The Left Behind Collection: All 12 Books (55 page)

Buck heard whispering upstairs, then water running and drawers opening and shutting. Chloe came back down in jeans and a sweatshirt, a jacket, a cap, and tennis shoes. “Do you have to go?” she said. “Or do you want to take a walk?”

“You’re not kicking me out after all?”

“We need to talk somewhere else so Dad can get to sleep.”

“We were keeping him up?”

“Sort of.”

Rayford heard the front door shut, then knelt by his bed. He prayed Chloe and Buck would be good for each other, regardless of what the future held for them. Even if they became only good friends, he would be grateful for that. He crawled into bed, falling into a light, fitful sleep, listening for Chloe’s return and praying about the opportunity that had been presented him that day.

The night was nippy but clear as midnight approached. “Buck,” Chloe said as they turned a corner to wend their way through the fashionable Arlington Heights subdivision, “I just want to say again how—”

Buck stopped and snagged Chloe’s jacket sleeve. “Chloe, don’t. We’ve got only seven years. We can’t live in the past. We’ve both stumbled this weekend, and we’ve apologized, so let’s be done with it.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.” They continued walking. “’Course, I’m gonna need to find out who’s sending you flowers.”

“I’ve been thinking about that, and I have a suspicion.”

“Who?”

“It’s kind of embarrassing, because that might have been my fault too.”

“Your old boyfriend?”

“No! I told you when we first met, we dated when I was a freshman and he was a senior. He graduated and I never heard from him again. He’s married.”

“Then it had better not be him. Any other guys at Stanford who wish you would come back?”

“Nobody with the style to send flowers.”

“Your dad?”

“He already denied it.”

“Who does that leave?”

“Think about it,” Chloe said.

Buck squinted and thought. “Bruce!? Oh, no, you don’t think . . . ?”

“Who else is there?”

“How would you have encouraged him?”

“I don’t know. I like him a lot. I admire him. His honesty moves me, and he’s so passionate and sincere.”

“I know, and he has to be lonely. But it’s only been a few weeks since he lost his family. I can’t imagine it would be him.”

“I tell him I enjoy his messages,” Chloe said. “Maybe I’m being more friendly than I need to be. It’s just that I never thought of him that way, you know?”

“Could you? He’s a sharp young guy.”

“Buck! He’s older than you!”

“Not much.”

“Yeah, but you’re on the very end of the age spectrum I’d even consider.”

“Well, thank you so much! How soon before you have to have me back to the home?”

“Oh, Buck, it’s so embarrassing! I need Bruce as a friend and as a teacher!”

“You’re sure you wouldn’t consider more?”

She shook her head. “I just can’t see it. It’s not that he’s unattractive, but I can’t imagine ever thinking of him that way. You know, he asked me to work for him, full-time. I never even thought there might be an ulterior motive.”

“Now don’t jump to conclusions, Chloe.”

“I’m good at that, aren’t I?”

“You’re asking the wrong person.”

“What am I going to do, Buck? I don’t want to hurt him. I can’t tell him I don’t think of him in that way. You know this all has to just be a reaction to his loss. Like he’s on the rebound.”

“I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose a wife,” Buck said.

“And kids.”

“Yeah.”

“You told me once that you were never serious about anyone.”

“Right. Well, a couple of times I thought I was, but I had jumped the gun. One girl, a year ahead of me in grad school, dumped me because I was too slow to make a move on her.”

“No!”

“Guess I’m a little old-fashioned that way.”

“That’s encouraging.”

“I lost whatever feeling I had for her real quick.”

“I can imagine. So you weren’t the typical college guy?”

“You want the truth?”

“I don’t know. Do I?”

“Depends. Would you rather hear that I have all kinds of experience because I’m such a cool guy, or that I’m a virgin?”

“You’re going to tell me whatever I want to hear?”

“I’m going to tell you the truth. I just wouldn’t mind knowing in advance which you’d want to hear.”

“Experienced or a virgin,” Chloe repeated. “That’s a no-brainer. Definitely the latter.”

“Bingo,” Buck said softly, more from embarrassment than from braggadocio.

“Wow,” Chloe said. “That’s kind of hard to believe these days.”

“I have to say I’m more grateful than proud. My reasons were not as pure as they would be today. I mean, just about everybody I knew was sleeping around, and I didn’t abstain out of any sense of morality. I had opportunities but usually with women I wasn’t that into. I’m not saying I wasn’t tempted or even that I didn’t want to. Truth is, people always assumed I got around because I ran in pretty fast circles. And it’s not that I was backward when it came to stuff like that. But kind of conservative.”

“You’re apologizing.”

“I don’t mean to be. I suppose it should be embarrassing to be a virgin at my age. I’ve always been ahead of my generation in a lot of other ways.”

“That’s an understatement,” Chloe said. “You think God was protecting you, even before you were aware of him?”

“I never thought of it that way, but it very well could be. I’ve never had to worry about disease and all the emotional stuff that goes with intimate relationships.”

Buck rubbed the back of his neck.

“This is embarrassing you, isn’t it?” Chloe said.

“A little.”

“So I suppose you’d rather not hear about my sexual experience or lack of it.”

Buck grimaced. “If you don’t mind. See, I’m only thirty and I feel like an old-timer when you even use the word . . .
sex
. So maybe you should spare me.”

“But Buck, what if something comes of our relationship? Aren’t you going to be curious?”

“Maybe I’ll ask you then.”

“But what if by then you’re already madly in love with me, and you find out something you can’t live with?”

Buck was ashamed of himself. It was one thing to admit to a woman that you’re a virgin when it seemed to put you in one of the smaller minorities in the world. But she was so straightforward, so direct. He didn’t want to talk about this, to hear about it, to know, especially if she was more “experienced” than he. And yet she had a point. She seemed more comfortable talking about their future than he did, but he was the one who had decided to pursue a relationship. He shrugged.

“I’ll spare you the mystery,” Chloe said. “My boyfriends in high school, and my boyfriend my freshman year at Stanford and I were not models of, what did my mother call it, propriety? That’s probably why I never lasted with any of them in the long run.”

“Um, Chloe, could we talk about something else?”

“You
are
an old codger, aren’t you?”

“I guess.” Buck blushed. “I can interview heads of state, but this kind of frankness is new to me.”

“C’mon, Buck, you hear this and a lot worse on talk shows every day.”

“But I don’t put you in the category of a talk-show guest.”

“Am I too blunt?”

“I’m just not used to it and not good at it.”

Chloe chuckled. “What are the odds that two unmarried people are taking a walk at midnight in America talking about whether or not they’re virgins?”

“Especially after all the Christians were taken away.”

“Amazing,” she said. “But you want to talk about something else.”

“Do I!”

“Tell me why you had to go to New York.”

It was after one o’clock when Rayford stirred at the sound of the front door. It opened but did not close. He heard Chloe and Buck chatting from just inside the door. “I’ve really got to get going,” Buck said. “I’m expecting a response from New York on my article tomorrow morning, and I want to be awake enough to interact.”

After Buck left, Rayford heard Chloe close the door. Her footsteps on the stairs seemed lighter than they had earlier in the evening. He heard her tiptoe to his door and peek in. “I’m awake, hon,” he said. “Everything all right?”

“Better than all right,” she said, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. “Thanks, Dad,” she said in the darkness.

“You have a good talk?”

“Yeah. Buck is incredible.”

“He kiss you?”

“No! Dad!”

“Hold hands?”

“No! Now stop it! We just talked. You wouldn’t believe the offer he got today.”

“Offer?”

“I don’t have time to get into it tonight. You flying tomorrow?”

“No.”

“We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

“I want to tell you about an offer I got today, too,” Rayford said.

“What was it?”

“Too involved for tonight. I’m not going to take it anyway. We can talk about it in the morning.”

“Dad, tell me one more time you didn’t send those flowers just to cheer me up. I’ll feel awful if you did and I trashed them.”

“I didn’t, Chlo’.”

“That’s good, I guess. But it wasn’t Buck, either.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive this time.”

“Uh-oh.”

“You thinking what I’m thinking, Dad?”

“I’ve been wondering about Bruce ever since I heard Buck tell you it wasn’t him.”

“What am I going to do, Dad?”

“If you’re going to work with the man, you’ll have to have a talk with him.”

“Why is it my responsibility? I didn’t start this! I didn’t encourage it—at least I didn’t mean to.”

“Well, you could ignore it. I mean, he sent them anonymously. How were you supposed to know who they were from?”

“Yeah! I don’t really know, do I?”

“Of course not.”

“I’m supposed to see him tomorrow afternoon,” she said, “to talk about this job.”

“Then talk about the job.”

“And ignore the flowers?”

“You sort of already did that, didn’t you?”

Chloe laughed. “If he’s got the guts to own up to sending them, then we can talk about what it all means.”

“Sounds good.”

“But, Dad, if Buck and I keep seeing each other, it’s going to become obvious.”

“You don’t want people to know?”

“I don’t want to shove it in Bruce’s face, knowing how he feels about me.”

“But you
don’t
know.”

“That’s right, isn’t it? If he doesn’t tell me, I don’t know.”

“G’night, Chloe.”

“But it’s going to be awkward working for him or with him, won’t it, Dad?”

“’Night, Chloe.”

“I just don’t want to—”

“Chloe! It’s tomorrow already!”

“’Night, Dad.”