The Last Lady from Hell (28 page)

Piper and comrades on the Somme

The divisonal badge of the 36
^th
Ulster

Soldier sleeping in the trenches

Stretcher bearers under horrific conditions

Badge of the 1
^st
newfoundland

Typical building of the 5
^th
Canadian Stationary Hospital

PART SIX

IN PREPARATION

5th Canadian Hospital, Amiens

T
he buildup of troops in the Somme Valley was now common knowledge among the staff at the 5th Canadian Stationary Hospital. After all, it made sense to alert your Hospital units of the potential for a large influx of wounded. Preparations were made to deal with the high volume that was anticipated. Enormous amounts of supplies were being requisitioned at an extraordinary rate. Sheila was having a casual conversation with a fellow nurse as they both surveyed the long line of supply wagons and lorries unloading their cargo. They had both been around long enough to know that preemptive supply distributions always came before an offensive, but this one was by far the biggest they had seen.

“I wonder how big a push this really is going to be?” Sheila’s friend asked.

“I heard that Field Marshall Haige wants to push the Germans right back to Berlin. And judging by the number of supply wagons, this is the biggest yet,” Sheila said.

“Maybe that will be enough to put a stop to this thing and we can all go home again,” her friend said. “It would be a grand thing if that were to happen.”

Sheila nodded, but didn’t want to pin her hopes up on the chance of that happening.

It was a lovely warm day and many convalescing injured men were outside enjoying the weather and smoking in the newly designated courtyard not far from where the ladies were talking.

There was a strict rule against smoking inside the hospital due to the widespread use of oxygen and ether, both of which were highly combustible. The problem was that most of the men smoked. This actually provided an incentive for a patient to recuperate enough to walk, wheel, or be wheeled out to the smoking area.

There was also the added benefit of social interaction with fellow injured patients. It seemed to help with the men’s attitudes and Sheila correctly believed that a major portion of the healing process came from the mind. She had fought hard for the formation of an official smoking area, against the ardent objections of her nemesis, Kathleen Blighton.

Sister Kathleen believed that smoking was a sin against God’s temple, but curiously overlooked the sin of destruction of God’s temple by means of shrapnel or bullets.

The smoking area was a bone of contention between Sheila and the Sister until the issue was brought before the chief surgeon, Dr. Robert Churchill only two days before. Dr. Churchill was a pipe smoker himself, but he did not let that influence his input on the matter. He was a wise and observant man by nature and could clearly see that the psychological benefits derived by this social interaction outweighed the health risk of the habit.

Churchill called a meeting of the nursing staff to listen to input from both sides before he announced his decision on the subject.
Now, it should be noted that Dr. Churchill had a very dry and warped sense of humor, and it should also be noted that he appreciated the dedication and service of both of these nurses. However, he disliked Sister Kathleen’s officious demeanor and, therefore, had a predisposition toward Sheila’s argument.

There seemed to be a naughty schoolboy side to the doctor that had remained from childhood. He would often make a point using sarcasm presented with a remarkable degree of feigned innocence. With his reading glasses perched halfway down his nose and a clipboard in his lap he called the meeting to order.

“It has been brought to my attention that an area for our convalescing patients to congregate and smoke outside the confines of the ward may be beneficial. It has also been brought to my attention that this idea could have negative health implications. We are here to examine the issue and to come to a decision.”

The doctor looked down at his clipboard and then back a both Sheila and Sister Kathleen. “The fact is that smoking is a habit that is common among the men that existed prior to their visit to the 5th. While I personally believe that smoking is an objectionable habit that carries with it potential long term negative health implications–”

Sister Kathleen smiled and sat up straighter in her seat in anticipation of Dr. Churchill nixing the idea.

“It is not, however, the objective or obligation of the hospital or its staff to cure smoking,” he continued. “Rather it is our goal to cure the patient, smoke or not. There are arguably positive benefits to the idea which must also be considered.”

Sister Kathleen deflated momentarily, then rose to the defense. “Doctor, allowing the patients to damage themselves further with a filthy habit is contrary to the objectives of–”

Churchill glared over his glasses pointing his pen at the Sister. “Stop!” he ordered. “You have amply presented your case to me in the past. This is a verbalization of my thoughts and will be followed by my decision. There will be no further interruptions.”

Sister Kathleen’s mouth went taut and her lips pressed together so tightly they seemed to disappear.

Dr. Churchill raised one eyebrow, and an almost undetectable devilish smile came to his mouth while he looked down to hide any sign of it. The warped and naughty side was beginning to surface. He looked up and continued in a serious tone, “As I was saying, there are some positive benefits that must be considered. For example, I believe that an area for smoking may improve the incidence of healthy intercourse between patients which can only improve their mental states and, therefore, enhancing their eventual recovery.”

All the nurses in the room looked at each other regarding the doctor’s curious choice of words. Sister Kathleen shifted uncomfortably in her seat. This was just the beginning of Churchill’s innuendos.

“It is not my suggestion that a large erection is necessary to promote such social behavior, on the contrary, a simple open air court will do,” he said.

Several nurses were well aware of Churchill’s antics and blurted out in coughing spasms in an effort to stifle laughing. Sheila tried desperately to force down a smile and stared down at the floor trying to keep her amusement hidden.

Churchill continued in a mock serious manner, ignoring the guffaws of the crowd. “I believe that this type of intercourse will be a welcome stimulation for the patients and, of course, as the patient becomes more stimulated, they eventually come...” Churchill paused and drank some water “closer to achieving a recovery.”

Sister Kathleen’s mouth was fully opened, aghast in shock and disbelief. Many nurses were holding their mouths with both hands trying not to laugh out loud. Churchill looked off in the distance keeping his deadpan expression.

“It is hard...very hard to predict the total value of this idea, but I know that with the help of a cooperative yet firm staff, this type of intercourse in this newly designated area will be easily achievable.”

Sister Kathleen’s dumbstruck expression had now changed to a red faced scowl of total disapproval. She had heard enough. She
jumped to her feet. “Doctor, I would have a word with you, alone!” she commended.

“Of course,” Dr. Churchill said with a look of surprise. They walked out of the room into an adjoining area.