The Left Behind Collection: All 12 Books (126 page)

“I didn’t know a lot of people had questions about that very thing. Was the Rapture the end? If you missed out because you didn’t believe, were you lost forever? I had never thought about it, but supposedly lots of preachers believed you couldn’t become a believer after the Rapture. They used that to scare people into making their decisions in advance. I wish I’d heard that before because I might have believed.”

Mac looked sharply at Rayford. “No you wouldn’t. If you were going to believe before, you would have believed your wife.”

“Probably. But I sure couldn’t argue now. What other explanation was there? I was ready. I wanted to tell God that if there was one more chance, if the Rapture had been his last attempt to get my attention, it had worked.”

“So then, what? You had to do something? Say something? Talk to a pastor, what?”

“On the DVD, Billings walked through what he called the Bible’s plan of salvation. That was a strange term to me. I’d heard it at some time or another, but not in our first church. And at New Hope I wasn’t listening. I was sure listening now.”

“So, what’s the plan?”

“It’s simple and straightforward, Mac.” Rayford outlined from memory the basics about man’s sin separating him from God and God’s desire to welcome him back. “Everybody’s a sinner,” Rayford said. “I wasn’t open to that before. But with everything my wife said coming true, I saw myself for what I was. There were worse people. A lot of people would say I was better than most, but next to God I felt worthless.”

“That’s one thing I don’t have any problem with, Ray. You won’t find me claiming to be anything but a scoundrel.”

“And yet, see? Most people think you’re a nice guy.”

“I’m OK, I guess. But I know the real me.”

“Pastor Billings pointed out that the Bible says, ‘There is none righteous, no, not one’ and that ‘all we like sheep have gone astray,’ and that ‘all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags.’ It didn’t make me feel better to know I wasn’t unique. I was just grateful there was some plan to reconnect me with God. When he explained how a holy God had to punish sin but didn’t want any of the people he created to die, I finally started to see it. Jesus, the Son of God, the only man who ever lived without sin, died for everybody’s sin. All we had to do was believe that, repent of our sins, receive the gift of salvation. We would be forgiven and what Billings referred to as ‘reconciled’ to God.”

“So if I believe that, I’m in?” Mac said.

“You also have to believe that God raised Jesus from the dead. That provided the victory over sin and death, and it also proved Jesus was divine.”

“I believe all that, Ray, so is that it? Am I in?”

Rayford’s blood ran cold. What was troubling him? Whatever made him sure Amanda was alive was also making him wonder whether Mac was sincere. This was too easy. Mac had seen the turmoil of almost two years of the Tribulation already. But was that enough to persuade him?

He seemed sincere. But Rayford didn’t really know him, didn’t know his background. Mac could be a loyalist, a Carpathia plant. Rayford had already exposed himself to mortal danger if Mac was merely entrapping him. Silently he prayed again, “God, how will I know for sure?”

“Bruce Barnes, my first pastor, encouraged us to memorize Scripture. I don’t know if I’ll find my Bible again, but I remember lots of passages. One of the first I learned was Romans 10:9-10. It says, ‘If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.’”

Mac stared ahead, as if concentrating on flying. He was suddenly less animated. He spoke more deliberately. Rayford didn’t know what to make of it. “What does it mean to confess with your mouth?” Mac said.

“Just what it sounds like. You’ve got to say it. You’ve got to tell somebody. In fact, you’re supposed to tell lots of people.”

“You think Nicolae Carpathia is the Antichrist. Is there anything in the Bible about telling him?”

Rayford shook his head. “Not that I know of. Not too many people have to make that choice. Carpathia knows where I stand because he has ears everywhere. He knows my son-in-law is a believer, but Buck never told him. He thought it best to keep that to himself so he could be more effective.” Rayford was either persuading Mac or burying himself, he wasn’t sure which.

Mac was silent several minutes. Finally he sighed. “So how does it work? How did you know when you’d done whatever it was God wanted you to do?”

“Pastor Billings walked the viewers of that DVD through a prayer. We were to tell God we knew we were sinners and that we needed his forgiveness. We were to tell him we believed Jesus died for our sins and God raised him from the dead. Then we were to accept his gift of salvation and thank him for it.”

“Seems too easy.”

“Believe me, it might have been easier if I had done it before. But this isn’t what I call easy.”

For another long stretch, Mac said nothing. Every time that happened, Rayford felt gloomier. Was he handing himself to the enemy? “Mac, this is something you can do on your own, or I could pray with you, or—”

“No. This is definitely something a person should do on his own.
You
were alone, weren’t you?”

“I was,” Rayford said.

Mac seemed nervous. Distracted. He didn’t look at Rayford. Rayford didn’t want to push, and yet he hadn’t decided yet whether Mac was a live prospect or just playing him. If the former was true, he didn’t want to let Mac off the hook by being too polite.

“So what do you think, Mac? What are you gonna do about this?”

Rayford’s heart sank when Mac not only did not respond, but also looked the other way. Rayford wished he was clairvoyant. He would have liked to know whether he had come on too strong or had exposed Mac for the phony he was.

Mac took a deep breath and held it. Finally he exhaled and shook his head. “Ray, I appreciate your telling me this. It’s quite a story. Very impressive. I’m moved. I can see why you believe, and no doubt it works for you.”

So that was it,
Rayford thought.
Mac was going to blow it off by using the glad-it-works-for-you routine.

“But it’s personal and private, isn’t it?” Mac continued. “I want to be careful not to pretend or rush into it in an emotional moment.”

“I understand,” Rayford said, desperately wishing he knew Mac’s heart.

“So you won’t take it personally if I sleep on this?”

“Not at all,” Rayford said. “I hope there’s no aftershock or attack that might get you killed before you are assured of heaven, but—”

“I have to think God knows how close I am and wouldn’t allow that.”

“I don’t claim to know the mind of God,” Rayford said. “Just let me say I wouldn’t push my luck.”

“Are you pressuring me?”

“Sorry. You’re right. No one can be badgered into it.”

Rayford feared he had offended Mac. That or Mac’s attitude was a stalling technique. On the other hand, if Mac
was
a subversive, he wouldn’t be above faking a salvation experience to ingratiate himself to Rayford. He wondered when he would ever be sure of Mac’s credibility.

When Buck finally reached the furniture store, he found jerry-built construction. No semblance of streets or roads existed, so emergency vehicles staked out their spots with no thought to conserving space or leaving paths open to the doors. Global Community peacekeeping emergency forces traipsed in and out with supplies as well as new patients.

Buck got in only because of the security clearance level on his Global Community identification tag. He asked for Mrs. Cavenaugh and was pointed to a row of a dozen wood-and-canvas cots lining a wall in one corner. They were so close no one could walk between them.

Buck smelled freshly cut wood and was surprised to see new two-by-fours nailed together for railings throughout. The rear of the building had sunk about three feet, causing the concrete floor to split in the middle. When he got to the crack, he had to hang on to the two-by-fours because the pitch was so steep. Wood blocks anchored to the floor kept the cots from sliding. Emergency personnel took tiny steps, shoulders back, to keep from tumbling forward.

Each cot had a strip of paper stapled to the foot end, with either a hand-printed or computer-generated name. When Buck walked through, most of the conscious patients rolled up on their elbows, as if to see if he was their loved one. They reclined again when they didn’t recognize him.

The paper on the third cot from the wall read “Cavenaugh, Helen.”

She was asleep. Men were on either side of her. One, who appeared homeless, sat with his back to the wall. He seemed to protect a paper bag full of clothes. He eyed Buck warily and pulled out a department store catalog, which he pretended to read with great interest.

On Helen Cavenaugh’s other side was a thin young man who appeared in his early twenties. His eyes darted and he ran his hands through his hair. “I need a smoke,” he said. “You got any cigarettes?”

Buck shook his head. The man rolled onto his side, pulled his knees up to his chest, and lay rocking. Buck would not have been surprised to find the man’s thumb in his mouth.

Time was of the essence, but who knew what trauma Mrs. Cavenaugh was sleeping off? She had very nearly been killed, and she had no doubt seen the remains of her house when she was carted away. Buck grabbed a plastic chair and sat at the foot of her cot. He wouldn’t wake her, but he would talk to her at the first sign of consciousness.

Rayford wondered when he had become such a pessimist. And why hadn’t it affected his bedrock belief that his wife was still alive? He didn’t believe Carpathia’s implication that she had been working for the Global Community. Or was that, too, just a story from Mac?

Since he had become a believer, Rayford had begun to look on the brighter side, in spite of the chaos. But now, a deep, dark sense of foreboding came over him as Mac landed, still silent. They secured the helicopter and completed postflight procedures. Before they passed security to enter the shelter, Mac said, “This is all complicated too, Captain, because you are my boss.”

That had not seemed to affect anything else that day. They had flown more as buddies than as boss and subordinate. Rayford would have no trouble maintaining decorum, but it sounded as if Mac might.

Rayford wanted to leave their conversation concrete, but he didn’t want to give Mac an ultimatum or tell him to report back. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.

Mac nodded, but as they headed for their own quarters, a uniformed orderly approached. “Captain Steele and Officer McCullum? You are requested in the central command area.” He handed each a card.

Rayford read silently, “My office, ASAP. Leonardo Fortunato.” Since when had Leon begun using his entire first name?

“Wonder what Leon wants at this time of the night?”

Mac peeked at Rayford’s card. “Leon? I’ve got a meeting with Carpathia.” He showed Rayford his card.

Was that really a surprise to Mac, or was this all one big setup? He and Mac had not gotten into why Rayford and the rest of the Tribulation Force believed Carpathia fit the bill of the Antichrist. Still, Mac had enough information on Rayford to bury him. And, apparently, he had the right audience.