The Legendary Playboy Surgeon (8 page)

‘A terrible mistake almost happened today. A corner could have been turned that would have changed a great many lives but most of all Estelle’s.’

Kate wasn’t looking at him now. Her head was bowed.

‘You saved more than Estelle’s leg today,’ Connor told her softly. ‘You saved her dreams and they’re what make life worth living, aren’t they?’

* * *

Kate couldn’t answer.

Connor’s words had slipped into a place they shouldn’t have been allowed to enter. The sentiment they expressed was touching a place so deep and so raw it felt as if it was bleeding despite the touch being so gentle.

He had a wisdom she had not expected.

And a depth of caring for a single patient that blew her away.

Kate knew all about those corners in life. Obviously, Connor did too. What turning points had he been forced to follow in his life? Was he trying to find his way back? She certainly wasn’t but if none of it had ever happened, what would her life be like now?

How would she feel if she’d an upbringing like Bella’s, for instance, and was now sitting here with Connor Matthews?

She’d feel full of hope. She would know that she was on the verge of falling in love with a very special man.

She would have dreams for her future that were nothing like any dreams she currently held.

There would be a very big corner to turn in her life that she would take with joy and the absolute conviction that it was the best possible direction to take.

But there was no such corner in the road map of Kate’s life. Or, if there was, it was blocked by a barrier she had no idea how to negotiate.

And that was indescribably sad.

Sad enough to give her a tightness in her chest that squeezed and squeezed until it rose up into her throat and past the back of her nose to reach her eyes. Tight enough to squeeze a single tear from each of her eyes.

Unbelievable.

Kate hadn’t cried since she was fifteen years old.

‘We’d better go,’ she heard Connor say. ‘Let’s get off this hill before it’s too dark to see anything.’

Kate nodded, surreptitiously wiping those errant drops of moisture away before following Connor’s example and scrambling to her feet. She was glad it was getting dark so quickly now. At least Connor couldn’t possibly see that she’d been crying.

‘Ready?’ Connor held out his hand to help her over some small rocks to get to the smoother surface of the track. Without thinking, Kate accepted the offer.

‘I’m ready,’ she agreed. ‘Let’s go.’

A tiny catch in her voice made Connor stop.

He was still holding her hand and he was standing with his back to sea. The last rays of the sun before it dipped below the horizon were doing their best to outshine and out-
colour anything that had gone before. The light was so bright behind him that he was probably no more than a dark blob for Kate but he could see her face with the utmost clarity. He could see the tangle of her dark lashes where moisture still clung.

Good grief...she’d been
crying
?

The woman who was so tightly walled off from the world around her that she’d earned the reputation of being an ice queen had been moved to tears. By what? Estelle’s story?

A reminder of some trauma in her own past?

It didn’t matter. Connor knew he was seeing the real person here. The Kate who could dance like a dream. Who could care enough to cry. He also knew that he was seeing something that very few—if any—other people got to see.

A tight feeling in his chest expanded so suddenly it seemed to explode with a curious mix of warmth and...longing.

For what, Connor didn’t know. What he did know was that he had to pull Kate closer. He heard himself sigh as he did so. A sound of surrender that ended in the whisper of
her name.

And then he kissed her.

CHAPTER SIX

T
HE
feeling of falling reached an unbearable intensity.

Maybe it was the glow of the glorious sunset. Or perhaps the emotions that Connor’s words had stirred up. Whatever the cause was, there was no way of catching herself in time and, for a few memorable seconds when his lips touched hers, Kate simply let herself go.

She fell into the softness of his lips and the warmth of his body as he drew her close. The knot of longing deep in her belly spiralled into a white-hot glow. Kate felt her lips parting beneath Connor’s but it was in that split second before his tongue touched hers that she realised just how far out of control this was.

With a gasp, she put her hands on Connor’s chest and pushed herself away.

They stood there, staring at each other.

‘We—we need to go,’ Kate stammered. ‘It’s really getting dark now.’

‘Hmm.’ Connor licked his lips and Kate felt an odd melting sensation in the core of her body but he didn’t say anything else. He reached for her hand again and this time they reached the track.

He held her hand until they came to a narrow section of steps where they needed to go in single file and by the time they reached the sand they were walking side by side, the same way they had done when they had arrived.

They still hadn’t said anything. That kiss hung between them. An invitation or a solid wall?

Something had to be said. How could Kate climb onto the back of that bike and hang onto Connor for as long as it would take for him to deliver her back home if she had to wonder whether he saw this as the start of a relationship? If he was taking it for granted that it would follow the usual path and she would be panting to get into his bed in no time flat, like she could imagine any other woman he dated would be?

What if it got that far and he ended up being...disappointed? Disgusted, even?

Kate didn’t want that to happen. There was something between them that had become so much bigger this evening. Something that was too precious to risk.

She opened her mouth. ‘I’m not looking for a relationship, Connor.’

‘OK.’

Oh, God... Was that
relief
in his tone?

For some reason that hurt rather a lot.

‘I’d like us to be friends, though,’ she added. ‘If that’s possible.’

‘Anything’s possible,’ Connor said, sounding neutral now. They reached the spot where he’d parked the bike and he handed Kate her helmet. In the deepening twilight she saw the gleam of teeth as he smiled.

‘I like you, Kate,’ he said. His smile widened. ‘I’m not sure exactly why but you...’ His voice faded, giving his last words a sincerity that took Kate’s breath away. ‘You’re...special. You surprise me.’

Kate had to swallow a small but very unexpected lump in her throat. ‘You surprise me, too.’

‘Do I?’ Connor zipped up his jacket. ‘How’s that?’

‘Well...I expected you to rake me over the coals over what happened today. You had—you still have—every right to.’

Connor shrugged. ‘I suspect you’ve been doing that to yourself.’

Kate bit her lip. ‘What
are
you going to do about it?’

‘What would you do?’

‘Probably take the matter to a disciplinary committee,’ Kate admitted.

Connor rammed his helmet onto his head and lowered the visor. He looked far more menacing now. Big and dark and...threatening.

‘There’s another way of looking at it,’ he suggested.

‘Which is?’

‘It could be a good platform to use to make a case for getting that mini pathology lab set up in the theatre suite as soon as possible. We’ve been trying to get it established for years and the powers-that-be keep stalling. What happened today could be seen as being more about the way the whole system is failing its patients than trying to make it the fault of an individual. I’m not saying that your registrar doesn’t need a bit of up-skilling but it would be good to see something positive come out of it, wouldn’t it?’

‘Oh...yes...’ How many times was her breath going to be stolen tonight? First by the depth of involvement and caring this man had for his patients and then by that kiss and now by the way he could not only let go of an entirely justifiable anger but do a complete U-turn and go in a new direction. An excellent direction.

‘I could help,’ Kate offered. ‘I could do some research and compile a list of cases where the time taken to do biopsies could have had a bearing in the patient’s outcome.’

‘Cool.’ Connor swung his leg over the bike and kicked it into life. ‘We’ll talk.’

Kate climbed on behind him. She raised her voice. ‘If Bella’s actually remembered to turn the oven on, there might be a roast chicken waiting. You could stay for dinner and we could talk about it.’

* * *

They not only talked about it, they came up with a plan of action that they got stuck into the very next day by going to see the clinical director of St Patrick’s hospital.

‘If nothing else,’ Kate finished their presentation by saying, ‘if news of this near-miss got into the media, it would be a good thing to be able to say that definitive steps were being taken to make sure it never happened again.’

Connor was impressed by her inspired addition. The clinical director looked thoughtful.

‘I still need the facts and figures to take to the funding committee. How soon can you present a report?’

Connor sounded confident. ‘The end of the week. Early next week at the latest.’ He glanced at Kate for confirmation and she nodded.

The clinical director looked from Connor to Kate and back again. He shook his head and actually smiled.

‘I think it might work,’ he said, ‘but I have to say you two seem like a very unlikely team.’

Unlikely they may be but it became clear rapidly that they worked very well together. Connor spent more than one evening in the pathology department helping Kate locate and document cases. Not that they needed anything more than Estelle’s case but it wouldn’t hurt to strengthen it.

‘How’s Estelle doing?’ Kate asked.

‘Great. She’s up and around on her crutches. I’ll let her go home very soon.’

‘How long before she can go surfing again?’

‘I’m not sure I’m going to be able to control that one. I suspect she’ll be in the water as soon as that fracture’s healed. I’ll keep a close watch on her for the next few years, though, to make sure she doesn’t get a recurrence.’

Kate smiled at him.

‘What?’

‘Nothing... I was just imagining you keeping a watch on her by going to some surfing competition.’

Connor grinned. ‘I might just do that. Want to come with me?’

The question hung in the air. They were talking about the future here. Possibly a long time into the future. Would they still be friends?

Connor hoped so.

More than friends?

No. Kate had made it clear she didn’t want a relationship. And he didn’t either. Not with someone like Kate, anyway. She was so different from his usual type of relationship material that he wouldn’t know where to start. And if you did start, how on earth would you finish? Finishing always had to be on the agenda. It wasn’t fair to expect anyone to want to stay with him long term. Not when he couldn’t offer what it was that women always wanted. Even a friendship with this woman was not something to be taken lightly.

It felt like a privilege.

Connor insisted on walking Kate back to the car-parking building when they finished those sessions late at night. Offering protection to a woman was mandatory in his book.

‘You just never know,’ he overrode her protests sternly.

His point was proven on that last night, when they’d been putting the finishing touches to their report. He’d seen Kate to her car and was heading for his bike when he heard the voices behind him. Turning, he saw that a man was approaching Kate so Connor headed over as well.

The man’s voice was raised by the time he got close.

‘I just want change so I can get a parking ticket from the damned machine,’ he was shouting angrily. ‘You’re a doctor, for God’s sake...it’s not as if it’s a big deal.’

Connor was close enough now to smell the alcohol fumes coming from the man, who was wearing a very scruffy overcoat despite the fact that it was a warm evening. He was also carrying a plastic shopping bag that appeared to be stuffed full of old clothing. Was he homeless? Had he found a good way of conning small change out of a large number of people? Whatever. He wasn’t a small man and Kate wasn’t looking happy.

In fact, when Connor stepped in to stand beside her, his shoulder touched hers and he could actually feel how tense her whole body was.

Kate was frightened and Connor suddenly felt very angry.

‘Get lost,’ he told the man. ‘And if I find you here again, intimidating women, I’ll call Security. No...I might just deliver you to the nearest police station myself.’

‘Oh...yeah?’ The man swayed slightly and then took a closer look at Connor and backed away. ‘I only wanted a couple of dollars,’ he muttered.

‘He would probably have just gone away if you’d given him something,’ Connor reassured Kate. ‘I don’t think he intended you any real harm.’

‘No.’ But Kate seemed frozen to the spot.

‘Not that I’m saying you
should
have given him the money,’ Connor added. He’d known instinctively the first time he’d met Kate that the worst way to gain her cooperation would be by making demands. She needed to be treated with respect. She
deserved
to be treated with respect, dammit.

But even so, there was something strange about the way she was standing, holding herself so rigidly. Connor put his arm around her shoulders.

‘It’s OK,’ he said. ‘He’s gone.’

She flinched at his touch. He felt it and a chill ran down Connor’s spine but instead of letting go he turned Kate to face him, holding both her shoulders.

‘What is it, Katie?’ he asked softly. ‘What happened to you? Did someone hurt you?’

She didn’t have to confirm what he suspected. Connor had no difficulty putting two and two together. The way she’d looked at him that night of the fancy-dress ball. The way she kept herself socially aloof. The knowledge that there was a sensual woman hidden—
protected
—under that prim exterior.

‘Who was it?’ A burn of an anger like Connor had never felt before ignited in his gut. ‘Who hurt you?’

There was a desperate look in her eyes. As though she was ashamed that anyone knew. As if she thought that somehow it had been her fault.

It had to have been a man.

‘Your father?’ he ground out. ‘A boyfriend?’

A reluctant nod. A pause and then a firmer movement of her head.

‘My father was...an alcoholic,’ Kate said quietly. ‘That man smelled...’

‘I know.’ Connor pulled her closer so that he could hold her. Protect her. And he had the feeling that he hadn’t heard the whole story by any means.

‘And the boyfriend?’

He got no answer but he felt the way Kate shrank in arms.

‘Oh, my God...’ he murmured. ‘He
hit
you?’

Kate tried to pull away. Connor didn’t know whether continuing to hold her would make it worse but he couldn’t help himself. He wasn’t that man. He’d earned her trust by now, hadn’t he?

He was certainly about to find out.

‘You’re safe, Katie,’ he said. ‘I’m not going to hurt you. I could never hurt you. You trust me...don’t you?’

She was still rigid, poised to struggle and flee. Time froze for a heartbeat and then another and then Connor felt the fight drain out of her body. She almost sagged against him.

‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘I do trust you.’

Connor ended up sitting in the car with her that night and they talked for a long time before Kate drove herself home. She made him promise never to tell anybody what he’d learned about her.

‘Especially Bella,’ she warned. ‘She’s never known the real reason I went to live with my brother. I think she’s guessed that David and I grew up in an abusive household but I’ve never told anyone how bad it really was.’

Connor had to unclench his fists. He could join more dots together now. No wonder Kate wasn’t into the idea of having a relationship. The kind of damage that could be done with a history like hers was unimaginable.

Even if she wanted a relationship or had wanted one in the past, it would take a very strong man to be able to get past that kind of damage.

And yet that was what made Kate who she was, wasn’t it?

Unique.

And he wasn’t exactly without emotional baggage himself. Maybe this gave them more in common than she realised.

Maybe he could help Kate.

Fix her, even?

Tread carefully, he warned himself. Someone could get hurt.

Someone like Kate.

* * *

‘Have you been to bed with him yet?’

‘
Bella!
’ Kate shook her head. ‘I really shouldn’t let you have wine with dinner, should I?’

Bella tossed her head, unrepentant. She eyed Kate. ‘You haven’t, have you?’

‘We’re friends, that’s all.’

Bella snorted. ‘Don’t give me that. You’re besotted with each other. You’ve been having coffee dates and dinner dates for weeks now. You had all those late nights closeted in the pathology department working on that report thing. He
must
have kissed you by now.’

The heat that infused Kate’s cheeks came from nowhere and startled both of them.

‘You’re
blushing
.’ Bella’s astonishment became laughter. ‘Auntie Katie blushing. Who knew?’

‘Give it a rest, Bella. This thing between Connor and me is friendship, that’s all.’

A friendship like nothing Kate had ever had in her life. It had begun with that bike ride to the beach and that gentle kiss in the sunset.

No. It had really begun that night on the dance floor, hadn’t it?

Or maybe even when she’d followed those tyre tracks to where he’d wheeled that ridiculous machine into the children’s ward.

It had been strengthened by the addition of trust in the way Connor had handled the incident of the diagnostic error with Estelle’s tumour. Their dinner date this week had been a celebration of the approval for immediate funding of the pathology lab in Theatre. Within a short space of time, hopefully, Kate was to have the honour of being the first pathologist to be on duty for Theatre to have a test run to check that they had all the equipment they needed in the sparkling new designated area. It might be no more than the size of a cupboard, sheared off from one end of the staffroom with a sliding glass hatch into one of the operating theatres, but it was a huge step for all the interested parties and Kate was as excited about it as Connor.