages of butter to warm up. He loved the simple sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles. I always used the little red cinnamon candies for eyes. Mixed with the buttery cookie and vanilla frosting...yum, they were like crack!

Sean strolled in and leaned against the doorframe with Domino leaning against his leg. She’d been glued to him since he got back. He looked healthy again but the crease between his eyes was showing. Probably he was plotting his next move with Jordan.

Just as I was going to say something, a twinge grabbed my attention and I stopped and put my hand over my lower belly. “Oh!”

Dec and Sean glanced down without concern, but Killian came straight over and dropped to his knees in front of me. His eyes were grave and he shushed everyone while he listened.

He scooped me into his arms and kissed my very surprised open mouth. Spinning me in a circle, he grinned at me and said, “It’s official! You’re pregnant, wife!”

I had no words so I just grinned like an idiot.

“Pregnant?” Dec croaked.

“You got married?” Sean asked, with what-the-hell written all over his face.

Neither was smiling. They looked really confused. We
had
just gone to the store. When had we squeezed in a wedding?

Killian spun me in a circle and set me back on my feet. After making sure I was steady, he turned to the guys and grinned. “It’s a long, long story.”

Sean crossed his arms and scowled. “I have tons of time.”

Domino cocked her head.
Do we have popped corn?

“Fair enough. Grab a beer.” Killian headed to the couch and patted the cushion next to him. “You want to sit, babe?”

I pulled my knees against my chest and marveled at the teensy little zygote hanging on inside my uterus. I hoped he had a strong grip.

Sean and Dec hadn’t seen the same vision we had the other night. They heard Michael and knew we had a history, a destiny, together. But now they’d hear the whole story and maybe it would help. Sean would finally understand the forces that drove us apart and the depth of Killian’s sacrifice for him. I prayed he’d recognize the sacrifice and let go of any bitterness that he still felt. I just wanted Sean to be happy and that meant he had to know the whole truth.

Killian was actually a good storyteller and had everybody’s undivided attention. He started at the beginning and explained how we’d been married before he’d become Primani. How he’d gone from priest to warrior in the blink of an eye. In a quiet voice, he recounted the night I died and Raphael’s promise to find me again.

As he talked, he rubbed his finger over the simple gold ring he’d worn since I’d met him, again, when I was only 17. That was more than five years ago and my world had changed into a totally new planet. Nothing was the same now. His eyes closed as he talked about the stretching of years, the feeling of time slipping by without him. His strong voice was soft in remembrance and the faint Irish lilt was enthralling. I squeezed his fingers and he smiled vaguely in my direction.

“I’ve worn this ring since the day you put it on my finger. There’s never been anyone else for me.”

The silence stretched for a couple of heartbeats.

Dec had been toying with his Primani blade and was totally lost in thought now. He passed the silver blade from one hand to the other as he processed Killian’s story.

Our story.

“When did you know it was her?” Sean asked in a voice edgy with strain.

Killian said, “I didn’t realize it until after I put the runes on her in the temple. The ceremony must’ve triggered the memories and I recognized her. I couldn’t believe it though. I’d waited so long and she shows up as your girlfriend. It seemed like a bad joke.”

“But you still erased her memory so she’d forget you? Why would you do that?” Sean was pacing now, his voice thick with emotion, eyes glittering.

Killian shrugged and said, “It was the right thing to do--for both of you. She’d already fallen in love with you. She had no idea what had happened between us. You were crazy about her. I didn’t want to hurt either of you. I tried to stay away. I figured things would work out or they wouldn’t.”

His hand tightened over mine and he held Sean’s eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, bro; that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Letting her go and waiting for free will to do its thing nearly killed me. I had to vaporize a lot of demons to keep my sanity. I wanted to rip your head off and kill you every time you touched her. I stayed away as much as I could and kept telling myself it would work out in the end.”

Dec had been unusually subdued and now he gestured to Killian and smirked, “That explains your crabbier than usual mood.”

I had to add, “I thought that was his normal mood?”

Dec laughed and Sean smothered a smile. Killian just crossed his arms and said to me, “And you should be glad things worked out. It was pretty dicey for a minute.”

Dicey was an understatement. Things went to hell so fast it made my head spin. We were pretty lucky I was even alive today! Still, James helped things along with his big dramatic reveal. That surely split Sean and I into two parts. Thanks to James, I ended up where I was supposed to be. Still not going to thank the bastard, though.

“And they worked out exactly like they were supposed to. Destiny is a selfish bitch.” Sean laughed with a tinge of sadness and added, “I can’t even be mad about this.”

I rubbed my belly and scoffed, “Oh, I’m sure you could if you tried real hard.”

“Oh, ha. ha. Good thing you’re pregnant or I’d take you to the mats and break your leg!” Sean leaned over me and said, “May I?”

I nodded, curious.

He kissed my stomach and murmured a prayer in their Primani tongue. He smiled up at me. “I’m really happy for you, sweetheart. Obviously this is meant to be. This little dude is going to be safe. It’s even more important that I kill you off now.”

Dec hooted with laughter. “Wow, dude, really?”

Later that day, I sprawled across the couch, content and tired. I was seriously considering a power nap. Dozens of cookies were iced and hanging out in the kitchen. Dec and Killian had disappeared again. No doubt up to something that I wasn’t supposed to know about. Sean leaned back in the recliner and closed his eyes. He wasn’t asleep though. I felt the waves of his emotions gently flowing away from his still body.

“Sean? What’s the matter?”

Without opening his eyes, he grunted, “Nothing.”

“Liar.”

Cracking open an eye, he sighed in annoyance. “You can’t help it, can you?”

If he meant reading his emotions and being nosy…well, duh. No, I couldn’t.

“Hello? Empath here! You can’t hide from me.” As much as I wished he could.

“Don’t get your panties in a wad. I’m just thinking about Aisling. We need to find her.”

“What will you do when we do?”

He made a frustrated sound and exhaled through his nose. “I have no idea. But at least she’ll be able to get on with her life. It’s the least I can do for her.”

“We’ll find her. When you leave, I don’t want you to think about me or Aisling. Promise me you’ll focus completely on your mission.”

He opened his eyes and stared at me for a second. The blue was dark and stormy today. A sure sign he was feeling stirred up inside. Intense and beautifully made, his handsome face couldn’t detract from the power in his body or the hatred boiling inside with Jordan’s name on it. Unleashed, Sean was a lethal weapon.

I almost felt sorry for Jordan. Almost.

“It’s not a suicide mission, love. This isn’t the first time I’ve been undercover. I can handle it. Shit, this’ll be a piece of cake. I’ll be in and out before you know it. With any luck, I’ll find Dani and
Sgaine Dutre
and rip Jordan’s throat out in 24 hours!”

Yeah, yeah, yeah…the best laid plans, etc., etc.

Snorting my doubt, I let it go. He was right. He’d done this before and my opinion didn’t matter when it came to their ops anyway. This was what he did; what they all did. Just because I was feeling all flush with joy didn’t change the reality of our lives.

The sound of the garage door clambering down brought us both awake. Blinking in the dim light of late afternoon, I yawned hugely and pushed myself upright. Sean was completely alert and listening hard. It must be friendlies since he immediately relaxed and stretched. Domino perked up her ears and stretched her front legs out in front. Tucking her chin between her paws, she closed her eyes again.

As soon as the back door closed, Domino shot off of Sean’s lap with a loud fart. Sean jumped up and moved before the fumes could settle. Dec rounded the corner and tossed her a stuffed Dalmatian puppy. Bounding after it, she made a lap or two around the room before bringing it back and dropping it at his feet. He knelt and gave her a hug.

“Merry Christmas, pup! You’ve been good all year!” He rubbed her ears and threw the toy again.

Mine! Mine!
She took off again.

Christmas was finally here and the wet English weather turned cold with snow. Killian had gotten up earlier and started a fire in the living room but the rest of the house was still numbing. The bedrooms were especially cool since we only had radiators for heat and I kept forgetting to turn them on. Freezing my butt off, I shrugged under my cashmere wrap and tugged on socks. Socks were totally ruining my classy approach to dressing this morning. But it was either wear them or lose some toes.

Call me crazy, but I had a thing for my toes--All ten of them.

Straightening, I pirouetted in front of the mirror. My wardrobe was pretty limited but I managed to put together something Christmassy. The jeans from Paris were dark and fit perfectly. A loose silk top dipped low in the front without letting the girls hang out. It was a gorgeous sapphire blue with tiny rhinestone buttons. My locket nestled happily below the neckline and warmed my skin. My hair had grown out so much it flowed down my back in waves. I’d had my bangs trimmed so they curled under and around my face. My skin glowed. My eyes sparkled.

Was it possible to be this happy? I was delirious with it. For years I’d been restless and driven, always moving forward. Now I knew why. I’d been looking for my time; looking for Killian. The restlessness was gone. It was like opening the door to a house and knowing it’s your home. I held up my hand and looked at the pale rune. Just the sight of it started my heart racing a little bit faster. Killian’s face filled my mind and I felt myself leaning towards him. Our connection tugged me to his side even when he was gone for a little while. Something inside of him compelled me, drew me still. Should that bother me? Should I worry about losing myself?