The Loss (Heartache series #1) (13 page)

We don’t finish our pizza. He quickly manages to put it away in the fridge and then grabs my waist, lifting me up, and over his shoulder. I laugh, my tears forgotten, as he takes me into the bedroom and all the soreness I’ve had all day doesn’t matter as we make love, our passion overtaking all of our pain.

Chapter 13

“But…. Why can’t you tell me where we are going,” she whines again and stomps her small foot. Damn, she’s fucking cute and all mine.

“Baby, if I told you then it wouldn’t be much of a surprise,” I smirk and wink. She huffs, crossing her arms under her breasts, which raises them, causing her cleavage to increase. Dammit! We have no time!

“Okay, but you know I hate surprises. I mean, really, what’s the big deal anyway? You’re acting like a kid at Christmas.” I just give her a smile and wink at her. I can tell she’s getting infuriated with me, but it’s all good. She won’t be for long.

I pull my backpack around my shoulders and then reach down to take her hand. “Come on.” I lead her out the front door and turn around, locking it, then we walk down the steps. As we walk towards my truck, I veer around it and see her look at me from the corner of my eye. Her head tilts as her nose scrunches then she huffs again. Fucking adorable. I start down the rocky path and then stop abruptly, her hand pulling mine.

“What did we stop for? Please don’t tell me this is it.”

I grab my backpack, pulling it off me, and then smile. “Come here, Kitten.” Confusion is riddling her face. I chuckle then pull on her hand until she’s in front of me. I pull her around to my back and release it, bending down. “Get on.”

“What?”

I turn my head and smirk. “It’s too far for you to walk on that ankle and there’s some rough terrain. Get on.” She looks like she’s pondering my request but then smiles and hops onto my back. Memories overtake me to another time, another place. So many times we did this, horsing around at the playground up the street, on the school parking lot on our way to my car and even when we were out at Wacko Taco’s drive-in parking lot. So much past we share. Most good memories.

Standing up, I put my hands underneath her legs and pull her up, making sure I have a good hold on her, my backpack strap around my arm. She giggles. I forgot about her ticklish spot under her leg. I smile to myself as I begin walking. It takes me quite a while to get through the rocky path, when I hear her gasps as she looks around at the tree filled area. My foot slips a couple of times on some uneven ground covered with jagged rocks, but I catch myself and grasp her legs tighter. I know we’re getting close to the clearing, so I stop and release my hold on her. She grabs my shoulders and then slides down my back. I can feel her breasts as she moves, and my cock hardens instantly.

“What are we stopping for? Are you okay? Am I too heavy?” I turn around, the look on her face telling me that that asshole must remind her constantly of her weight when she’s perfect the way she is. Actually, she could stand to add on a few pounds.

“First of all, you’re not heavy. Second, I’m fine,” I let out another chuckle. “Third, we’re almost there and I want to do something.”

Her brows raise as her arms wrap around her waist, lifting up her girls again and my cock twitches. Shit! I wish she’d stop that, but I guess no matter what she does my cock notices. “Just what do you have in mind?” Damn her! There it goes again.

I take the few steps to her and walk around her, to get up close. I grab my backpack, putting my arms through it and sling it behind me. I put my arms around her and start to put my hands close to her eyes. She grabs them firm. “Wait! What are you doing?”

I lean down close to her ear and whisper, “Trust me.” Her head turns and her eyes look into mine then she nods and turns back to face forward. I cover her eyes with the palms of my hands and smile. “Now, I’m going to guide you but we don’t have too far to go. Just make sure you can’t see or you’ll ruin the surprise. Okay?” She nods again. “Good girl.”

I push up against her, and she starts to walk. Feeling unsure of herself, she takes ahold of my arms and walks slowly. “I’ve gotchya.” We keep walking, and I have to steady her a couple of times. Finally, I see the clearing through the edge of the trees. We make it to the edge and the perfect spot for her to take in the entire view. I bend down next to her ear again and feel her body shiver when I speak. “Ready?”

I watch her swallow and nod slightly. “Yes,” she whispers hoarsely.

“Okay. Get ready for something amazing,” I whisper against her ear and her body quivers. I’m starting to wonder just what she thinks this is gonna be. My mind suddenly flashes to a whole different concept, and I have to shake myself out of it. “Surprise.” Slowly, I uncover her eyes, and I watch her blink a few times then gasp. Her eyes are wide as she turns her head, spanning the area.

“Beautiful,” she says in awe.

“Certainly is,” I whisper.

She turns her head, seeing me staring straight at her and she smiles. “I was talking about the scenery.” Her smile broadens as I cock my eyebrow and smile.

“I know. So am I.”

A light pink blush moves across her face. Even more beautiful. I take her hand, squeezing it tight. “Come on.” Her smile is intact as I lead her into the clearing and towards the pond. When we get close to the side of the water, near the waterfall, I let go of her hand and remove my backpack and squat down. Opening the zipper, I pull out a blanket and stand up, laying it out on the grass and look over at her. The breeze is blowing her hair back as she gazes at the waterfall. “Alena, you can sit down. I brought a picnic.” Her head turns, her hand grabbing some wayward hair, pulling it back from her face, and I swear her smile hasn’t left her since I uncovered her eyes.

She walks over and sits down, crossing her legs, and continues to look into my eyes. “You’ve thought of everything. This is really gorgeous, Jase. How did you find it?”

I lower my head and start taking the food out of my bag. “When I went for my run yesterday. I thought I was going too far when I saw the opening in the tree line so I kept going and stumbled upon this.” I look up and tilt my head, watching her look out at the view. “I knew you’d love it so I formed a plan.”

She looks over at me and then down at the food I laid out. “So resourceful, Mr. Briggs.” She reaches down and grabs a grape, popping it in her mouth and smiles as she chews.

I grab a handful of grapes and start popping them in my mouth. “I thought we could even go swimming.” Her brows raise and then her face softens. “Look. I know you’ve been going bat shit crazy cooped up in the cabin so I thought you’d like to get out and this place is secluded.”

“It’s beautiful. I’m so glad you found it.” She turns her head, looking around, and then at the waterfall. “How can something be so beautiful when so much ugly moves around you?” She sighs. “I’ve made quite a mess of my life. I’m not proud of it. How do I make it right?”

I reach over and take her hand. She turns to me with such sadness in her eyes. “You did what you had to do for you. Quit beating yourself up. It’ll all work out. I’m gonna make sure of it.” I release her hand and cup her face, rubbing my thumb across her soft skin. “I’m not ever letting you go again, Alena. Count on that.” She leans in, and our mouths collide. My hand moves up to the side of her head, my fingers threading into her hair as my tongue delves into her mouth. No more beating myself up for missing out on the years we could have had together. Now’s the time to make her safe and to be together. Forever.

We break our kiss and just sit there staring into each other’s eyes. She smiles. “Okay. No more sadness. What’s done is done. Let’s move forward. So I was thinking….”

My curiosity is definitely piqued as I lean back and wait. “Should I be nervous?”

She laughs. Sweetest sound. “No. Well, I don’t think so.” She acts shy. So cute. “I was just thinking that after this is over….” She starts picking fuzz on the blanket. “I can do my graphic designing anywhere and I don’t want to live at my parents,” her eyes move up to mine, “but I don’t think we should live together either.” My face falls along with my heart. I had thought after everything was settled, she’d just move in with me at my house. “It’s not that I don’t want to but I think I need some time to be myself, ya know? Get my life back in order and get back to how I used to be before…. Well, before all this happened. I hope you understand.” I look down, pressing my lips together and think. “I’m sorry. I’ve hurt you again.”

My head snaps up, and I see the worry in her eyes. “No. Well, not exactly. I guess I just figured since we’re together now you would move in with me. That was presumptuous of me. My fault. You could never hurt me, Alena. I only hurt myself.” She moves, crawling over the blanket and shocks the shit outta me by crawling into my lap. Of course my arms can’t wait to hold her as she lays her head on my shoulder. Her eyes looks up at me from underneath her long lashes.

“I had a feeling you did and I would love that too but…. As I said, I need some girl time. Have a place where I can be alone when I need to, for now. I need to find my old self, get back to my roots, but I need you too. Does that makes sense?” Her eyes are pleading but I get it. How could I not? I’ve known her almost better than she does, at times. Always have.

I brush back some fallen hair and leave my hand on the side of her face. “Al. You do what you have to do but know…. I’ll always be here for you. You want dating? I can do that. I’ll fucking rock you off your feet. You want some alone time? That will be hard for me because I want to spend every waking second with you, but I’ll give it to you. You want to find yourself? Baby, you’ve never really been lost, but I get it.” Her head lifts and she smiles. Unshed tears fill her eyes. Her mouth crashes to mine, and I know we’re okay.

“AHHHHHH! It’s co….cooo….cold!” She screams as she jumps in the water.

We spent an hour talking about our lives. Our pasts and our future, nothing about our present. The sun beat down on us, giving her a warm and healthy glow. I don’t think she could be more beautiful, but I think that every time I see her. After feeling the sun’s burn for too long we decided to go swimming. She’s in her bra and panties and me in my boxers; makeshift bathing suits. I wanted to go naked but she just laughed and smacked my arm. What? It’s not like we haven’t seen each other naked and there’s no one around. But I gave in to her shy charm. Face it, I’d give her anything.

“I told you it would be but it feels good, huh?” I smile, watching her swim over to me. She hooks her legs around me, and I have no problem grabbing her firm butt with my hands. “So, do you really think it’s wise to go into town with me tomorrow? I mean, I don’t think you should be seen. I really don’t think it’s a good idea.” She had told me she wanted to go with me tomorrow, to pick up a few things and just to have a change of scenery. She said she’d wear my baseball cap and her sunglasses, and that I worry too much. Personally, I don’t think I worry enough where she’s concerned.

She pecks my lips and smiles. “Yes! Please? Quit worrying. It’s been a week and a half and I’ve stayed out of sight. I really want to go with you, sit down at the café and have some of their famous chili fries that I love and I want to use your prepaid phone to call Mom. I promise I won’t stay on long. She has to be so worried and I hate that. Please?” God! She can get me with a fucking look.

Shaking my head, I look into her eager eyes and let out a huge sigh. “Okay, but know, I don’t think you should. I only need a few things. We can eat, however, I do not want to be in town for long, got me?” She nods quickly, and her smile takes my breath away. “I still think it’s too risky.”

Her legs unlock from behind me, and she pushes them back behind her as her arms weave around my neck, then she starts pushing me back in the water. “I’ll be careful. I promise.” Her lips press against mine as we move backwards. Streams of water start hitting the top of my head, cascading down me, as we continue to kiss, our tongues intertwined, and we keep moving back. I open my eyes a slit and see we’re under the waterfall. Placing my hands on her slim waist, I pull her closer and her legs lock behind me again.

Her lips leave mine as we move out of the streaming water and behind the waterfall. It’s cooler in here, but we’re very well hidden. We sink beneath the water again, our lips still locked, and swim around, finally coming up for air. “I love you, Jase. So much,” she speaks quietly and is muffled by the loudness of the water, but I heard her loud and clear.

“God. I love you so much, Alena.” I capture her mouth again as we float around, below the surface, and suddenly, I notice everything is darker around us. “What the fuck?” She leaves my lap, and I reach out and grab her arm. “Alena, no.”

“It’s okay, Jase. It’s a hidden cave. Great hiding place.” I release her arm with severe reluctance but watch as she pats around on the rock walls. “It’s actually quite beautiful here, peaceful.” She looks up, around and then back at me. “There’s just enough light to be able to see.” Her hand rubs against the dark gray rock and smiles. “This is amazing. Come. Feel.”

I swim over to her, put my arm around her waist and reach up with my other hand, palm down on the rock. “Shit! That’s cool. It looks rough but feels smooth.” Turning my head, my eyes widen. “Look! A flat ledge. Come here.” I take her hand and we swim over to the big flat rock, and I take both hands, grabbing her waist and hoist her up then push myself up on it as well. “It’s not a big area but if needed someone could hide out here for quite a while.” She stands on the big rock, bending down from the low rock ceiling and walks slowly behind us into the darkness. “Don’t go far, Alena!” I yell. She doesn’t answer so I get up and make my way back there, hearing more sounds of running water.

“Jase!” she screams and I start to run, being careful of the low ceiling until I reach an opening and can stand up straight. I stop dead in my tracks at the sight.

Not too far ahead is a steady stream of water, cascading down the same type of rock and into a very small hole. There’s more space here and really beautiful. The gray of the rock turns lighter, almost a blue color, from a small crack above shining down on parts that there’s no water. It’s actually glimmering.

“I’m gonna get more supplies than I thought tomorrow. We’re gonna stock this place up, just in case we need it.”

“This is so beautiful. I love it,” she says smiling.

“Come on,” I say, holding my hand out. “Let’s get back. We have a long way to walk and it’ll be getting dark soon.” She nods and takes my hand, and we start our way back.

♥    ♥    ♥    ♥

He carried me all the way on his back through the tree filled area, even though I insisted I could walk. He said, “Nice try and maybe next time,” so I didn’t argue. After eating a light dinner, vegging on the couch and watching a movie, we’re now in bed. We didn’t make love tonight because I’m exhausted, and I know he’s tired too. Now, I can’t go to sleep. I guess I’m too excited about going into town tomorrow and more importantly, talking to Mom. She has to be beside herself with worry. I’m laying here on my side, looking at Jase’s face while he sleeps. He looks so much younger, relaxed and not stressed. His chest moves slowly up and down and I can hear his light breathing. He’s shirtless, the sheet riding low on his waist, and I can’t take my eyes off him. His arms are large with muscles, his skin unblemished, and I know how soft it is. His square jaw is firm, like the rest of him. His well-defined abs make me lick my lips. He could be a statue, one that everyone would pay money to see. Now, with a darker tan, he looks like a Greek God. I sigh, trying to be quiet, and roll over onto my back, closing my eyes, and hoping sleep will take me.

“Baby. Wake up. We have to go.”

My eyes open slowly, my body exhausted and feeling like I just went to sleep. Suddenly, I remember we’re going into town and spring up. “Do I have time for a shower?”

He laughs. “Yes. We actually have a little time. I just thought that would get you up quicker.”

“Jerk!” I play smack his arm, throw the covers from me and stand while he continues to laugh at me. He walks out of the room, still laughing, as I make my way to the bathroom. The shower helped wake me up, but I’m in need of coffee. I throw on a tank top, jeans and his hoodie then grab socks and my tennis shoes and walk out into the living room. The smell of coffee invades me, and I sigh. “You always know just want I need and when I need it,” I giggle as I walk over to the table and sit down.

“Are you kidding? I needed my fix so I knew you would need yours too.” He walks over and sets down a mug of steaming coffee then the small bowl filled with French vanilla creamer and the shaker of sugar. “And I know what you like.” I look up, and a burst of laughter leaves me when I see him standing there waggling his eyebrows. “I’m gonna go load up the truck. Don’t hurry,” he says as he bends down and kisses my forehead. I pick up my cup, taking a much needed sip, and watch him grab his backpack and walk out the door. Emotions fill me, but I don’t feel overwhelmed. I feel relaxed, relieved and loved.

Once I’m buckled into his truck, he sets off for town. I’m excited to be away from the cabin for a little bit, watching the scenery fly by. When I turn towards him, my smile’s plastered on my face, and he’s staring at me with his own gorgeous smile. We ride along, the music blaring and the windows down. I feel free even though I know I shouldn’t. This isn’t over, I can feel it. But right now, in this moment, I’m free and loving it.

The town is small, like really small. One street, few people walking around and only one store and one diner. It’ll do. He parks in front of the diner, and we get out and go in. We walk to the back and sit down at a table quickly. I pull Jase’s cap down over my eyes as the waitress walks over and hands us menus. Breakfast was amazing. I have to say being out in public was a little nerve wracking, but I really enjoyed being away from the cabin for a bit. We walked across the street to the grocery store, and I helped pick out some things. Five full bags later, Jase puts them in the back of the truck, hands me his prepaid phone and said he’d give me some privacy. I watched him walk to the sidewalk and stand by the store, not wanting me to be out of his sight.